𝙸𝚁𝙾𝙽 𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽.

      there’s something about red’s affirmation of quỳnh’s heroics that almost makes her laugh ;    but it spreads a warmth in her lungs too .      they scrape like sandpaper when she breathes still ,   but for a split second they’re whole again ,   inhaling full fresh air .      HERO .      &  it almost angers her ,   ALMOST .      as if she hadn’t done enough villainy to be considered the opposite ,   as if she just wasn’t enough at all .      but it was like landing on a full feather pillow ,   on a soft resting ground after sleeping in metal for so long .      a kindness quỳnh feels she should not be afforded .      (  her mind isn’t changed .      she just softens for red .  )       “ we will what we believe to be true . ”      ambiguity spoken into the distance before her eyes lock onto red’s .      “ your APOLOGY is appreciated ,   but not necessary .      you have always been clear as day to me . ” 

      “ you’re BLEEDING ,   my heart . ”      oh double meaning ,   but lead the thought astray .      a glance down to andromache’s palms ,   the crimson matching quỳnh’s coat .      she’s sick of it ,   she’ll admit ;    this conversation is BORING her .      she’s had it in her head a million times between a million more deaths ,    &  nothing about it is particularly invigorating anymore .      call it love ,   call it annoyance ,   but there’s something about andromache’s hurt  &  rage that STINGS quỳnh deep to the core .      as if her emotions surfaced later than her corpse did .      as if she’s only now just waking up .      (  she’s waiting for those palm wounds to heal .  )       “ speaking of ,   how are nicolò  &  yusuf ? ”      tone pushed with a monotone vacancy ,   not for lack of caring but for distractedness ;    her eyes keep flickering to andromache’s palms . 

      quỳnh remembered what this was like .      she knew how this story ended .      she fights alongside the others  &  she eventually bears the weight of the worst human kind has to offer ,   she gets captured ,   she gets drowned .      there’s a dark thought flickering across her mind that she’s foolish to repeat the past ;    but the sight of andromache jump-starts her heart again .       she looks like an angel ,   quỳnh thinks ,   that sun halo around her body .      “ you’re a fighter ,   now get up  &  fight ! ”       it was strange ,   how that was all it took .      the sight of andromache to make her realize that this fight was much bigger than herself or a repetition of history .      this is for andromache ,   for all the years spent drowning because of humanity’s selfishness .      this is a scream from the rooftops that YOU CAN’T BREAK ME ,   WORLD             you can bring your worst upon me ,   drown me for centuries on end ,   but you cannot break my love .      it will always come back ,   she will always bring it back .      so she stands .   she unsheathes her sword .       YOU  &  ME .      UNTIL THE END .

      there is so little left of her .      boiled down to BARE INSTINCT ,   the muscle memory  &  the violence so deeply ingrained in her that it survived millions of drownings .      andromache had stopped looking .      this is not a question of ‘if’ but a question of ‘how much’ .       &  her eyes catch andromache’s necklace ,   spotlighted in that late afternoon sun ,    &  her heart ALMOST mellows for a second .      after all this time ,   she had kept quỳnh so close to her heart .      an attribution ,   a plea ,   a cry of love .      a gift from centuries past .      but the woman who gave her that necklace sank long ago .       “ of course i do ,   my heart . ”

      of course she did ;   she had crossbow bolts collecting dust across the globe ,   bows  &  quivers in locked boxes in the shadows ,   but all her memories are tainted with anger .      because truthfully all that she had left was the violence of it all ;    this consistency that shaped her was brutal  &  COLD .      the muscle memory of the fight is all that remains ,   even the token glinting around andromache’s neck loses meaning after a couple million drownings .       “ you learn to EMBRACE THE PAIN until it is all you have left . ”      not family ,   not friendship ,   not even memory is safe .

      there’s an almost solemn nod ,   an assumed solidarity between the two .      both left and abandoned in dust  &  water ,   a solitude insurmountable .      in some ways they differ ,   in the seemed drowner  &  drownee ,   in that sliding scale of abandonment that PLAGUES their eternalities ,   but there is this  near - pity  that lies at the base of her spine for sylvester .      she has seen this loss before .       “ how will they discover it ,   sylvester ?      her ? ”      a glance towards the door ,   to the girl somewhere outside of it .      an unspoken promise that quỳnh will not speak a word of this to anyone ,   if anyone ever spoke to her again .      still ,   the promise stands ;    it is a DEEP BURDEN to carry ,   in an existence such as hers ,   to take words to the grave .

quỳnh of the old guard. as surfaced by eleanor.

     she’s almost surprised by red’s kindness .   it wasn’t the same caliber ,   but red had drowned with her in part ,   hadn’t she ?      &  red had been quỳnh’s own window out into the world ,   periodic flashes of    italy  &  england  &  france ;    a remembrance of what life used to be ,   a foresight into what it was quickly becoming .      a key to become darker ,   angrier ,   brim - filled  with violence .      “ i had centuries of consideration .      no one cared to ask me of it then . ”      a pause ,   eyes moving to meet red’s.      “ i already suffered for my sins .      HAVE YOU ? ”