Victor Criss

1. Who’s the little shit givin’ ya guff? 2. Get me the fuck outta this Disney-ass shithole. I’ll take jail again.

And here we are, the man of the hour! Didn’t even have to go far to find ya, Hen. Thank fuck for that. Don’t worry about those gnats, ya know I can hold my own. They clearly can’t, though- gives me a leg up, automatically. Maybe they’ll be smart enough to see that, maybe they won’t. Either way, more fun for me. Now, now, I don’t know I’d say this might be just a little better. Maybe. At least in jail, people know when to shut their mouths, and when they’re beat. At least the food’s better here though, huh? 

Wow. You’re an ass. 

Well would’ya look at that? Seems someone called in some reinforcements. Geeze, I didn’t know one little comment would get me all this attention. I must be some kinda VIP. That’s pretty par for the course, though, so I’m real glad you both fell right in line. For reference, though, I am! In fact I’m pretty positive I said that already. I like to do a little thing called ‘being honest with myself’. Maybe you and Butthead should give it a try sometime, Beavis.

Considering the look of me? That’s what made you think this place isn’t any fun? What an ass.

Well then. Wish I could say it were nice to meet you, but by the look of what you just said, it definitely wasn’t. Have a wonderful day.

Sensitive much? It seems my initial assessment was right, then. Don’t you worry about it, Champ. I most definitely will. The party goes wherever I do. If ya find the time to pull her head outta your ass, let me know. 

Hi! I’m Blaine Anderson, submissive. You are? I haven’t come across any “mean lookin’ dudes” but I’ll keep an eye out, and keep this helpful advice in mind. I do hope you find who you’re looking for though. For now, I could offer you a tour of campus? Or maybe a cookie?

Well would’ya look at that! A whole welcoming committee, party of one. I am, last I checked. Guess you’re probably askin’ for my name, but I’m a smartass so you get what you get. To answer that question, though, the name’s Vic Criss. Yeah, you’ll know him when ya see him, I guarantee that. I’d ask if there’s anything fun to do around this piece but, uh, considerin’ the look of you, I’ll bet that’s a no.