Jan 7, 2024
I thought deeply, deeply, over my own attitude of the bystander which has been with me since I was born. I possess no incurable illness. Yet I am one fated since birth to be a bystander. From the time when I first began to play with other children, and even when I grew to adulthood and made my way in the world, and with every kind of person in society, I have never been able to throw myself into the whirlpool and enjoy myself to the depths of my being, no matter what kind of excitement may have stirred in me.
Mori Ōgai, “Ghost Stories” from Youth and Other Stories
#this speaks to my soul in an almost painful way#as if suddenly the strange emptiness i've felt all my life were given description#and so it's suddenly fine because someone else described that specific feeling of being an outsider#someone who left a legacy nonetheless#it's just... validating#viridian.txt
