practical depression and theoretical wh0redom

You looked occasionally at Jongho who wasn't making eye-contact with you as he put a plate of scrambled eggs down for you. You were acting like everything was normal, but the feelings were obvious on your faces.

Truthfully, Eunji wanted to say something. She usually would. Under normal circumstances, she'd slam her hands on the table and demand to know why her parents were acting so weird and why they looked like they'd cried all night. She wasn't stupid. It was obvious.

But... yesterday had been so nice. She regretted sleeping for most of the day, so she just wanted to pretend that her parents were normal like everyone else's. At least for one more day.

She pushed down her anger towards her father. She'd forgotten about it yesterday, but she remembered it now. She was hoping that they'd snap out of it and all this tension would disappear so that she'd forget about her anger again. She just wanted to stop being angry.

You couldn't contain yourself anymore. Instead of dissipating, the tension became too much for you and you stood up.

"I'm not feeling too well," you said to Eunji, attempting to keep your voice steady, "I think I'm going to lay down. Is that okay?"

Eunji huffed and rested her cheek in her hand as she stabbed at her breakfast, "I can't say no, can I?"

"Eunji," Jongho scolded lightly, but you just chuckled, running your hand through her hair once before pressing a kiss on her forehead.

"You can say no. I'll listen," you said, "But I won't be my best. Would you rather I stay here with low battery or would you rather I come back out later with full battery?"

"I think appa drains your battery," she said sassily.

Jongho choked while you couldn't help but let out a chuckle, "Maybe a little," you teased, and suddenly the tension slowly started to dissolve. Eunji beamed proudly at her achievement.

"Okay, I'll stay. As long as you give me energy, it doesn't matter if Appa drains my battery, right?" you asked, petting her head.

"Right!" Eunji laughed. Jongho watched the two of you with genuine fondness.

Last night had been rough.

"I don't know," Jongho admitted, another tear falling from his eye, "I don't think we should be together. I don't think we can be."

You punched at his chest, screaming at him, but not articulating any words.

Why do you get to decide that!? Why can't we be? Who do you think you are!? I hate you!

Every wordless punch and scream clearly conveyed your thoughts.

You felt childish now. It was true that Jongho didn't deserve to love you anymore, but what did you deserve? You didn't deserve to be loved by someone who ruined your life... but what if you knew that no one else would ever love you more?

And that wasn't a testament to your desperation. It was a testament of his love.

Everything was wrong. Everything was fucked up. You wished you could go back in time and force Jongho to talk to you, but...you would have if you had just been mentally sound.

Jongho could only stew in his guilt. Especially now that he was watching you with Eunji. He never blamed you for deciding not to be in Eunji's life the second time around. He had ignored your mental state the first time, and he wasn't going to make that mistake twice, even if he didn't agree with the decision.

But you were so energized by Eunji. Maybe Eunji would have been the solution. Maybe this couldn't have been avoided, but you at least wouldn't have suffered longer. He wished you'd had the opportunity to be in Eunji's life.

He pressed his lips into a thin line.

He really wished he hadn't takin that option away from you.

Sometimes people are just wrong. He definitely was. But what could be done to punish him and give you retribution? He didn't know. He didn't know how to fix this.

"Appa," Eunji said, looking at him. He snapped out of his thoughts to look at Eunji who was giving him a blank stare. He flinched. Eunji had been particularly cold to him, and he deserved it, of course, but it still hurt. He did raise her on his own, after all, even if that was self-inflicted hardship.

"Can we go outside today?" Jongho looked at her sadly. The issues from yesterday had yet to be resolved. Apparently there were swarms at both KQ and your company waiting to spot either of you and or Eunji at a moment's notice. While the companies were quieting the storms, it still wasn't safe for the three of you to leave your apartment.

Doing this was forcing you and Jongho to talk about things that you should have talked about before you divorced. It was why Jongho had left so abruptly, after all. You both were nothing if not functional, and at the time he didn't want to be functional with you if that meant compromising after you'd hurt Eunji, even though you hadn't done that.

He sighed, shaking his head, "There's some stuff going on right now, so we have to stay at Eomma's place for a little bit. Is that okay with you?"

"You guys keep asking if it's okay with me, when I know you're gonna do whatever you want anyway," She grumbled.

