☾

when families ask why you don’t have a boyfriend for a long time already and you debate on saying how can i love someone else without loving myself first or nah i’m too focused on my studies but they conclude that youre gay 

5 more months. 5 more months till i can leave.

i thought i was going (and it was driving me) crazy having this extreme fear. there's actually such thing that exists. anxiety’s a major bitch but this has been my number one concern from day 1. i end up keeping the gifts for months and years or forever because i couldnt bring myself to give it. it's already there, but rotting in the corner together with my pressed worries https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/presence-mind/201412/gift-giving-anxiety

i’m aware at how much i push people away or make myself invisible. it suddenly struck me how when i always get the question of what superpower i want, it would always to be invisible. not even sure if i ever had an underlying reason for it ever. have always wanted to erase my existence, unfollow everyone on my social media like wtf am i still doing there anyway lol. intentionally ignoring texts and calls. man, sorry if i lied to you about missing your message. i’ve had my text alert off for months and people actually don’t believe me??? do i look like im kidding????? im sure as hell im not trying to cover myself up for not replying you lmao like i really do not bother please understand and not talk to me 

apology / ikon