Sith!reader x Obiwan, Ahsoka, Kix, Grievous (NON romantic for all of them) gn!reader
Blood and Marrow šŖš¢
Warnings: Needles, improper conditions for prisoners, bone marrow stealing, surgery without anesthetic, torture essentially, kidnapping, in-world curse word, parental death, ivās
Gn!reader, teen!reader, Rex x reader, Kix x reader (both platonic)
To Be Held šŖš¢
Warnings: Angst, blood, and wounds
Gn!reader, Tech x reader (romantic [ig it could be read as platonic?])
Marvel
Rats š¢šŖ Part 2 š¢āļø
Warnings: dehumanization, torture, electrocution, unethical experiments, Hydra trash party
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I just finished watching Interview With the Vampire, and I had an idea for the very beginnings of the series.
Characters: Claudia, Louis, Lestat, Reader
Word count: 1,144
Warnings: Burns, torture, bloodlust, the loneliness of an immortal
The streets of New Orleans at night were not a great place for a teenager to be meandering alone. You were, however, more than capable of caring for yourself. You'd been doing it for countless years, and that's not just a figure of speech. You had been born in the late 1300s. After a terrible plague swept through your village, killing almost everyone, you had gained immortality and eternal youth.
No, a vampire had not turned youāyou had absolutely zero problems going out in the sunshine and your bloodlust was virtually nonexistentābut you had been brought back from the brink of death by a non-human being. Your creator didn't stick around, but did teach you the basics of your new life.
You'd gone searching for others like you, so far without luck. You'd encountered a few different non-human beings, none quite like you. Perhaps you and your makerāif they were still aroundāwere the only ones of your kind. It could have made you sad, and yes, some days the longing in your chest for someone who knew you, truly understood you on a fundamentally different level than what words can express, sometimes it would become overwhelming, and you would cry at the bottom of a lake or climb to the highest point of whatever city you happened to be in to gaze down at the small, short lives of humans until the sun set.
When night fell, however, you were rarely lonely. Immortal (or at least un-aging) beings tend to migrate towards one another. It's not that you went in search of them, nor they for you, but rather some sort of magnetic force pulled your lives into range, the orbits of your existences warped slightly to make the planets collide.
That is why, when a girl, in a body no more aged than your own, stalked you into a quiet alleyway, you only smiled to yourself. You pivoted on your heel, and turned to face her, still smiling pleasantly.
"Why hello there," you said, without moving your lips. Rather, you projected your thoughts so that any nearby vampires could hear. This one, the girl, must have been very new, or she had no qualms about eating something no longer human. She did not respond to your greeting, instead she advanced and leapt at you, fangs bared!
"Wait," you nearly screamed as you brought your arms up to protect your neck. "Stop! This is dangerous to you! You will die if you drink from me!"
You rolled and wrestled on the ground for a moment, bloodlust and hunger kept the girl from realizing that a human would not be able to fight a vampire.
"Claudia!" a man shouted, sounding more relieved than surprised to see her grappling with you. The girl, presumably Claudia, snapped her head in the voice's direction for a moment, before returning to the fight.
"Have some sense, girl!" another man shouted.
The two men came forward and dragged her off you.
"Apologies," one of them stepped forward and offered a hand. "My name is Monsieur Lioncourt. This is my companion Louis de Pointe Du Lac. You've already had the misfortune of meeting our young Miss Claudia."
Simply to spite his smug self-assuredness, you got up on your own, brushing gravel off your palms and turned towards your assailant. By now she had calmed, and was obstinately demanding to know why she couldn't drain youā"Are they a vampire?" "Did they drink poison?" "Blood cancer?".
"I hope I didn't hurt you, Miss Claudia," you said, breaking into her one-sided conversation with Mr. Du Lac. "Though, our tussle was quiteā¦ enjoyable."
"Your eyes," Louis said. "They're not quiteā¦"
"Vampyric?" you filled in. "That would be because I am not one of you. Not quite."
"Then, my dear," Lioncourt's sickly sweet voice filled the alley. "What, exactly, are you?"
"A demonstration may be more educational than my recited history."
You pulled a small switchblade from your pocket and held it to the side of your palm. With the smallest amount of pressure possible, you pressed the very tip into your skin. As expected, Claudia leaned in with interest as the drop of red blood seeped out.
