I GOT FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES @vicetested - Tumblr Blog

razorwiring-deactivated20250616

should make lawrence go dig me up. see what’s in there.

:(

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Al and I remain a deadly duo in the kitchen. If it wasn’t for the divorce we could have our own daring international cooking competition.

#ic

Good morning. I need to start packing but instead I’m laying like a dead fish staring at my phone.

#ic

I close my medicine cabinet door (you’ve seen movies) and Amanda’s there behind me and I just sigh.

#ic

razorwiring-deactivated20250616

going to get around to breaking into doctor gordon’s place sometime and making him diagnose me with something

vicetested

I diagnose you with stop breaking my goddamn windows.

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Oohhhh, oohhhh, ohhhhh. There was a knock on my door, I opened it, revolver at the ready, and guess what was stuck in the doorframe!

#ic

Another perfect omelette, Doctor Gordon.

#ic

Rambo won’t take his goddamn pills. I’ve been following him with the pill shooter all morning and he is so much faster than me.

#ic

@spiiderwiick It’s simmering...

#spiiderwiick #ic

@bedinspector: yum,

Finally I’m appreciated.

#ic #bedinspector

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@razorwiring: what the hell kind of macaroni are you making you fucking freak

Gordon Ramsey doesn’t think I’m a freak.

#ic #razorwiring

@razorwiring: sounds like something a guy who fucked up some macaroni would say.

Amanda. I am working. With very delicate ingredients. Oyster mushrooms. Fontina cheese.

#razorwiring #ic

It’s just macaroni, how complicated could it be.

#ic

@egoterrorism: fake one. they’re LARPing.

Oh, I see. I don’t know what that means.

#egoterrorism #ic

What country do these people even live in.

#ic

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“Thank you, Doctor Gordon” I say as I remember that I bought breakfast potatoes as a little treat for myself.

#ic

warcrimesimulator

Striped hyenas

Mammals of the Soviet Union, 1988

Illustration by A. M. Komarov

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I GOT FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES