VivianViolet_29

your dom is fucking you trying to make themselves cum, but you are coming up on the edge as well. you ask them over and over if you can please cum, but they say "you better not cum. keep holding it for me"

you keep trying to hang onto the edge as they continue pounding into you. it begins to become a struggle with you clenching everything to try not to explode.

finally, you feel them press into you one more time and their cock starts pulsing as you feel a warmness begin to fill you. they pull out and tell you that you did such a good job. their cum starts to leak out of you very slowly.

you, still in torment from riding the edge so long, continue to plead and beg for permission to cum.

"my dear, you did cum! dont you see it dripping from your hole?" your dom motions to the hole they had just pulled out of

"no i didnt cum. you didnt let me"

"then how come you have so much leaking out of you?"

"you came in me. your cum is leaking out of me Sir"

"youre very silly. its leaking out of your hole. i do believe that makes it your cum now."

"but i didnt cum Sir. im still so needy please"

"aww youre such a silly little slut. i helped you cum by giving you my cum. that's how sluts like you cum. isnt that right?"

"oh yes i see. the only cumming i should be doing is when you're cum is leaking out of me. i dont know why i was being silly. im sorry Sir"

"it's ok my precious slut, it's my job to remind you of the rules. ill be sure to keep reminding you so you arent as silly next time. now what do you say to me for letting you cum?"

"thank you Sir for letting me cum!"

1. Be over-stimulated or edged?

2. be a voyeur or have semi-public sex?

3. Finger yourself or follow guided masturbation?

4. Watch yourself in a mirror or listen to a recording of yourself?

5. Honey or ice?

6. Sleep in lingerie or nude?

7. Receive a voice memo or a nude from a mutual?

8. Shaved or bushy?

9. Grope yourself or be groped?

10. Cuddle under a blanket or sleep nude together?

11. Airplane sex or elevator sex?

12. Kitchen sex or shower sex?

13. Pool sex or workplace sex?

14. Watch porn or read erotica?

15. Receive or send a dirty message while at work?

16. Have your dirty thoughts shared with those around you or know the dirty thoughts of those around you?

17. Watch wlw or mlm porn?

18. Hump a pillow or use a vibrator?

19. Boobs or butt?

20. Lose your virginity together or lose to someone well-seasoned?

21. Get fingered in the library or at a nightclub?

22. Receive or perform oral?

23. Have “ok” sex daily or amazing sex once a week?

24. Doggy or missionary?

25. Physical touch or quality time?

26. Moan or scream?

27. Lace or latex?

28. White or black lingerie?

29. Have someone remote control your vibrator or control it for someone else?

Humiliation is a statement about how willing I am to debase myself for him. It’s about the contrast with who I otherwise am. I don’t get wet when he calls me a worthless cumslut because I believe I am lacking value, I get wet when he calls me a worthless cumslut because he’s pointing out to me how low I am willing to go for him. He knows I’m an accomplished woman, worthy of being treasured, and that it’s only for him that I will lower myself to ‘’worthless’’ cumslut in order to please.

AKA: NEVER CALL A SUBMISSIVE NEEDY AGAIN!!

There are days that I feel like we are slowly brainwashing all the submissives in the community to believe that they should feel guilty for the amount of attention they want from their Dominant. While nobody is swinging watches back and forth in front of their faces or giving them treats when they express that they feel badly for the attention they crave, it is getting done nonetheless with the word “needy”. 

need·yˈ

nēdē/

adjective

lacking the necessities of life; very poor.

Needy is not a nice word. Needy is a derogatory word. Needy should not be what someone WHO CHOOSES to give their power and choices to someone else, should be labeled. 

Vanilla couples don’t have the problem with this word that we do. In their partnerships, the individuals are expected to bear the weight of the work, responsibility, and decisions within the relationship with some semblance of equality in mind. If one partner gets lazy, and falters, they may be perceived to be not pulling their weight, which may eventually lead to problems, and ultimately, the end of a relationship. 

We don’t do things this way in the kinky world. Before their first dynamics, submissives often spends many months and years yearning to give up their power and decisions to a Dominant, and be made to feel cared for, and safe. When they finally find that first dynamic, they dive deep into their role, exploring it by probing their partner’s reactions, requesting structure and guidance, and demanding copious opportunities to serve, and fulfill their prime directives. They have been told communication is the key to a happy and productive dynamic, and they embrace that communication and attention with their Dominant with eager and open arms. 

That’s when it happens: someone calls them needy for the first time, making them feel bad for the way they have been wired, and for being enthusiastic about their partner and dynamic. It is at this point the idea of “lacking the necessities of life” and being thought of as “very poor” by their Dominant, starts to go to war against the natural order of a D/s dynamic, and begins to eat away at them. It makes them anxious about demanding attention from their Dominant. It makes them feel guilty for making requests of them. Being labeled as “needy”, throws them all out of balance, because needing someone strong, who helps them make all kinds of decisions that they have longed to be rid of, and gives them opportunity to serve, is what they have always wanted, and who they are supposed to be, and now they are being told that it’s too much. 

Why do we do this to our submissives? As Dominants, we want to be the boss, to have love and devotion within our relationships, and to feel needed, but when we get what we want, and it feels like too much, we shift the blame over to the submissive and call them needy. The truth is, when one member of a couple has given all their power and their decisions to the other member of the couple, THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF NEEDS FROM THEM. If you call yourself Dominant, or are aspiring to be one, you should be fully prepared to be intensely needed by your submissive, because they have voluntarily given you all of their power, and it is now YOUR ROLE to make a myriad of even the most basic decisions from them, from what they will eat for breakfast, to what they will wear to work. They will want tasks and rules and punishments, and it is now YOUR ROLE to give those to them. If you feel this is too much, it is not their problem that they are “needy”, it is yours for not understanding what you were getting yourself into. If you are not up for being needed by someone more than you have ever experienced before in your life, it’s time to make peace with your aspirations of being a Caregiver, Master, or Owner, and retreat back to vanilla world from whence you came. A full blown D/s relationship with fun bedroom playtime and having everything your way, comes at a price, and that price is giant piles your focus, and guidance. 

Is it fair to say your submissive has a lot of needs, or demands a lot of your attention? Sure! It’s a little like saying an elephant has a lot of weight, or an anaconda a lot of length. That’s the way those things are, and to dwell on it, or become resentful for things being what they are, is pointless and insane. If you are looking for an animal who is short, or light, look elsewhere. 

How can we stop this? We can start by correcting Dominants and our already brainwashed submissive community by lashing out at the word “needy” when we see it and hear it. We should lash out at the word because it expresses the natural inclinations of submissives in a profoundly negative way, and chips away at their natural evolution on their way to becoming happy and fulfilled in their dynamics. 

Submissives are never “needy”. They may need a lot, but that’s what you ordered from the menu, good Sir. If they don’t feel the need to call you bossy when you tell them what to do, you should surely be able to resist calling them needy for offering you their dependence.