With the blood-drop came a shaft of light, which you aimed carefully downwards, away from the three vampires leaning in. The air seemed to warm a degree or two, and the whole alley grew a shade lighter. It was sunlight from a summer's afternoon, filtered through leaves, but bright as ever. Small flurries of dust were caught in the light as it streamed to the ground.
Monsieur Lioncourt's brows furrowed.
"Is thatā¦?"
"Yes," you said, smiling down at your hand.
"Ha," he said, regaining his air of superiority. "An interesting parlor trick."
"Would you like to test it?"
You projected an image to his mind, one of the most gruesome sights you'd ever seen.
A vampire had been caught back in 1650s Siberia. She was subjected to the harsh northern sun, but never for long enough to kill her. The villagers had figured out that they could walk her to the brink of death, then return her to a coffin to heal, then put her in the sun once more, over and over again. They did this publicly, "a deterrent," they had called it.
Taking pity on her, you snuck to the coffin in the middle of the night, woke her just enough to ask if she wanted the torture to end. Before you could finish the sentence, she was begging. You had seated yourself in her coffin, cradling her head on your lap, and fed her a few drops of your sunshine, murmuring words of reassurance and stroking the crown of her head as she died. The smell of her charred body still stung your nostrils on the bad days.
Her burned face, gazing up at you with thanks as you offered to kill her, was the image you showed Monsieur Lioncourt.
"No need," Monsieur Lioncourt smiled. "I prefer to keep my skin unblemished."
Claudia had already thrust her hand under the light, palm up. She pulled it back and shrieked giddily before looking at you.
"How do you do that?"
You shrugged, and she took a couple steps closer.
"Are you really my age, or are you like Uncle Lestat?"
"Perhaps we could discuss this in private?" you prompted the vampires. "After your dinner, of course."
"Yeah," Louis said, eyeing the alleyway entrance uneasily. "I'd prefer if we weren't so exposed. Here's the address."
He passed you a fancy, professionally printed card with golden lettering.
"Perfect!" you smiled. "See you there by sunrise. If not, I'll have to find some new friends." Within a heart beat, you were gone, away and into the night.
"Ooh, I like them," Claudia said before skipping away in search of a new meal.
some of my favorite tidbits from american history in honor of the 250th!!
clara barton, a battlefield nurse for the union army and eventual founder of the american red cross, was dubbed the "angel of the battlefield" for her vital and timely assistance to soldiers and doctors alike. during the 1862 battle of antietam, barton discovered that one of the soldiers she was tending to happened to be a young woman -- mary galloway, who had disguised herself as a man, joined the war effort following her lover lieutenant harry barnard, and would later name her daughter clara after barton eventually reunited the couple
stetson kennedy helped take down the kkk by exposing their code words and secret rituals on a 1947 superman radio show
in 1777, sixteen-year-old sybil ludington rode forty miles to warn the local militia of an upcoming british attack. traveling twice the length of paul revere's journey, she roused around 400 men by banging on their doors with a large stick, and it's even said that she gained recognition from george washington himself
robert smalls, an enslaved man in south carolina, emancipated himself as well as fifteen others in 1861 by disguising himself as a confederate ship captain and sailing the css planter into the union territory (simultaneously providing another warship to the union). not only that, but in 1864, smalls purchased the former mansion of henry mckee -- the man who had once enslaved him
during the 1969 chicago seven conspiracy trial, abbie hoffman reportedly once came in wearing judicial robes with a chicago police uniform underneath, called judge julius hoffman "julie" several times, and raised his middle finger when being sworn in as a witness
after american troops arrived in france In 1917, they made a (mostly symbolic) march through paris, stopping at the grave of the marquis de lafayette to honor his immense contributions during the american revolutionary war. with the tomb at his feet, colonel c. e. stanton declared, "lafayette, we are here!" (over a century too late after the us decided not to aid the french during the revolution, but a cool statement nonetheless)
in 1930s america, a pro-nazi organization called the german american bund was active across america. however, another group was also gaining traction at around the same time: the minutemen. while those in new york were mostly made up of jewish mobsters and those in new jersey mainly consisted of jewish boxers, both had a common goal of breaking up bund meetings by beating the shit out of their members
between 1913 and 1915, there were at least seven instances of people mailing their children through the postal system, since it was cheaper to buy a stamp for your child and have them transported by a trusted mail carrier than purchasing a train ticket for them
the first minnesota volunteer infantry regiment captured a confederate flag from the twenty-eighth virginia infantry regiment in the 1863 battle of gettysburg, and the minnesota historical society still has it today, despite virginia requesting for its return in 2000, 2002, 2003, and 2013. governor jesse ventura famously responded to the 2000 request with "why? i mean, we won"
although many members of various native american nations served as code talkers during the world wars, the most famous of which are probably the navajo code talkers. between 1942 and 1945, over four hundred navajo worked as code talkers for the marines, providing a system that even the most skilled code breakers couldn't crack -- largely due to the fact that navajo has no written alphabet and highly complex tonal qualities. for decades the contributions of these men went unrecognized, but in 1992 they were finally honored at the pentagon for their vital involvement in the allied war effort
founding fathers thomas jefferson and john adams both died on july forth, 1826, with adams allegedly declaring "jefferson still survives" on his deathbed, unaware that his former colleague was already dead
after woodrow wilson had a stroke in 1912, his wife edith wilson took over many of his presidential duties, making her the first female president in practice. she and physician cary grayson decided to keep her husband's condition hidden from the public, even staging several pictures of him to make it seem like he was hard at work in the white house
the youth international party (yippies) held a rally for their presidential nominee, a hundred and forty-five pound pig named pigasus, outside the democratic national convention in 1968. his acceptance speech was being read by jerry rubin when he and six other yippies were arrested along with pigasus and a sow apparently called "mrs pigasus"
after hitler banned bold makeup from public functions in 1933 because he deemed it improper for a good german woman, wearing red lipstick became a symbol of solidarity against fascism. allied militaries were quick to implement it as a part of their female uniforms and issue propaganda encouraging women to wear it. in 1941 elizabeth arden created a shade of lipstick called victory red for civilian women, and in 1942 the us women's marines corp adopted her shade montezuma red as a standard part of the uniform
harriet tubman was not only the most famous conductor of the underground railroad, but also a nurse, soldier, and spy for the union during the civil war. the first woman in american history to lead an armed military raid, in 1863 she commanded the combahee river raid, which included the liberation of over seven hundred and fifty enslaved people
in 1782, deborah sampson disguised herself a man, adopted the alias robert shurtleff, and joined the fourth masschusettes regiment. she managed to protect her true identity for over two years -- however, after she lost consciousness due to illness, her sex was discovered and was given an honorable discharge. after her death, her husband petitioned congress for pension as the spouse of a soldier, and surprisingly he was awarded the money
adolf hitler had a nephew who fought for the united states navy during world war ii. born william patrick hitler, in 1933, he declined his uncle's request to denounce his british citizenship, earning himself the nickname "my loathsome nephew." after his 1939 lecture tour of the united states where he warned americans about the nazi threat, he enlisted in the us military because he wasn't allowed in the british forces. he eventually became a us citizen in 1946 and legally changed his name to william patrick stuart-houston
in 1970, richard nixon signed the poison prevention packaging act, which required all prescription and over-the-counter drugs to have childproof packaging. stephen bull, a former presidential aide, recalled that he was once asked by the president to open his allergy medicine, and the childproof cap had numerous teeth marks on it from nixon's apparent attempts to gnaw it open
the elephant became the mascot of the republican party to demonstrate union war strength (as "seeing the elephant" was slang for experiencing combat). the donkey became the democratic mascot because people frequently called andrew jackson a jackass
alice roosevelt, daughter of president theodore roosevelt, was infamous for various antics she pulled, which include but are not limited to: smoking on the roof of the white house after her father told her to stop smoking inside of it, sneaking whiskey into parties, jumping into a pool fully clothed and convincing a congressman to join her, carring her pet snake named emily spinach in her purse, burying a voodoo doll of first lady nellie taft in the white house lawn and consequently getting herself banned from the taft white house, cutting her wedding cake with a sword she borrowed from a military aide, racing cars through the streets of washington, and putting a tack on the chair of a congressman
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This one goes out to the anon competing at the International Barbershop Harmony convention! I think Grace is smart enough to put that card together pretty quickly.
Eridians must be absolutely amazed that Grace can be woken up before his sleep cycle is finished. They take advantage of this and fit the biodome's bedroom with a remotely-triggered alarm system, so if something ever goes wrong with the life support systems while Grace is asleep, they can wake him up and have him move to safety. But, being that their sleep is more like a deep dormancy, they WAY overestimate what it takes to forcibly wake someone up.
The first time they have to use it (over something stupid like a tiny ammonia leak), Grace wakes up to like three different foghorns and a hundred camera flashes going off at once and is like HOLY GEEZ THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US
(eta if someone with art talent wants to make this a proper eridian welcoming committee comic please do!)
