D A N I

The last three days have been hell on earth

Anyways now I would like to pass away.

Also I haven’t really talked to her all day

To begin i would like to state that, if there is a higher power, i must ask the question, ‘why do you pain me?’ 

My life began in China, where i stayed with my presumed parents for 10 days, due to the one-child policy in place. I was given to an orphanage, where I did not have a true family until I was nearly a year old. 

I had been adopted to two Canadian parents, and was also given a brother. 

Growing up, until the first grade, my best friend lived down the street and we would play together very often, although she moved away. Across town, although it seems like a world apart to my young self. 

Later on in elementary school, I have always felt different than everyone else. Being that I had no sense of belonging. I was the only asian-adopted person that I knew, for the most part. And I was one of the few asian people that I knew. School meant I was different, and coming home to my white family meant I was different. I always tried to reject my asian identity, and pretended that I was white, as were my family. I never really belonged anywhere, and I never really had friends. 

Entering middle school, I still did not have any close friends, but I did have people that I hung out with during school hours. Although was nice, I never really felt loved anywhere. 

Entering highschool, I still didn’t have many friends, let alone any best friends until the the 10th grade. Although, shortly after my close friendship had developed, She moved away to California. 3,000 miles away from me. 

The summer after highschool, I made a new very close friend. He is my very best friend. I often call him my soul mate, because he is the only person who made me feel like I am not the problem for the lack of love I receive. That I am worthy, and I am a good person. But unfortunately, he passed away earlier this month. 

All this to say, I am hurt, I am broken, and I am alone.