Visum:Somnium

Reviewing some of my work, these last few tumultuous months that actually add up to more than a year…..and ran across ‘Blue’- my very first short film.

 I had previously learned the craft, rather crash-course inside a few days, when making Love Notes and the Behind the Scenes during the Atomic Canary days…. 

The reason for this post, however, is that I’d like to call attention to @desalle artistry as a dancer and model. 

I’m lucky, also, to call her friend. We’ve posed together, grown up inside NYC- albeit never with enough time to do much than check in and do lunch and chat-whine about the subways because of the hectic pace the city throws its residents into satisfying…. 

Can we all just stand and applaud the artistry that is DeSalle aka ‘PandaJean’, as those of us close to her refer to her….. She is a true dancer. A true artist. 

Learning timing and translation of that timing against a piece of music, and the ability to mold art into a fourth dimension is what makes me sentimental my dance upbringing and brought with it  the utmost respect and confidence in how it shaped me as an artist- both in the sense of being able to be constantly translating others’ artforms, as well as being the foundation of my own work.

True dancers understand time, and what the repetition of time means. How each little push, pull and drag across the floor can-fluidly and ethereally, reveal with each incarnation of emotion through motion is a secret that any true dancer carries inside of her, whether there is the awareness thereof that intrinsic nature or not. This kind of connection in the multi-dimensional aspect of  your own art, and the ripple-effect each movement can have, can be translated at least sociologically into every other artform. 

Timing, and the pushing and pulling thereof is central to the entire concept of photography, and not limited to movement-based art forms. It can be just a four-dimensional as any performance artist. 

I had no idea what this film would turn into; that knowing her to be the closest person to the suddenly deceased mutual-best-friend, Rick Ochoa, could allow for me to channel through her my Future Self, editing and mourning; just days after we filmed this piece, we learned of Rick’s passing. 

What the editing process taught me inside of that emotional moment was that, as an artist I have a unique opportunity of being able to channel present, past and future-tense into something that later could be a visual definition of the overwhelming loss that we knew; Friendship is a bond of blood more true than that of family, at times, and as I edited, was aware of both the pain of my own loss, but what her loss also meant. 

I edited this film, through them, for him. 

(Photo above: Carly by Rick Ochoa circa 2013) 

That’s where the collaborative magic of art occurs. 

It’s inescapable as an artist- but truly magic to those of us who have danced, and respect timing, phrasing and the occasional awkward pause. 

To ‘not be alone’ is the crux and curse of humanity.

Male vs. female, cool vs. nerdy- our lives are presented with dualities…. sometimes those dualities can collide into something that is prescient in nature.

Explore, Experiment, Expand. Be the artist. Make the shots. 

Decide what they mean later- because if they didn’t have a deeper meaning when they were shot, they will- one day. It’s all a part of your story. 

Our story was all a part of his story. So naturally- they collided. 

Find your pattern. It’s there. You are merely speaking to yourself in a bit of a code- a trail of breadcrumbs, if you will. Shoot for you- not for your subject to unlock this hidden message; If you don’t like your work, neither will the subject of your work, so pleasing them becomes a mute point. 

Art your little heart out. 

And be patient; whether through your own achievements, or life’s way of testing us with seemingly-overwhelming obstacles….. you’re in there….. somewhere.

In Blue, in the clouds, in the sunbeams, in songs, in my dreams and on my desktop I see Rick. I feeeeeel Rick.  Had I not just crossed something off my “shot-list To Dos”, I would not have this piece above which brings him so near to me each time I see it. What then? 

Don’t eliminate the history of collaboration from Art. Everything you create- good or bad, is another piece of the tessellating life that is one of Artistic Expression. 

Sometimes all you have to do is just pick up the camera, and let the light guide you. Because there’s nothing left *to* do. (See above. Be patient.)