Every time I watch CATWS, I notice one detail that has stuck with me for years, STEVE is the one who turns the standoff into a fight.
Steve makes the first move, Bucky doesnāt change stance until he has to defend himself. But that clipās a little fast, let me slow it down for you.
Bucky, The Winter Soldier, doesnāt change his stance at all until heās defending from the shield, at which point he grabs the gun at the same time.
At this point in the film Bucky is at odds with himself and his programming, and even though his mission is to stop Captain America, he doesnāt take the offensive, Steve does.
And Sebastian Stan (being the brilliant actor he is) gives some incredible performance with his eyes in this scene too.
He doesnāt look mad at Steve, not to me at least. He looks more like heās resigned himself to the inevitable fight, even if Steve hasnāt.
Not to mention his body language is very open and almost relaxed. He isnāt in a fighting stance, heās not covering any of his vital organs or anything. Even though he knows how itās gonna end. Because āit always ends in a fight.ā
Summary - Steve and Bucky in the car after Steve snapped Bucky out of the ten trigger words in Civil War
Word Count - +1300
Warnings - Emotional whump and angst. Self-hatred/guilt spiral. Crying and begging. Brainwashing and Hydra references. Violence and injury mentions (blood, bruises, fighting). Trauma themes.
border by @saradika
May 23, 2016
It has been 2 years, 4 months, and 11 days since Bucky Barnes watched Steve Rogers fall from the helicarrier.Ā
68 years, 11 months, and 11 days since Steve Rogers watched Bucky Barnes fall from the train.Ā
70 years, 2 months, and 22 days since Bucky Barnes considered himself someone worth saving.Ā
70 years, 2 months, and 22 days ago, Steve pulled Bucky out of that place. A repurposed military base that Hydra took over, where they stole his chance at normalcy with a single needle and an experiment. Heād been in denial about it. He felt the same. Mostly. And he looked the same.Ā
And yet, when his old friend appeared, Bucky had two questions.Ā
Did it hurt? Is it permanent?Ā
Deep down, he knew, something irrevocable had happened to both of them.Ā
Because, by then, Steve was changed and brand new. Over the next few months, heād really earn the Captain America title. Because he wasnāt really changed and brand new. Steve was always good. The little guy who stuck up for little guys no matter the cost. The serum did not change Steve because Steve was always good. When he answered Buckyās questions: a little, and, so far, he was still the same Brooklyn kid through and through.Ā
By that logic, the serum must not have changed Bucky, either. His title, too, was earned. The Fist of Hydra. The Winter Soldier. Eventual Soviet antithesis to golden boy Steve Rogers. It must have always been in him.Ā
An assassin they pulled off the ice for only the hardest missions. A rumor, a ghost, and, namely, a threat.Ā
2 years, 4 months, and 11 days ago, Bucky almost killed Captain America. And Captain America did not fight back.Ā
Because, youāre my friend. Because, Iām with you till the end of the line.Ā
Because Captain America is a better man than The Winter Soldier could ever be. When he talks about that day, he does not call it the day Bucky Barnes almost killed Steve Rogers. He corners Bucky with his own version of the truth in the Bucharest apartment he should not have found.Ā
To Steve, that is the day Bucky pulled him out of the river. Convenient of him to forget the minutes that led up to him falling. The days, and months, and years. The long list of bodies that fill the space.Ā
It grew today, the list. Tallying up the score on victims of The Winter Soldier.Ā
Steve pretends it isnāt true. In the face of death, heād hoped. Surrendered. In the aftermath of chaos, he forgave. And even while Bucky hid out in Bucharest for as long as he could, Steve Rogers never stopped looking.Ā
And how foolish of him.Ā
America needed one thing, Hydra needed another. America did not have to turn Steve into a hero; it was always in him. Hydra did not have to turn Bucky into a weapon; it must have always been in him.Ā
They were friends before, but what does that really matter? Steveās loyalty is misguided. Cemented by time, shared history. Like he does not realize he can change his mind. Like he is still getting pushed around in Brooklyn, but this time itās Bucky doing the shoving.Ā
It used to be him who defended Steve. Bucky remembers that. Dark alleyways and the fights Steve shouldnāt have been picking. Not when he was half the size of every other guy their age. Over the years, Bucky lost count of how many fights he pulled Steve out of. The number of times Steve would huff out a resigned yet sincere, thanks, Buck.Ā
But what does that matter when it must have always been in him?
They are in Berlin now. Buckyās knuckles still hurt from all the punches he threw. At this rate, theyāll hurt forever, and heād deserve it.Ā
If it only takes ten words to turn you into a monster, can you blame the words?
Steve saved him again. This time from himself. Knocked him out for long enough that Bucky regained control of his mind. This time, it was Steve who asked him a question. Pointed and suspicious.Ā
Which Bucky am I talking to?Ā
It doesnāt matter, Bucky wanted to laugh. Ten words or not, it must have always been in him.Ā
That was earlier today. 5 hours and 13 minutes since Steve made the misguided decision not to turn Bucky in. Itās true, he didnāt plant that bomb. He did not kill TāChaka. He hasnāt killed anyone in 2 years, 4 months, and 11 days. Of course, itās only a matter of time.Ā
Itās nighttime now. Sam is asleep in the passenger seat as Steve pulls over for gas. Sharon Carter did not turn Bucky in on the side of the road because Steve is vouching for him and who can argue with Captain America?Ā
Wellā¦ Tony Stark can, and that issue is coming at them full speed.Ā
When Steve steps out of the car, Bucky follows him, not in control of his own body. Different from the mechanical way the ten words make him move.Ā
This is pathetic. It is desperation.Ā
Because, if heās being honest with himself, he wants Steve to be right about him. He wants it to be like when Steve saved him 70 years, 2 months, and 22 days ago.Ā
Every breath is a contradiction. The rejection of forgiveness. The urge to beg for it.Ā
The car door shuts, and they are alone at a gas pump somewhere in Germany.Ā
Steve turns, glancing at Bucky in quiet surprise.Ā
The flickering street lights shadow his face, and Steve is seventeen, wiping his bloody nose in Buckyās bathroom. Beside him, Bucky rinses the bloody knuckles that he cracked across the guy's face the second he took a swing at Steve.Ā
When Steve shifts, the shadows move. Captain America is on the Helicarrier, and Buckyās knuckles donāt hurt. The metal arm did not register any pain as it slammed into Steveās face again and again and again.Ā
This is 2 years, 4 months, and 11 days in the making. Two words that heād rather go into hiding than say. That are falling from his lips before he can stop himself.Ā
āIām sorry.āĀ
It is selfish to want forgiveness, and he should shut up. He should run. Hide long enough this time that Steve is forced to move on and forget him.Ā
Instead, he is pathetic and weak and begging.Ā
āIām sorry. I am so sorry.ā
Steve inhales slowly. āBuckāā
āI know you thinkā¦ā His body stops him. Tenses. He swallows. āI didnāt mean toā¦ā The words catch and crack. Trip over the barbed wire in his throat, never making it out.
Steve fills in the blanks. āI know.āĀ
But he needs to say it. Needs Steveās forgiveness on some other basis than old childhood loyalty.Ā
āI didnāt want to hurt you. I didnāt wantā¦ā any of it. Or this. But he wants this. He needs this. Does not deserve it and will take it anyway.
Something burns his eyes as he blinks, furious. The gas station lights flicker, and the pump clicks. Bucky canāt breathe, canāt think.Ā
āGod, pathetic.ā The words come out ragged, disgust tangling with the barbed wire. He hates himself for not leaving again.Ā
For becoming this.Ā
For the past 68 years, 11 months, and 11 days.Ā
He hates himself, and he begs anyway. For something like redemption.Ā
But even as he asks, he knows it wonāt come.Ā
Because if it was always in him, it will always be in him.Ā
Every time he looks at Steve, he sees him as he was on the Helicarrier. Hopeful and forgiving on the brink of death. Sees himself in the reflection in the slits of Steve's swollen and bruised eyes. Unmerciless and violent in the name of it.Ā
The way he steps closer now. Concern in his eyes. Voice quiet but firm, pleading just as much as Bucky is.Ā
āBuck. Please donāt cry.āĀ
The words make him flinch. A quiet gunshot. Too soft for someone like him. Too gentle to be true. Bucky Barnes does not cry. But when he wipes his hand over his face, it comes back wet.Ā
If it was always in him, it will always be in him.