"Hey, I listened to you, didn't I?" you asked her in a huff and she smiled.

"Yeah... you did..." She gave you a hug, melting into your embrace.

You ignored your quarrels with Jongho for a moment to share a look of pure awe with him. Eunji clearly loved you.

"Eomma, can I show you my drawings?" she suddenly asked, pulling away and looking at you with a serious expression.

"Really!?" you asked excitedly, looking at Jongho who was also surprised. Eunji drew a lot and she was very good at it, but she never even showed him her drawings. He'd only ever seen them when she left them out.

"Yes, come," she said, taking your hand and leading you out of the kitchen. Jongho followed behind, curiously, but when Eunji noticed, she stopped, turned around, and held up a firm hand, signaling him to stop.

"You are not invited." "What!?" Jongho asked incredulously, "But-"

"Don't come here! Stay there!" she yelled, quickly dragging you into the living room, making you chuckle.

"Eomma," she said solemnly, "I only show my drawings to the people I love most in the entire world, okay?"

Your mouth fell open, as did Jongho's from where he stood by the kitchen door, "Eunji-"

"I'm sorry I was so mean to you before," she said, softly, "And I don't know what appa did that made you leave... but I'll be mad at him if he ever does something again, okay? So don't leave again."

"I already promised that I would never leave you again," you said, holding her close as she cuddled up next to you on the couch with her sketchbook.

She kept it closed for a moment before she whispered, "Don't laugh, okay?"

"I'd never laugh." "Promise?" "I promise." Then she opened the sketchbook.

Eunji mostly drew pictures of people. The first page was drawings of her uncles San and Mingi in detail that was extremely impressive for such a young girl.

"They're easy to draw," she explained, then huffed when she turned to the next page, "But Yunho uncle is really hard."

"You did a good job though," you commended her. Jongho couldn't help but peek over your shoulder as you went through the sketchbook, and you were right. She had done a great job, all things considered.

A lot of the pages were drawings of Jongho.

"You draw a lot of pictures of appa," you teasing softly, "I thought he was ugly."

"He's handsome," she corrected you, "But I look like him, and I want to look pretty, not handsome." "Ah, I see," You said, nodding and kissing her head, "I still think you're the prettiest, though.

Eunji ignored you as she went to turn the next page. She hesitated for a moment and nuzzled into her. "What's wrong?"

"Don't laugh," she said quietly. "I told you, I won't," you replied.

She turned the page and you furrowed your brows while Jongho raised his. He was happy that he made sure to teach Eunji to date her drawings because maybe this drawing wouldn't be so impactful if she hadn't.

It was dated months ago. The first day Eunji brought her drawing supplies with her to your company. It was a drawing of you.

And it was beautiful.

It was the best drawing she'd shown you so far.

"Eunji...," you said, trying not to gasp, "This is... beautiful."

"I spent a lot of time on it," she murmured, "Because I was looking at you... you didn't notice."

Your heart clenched at the double meaning behind her words. You took a deep breath taking the initiative to turn the page. All of the following pages were just of you from different angles. She'd captured the minute details that-

"Can I say something?" she said, suddenly embarrassed.

"You can tell me anything, Eunji-ya," you said, stroking her head.

"I was drawing you so that I wouldn't forget what you look like," she mumbled, "In case you left again..."

Both your and Jongho's faces crumpled again.

"Oh my gosh, Eunji-" "I know you won't! You already promised!" she exclaimed, not wanting you to become too emotional, "Now I just draw you because it's easy for me because I know all the spots on your face and because you're really pretty-"

You took her sketchbook, putting it on the table before almost tackling your little girl into a hug, she screeched and giggled when you kissed her all over making Jongho's heart fill with an indescribably euphoric feeling.

"My Eunji is the most beautiful and talented and perfect girl that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing," you exclaimed, "You're making me cry so much these days!"

"I don't want you to cry, eomma, please!" she exclaimed through her giggles, "I want you to be happy forever with me, okay? Promise?"

"Yes, Eunji! I will be!" You exclaimed.

It was only a moment, but you suddenly reverted to a time long past when you always wanted to share your happiness with Jongho. You looked at him, a brightness only your husband could bring out of you once upon a time.

It was like time stopped. Neither of you knew why this moment was different. Maybe it was because it was a glimpse into another life: a real glimpse. The feelings you both felt in this moment was truly what it would have felt like to be whole as if you had never been separated in the first place.

It was unfortunately just a moment. A split second that had both of your hearts palpitating as Jongho's phone suddenly rang.

He was startled as he took his phone out of his pocket and picked up the call. It was from his mother.

"Hi, eomma, what's up?" He asked, turning away to talk to her. Eunji was side eyeing him as you turned your attention back to her.

"Are you getting bored, my girl?" You asked her, "I'm sorry you have ti be at home all the time."

"Yeah, why do I have to be at home," she huffed, rolling so that her butt was in your lap and she was looking up at you, "But it's okay because I get to spend time with you."

"Hmm, but you've been spending a lot of time with me, though?" you chuckled, "What so special about this time?"

She didn't say anything as you subtly led her to the answer. She huffed again. "Maybe it's because appa is also here-"

"I think it is because appa is also here," you chuckled, tickling her, and she shrieked in laughter.

You smiled at her warmly, pulling her up to face you. "I know you're mad at appa right now, but if you like us both spending time with you, then maybe I'll make sure that this can happen more often."

She looked sad for a moment before she nodded, giving you another hug, "I like that."

Suddenly, Jongho came back into the room, done talking with his mother. "Eunji-ya! Good news! Halmoni is coming to pick you up!"

"What!? Why!?" she yelled, outraged, "I wanted to stay here with eomma!"

"Terrible timing," you chuckled.

"Eomma and I have to talk about some adult things," Jongho said, briefly glancing at you, "When everything gets sorted out, you can come back and we'll all hang out again."

Eunji frowned, "But I want to stay with Eomma..." You patted your dear girl's head and smiled, "Remember I said I'd never leave you again? Even if we're apart, you can always remember that I'll come back."

"I know," she murmured, "But still... I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," you hummed in reply, "I'll call twice a day while you're at halmoni's okay?"

"Okay," she sighed.

You weren't surprised that when Jongho's mother came, she enveloped you in a big hug. "Remember that you are loved," she whispered, "Don't give evil what it wants. You are a gift to the world, to me. Do you understand."

It was hard to believe that considering what your life had looked like for the last 9 years, but after what Eunji said to you, you couldn't help but return her hug, a warmth enveloping your body.

Jongho was nowhere to be seen after he put Eunji's backpack, leaving you to send her off on your own. When the door clicked shut, your apartment felt almost too quiet.

But Jongho was still here. You could hear him in the kitchen.

Your brows were furrowed when you walked into him popping open a bottle of wine, pouring it into two glasses.

"What?" he asked, handing you a glass, "You want to be sober right now?" You realized he was right.

You didn't want to be sober for this.

You silently clinked your glass with his as you took a sip of the wine slowly, your eyes never leaving his as he did the same.

"I should have bought tequila," you murmured, downing the whole glass in one go. Jongho promptly followed your lead. Neither of you allowed the the alcohol to set in before you set the glasses down, and he pulled you in for a kiss.

It was set in stone the moment you'd looked at each other as if nothing had ever gone wrong. For a moment, perhaps for a day, you both just wanted to go back in time. You ignored the possibility of consequences.

You just wanted to be together again. Even if it was just for a moment, and even if that moment was filled with unresolved feelings that could probably never be resolved, further muddying the waters, you both needed it. Needed it the way an sober man needed alcohol.

It was so bad, but it was so right.

And when you woke up the next morning, your head laying on Jongho's bare shoulder, you should have jolted awake, pushed Jongho away and cried about what a terrible decision this all was, confusing you and Jongho, and likely Eunji as well.

But instead, you listened to Jongho's steady breaths, looked up at his face from where you laid and pretended to live in a time that didn't exist. His heart beat calmed you before you could panic, and you nuzzled into him.

Jongho wasn't one to cry, but when he felt the familiar feeling of you, skin-to-skin with him, he couldn't help but let out a few tears.

He didn't regret a single thing. That didn't make what was done any less wrong.

"Why did we do this?" you whispered, not knowing that he was awake.

"I don't know," Jongho replied, startling you, but not enough for you to jump, "What does it mean for us now?"

"I don't know," you repeated, "You're the one who said we couldn't be together."

"It's not that we can't," Jongho said softly, "It's that we shouldn't. It's not... it's just doomed."

"Was this doomed?" you asked softly, making him look down at you, "Do you regret it?"

"Tragic things can be beautiful, too," he said, kissing your head, "But don't regret a single minute."

"What do we do?" you asked.

"We pretend like it never happened," Jongho said with a shrug, sitting up in bed, forcing you to get up as well.

"What?" you asked, confused, "You said you didn't regret it."

"But it was still wrong," Jongho pointed out, "This complicates everything. For the information leaking situation, for Eunji, for us?"

"So are my feelings wrong? Am I wrong? Is that what you want to say?" you spat out, covering yourself as you got out of bed.

"No, y/n, what the hell, of course not!" Jongho exclaimed, a little upset that you'd misunderstand his words so drastically.

You screamed in frustration as you fell to your knees. You couldn't give a damn about how pathetic you looked right now.

"Why can't I ever just have what I want!?" you yelled. "Y/n-" Jongho quickly got out of bed, putting on his boxers, and went to you. He tried to place a hand on your back, but you smacked his hand away.

"I need you to leave," you suddenly said calmly.

"Y/n, I- I don't want to leave you alone." "GET OUT!" you screamed, "GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT. STOP CONFUSING ME. I'M ALREADY CONFUSED ENOUGH."

Jongho looked at you pained, but you simply got up, shoving him aside and locking yourself in your bathroom.

Jongho didn't move from his spot until he heard the shower running.

When you emerged from the bathroom, your room was clean. You stepped out to your living room and the rest of your apartment was clean, too.

But Jongho was nowhere to be found.

He actually left.

You didn't realize that you were crying until you could taste the salt.

As the face of the cookie shop, he was used to a few things. Free cookies, the horrors of customer service, and regulars coming and going.

He'd lean his arm on the ledge of the window, face pushed up against his palm as he stared off into the sky, "I wonder how that lady is doing."

"Which lady?" Mrs. Jung asked. "The one who's pregnancy cravings were red velvet cookies and pickles," Wooyoung clarified.

"Ah! Her! She asked for gender reveal cookies," his mom gushed, "You haven't seen her because her husband isn't letting her leave the house. He usually sends someone to bring the cookies to her now."

"How do you know that?" Wooyoung asked incredulously. "Emails," she said simply, "Twin boys, by the way."

"Does she have any other kids?" "Nope. First ones." "Poor lady," Wooyoung murmured, making his mom laugh.

"Hi," a bright voice came from the window. Wooyoung turned, and he remembered the final thing that he'd gotten used to while working the cookie shop.

You.

At this time in his life, you were a neutral presence. You'd come regularly for the last eight years, and at this time, as he was a senior and you were a sophomore in high school, you had been just a girl to him for a while now.

"Hi, what can I get you?" he asked, plastering on his customer service smile.

His first memory of you was your voice, back when he was just barely tall enough to reach out of the window back in fifth grade. He heard you screaming.

"Oh my gosh, daddy, please, please, please, can we get cookies, PLEASE!"

It'd made his lip turn up in a scowl. Of course, at this age, girls were gross.

You'd eventually convinced your dad to let you come in, and Wooyoung's mom was enamored by your enthusiasm as you looked at the case of cookies in the window.

"What can I get you, darling?" she'd asked. "Can I get....ummm...."

Wooyoung doesn't really know why he remembered what you ordered that day. "White chip macadamia nut." Actually, maybe it was because it was the same cookie you'd ended up ordering every day for the next three years. He had to remember. Your dad would only ever let you buy one cookie, he'd noticed, so you got the same one every time.

"We have other cookies, you know," he huffed one day. He would never forget the look on your face. You were genuinely so shocked that he'd acknowledged you. From what he could remember, you'd never even looked at him until that day.

"O-oh," you stuttered. You took a step back, not knowing what to say. He realized that you weren't even looking at the menu. He was so confused when you said, "Raspberry cheesecake."

His mom chuckled, "We have Strawberry cheesecake, is that okay?"

"Yes, please," you said politely. Your dad shook his head disapprovingly, but Wooyoung didn't know or care why at the time. From then on, you'd alternate between the two every time you came to the shop.

The first time you'd come by yourself, you finally decided to actually look at all the options. You were 13, and Wooyoung was 15, old enough to have manned the register for a couple of years at this point.

"What are we getting today? White chocolate macadamia or strawberry cheesecake?" he'd asked with that charming smile, that you both knew wasn't personal. Yet again, you looked surprised that he'd talked to you.

"I come here that often?" you asked. Wooyoung didn't notice at the time, but your body language was tight and you seemed nervous. You didn't stutter, but your words were so unconfident.

"Almost every day for the last 6 years, I think," Wooyoung chuckled, "What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm N/n," you said, smiling in an uneasy but not unkind way. "Just N/n?" he asked, and you nodded, "It's easier to pronounce."

"I'll take your word for it," he said, "I'm Wooyoung."

"Nice to meet you," You said. He remembered getting the ick from your expression. You looked fake. You didn't look mean, but you were definitely being fake. He hated that.

"So, what's it going to be?" he asked.

"Oh, uh... is it okay if I look at the options?" you asked, and he looked surprised, but nodded, letting you look at the cookie case.

"Can I get... a Biscoff chocolate chip?" you asked, and he nodded, bagging it for you and handing it over.

"When do you guys open, by the way?" you asked.

"10am," he replied. "Thank you so much," you said, taking the cookies." You quickly paid and bid him goodbye.

The reason you were so memorable wasn't because you were pretty or anything. There was nothing he found particularly remarkable about you. No, the reason he remembered you was because he had the same interaction with you with very little variability for the entire time he was working there.

After you'd started coming on your own without your dad, the only difference in the normal repertoire of words was the type of cookie you were ordering. You ordered something new every time until you finally picked your favorite cookies from the menu, unless there was something seasonal.

Now you ordered, "A salted caramel chocolate chip and a white chocolate pistachio please."

"Both today? What's the occasion?" On occasion, Wooyoung liked to see the shocked expression on your face whenever he asked a question and broke the ritual. It was always like you'd short-circuit as you figured out your answer.

"Nothing, I just wanted today to be a good day," you said, and for the first time, Wooyoung liked your answer.

So, after 8 years, he finally wanted to get to know you.

Honestly, it was sad that he waited this long, now that he was going to start college and wouldn't be at the cupcake shop anymore. He wanted to tell you that he'd be away next time you visited, but your visits were always to the point. You never really made room for small talk.

But that didn't mean you didn't notice when he left. You remember greeting the cashier, only to lock eyes with a familiar face, but not the same one.

"Good afternoon, dear," his mom greeted you, "What can I get you?"

At this point, you'd gotten so used to Wooyoung knowing your favorites or already letting you know what was seasonal that you didn't know what to say for a moment.

"Are you okay?" she asked after a moment and you snapped out of it.

"Yes, sorry," you said quickly, "Can I look at the display, please?"

"Of course," his mother said, moving out of the way for you.

She knew who you were, of course. Wooyoung was nothing if not a talker, and he'd been talking about you for as long as you'd been coming to the shop. At first about how annoying you sounded, then about your choice of cookies, then slowly about the little things he'd noticed about you. Of course she noticed that none of these things were things that you'd told him, other than your name.

She already knew your favorite cookies and that she was supposed to tell you the seasonal items. Wooyoung had briefed her on "What to do when y/n comes by". But she was nothing if not the reason her son was mischievous herself. She wanted to see what you'd do. She was satisfied by your flustered state. Wooyoung would definitely scold her when she told him about it later.

"You look lost," she said to you innocently, "Is something wrong?"

"No, everything is perfect, thank you," You attempted to appease her, which she found endearing.

When you couldn't find anything new, you doubted your ability to actually spot something that might have changed, so finally asked.

"Are there any new or limited flavors you have right now?" you asked, and Mrs. Jung shook her head. "No, but there will be some fall flavors next week."

"Oh, that sounds awesome, thank you so much," you said, "I'll definitely be back to try them." "She uses the words 'good', 'great', 'amazing', and 'awesome' depending on how much she likes something. she never uses any other word or any other phrasing," Wooyoung had told her offhandedly. She chuckled.

"Well, I look forward to serving you then," said Mrs. Jung. It was silent for a few moments, and you wondered why before you realized.

"OH! BUT- but I'll get a white chocolate pistachio, today. I'm so dumb, I'm so sorry," You apologized profusely. Mrs. Jung chuckled, "You are too cute. This is on the house, n/n."

