I drift in darkness. Forever floating.

Just need to sleep now... Hopefully I'll feel better soon...

I wish I could have reacted better...

I wish I could just have a normal temper... I wish I wasn't so reactive...

I wish I could take it all back...

Why the fuck can't I just have calm thoughts for once.

I am the problem and I need to eradicate myself.

All I do is just stew in my own anger, right? So why not keep doing it if that's all I do according to you? Why don't I just make it worse?

Nothing I do is ever enough.

Maybe if I just go away from everyone, I'll feel better... But that's not what you want...

I really don't understand and I don't think I will ever understand how you actually like me.

Why the fuck do you even like me at this point?

Why do you keep being around me? Why do you keep staying with me after all the fucking stupid shit I've done?

I always fuck up something good, don't I?

I'm going to throw myself into a shame spiral... It's unavoidable.

Why can't you just fucking leave me? I probably sound ungrateful... I really and I mean it when I say that I really don't deserve you... You're too patient with me... I want to let go so you don't end up unhappy with me... I don't deserve you as a partner and I don't deserve you as a friend. I genuinely believe that.

I feels like no one will actually understand what I'm feeling but then again, I don't even understand what I'm feeling half of the time...