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Watched a documentary about abuse and advice one guy said to give children was, "Tell them that if someone is hurting them, to tell someone - and don't just tell one person. Tell as many people as possible, and keep telling as many people as possible until the abuse stops." and i really liked that
Bc so many ppl focus on the idea of telling A Trusted Adult, but even a well-meaning individual can fuck up and let abuse fall through the cracks or not know what to do
Whereas if a child tells LOADS of adults AND other kids, there's far less opportunity for an abuser to do damage control
Consistently telling their story and spreading it around disempowers the abuser to control and coerce the flow of information, or to utilise gaps and weaknesses in systems of reporting or welfare to isolate the child
Just really good advice. Not suprised I don't hear it more often.
For those of you who aren't familiar, I live in an exceptionally flammable part of the United States, and despite the fact that every goddamn year multiple parts of my state catch fire, destroy homes and kill people, the local assholes insist on getting drunk and setting fire to a bunch of illegal explosives anyway.
In 2023, God granted me a Miracle that prevented my house from burning down.
Last year, I had to resort to Psychological and Chemical Warfare to keep the patriotic arsonists at bay.
This year is apparently An Important Birthday for the clusterfuck we have the nerve to call a nation, so despite the fact there is so much smoke in the air that the sun has literally been blood red for the last week, the pyrotechnic fetishists are out in force.
Last year, I hit upon the concept that if my neighbors were going to act like problem animals, it would make sense to use the management techniques on them that you might use on say, a Bear that was doing serious property damage. Thusly, I created The Stench, a nontoxic but FOUL smelling concoction that I could discretely spray around the flammable gatherings and render the area extremely uncomfortable to occupy for the rest of the night, forcing them to give up or move on.
If this seems harsh:
There is no story from 2024 because a grass fire was started by fireworks less than 12 miles from me and the high winds put me in the evacuation zone in under an hour.
Over fifty people lost their homes.
Errant fireworks burning my house down is a very real possibility, and I pay the price in anxiety and insurance premiums.
The Stench is noxious but harmless, and also very effective at building a buffer zone around my home. But sneaking up to parties on foot in this heat is both exhausting and nerve-wracking. There have to be more effective ways to do this
-And there is!
It involves Weeds and Business Cards :)
All of this spring, I've been battling Bindweed and my City Code Enforcement Officers.
The city code people have been professional, but the truth is that one of my neighbors is calling them on use because one of my housemates is transgender. It's extremely grating to get these notices, having to explain repeatedly that I *AM* working on the weed situation, I just have a heart condition and No Money. It's also deeply paranoia-inducing to know that the city is regularly coming by and photographing my house.
The Solution to the Bindweed is 1 gallon of high-concentration vinegar, half a cup of Borax, a quarter cup of salt, and a couple tablespoons of dish soap. Get one of those weed sprayers from a hardware store and mix it up in there. Spray it on your thistles, bindweed, kudzu, garlic mustard or whatever your local herbaceous invasive is on a day with bright sunlight, and in a few hours the entire part of the plant above the soil is Deceased. It's non-toxic to insects, pets and wildlife (just wait a few months before trying to plant anything in the area for the traces to wash out).
The only real downside to this stuff is that it smells HEINOUS.
Sure, The Stench is nauseating, but WeedFucker 5000 is genuinely painful to inhale. Again, it wont hurt people- even my asthmatic housemates can use the stuff- but boy howdy it sure smells toxic. I've got the ingredients for about 40 gallons of WeedFucker 5000 prepared and ready to go.
I've also got a disposable hazmat suit, rubber boots and gloves, respirator, goggles and a shitty little golf cart from the free section of craigslist to haul my shit around in.
I also have Business Cards!
See, the very nice officers from the City Code department left some Very Nice business cards so that I may contact them about "the fucking bindweed is gone, get off my back".
So I scanned the business card into my computer, fired up Clip Studio, and made my own business cards. I've turned my City's Abstract Triangle Logo into an Eye of Providence and the slogan of "E Pluribus Unum" to "E Plurbis Anus", Changed my city's name to a dumb pun, and stated the card originates from "The Department Of Public Nuisances".
Crucially, where the name and contact information of the real city employee has been replaced with the name and business email of the neighbor who has been bragging on facebook about calling the city code department on my home because he hates my housemate :)
It looks, at a glance, very much like the business cards of city employees. If you look at it for like 5 seconds though, there's no way it could be mistaken for the real thing.
I've printed out 500 of these bad boys and will have them on hand as I, an alleged City Employee, am forced to work overtime on a national holiday doing weed mitigation, because my boss can't manage deadlines for shit.
You're mad about it? I've been out here since 5 AM! But I've gotta or the city will audit us and I could get fired. You know what the economy is.
Here, this is my Boss's Business card- how about you send him an email about how this has ruined your barbecue?
It's golden hour now, so I'm Suiting Up and preparing to embark on some civil service in the form of Noxious Weed Eradication, and by coincidence, Fire Mitigation.
I'll report back later Tonightš«”
(If you'd like to support your local disabled storyteller in their Acts Of Public Service, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or supporting me on Patreon)
I felt very tired today so i layd in bed and explored youtube for videos and youtube is crammed with video essayists that are ragebaiting themselves and transmittingn the ragebait like disease to their subscribers
theres a million videos like "the flimsy girl trend has gone TOO FAR"
Theres also a bunch of videos about how "Gen Alpha is messed up and illiterate and doomed" but it was just wall to wall footage of parents posting their kids on tiktok, often from a creepy vantage point that had to be a camera hidden in the wall or something, really disturbing
Tiktok trends, tiktok aesthetic, tiktok tiktok tiktok. JUST GET OFF OF TICKTOCK
I think that algorithm based social medias are very malicious. They could feed you basically endless stereotypes that confirm the biases you already have.
Basically anything could be AI slop too and with comments sections, there were so many bots long BEFORE generative AI was a thing now anything online could have thousands of bots running rampant engaging in human like conversation. Like, you don't know if any of the people youre getting angry about are even real
One thing that reminds me to take a step back when I'm watching those is the over generalization ( "everyone is [using AI, filming kids' meltdowns, etc]!!!!" "Nobody can [read, be polite, etc] anymore!!!!")
It makes me say "wait! āļø Actually, no. This is a trend on the internet. There's plenty of people who are NOT like this."
I got this journal to write down the things I remember. To help me keep track of the days.Ā
A week ago I went to the store to pick it up. But I didnāt remember buying it until today.Ā
For a while it was hard to breathe after going outside. There is too much noise. The streets are always so crowded. It all makes my head hurt.Ā
The headaches are not that bad. If they were, I could take something but I donāt know what helps.Ā
My hands shake when I go outside. I donāt think itās from the cold Iām used to the cold.Ā
I bought a glove to cover my the metal hand. I could wear one on the other hand but I keep forgetting. The skin on my knuckles is cracking. Iām used to it. They bleed all the time.Ā
They bled for a week after I hit Steve.Ā
I wrapped them in gauze so people would stop staring.Ā
The notebook came in three colors. Black, blue, and red.Ā
Staring at the red one made my hands shake.Ā
Thursday, December 11
The apartment has two exit routes. A door at the front and one at the back.Ā
I need to remember that in case someone comes for me.Ā
Even if I donāt want to fight, it always ends in a fight.Ā
Thursday, December 17
I wonder where the red notebook is.Ā
It keeps me up at night. Iām not sleeping anyway so it doesnāt matter. Iām so tired.Ā
Sometimes I missĀ
There was a benefit toĀ
At least in cryostasis I didnāt have to think.Ā
At least when Hydra wiped me I couldnāt remember the things they made me do Iāve done.Ā
Tuesday, December 23
The apartment is always freezing at night. Maybe I should fix the radiator. Itās not that bad. Iāve gotten used to the cold.Ā
I think Steve and I used to be friends. I fought in World War Two with Steve Rogers. The display at the Smithsonian said we were friends. I donāt remember. I donāt even know what I am supposed to remember and it gives me headaches every day.Ā
Thursday, December 25Ā
No one was outside today. It was nice being able to walk around without worrying about people staring.Ā
I need to buy a thicker jacket. Winter will end eventually. I donāt go outside much anyway. Only when I need to.Ā
Today I left to buy groceries for the apartment but every store was closed. I didnāt realize why until I saw a group of people family playing in the snow. They told me merry christmas. I hesitated too long before I said it back. I could tell from the way they stared strangely.Ā
They were the first people I talked to in four days.Ā
For a second, I thought I remembered something. Maybe my mom. Cooking in her apron on Christmas morning. She had brown hair like mine. And she was tall. Both my parents were, I think.Ā
I never got to say goodbye. I think I miss her.Ā
What would she say if she saw me? Did I have a funeral?Ā
The apartment below mine is playing christmas music. I can hear them laughing. I donāt think Iāve laughed in a very long time.Ā
Saturday, January 3, 2014 2015
The new year started a few days ago. I must have celebrated it once. The stores were all closed for a few days and I forgot to buy groceries.Ā
It might have been the new year in 1942, or 43? Before I went to the war. I think I remember getting drafted.Ā
I never wanted to fight
I should have gone grocery shopping earlier. The fridge and pantry are empty.Ā
I stopped for a second outside a restaurant today. The man stared at me. I made him uncomfortable.Ā
Maybe one day Iāll try a restaurant.Ā
Protein bars are the easiest thing to eat. Even if I got sick of the taste.Ā
Itās better than being hungry. Hydra used to starveĀ
Looking at the date is confusing. It makes me uncomfortable to see how much time has passed.Ā
Monday, January 12Ā
Pierce was lying.Ā
I knew Steve.Ā
We were friends.Ā
Tuesday, January 13Ā
There were knives in the kitchen from the last tenant. I got rid of them. Just in case.Ā
Wednesday, January 14Ā
I got rid of the mirror in the bathroom.Ā
Looking in it makes me sick.
