CAAAARRRRLLLL! NO!

I Hate It When Stores Do That

Haikus are so easy

Five, seven, five. Ha! A breeze

It's almost too easy...

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And that concerns me

If something is this easy

Then there is a catch...

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I mean, come on man!

Are they supposed to rhyme too?

If so, well then... Damn

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Maybe I'm just nuts

And I'm over thinking this

But what if I'm not?

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Well then I look dumb

And feel like a huge jackass

Ah well, whatever.

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I think I'll stop now

I have something to tell you

I need you to help me

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I need more good jokes

I'm running out of good ones

And would like the help

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If you do, thank you

If not, well, I tried didn't I?

The List needs to grow

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If you're still reading

Why? That's it. I'm done. No more.

I'll see you later

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No Really, If You Could, Please Send A Joke My Way

Why are you late?

Because I’m not early

If we can drink drinks, can we food foods?

I will kill you until you die to death

They say I’m a rapist and a recluse. I’m here to tell you, I am not a recluse

Where is the specific ocean?

You’ll need to be more pacific

Don’t call them blackberries, call them African American berries. You need to be politically correct

Why does Waldo wear stripes

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted

What do you call a snobbish criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending

If two vegetarians have an argument, is it still considered beef?

Rhinos are just really buff unicorns

Did you sit on a pile of sugar? Cuz you’ve got a sweet ass

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got a gun, now get in my fucking van!

Childhood ruined?

Or adulthood enriched?

MLG- Multiple Layers of Green (Shrek)

If your right leg is November and your left is December, can I come in between the holidays?

Let’s play a game, you’ll be McDonalds and I’ll be Burger King. I’ll do it my way and you’ll be loving it

If you are what you eat, then are cannibals the only true humans?

Call of Doge: Modern Wowfare

You know what you are, you’re ugly as Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium

Ebola pick-up line: When I first met you, my heart melted, then my liver, then my small intestines

Face Down, Ass Up That’s The Way I tie my shoes

The next sentence is a lie

The last sentence was the truth

On a scale of one to America, how free are you?

Cuba

A masochist and a sadist are having sex, the masochist screams “Hurt Me!” The sadist grins evilly and says “No”

If I illegally download The Pirates of the Caribbean while on a pirate ship in the middle of the Caribbean, am I a PIirate of The Pirates of the Caribbean in the Caribbean?

I didn’t trip, I just body slammed the ground

The first says 'We should find a cat'

The second says 'We should set it on fire!'

The third says 'We should beat the shit out of it till it's near death'