blooming flowers

My brother got his PhD and this is what he is proud of

Please stop complaining about people’s thick accents. They learned an entire language, allowing them to communicate with you; the least you could do is respect that.

this one time we were all over at a friends flat and got wasted and i mean like really completely wasted and when we woke up the next day there stood a fucking ikea shelve in the middle of the room my friend had bought it half a year before but never had the motivation to build it so apparently during that night we built an ikea shelf and to this day none of us can remember doing so

Nature; the most beautiful and serene is often the most ruthless and destructive

The cable people are here and I keep offering them waffles and they look concerned and I should not be an adult

“Mam you do not need to feed us” IM SORRY ITS ALL I KNOW

My parents didn’t ever actually teach how to adult. The only things I learned were to hoard plastic bags within plastic bags and that whenever there is a person in your house you feed them

*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin