Carpe Diem

yang belum mampu mendayung di lautan dalam.

I felt like my heart can explode anytime. This pain, i wish it can disappear. This unbearable pain, i wish it gone. Please.

Pada waktu kita tidak berharta, pada waktu kita tidak berduit, pada waktu kita masih berjihad, aku mengingatkan diriku untuk tidak mempunyai perasaan kedekut. Hal ini kerana kita menuju destinasi yang sama. Pada waktu kita belum berstatus, pada waktu kita belum kaya, pada waktu hidup kita belum senang, aku mengingatkan diriku, bersedekahlah. Kita bersedekah bukan pada masa kita senang, tapi pada masa kita susah lagi. Dan ia bermula dari sekarang.

Been to one to one catch-up session with my friends since last week and it was unplanned, impromptu meetup. It was nice. Been talking about various things, from daily life to whats happening around the world, it was good.

To open up is a big step for me. I might start late in my venture towards my dream. I’m still holding on to “if later i found what i want to do, i don’t want it to be stopped just because i don’t work hard enough at the moment” when everyone is already on their path. I still on my venture finding what i’m great at, it takes years, I guess. But in return, God has replaced my frustation by letting me crossed paths with people from different walks of life. It made me learn so much from them. Danke!

I do actually a morning person. No matter how much I deny, i actually love a productive morning. Wake up early in the morning, do nothing specific, everything is spontaneous. Not to forget, a breakfast too. Simple one. It is not about the breakfast but the interaction with people. People need people. Get off the bed, sip some hot drink, and talk. A more spontaneous to help the day walking the good, positive vibes. Rather than, locking your eyes to some electronic device. Or perhaps I could start a new hobby to finish a chapter every morning. Cool then.

Watching tv shows or dramas or movies is an escape from reality. It feels good sometimes. It is better than having a punch in your face and swollen eyes to wake up to. That escape might be a mere distraction but there are times it made me feel that I need to escape all the times. Paranoid, I say. It is a good distraction to hide my emotions from people when it is hard sometimes. Thanks distraction.

I love beautiful writer. The aesthetic writing. How it flows like a river in winter. Unfrozen from the icy, windy to freeze until the heart explode into snowflakes. You read, you swim, you giggles, you smile just from the imagining that sketch in your mind of that one reading.

Acting indifferent with people too, I might act the same way too. I try to silent myself from everyone, but little did they know, they realize that../to be continued/