I legitimately think most people would be better off if we all just learned how to be casually confrontational, even a bit petty. Some of the nicest, most pleasant people I know are also the most confrontational and petty people I know (<3) and there’s a definite connection there, however it’s difficult to describe.
I touched on it earlier in my bitchfit: it’s kind of liberating to be able to see somebody say something monumentally fucking stupid, make fun of it, even tell them how fucking dumb they’re being, but to not take it very seriously. I kinda think that can help train you to see people as complex multitudes which are contradictory and conflicting, not just a linear slider from “bad” to “good.” If you make confrontation into a taboo, if you make it into this locked-up axe that you only reach for in the most dire of circumstances, it ends up tainting people in your eyes when you’re driven to confrontation with them. That, or you end up resenting people because you want to tell them to stop being a fucker but that’s a no-no. Judgement is kind of similar, and I think that’s why we have this recurring issue on social media where people can’t just dislike eachother. Your distaste has to be justified somehow. When you don’t allow yourself to just be petty over something, then you search for “real” reasons to justify it and it builds up in a similar way.
However, if confrontation just isn’t a big hairy, scary deal, then it rolls off everybody’s back. I have friends who can get bullheaded as fuck with me every once in a while, and when that happens? We bicker! Because I’m willing to tell them to their face that they’re being unreasonable and kind of a shit! But what I’ve realized it is, is that we all understand and know that this doesn’t define us, so it blows over in like 30 seconds because it’s not a big deal.
Lately I feel like putting stuff into words is difficult for me so I hope this comes across in a way that makes sense. This is particularly interesting to me because I used to be this very avoidant and mousey, to the point of it being exploited and causing me serious trauma. The ability to just be a bitch sometimes has helped my recovery so much and has, I think, made me able to have such healthier relationships with people. Even helping meet new people, And SOOOO many nerds are lacking this ability.
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