the simple life;

She didn’t want Verity to feel like this was her fault and she wondered if Shelby could talk to her or if there was somewhere she could go to for this.  “I didn’t let you see any of that.  I didn’t let you in enough.” She admitted, furrowing her brow slightly. Penny looked over as Verity reached for her hand, letting her take it and returning the squeeze,  “I wasn’t fair to you.” She used her free hand to wipe at her eyes as she looked down at the ground in front of them. “I don’t think anyone would have reacted differently in the moment.  I’m just so thankful that you and Sophia are alright.” She thought about Jonas, trying to remember those days but she had been coming down hard and everything was such a blur. “You did?”

It was part of who she was, blaming herself for things she couldn’t control or her fault. “I wish you would have.” Verity’s voice was soft. “How about now? Can you let me in now?” She questioned. Her fingertips grazed over Penny’s knuckles softly. “You were good to me though, Penny. You really were.” She really believed that because it was true. Her eyes remained on her ex, even as the other woman looked at the ground. “We are both fine. I promise you this. Just some a sprang arm and Sophia had a bump on her head. But she is okay. Like I said keeps asking about you.” She sighed a little bit before nodding her head some. “Yeah, I did. Last thing I wanted was for you to be in jail. Especially since the accident could have been a lot worse. You didn’t mean to hurt us.” 

Penny had been expecting awkward silence until she found the words to apologize and try to even start making amends for everything that she had put Verity through and when Verity started to apologize all she could do was sit there and shake her head.  He hands clenched at her sides, her nails digging into her palms, as she looked at Verity. “I don’t, please stop. You don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to say any of this.” She pleaded softly as she looked at her.  “I owe you all the apologies and even that wouldn’t be enough.” She said quietly, thinking about the message that -A had left under her pillow, finding a way even here to torture her.  A small sob escaped her when Verity mentioned Sophia asking about her, shaking her head as she fought back the tears that were stinging her eyes.  “I don’t blame you, for any of it. Especially not the way you reacted that night.” She admitted. “I deserved it, and worse.  I honestly still don’t understand how I ended up here and only spent the three nights in jail before sentencing.” She said softly. She listened as Verity spoke about Shelby but she couldn’t concentrate on any of that, not when Verity was making no sense to her.

Last thing Verity wanted between them was awkward silence, nothing about them had ever been awkward. When she heard Penny, she looked back at her. “I should have seen something was going on. That you were hurting and that you needed me.” Taking a chance, she reached over and took Penny’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Last thing she wanted was to make her ex girlfriend cry. Penny had been her first everything. This wasn’t far to either of them at all. “I still shouldn’t have reacted like that.” It just brought up memories of her brother, stuff she was still dealing with. She hardly talked about Donny. “I think Jonas has a lot to do with that and the fact that I pleaded for you not to sit in jail any longer.” She told her softly. 

Penny noticed the blush on Verity’s cheeks and she smiled softly.  “You’re welcome.” She couldn’t even remember if she brushed her hair today and she moved her hand to run her fingers through her hair.  “Thank you.” She smiled again, feeling Verity’s eyes on her still.  She rolled her lower lip against her teeth before looking at her. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m sorry I didn’t let you in sooner. It was just rough in the beginning.” She admitted, letting out a small sigh.  “I think it’s kind of nice that you checked in with Paisley.” She said, looking over at her.  “Yeah, it’s definitely something my therapists have noticed.” She chuckled softly. “But I think I am getting better at it.”

Verity couldn’t help it, Penny could make her blush easily and she always did whenever she was around the other woman. “Yeah, I do. I know it’s a big deal with seeing me again due to what happened. I should have..I should have done things differently. I can only imagine what you are going through, Penny. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here for you. I should have been and I wasn’t.” She said this softly, her eyes not leaving hers. “And I know it’s probably going to take some time. But I would like to be here for you in any way that you need.” She smiled a little bit, before shrugging some. “It was the only way I knew if you were okay or not. Sophia asks about you and I never know what to tell her. She doesn’t understand why you haven’t been around.” Her voice was still soft. “Well I’m glad your therapist would have noticed that.” She chuckled lightly. “That is a good thing. It’s always good to open up to someone and I’m glad that you found that person even if it wasn’t me.”

Penny smiled softly as she watched Verity run her fingers through her hair. “It suits you.” She admitted, understanding the part about wanting a change. “I never thought I would see the day when you had shorter hair than me.” She chuckled softly.  She felt Verity’s eyes on her and she wondered if she should feel self conscious about the weight she had put on. They told her it was a sign of her healthy recovery and that it was only a few pounds but still. “Thanks.” She said softly, looking back at her.  At the question about Shelby she raised her brow slightly, trying to figure out if there was a chance that Verity could possibly be as jealous as she seemed.  “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.  That was Shelby, she’s my sponsor.” She looked back to see if Shelby was still around but she didn’t see her. “She’s been great.”