Friday, February 13Ā Ā
I had a dream nightmare last night.Ā
Iāve had them before. Always nightmares.Ā
I only slept for three hours. The floor is easier to sleep on than the bed. I donāt know why. Even though its so cold.Ā
The nightmare was about the red notebook. Someone came into my apartment and said the ten words. And then I said the three that always follow.Ā
Iām afraid to even think them.Ā
The red notebook could be anywhere. What if they see me outside?Ā
Remember to buy newspapers to cover the windows.Ā
It will also help blocking the sun. The light makes the headaches worse.Ā
When I woke up from the nightmare I thought my hands were red. Bloodstained.Ā
I washed them in the sink for ten minutes until they cracked.Ā
The water heater must be broken.Ā
It wasnāt real. It was just a dream nightmare.Ā
The nightmares are very similar to the things I remember doing.Ā
Iām good at killing people. Why didnāt I question things more?
Monday Tuesday ThursdayĀ
My head hurts too badly to know what day it is. I canāt wonāt go outside today.Ā
It has been three four seven days since I went outside.Ā
Mission complete
Sunday, February 21
I bought rope to tie the metal arm down at night. Just in case. Remember to use it.Ā
Tuesday, March 10Ā
I think today is my birthday.Ā
I think I am 98 years old.Ā
I should be dead. Everyone I knew is dead.Ā
Steve is alive. He might be looking for me.Ā
Wednesday, March 11Ā
I miss my mom.Ā
If I could have just seen her one last time
If I knew Iād be saying goodbye forever maybe I would have said more
Wednesday, March 18
I woke up standing by the door today. I donāt even remember getting out of bed off the floor.Ā
This isnāt the first time itās happened. Maybe last week. Maybe before that.Ā
What happens if I leave next time?Ā
What happens if I leave next time?
If I black out, will I know? Or will I read it in the paper?
Wednesday, April 1Ā
It is finally getting warmer out.Ā
Sometimes the jacket makes me too hot. I canāt wonāt take it off. The metal arm will scare people. Iām used to people being afraid of me. Sometimes I wish they werenāt.Ā
Saturday, April 24Ā
I hope Maybe no one has the red notebook. I hope Maybe it got lost.Ā
Sunday, April 25Ā
It doesnāt matter if no one has the red notebook.Ā
The words are in my head and it hurts so badly.
The red notebook isnāt the only thing that makes me dangerous.Ā
Iām so afraid paranoid that Iāll slip. Hear the ten words in my head and become a monster The Winter Soldier a monster again.Ā
I never want to be The WinterĀ
If I go outside, Iām putting everyone in danger.Ā
But Iām so hungry. Ā It doesnāt matter. I can wait until its nighttime and the streets are emptier. That way I canāt hurt anyone.Ā
Should I turn myself in?
I am afraid of what theyāll do to me.
Iād deserve it.Ā
Friday, May 8Ā
Today I woke up with my boots on.Ā
Iām afraid worried that I went outside and didnāt remember.Ā
Keep checking the news. There are no reports so far.Ā
Maybe I didnāt hurt any body.Ā
Wednesday, May 20
I had another nightmare today.Ā
When I woke up I couldnāt breathe.Ā
Tying the metal arm down helps. But sometimes it scares me to wake up and be restrained. It helps to know that I canāt get up at night.Ā
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i fucking hate the āthis is the good luck post.ā Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes thereās a million goddamn notes on it itās statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it
