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@vintagecinnamonball

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Hi besties, so it’s yap time. I was reading Fool me twice by Nona Uppal (I couldn’t find this book on tumblr, anyways), after reading the blurb I was convinced that I am going to imagine myself as the MC (Sana) whose boyfriend dies (hope nothing of this sorts ever happen to me), but her bf moved to another continent to study and smh she ended up at the same course as me so I was convinced that it’s a sign. Now the person I am trying to get over has ofc not died, hope that never happens like ever (cause I am still in love, even if I wasn’t- love him too much to ever wish something untoward to happen to him like ever) okay so what fuckall selfishry have I concocted. Anyways as per the blurb she moves on and finds love again- this is the goldmine- want this to happen to me. Universe please help.
Anyways please don’t ever hand me books, I take the task too seriously.
P.S I don’t wish anything bad to happen to anyone I am just tortured to my stomach, I want to just never think of this person again. Byeee
I tried to make it sound pretty,
I cut words out of my throat and drew wreaths of flowers on them.
I wanted to make those 48 hours move in slow- mo for the whole world to see.
You see, airports have always felt like home, I guess this is why I cried the last time.
I could see where I lost your hand, but when I reached out to hold it back
the clock had already striked noon,
I do knock on your door, from time to time, there was so much left to say
But I no longer have the energy to knock anymore.
My throat’s parched, conscience dehydrated, and self respect broke her spine along the way.
So as the clock strikes 2 again, I close the book and walk away.
fin.
P.S. Thank you for being who you were to me, thank you for making me feel love if that’s what it was. I know this can never possibly reach you, I was still holding a candle, just in case. But I can’t anymore. Adios. You’ll still live through our shared Spotify playlist, the songs we shared, poetry on my main.
Two people who get demolished,
when love stands on their doormat and are just about to ring the bell but the tortured poet has already looked through the key hole and killed themselves so when the bell rings, the love echoes through the home but no one listens
- me and Richard Siken
I’M 35 CHAPTERS INTO THE STRIKER AND AHHH ASHER DONOVAN IS MY NEW BOOK BOYFRIEND 😭 HE’S SO SWEET AND THOUGHTFUL AND IM KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING ANYTIME HE DOES SOMETHING SWEET

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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just finished the striker!! Someone get me Asher Donovan on the line ASAP‼️
"Damn, he’s an Aries. The thots of the zodiac."
–Tia Williams, Seven Days in June
— Seven Days In June by Tia Williams
Believing in fate a lil more each day, bcs. as much as my life sucks the universe always send a guardian angel to help me get out of something or just simply vent 😭 Grateful.
Just an update, nope I was wrong as usual. Fuck you universe
It’s devastating. Believing that you’re someone and losing them in a blink of your eye. It’s devastating not knowing.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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anyone else destroying and betraying themselves for nothing 🤣
Haramacy
Haramacy is a “love letter to the diaspora”(Sultan, 2022) containing stories and essays from the Middle Eastern and South Asian diaspora. Curated by Zahed Sultan, British Kuwaiti-Indian multimedia artist who advocates for connection and representation. Sultan is most well known for his live stage music productions and his same titled project “Haramacy” which aims to create a community for those voices that have not been represented in the media.
One of the chapters I liked the most is “Gary is not my Name” by Dhruva Balram. In this chapter, Balram narrates his experiences of moving to Canada from India at a young age and the struggles of not feeling like he belongs in the respective countries. The title of the chapter is named after a circumstance where his English teacher could not be bothered to learn his name so he designated him a typical English name.
In order to feel accepted by his peers he woul exaggerate stories of India. Balram created a hyperreality (Baudrillard,1981), where he couldn’t separate fiction from real events to comfort himself from feeling othered. The feelings of hopelessness and loneliness started to disappear as he discovered artists who represented what life was like being torn between two cultures, like HateCopy.
Balram emphasises in this chapter that individuals should reclaim their heritage and be proud. Diasporic identities are “forced to remedy curiosity before remediating their own” (Chew-Bose, 2017) when they are asked questions about their identity. The feeling of restlessness for the next generation can be soothed by the creative industry producing authentic work about their heritage and diaspora.
Baudrillard, J, 1981, Simulacra and Simulation, Semiotext
Sultan, Z, 2022 Haramacy, Unbound
Chew-Bose, D, 2017, Too Much and Not in the Mood: Essays, Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
need to write a disco elysium fic because last night i had a dream from kim's perspective and vividly remember hearing one of the skills say "you aren't in love, you're in revachol"
Believing in fate a lil more each day, bcs. as much as my life sucks the universe always send a guardian angel to help me get out of something or just simply vent 😭 Grateful.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"everybody experiences that" says mother who has the same symptom of the same mental illness