Verity couldn’t help but feel her cheeks starting to heat up and probably turn red, looking away for a moment. “Thank you.” She looked at Penny once again. “You still look good though even with you hair growing.” She said softly. The weight gain wasn’t something that the brunette noticed at all. She just noticed that Penny looked a lot more better. “You’re welcome.” She continued to let her eyes linger on the other woman for a moment. “Thank you for seeing me and I’m sorry if I pestered Paisley.” Maybe she was a little bit jealous of Shelby, she got to see Penny and help her through this difficult time. Be there when Verity couldn’t be. When they first started their visit, Verity noticed the other woman watching them before she left. “She seems nice and I’m glad that you have someone that you can count on. I know opening up isn’t the most easiest thing for you to do.” At least it wasn’t with her. And if Penny found someone to open to up well she would support that.

After Penny had said goodbye to Shelby, she turned to the entrance of the room where she saw Verity waiting for her.  She ran her tongue over her lower lip before moving to cross the room to her.  She had imagined over and over again what it would be like to see her again and she wasn’t sure which of the numerous ways this would go.  “Hi.” She nodded, giving her a small smile as she approached.  She could feel the awkwardness hanging in the air as Penny walked with her to find a place for them to sit.  She stood next to the couch, looking Verity over. She looked good, which was a relief for her, motioning to her hair but stopping herself from reaching out to touch it. “I like your hair.” She said softly, looking at her again before sitting down.

Verity was doing her best to not seem jealous especially since that person was helping Penny. The thoughts of seeing the other woman again were there all the time and she replayed which ways this could have went. There were so many different ways this could go. “Hi.” She repeated herself, she felt nervous and the awkwardness between them. It was overwhelming because it had never been there before. “Thanks.” She reached up and a ran a hand through it. “Thought it was time for a change.” The brunette admitted, looking Penny over for a moment. “You look good. Better.” Which was true considering the last time that she had saw her. “Who was that woman with you? Another patient, friend or someone helping?” She had no right to ask anymore. Penny didn’t have to justify anyone to her. “Sorry..you don’t have to answer that.”

Paisley had given her the okay after she went to check and see how her visit went with Penny. Which meant that Penny actually wanted to see her and maybe she was a bit excited for that. When the woman at the front desk mentioned that Penny was with her sponsor right now, and told Verity to wait. She couldn’t help but pace a little bit, spotting Penny with some woman who she figured was Penny’s sponsor, she watched them for a moment. Feeling a small ping of jealousy. But that woman was just helping Penny right? And that was what mattered. All she wanted was for the other woman to get better and try to be there for her if that was what she wanted. She had a lot of time to think about things and she wasn’t even sure where they stood. Even though Verity had broken up with her. Maybe in a haste because it brought back so many memories with her brother and if something had happened to Sophia, she wasn’t sure if she would even forgive herself. When she seen Penny come over, she gave her a small smile. “Hey.” She wasn’t sure what they should do here. God, she wanted to hug her, she really did.

“Hey…” Macey gave her a soft smile, shrugging as she sat down. She looked in at Donnie. “I think I’ll be alright… I don’t mind so much right now.” Macey admitted. She had never really gone through this before, Sophia had been older than Donnie when she took her. Macey just really wished that Alexander was here. “Um… so, you alright?”

Adelaide glanced over her shoulder to see Sophia, her heart dropping again as she saw that her little niece was also here in the emergency room. She couldn’t spot Penny but she was sure that if she was here that she was being looked after. Her family came first. “Okay, I’ll go check on Sophia.” She made the few steps over but when she saw how many nurses and doctors were already around her and how alert she was, Adelaide already knew that she was being taken care of. “Soph is fine. She’s got a whole pediatric group looking after her. Let’s focus on you for a moment, ‘kay? I need to know what happened.”

Macey followed Sophia through, who had already rushed to where Verity was and hopped up beside her. “Hey..” She moved over to the couch and sat down, peering at Donnie and then leaning back with a little sigh. “God, I’m exhausted.”

Penny could feel herself shrinking into herself as Verity continued to speak.  Part of her just wished that Jonas would come in and take her away.  Clearly getting thrown into a cell was what she deserved.  “I thought I could handle it…”

Penny furrowed her brow as Verity asked question after question.  “I thought I was okay.  I thought I could drive.” She said softly, shaking her head.  “I never wanted to hurt you or Sophia.” 

Penny looked at Jonas when he said he would give her a few minutes before he had to take her in.  She turned back to Verity and furrowed her brow. “My friend, he got killed and I didn’t know how to talk about it and I, I got some…and I just…I needed it.” She knew that nothing she was saying was a good enough excuse but it was so easy not to think about it when she was high.  “I’m sorry, Verity…”

Penny looked down when she felt Jonas’s eyes on her.  “I didn’t, I mean, just a little, but I was okay. I just swerved…there was a fox and then we hit a tree…”