Maria | promise to be dazzling

there

Praying she hits rock bottom and makes the decision to get help herself because there's just no convincing someone in that state. "I'm the healthiest I've ever been!" with visible muscle wasting. It's genuinely like a mental virus. Once infected...the obsession, the denial. The addiction to feeling light/pure/clean and above all else: in control. The quiet meanness. The disgust with others. The spite it takes to keep going.

Sorry I'm rambling. It's just weighing on me due to past experiences. Hugs for anyone out there struggling with this bullshit themselves. I know it's not easy. <3

tw: eating disorders and all that good stuff

listen idk what to even say about her. the girl is obviously sick, but idk she’s also living her life. I can relate to everything you said bc I’ve also looked like ariana or worse. tbh there’s a certain point past which eds are very hard to come back from, and even if you do recover physically, your mind will have a hard time catching up. you’re forever changed by it, especially if you associate being at a higher weight with really difficult periods in your life, which she clearly does. she’s also soooo mental health focused, and she seems to feel like she’s genuinely grown a lot during this period (some of her tour visuals really mimic some eras tour radical acceptance stuff). I don’t think any of the comments help (if I see one more SHE WAS SO HEALTHY STRONG AND POWERFUL istg like it’s getting gratuitous), but not saying anything bc ‘commenting on women’s bodies is bad’ doesn’t help either.

idk it is what it is. you’d be surprised by how long someone can stay extremely sick without being in an acute crisis. no one can actually save her. I genuinely don’t know how I feel about the commentary tbh. I don’t love the whole pretend nothing is happening and avert your eyes approach, but internet commentary about thin women always has a tinge of jealousy that a disordered person will turn into something much greater in their head.