H4NN4H

But I want to lowkey manifest bf, friends and better social life. Desired appearance, better opportunities, and etc.

Especially green eyes and I have brown but I’ve seen a method where u ignore ur face in the mirror and affirm to the end so I’ll try that lol.

I feel like those hikkomori, (I think that Japanese meaning where they’re people who stay inside), but the uglier versions not glorified.

I keep having not always but recently when I have nightmares, pennywise is in it

The old one from the 90s was in which was more creepy.

I was just sleeping to procrastinate not to clean more.

All of a sudden my dream felt like some shitty 80s horror, where I didn’t listen to my cousins or sister to wait for a ride at night.

I walked my younger siblings at night which then turned into younger brother to brother cause of dream logic.

Then this man came up towards them don’t know who he was and he was outside like remember me. I think he saved them from being kidnapped or something.

Then two siblings of mine before it morphed into one brother took a pic.

All of a sudden I’m in the pov of a younger brother and I saw his creepy face and smile and some weird 80s background music.

Then I ran away to the house and left the brother, and then I saw pennywise out the door the og one I think.

He was chasing me around annoying as narrow rooms, then when it stopped.

My brother was sleeping and making noise went to the room it came out of nowhere and I’m knocking for help and my parents aren’t coming or too slow and there yelling back idk what it was.

I had such a funny dream like for my dc dr, being kryptonian with with mind reading and telekinesis . I saw it from some cool post of someone’s Young justice dr.

Kinda dream reminded me of Milly Alcock, supergirl hear me out I like hers a lot I don’t understand the hate. People on Twitter just expect her to look like some unrealistic weird fantasy or some p*rnstar from what I’ve seen.

Ngl being kryptonian looks so fun idk if id should script that instead. Like half kryptonian half something, idk I’ll figure it out.

Lol I had some funny dream few days ago, like I was mantis. I scripted my dc dr self not like her but inspired or I’d watch edits and I loved her personality. Even if I haven’t watched guardians of the galaxy.

Like marvel has great female characters in my opinion, I enjoy dc more but idk I like the vibe marvel has.

But anyways I was power scaling to raven, then Wanda came out and I was stressed af.

Okay my dr self I’m calling her hero name eclipse lol funny name I power scale her to Jean grey or Wanda. I’m gonna be honest

For Wanda its more admiration and her powers in mcu look crazy cool, especially that one house of m comic, overall her powers to me chefs kiss and her character even if she’s hot mess or emotional idc.

For Jean idk why she pisses me off, yes I’m jealous she has cool name pheonix/dark pheonix lol. 😭 this blog is honesty not lying one okay.

Like omg I’m pheonix I can destroy and do stuff it’s so boring or pisses me off. Or I’m dark pheonix and I can end you. I don’t know how to explain it.

Like the dark pheonix story just feels repetitive, I can’t explain it.

Thought of the day/ Confession or whatever

I don’t know why, but I’d prefer Better Cr dr then some better Cr in my current reality with manifestation.

It’s like decorating a dirty house or renovating a house that’s too damaged beyond repair.

I’m not saying manifestation sucks at all or anything. There’s been proven results and stories.

The idea of restarting or feeling in control of a reality for me like scripting feels better, in my CR it feels unstable, uncomfortable, uncontrollable, and with weirdest pain ever.

I don’t know if I’d permashift, it sounds fun but I’ve been telling myself once I shift. I’ll be less harsh to myself in my Cr and let go and stop caring. Like why not give one more chance or like have some waiting room that gives cool advice for Cr.

I got distracted here here’s my excited thoughts:

I’d definitely permashift but I have too much better Cr ideas lol. Especially like this is one I love like scripting Claire from resident evil as my better Cr best friend. I love how we have same 9 in our birth year and she’d seem like such a cool friend yk and Leon Kennedy as my dr s/o idk if I’d make him older but 2 or 4yrs yk such a struggle 🙄.

Like I read these insane probably fanon Leon Kennedy fanfics back in eight grade gosh I miss the time of that. I’ve always wanted to make dr s/o him mixed with canon. Honestly this is some random take,

I think re2 Leon is lowkey kinda better than re4 and especially re9 idk re9 him seems so forced I can’t explain it. Like why the hell does he still have that fuckass Karen haircut in his 50s we need to switch it up. I know this is extra him and Ada have the same cut lowkey.

I’m not fake larp fan or some ultimate resident evil know it all I used to watch lore about those games that’s all it and I forgot some info btw!! Lol 😭🙏

Yk what I’d so shift back just to make stories here idc if they’re small or unseen I’d still do it. But never show my face im scared if my family would see it that’d be horrifying. Or I’d so make some shitty YouTube video and post link here. That’d be way more smarter cause not everyone would see it and I’d be more safer

Extra stuff :

Like idk the idea of balancing Cr and Dr is so cool to me and I respect shifters who do it, I understand permashifters ofc and wanted to do it too. I just get unhealthy with it in a bad way that affects me

That’s why I tell myself about relaxing post shift, not caring about past painful Cr situations or judgment from others.

The only worst part about it made me remember the feeling of not being able to control situations or hurtful moments like in my current reality . I watched it all in third person trying to shut it off with a remote.

Also I got my account caught by my sister and that killed my mood.

But if I did I would do it in my better Cr or here if I don’t permashift and make my my better Cr dr my main reality.