SUMMARY: sevika is forced to confront an unwelcome truth
WARNINGS: season 1 sevika, light angst, established relationship, allusions to sex, nudity (sevika & reader), no mention of readerâs physical description, able-bodied reader, mentions of hypothetical death/sacrifice, smoking (sevika & reader, what are they smoking? whatever you want), bad grammar, âproofreadâ (i skimmed over it sleepily), written out of the need to get out of my writerâs block, inspired by this post
(I do not consent to my work being published/translated elsewhere or used for ai chat boxes.)
âDone?â Sevika chuckles hoarsely as you collapse beside her, naked chest heaving as you try to catch your breath.
You manage something of a grin before giving her your back. âFor nowâŚâ you hum, turning onto your stomach without hesitation. Sevika snickers and runs her right hand down your back, squeezing in approval when sheâs met with the sweaty flesh.
Time passes in silence. If thereâs a shift to be found, Sevika doesnât notice. She turns towards you, heat coursing through her again as her mouth grazes your skin.
âI would die for you.â
Sevika stops where sheâs peppering kisses along your shoulders, raising her head to look at your face. Your cheek is pressed against your pillow, a thoughtful frown creasing your mouth as you stare at the window across from you. She stares at you, waiting for you to continue, swallowing thickly when you donât. She lowers herself on top of you, lips finding your cheekbone as her bare breasts press into your back.
âDonât need you to be dramatic,â she replies gruffly, trying to be as nonchalant as possible as she kisses any available skin. âYou know I donât need that sappy shit with my dirty talk.â Her affections are disrupted when you shake your head.
She sighs and tucks her face into the crook of your neck, inhaling the smell of sweat from your skin. She strays for a moment before completely detaching herself, moving to sit up on her side of the bed and reaching for the blunt on the nightstand. She slips it between her teeth and strikes a match, cheeks hollowing for a split second until the end lights.
She takes a long draw before finally looking back over at you, noticing that youâve turned to face her. Her brow perks before her hand finds your thigh, hitching it over her lap. âWhatâs going on with you, hm? Thought we were having fun.â
She meets your gaze through the smoke and welcomes you without a word when you scoot into her side. âI would die for you,â you repeat, quieter but much more decided than the first time. It makes Sevika pause, the truth in your declaration plain to hear. It makes her nervous.
âI donât need you to,â she says slowly, nose scrunching when a too-thick string of smoke catches near the back of her nostril.
âI know.â
âThen why you offering?â
âIâm not offering,â you huff which in turn makes Sevika grimace. âIâm just saying I would.â Your leg slides off her lap as she leans forward, hunching over herself.
âItâs a shit way of thinking,â she grunts, offering you the blunt after taking another hit for herself.
You copy her example and sit up. âWell, itâs the truth,â you sigh, lips closing around the blunt. âYou have Zaun, I have you.â
Sevikaâs eyebrows furrow as she turns her head to you, loose hair brushing her shoulders. âYouâre not making sense.â
Another sigh before youâre perching your chin on her shoulder. A beat of silence passes between you as you trade turns on the blunt, passing back and forth until only an inch is left. You curl your arms around her waist, wordlessly signaling youâre done, and press closer.
âIâm just saying, youâd do anything for Zaun.â You shrug. âYouâd give up your life for it. Every day is already a risk, but you stay ready to pay for it⌠For me, youâre my Zaun.â
Sevika is silent for a moment, turning your words over in her head before snuffing out the cherry of the blunt. She doesnât look at you, doesnât feel like she can. âSaying I donât care about you?â It hurts to think, but she needs to know.
You shake your head, no hesitation, but there still seems to be a lingering melancholy. âI know you care,â you murmur, thumb stroking down her navel. âBut I also know how important Zaun is to you⌠If it was between me and Zaun, itâd be Zaun.â
You kiss her shoulder. âIâve made my peace with it.â
Sevika opens her mouth to speak, straightening her back. She feels your breath cut short, expectant. But when the seam of her lips parts, nothing comes out. She racks her mind for something to say, anything at all, but eventually, she shuts her mouth and slumps into herself. A moment of silence passes before she finally feels your breath hit her bicep â a weak, trembling thing.
Neither of you says anything because what else is there to say?
