I legitimately think most people would be better off if we all just learned how to be casually confrontational, even a bit petty. Some of the nicest, most pleasant people I know are also the most confrontational and petty people I know (<3) and thereâs a definite connection there, however itâs difficult to describe.
I touched on it earlier in my bitchfit: itâs kind of liberating to be able to see somebody say something monumentally fucking stupid, make fun of it, even tell them how fucking dumb theyâre being, but to not take it very seriously. I kinda think that can help train you to see people as complex multitudes which are contradictory and conflicting, not just a linear slider from âbadâ to âgood.â If you make confrontation into a taboo, if you make it into this locked-up axe that you only reach for in the most dire of circumstances, it ends up tainting people in your eyes when youâre driven to confrontation with them. That, or you end up resenting people because you want to tell them to stop being a fucker but thatâs a no-no. Judgement is kind of similar, and I think thatâs why we have this recurring issue on social media where people canât just dislike eachother. Your distaste has to be justified somehow. When you donât allow yourself to just be petty over something, then you search for ârealâ reasons to justify it and it builds up in a similar way.
However, if confrontation just isnât a big hairy, scary deal, then it rolls off everybodyâs back. I have friends who can get bullheaded as fuck with me every once in a while, and when that happens? We bicker! Because Iâm willing to tell them to their face that theyâre being unreasonable and kind of a shit! But what Iâve realized it is, is that we all understand and know that this doesnât define us, so it blows over in like 30 seconds because itâs not a big deal.
Lately I feel like putting stuff into words is difficult for me so I hope this comes across in a way that makes sense. This is particularly interesting to me because I used to be this very avoidant and mousey, to the point of it being exploited and causing me serious trauma. The ability to just be a bitch sometimes has helped my recovery so much and has, I think, made me able to have such healthier relationships with people. Even helping meet new people, And SOOOO many nerds are lacking this ability.
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