Quick question, how many times has Robert died in your AU! Immortal Robert?
I believe it's many times, and if so, how would Z-Team/Flambae react to finding out? (That is, if you haven't already answered this, of course)
Iām not sure about the exact number, but itās definitely high enough that he hasn't bothered to keep count for a while.
Iām thinking that a good amount of his deaths happened early on in his Mecha Man career, when he was still young and inexperienced. When he started to find his footing as a hero and learned how to fight smarter/dirtier, the frequency of his deaths eventually slowed, to the point where it wasnāt uncommon to spend a year or two without any deaths at all.Ā
But then Shroud broke out of prison, and Robert got increasingly more reckless the more the villain evaded him. His thought process began to shift. Suddenly, he found himself wondering, did it really matter how many times he died if he would always come back anyway? Yeah, it was terrifying and it hurt, but he was no stranger to fear, and what was a little pain compared to closure?Ā
He got careless, started taking more risks. Unnecessary risks. The deaths started racking up again, quicker than ever.Ā
There was a particularly dark point in time when he even stopped bothering to hide his power. He didnāt care who found him. The suit was barely holding on, and his inheritance had long run out. He couldnāt picture continuing on as he had beenādoing odd jobs, trying to scrape together enough money for cheap fixes that would fall apart in the next fight. He was hard pressed to plan any further into the future than catching Shroud and avenging his father.Ā
In the end, he got incredibly luckyādespite his carelessness, no one ever found out his secret. When he was blown out of the sky, his power healed the injury that killed him and left all the rest, leaving him in a coma for months.Ā
And then he got the job offer, and met his team, and started rebuilding his life and his hero career. And aside from that one disastrous bar fight and the event that blew his secret out of the water, he hasnāt died since.Ā
The Z-Team are various mixtures of horrified and furious when they eventually find out all of this, because itās immediately pretty obvious that 1, Robert wasāis?āpassively suicidal, and 2, he spent the better part of a year using death as a form of self-harm.Ā
Robert tries to argue that the suicidality is not a huge issue, since he canāt die anyway. He also tries to argue that the phrase āself-harmā is too strong a word.Ā
Obviously, that gets him yelled at by most of themāwhich he rolls his eyes atāand cried at by Waterboyāwhich he awkwardly panics overābut what really strikes a chord is the lecture from Coop. She bluntly points out exactly where Robert is wrong and how his apathy negatively affects the team, and her firm delivery of the facts actually leaves him feeling abashed.Ā
In the end, he agrees to try and work through it with an SDN-appointed therapist, just for their sake. In the meantime, the team move up their scheduled āmeet up at Robertās place to huddle around him under the pretense of watching a movieā by an entire week, and they spend the night eating take out and arguing over what movies to watch and touching Robert as if to reassure themselves heās still there. He thought theyād mostly gotten over their lingering trauma from his death, but it seems like that might not be the case.Ā
One person in particular sticks around after everyone else has left. Heās been uncharacteristically quiet the entire nightāhe didnāt even get in on the argument about whether Grease 2 was better than the first, which Robert knows damn well he has strong opinions on.Ā
The lights have been slowly turned off throughout the night, and now the only lamp still on is working overtime to brighten the room. Even in the dim light, though, Robert can see how stiffly the other manās holding himself.Ā
āYou didnāt get out of the way,ā Flambae says, his voice low and tense.Ā
āWhat?ā Robert asks, furrowing his brows.Ā
āWhen you said you were Mecha Man,ā Flambae bites, as if he can barely force the words out. āWhen I tried to set you on fire. You didnāt move. All you did was hold your arm out in front of you. As if that would do anything.āĀ
Robert says nothing, unsure what Flambaeās getting at.Ā
āWere you really going to let me fucking kill you?ā Flambae demands, eyes bright with anger and fear. āYou were just planning to let me live with that for the rest of my life?āĀ
And then he spins on his heel to face away from Robert, the wide line of his shoulders taut as a bowstring as his back heaves with heavy, angry breaths.Ā
And because Robert graduated with honors from Chaseās school of āWe joke, we laugh, we suppress our trauma,ā he canāt help saying dryly, āYou should be honoredāIāve never died by fire before. You couldāve had my first time.āĀ
āItās not fucking funny!ā Flambae snaps, swinging back around to face him again. Robert is horrified to see that his eyes are glassy and red.
He clenches his hands at his sides, unsure what to say or do in the face of Flambae's uncharacteristic vulnerability. He can do banter and pep talks all day, but this? This doesnāt come naturally to him. Heās not good at it.Ā
Flambae must catch on to his discomfort, because he roughly scrubs his hands across his face, clearing away any evidence of the tears. As if that will make Robert forget they were there.Ā
āI wasn't actually trying toāā Flambae breaks off, the words catching in his throat. His hands are still pressed over most of his face, but Robert can see his chin quiver just slightly as he says, āI didnāt want to.ā
āI know,ā Robert murmurs. He reaches up and draws Flambaeās hands away from his face, pulling them behind his own back and encouraging the man to hug him.Ā
Flambae immediately latches on, hunching down to bury his face in Robertās neck. Robert pats his back, and canāt help but feel that the motion is wrongātoo robotic, not human enough. Heās gotten used to Flambaeās clinginess these last several weeks, but it still feels strange to be the one reaching out first. He feels clumsy and incompetent.Ā
āI got out of the habit of dodging,ā he quietly confesses. If he speaks the words into his hair, he can pretend theyāll be lost among the thick black strands before they can reach his ears. āI just wasnāt thinking. It had nothing to do with you.āĀ
Flambaeās arms tighten around him. The small, shuddering breath he lets out wouldāve been inaudible to Robert if they werenāt pressed so close together.Ā
āYeah well,ā Flambae mutters after a moment, his voice hoarse, āfucking think about me next time, okay, bitch? Stupid fucking asshole.āĀ
Robert breathes a laugh, his hand smoothing down Flambaeās broad back. The motion feels a little more natural now. āOkay.ā