"Sweety, sweety, marry me!"

(intro + info below cut) 🍭 last update: 30/12/25 . ° ｡ ★

so, this is going to be a bit of a personal post, and i don't really... like to get personal on here? but i think i need to be personal here if i want to get my message across.

my mental health has been poor for pretty much as long as i can remember, but it's been especially bad since around september of last year. i've been a bit touch and go, some days i feel fine and then some days i'm not. at one point, it was bad enough that i ended up being hospitalised for an attempt. prior to said attempt, i cut off a lot of people because i didn't want to make them sad, and even though i obviously ended up being "fine", at that point i became very paranoid that people would be angry and upset with me (which, they would be right to do so). this incident particularly has left me a bit of a wreck, and...

i've realised that it's not fair on you guys for me to be running this blog as said wreck. if it makes sense? like, i don't ever seem to have anything fun to talk about on here, i have to think pretty hard for happy things to post. a lot of the time i end up posting these awful, very heavy and very personal vents that i end up deleting, and i don't think it's fair to drop that on you guys. this is a personal blog, yes, but people are mostly here for me talking about fandom stuff. i'm sure people aren't here for cries for help.

i don't think i'm necessarily going to abandon the blog. ideally i want a hiatus that ends when i'm in a more stable position in life, and hopefully that will be before canto 10 comes out because i want to talk with you all about it like usual, since i missed out on doing that for canto 9 thanks to, again, my Abysmal Mental Illness. i have really missed you all. please don't worry about me though, this isn't a suicide note or anything. my IRLs are aware of the situation and they can keep an eye on me if i get bad enough. /gen

i'll still try to keep in contact with my friends. if anyone who i cut off in october (i think? sorry, my memories of that period are really hazy...) would like to reconnect, i would be happy to, but please don't feel like you're obligated to either. i understand if anyone is upset with me for suddenly disappearing like that and to be frank i'm upset at myself for it too. it was selfish of me, even if i wasn't in the right state of mind at the time. i apologise a lot for that whole thing. if you don't want to reach out, i do still hope you're doing well. you've all been very good to me even though i'm a bit of a wet blanket 😓😓 and i want that good to come back to you

so umm. yeah i don't, know how to end this sorry? but yeah, temporary hiatus. any projects i'm working on will be shelved until i'm well enough to work on them again, nothing is cancelled though. and again, i'll hopefully be back soon! i just need to take some time to myself, maybe a change of meds or going back into therapy, i'm not sure yet, plus i'm coming up on a couple weeks clean and i want to focus on that. also, even though i've been struggling with this my whole life it does tend to come in waves, so i don't think i'll be gone too long. i might reblog projects owned or worked on by my friends too for the sake of supporting them - for example, webtrapped. (please check out webtrapped)

to the people following this blog, thank you for being kind to me and sticking with me. i promise that when i'm back it'll be much more lighthearted around here. make sure to take some time to yourselves too, look after your brains. goodnight 💛 i'll see you all later

just saw the teaser video for the new intervallo (or i guess canto 9.5 ... wharever) and holy FUCK am i excited to pick meursaults brain

-vic (he/it/glow/chem)

i got my neural scans and nervous system placed into a state-of-the-art cybernetic shell, was stripped of my identity, placed onto a spaceship and, upon landing, forced to play the role of an alien planet's holy geopolitical guardian for thousands and thousands of years to the point of forgetting my own voice and all i got was this cool novelty shirt

-vic (he/it/glow/chem)

had dream that canto 10 came out but instead of it being meursaults canto it was uni cornelius from sparklecare hospitals canto instead Like she had just . completely replaced him . everyone was acting like she was always there . she wasnt even in a sinner uniform And for some reason dantes dialogue worked kind of like a VN where you can pick what you say and i was like "wait .... wheres meursault" and all the sinner sprites just started staring at me until i woke up in a cold sweat nauseous as fuck

-jones (it/they/he/xe)