this is sort of a blog

there’s no best dr who, there’s only the one you imprinted on like a baby bird

Friendly reminder that if you shake hands with a guy you shouldn’t eat or touch your face until you’ve washed your hands.

this isnt some Feminist Joke, btw, they basically teach this in food safety since so many guys think its fine to not wash their hands after they’ve touched their dick

my package of dried mangoes assures me that they are made from “only the juiciest” mangoes, which is an interesting sentiment to me. “You would not BELIEVE how much water these bad boys had in them before we removed almost all of it.”

"This beef jerky was made from the juiciest goddamn cows you'd ever laid your eyes on. You could slap a side of this beef and hear a basketball hitting a gym floor. We had to wring those fuckers out like a shamwow for days."

i love when you’re reading a fic and it’s like ohhhhh the person who wrote this is british

going to therapy is so humiliating. gotta explain symptoms like I know how this sounds and I know what you’re gonna say. and the therapist is like it sounds like you’re having symptoms

it's always the fucking symptoms

someone needs to check up on the author of diary of a wimpy kid bc what if his publishing company is holding him hostage

The Good Place really went with making their new Point ‘there is no ethical consumption under capitalism’ and I respect that

every horror writer in history wanted what the 19th floor subplot in the Wayside School books had

Also the gentlemen with the black attaché case who offer you the choice between being safe or being free and the dead rats who live in the basement.

I have no idea what Wayside School is

It’s a trilogy of absurdist children’s novels published by Louis Sachar (the author of Holes) about a school that was supposed to be one storey with thirty rooms but is actually thirty storeys with a room on each floor because the builders were holding the plans sideways (and apparently this is how architecture works). Each book consists of a series of thirty loosely interrelated short stories about the students on the thirtieth floor, and there are a bunch of weird anomalous things that become running gags throughout the novels and, actually, now that I think about it, I can definitely see how Night Vale would have been inspired by this