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âhappiness is so hard to come by. I donât understand why anyone would begrudge anyone else for managing to find some of it.â âthatâs because youâre too good for the world you love so muchâ
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i don't know if anyone is gonna see this lol, but i really wanted a lesbian the pitt community đ us lesbians need to get together in this fandom fr, I can't take searching for my favorite girlies and all I see is their famous ship with a man
actually fuck her. not in the dirty way santos would love to fuck that woman. like screw her forever. shit, she wasnât being clear.
garcia and her were done.
it was just one too many days left on read, one too many consults where the woman was dismissive, one too many denied hookups. trinity had to call it. she couldnât let herself keep getting caught up in things that were bad for her. as much as she loathed to admit it, the whole doomed lesbian situationship with a hyper-competent older woman was just something she couldnât handle.
so here she was, at crashâs 21st birthday party, unable to drown her sorrows without all her coworkers knowing something was up. god forbid a girl be a little emotionally radioactive around these empathetic geiger meters. she couldâve gone into radiology or pathology with the other avoidant people but no!
crash was being weird. it was her birthday, an important birthday, the birthday that allowed her to drink freely in public, and she was nursing her second drink like a soccer mom at an applebees who had to go pick up the kids after.
trinity could accept that though, at least crash wouldnât ask why she was so huffy like princess did.
so trinity sat next to victoria who was at the booth with all their bags and jackets. they barely acknowledged each other which was boring. trinity wanted to get out of her head.
ânot feeling very âgirls gone wildâ tonight, young sheldon?â trinity took a sip of her overpriced hard seltzer. it was tough when you only trusted sealed drinks.
âdonât call me that,â victoria snapped. when trinity honest to god flinched back, the girl softened a touch. âsorry, iâm justâŚbirthdays suck.â
trinity teased, âaww, did no one come yours when you were eight?â victoria looked away sadly. ashamed. god, trinity felt like a dick. her voice warmer when she continued, âhey, fuck all those people.â
victoria rolled her eyes and settled them on the dusty dark ceiling. âi donât know why i thought he would come. iâm so delusional!â she attempted a smile, but it was brittle.
âwho?â
âmatteo,â victoria replied. âiâm not even that into him anymore, i just thought-i donât even actually know what i thought would happen.â
the next song that played was a little louder, so trinity scooted a closer and lowered her mouth to the girls ear. âyou wanted to start off your year with a bang. nothing wrong with that.â
victoria glared at trinityâs flippant tone, âyou wouldnât get it. iâm-i had some plans.â
trinity really laughed at that. her bratty, big eyes. the naive idea you could ever really count on someone else to fulfill your girlish fantasies. âafraid youâll have to swipe that v card somewhere else then, my dear.â trinity kept grinning down at her. victoria was pretty like this, all frustrated with her hair down.
and one and a half dirty shirleyâs really was enough to loosen her up because victoria cocked a brow and cockliy asked, âyou offering to hate fuck me or something?â
it was a joke, obviously. but it was the type of joke that had an underlying truth to it. the type of joke that was more about feeling out a boundary.
âi donât hate you. iâd make it nice.â
so they slipped out a side door that probably ought to have an alarm attached to it. after so many nights of being underneath garcia, being tutted at and pulled like a puppet on strings, man was it nice to press a girl up against a wall and feel her go pliant.
victoria was a surprisingly good kisser. probably practiced on her had or something. trinity catalogued the joke for later. she quickly started grabbing at trinityâs hips desperately, clenching her thighs together in such an obvious way. little mewls fell between them and trinity felt sure she wasnât making them.
âmy place is a ten minute walk. dennis is staying at robbyâs,â trinity casual whispered into victorias neck.
âwait, why is dennis-â
trinity interrupted, âyou really wanna talk about dennis right now. because i can think of a lot more fun things to do with our mouths.â
âoh wow. yes, ok,â victoria sort of stammered.
yeah, trinity could get used to this. it might even be good for her.
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"ela sabia o que os românticos falavam sobre beijos: que com as pessoas certas eram como um encontro de almas, um fósforo aceso num palheiro. atÊ aquele segundo, ela nunca tivera razþes para acreditar."
It's almost laughable what the internet and very young queer people have done to the words butch and especially femme. I think I could go on for hours and hours on how important that little yet huge letter "e" is at the end of the word. People have turned this special term into something so superficial and tedious. To them "femme" simply means hyperfeminine. It's sweet, pink, docile, delicate, soft, submissive. Which of course, certain femmes actually do identity with those words but little do these people know or understand is that to be femme is to be just as hard and aggressive as what they see being butch is. It's in gesture, in stature, in autonomy, in courage, in love that is so deep and true for other butches and fellow femme sisters. Femme is something inherently erotic and so sensual. Our history literally shows that femmes used their physical privilege to protect and stand up for butches, femmes were the ones who would go out and work due to the fact that people would not hire such masculine presenting women. In conclusion, to be femme is to be beautiful and lovely but it's also to use your fucking voice and know who and what came before us.
âhappiness is so hard to come by. I donât understand why anyone would begrudge anyone else for managing to find some of it.â âthatâs because youâre too good for the world you love so muchâ
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