You paused as she handed it to you.

"Oh my gosh thank you so much! Why?" you asked, flustered even more.

"As a gift for your patronage. I've been seeing you since you were little, do you remember?"

"Y-yes, I do... you remember my name from then?" you asked. "Well, Wooyoung told it to me," she chuckled, "I'm surprised you haven't asked about him."

"Oh, I wasn't sure if I was allowed to, I'm sorry," you apologized, and she clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "Stop saying sorry. You already said thank you for the cookie, and that's enough. Now thank you for sticking with us this whole time," she said warmly, patting your hands as she pushed the cookie into your hands.

Your smile was warm and bright. You tried to make it as wide as possible to convey your happiness and gratitude. You hoped she could see it.

She did see it. She saw how hard you were trying.

Wooyoung didn't think about you in college. You'd barely spoken as it was. You just happened to me in his thoughts when he thought about the cookie shop. You and the cookie shop were equivalent to him.

You didn't really think about him until you were at the cookie shop, and since that was often, you thought about him pretty often, never too much. Just a quick wonder of how he was doing, but you never asked. You didn't have to. His mom would tell you all about him anyway, and when you left, you'd forget.

You found it hard to hold a conversation, but Wooyoung's mother didn't seem to mind. She saw you listening intently, nodding and humming in time to make sure she knew you could hear every word. You appreciated her for that.

You got closer with his mother after some time, until one Thanksgiving, she was the one who was surprised.

"Hi Mrs. Jung, Happy Thanksgiving," you said, pulling up with a sweet treat and placing it on the window.

"Happy Thanksgiving, n/n, what's this!" You smiled bashfully, "This is a pie that I made. For you!"

"You're so sweet, n/n! Thank you so much!" she said, "What kind is it?"

You spoke animatedly to her as you told her about your favorite pie, and she was absolutely floored. Apparently, you'd learned of it from a video game and you decided to make it, and after a lot of trial and error, you perfected it to give out to your friends and family. She was touched that you'd put her on the list.

"You've been giving me free cookies for so long now, I thought I should give you something in return... and... thank you for being so nice to me," You said softly, your smile bright and genuine without any trace of overdoing it this time. You were finally relaxed.

Mrs. Jung couldn't help but lean over the window and pull you in by your face, planting a fat motherly kiss on your forehead.

"Really, y/n. Thank you," she said, "Me and my family are going to enjoy this pie together and I'm going to tell them all that you made it for us."

You tried not to look too ecstatic, but now that you felt comfortable around Mrs. Jung, you didn't really care to over or under-act anymore. You nodded, "I hope you all like it!"

Wooyoung knew his mom's cooking like the back of his hand, so when he came home for Thanksgiving and spotted an unfamiliar pie, he pointed at it immediately, looking at his mother with questioning.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Oh! N/n made it!" she said.

Wooyoung raised his brow. "N/n? Like Cookie girl N/n?"

His mother looked at him amused as she pulled something down from a shelf, "If she's the cookie girl, what are you? Cookie boy?"

"No way," Wooyoung scoffed, "I'm a cookie man, now, mom."

His mother chuckled as Wooyoung continued, "So why'd she give it to you?"

"I started talking to her, she's really sweet. Quiet, but she likes listening to me talk," she chuckled, "Apparently she liked it so much that it was worth giving me a pie. Isn't that nice?"

"Huh...," Wooyoung hummed, "You think she'll stop by tomorrow?"

"There's no pattern," she said thoughtfully, "But she comes by more often than she doesn't, so..."

You weren't looking up until you were five feet away from the window, bright smile on your face as you were ready to ask if Mrs. Jung liked the pie. Giving gifts were always your way of starting a conversation the next day. You'd practiced in your head.

"How did you like the pie?" "Oh, I'm so glad!" "That makes me happy!"

Seeing Wooyoung put a bit of a wrench in your plans, but you decided to try a little harder today. Now that you had more information about him through his mother, you could attempt to say something other than. "Hi! Thank you so much! Bye!"

Wooyoung smirked when he saw you pause on the sidewalk. You made eye contact with him, but clearly pretended that you didn't as you looked at your phone, typing furiously to your cousin as you verbalized (or textualized?) your gameplan.

Wooyoung pretended not to notice so that you'd feel confident enough to come over, and to his surprise, it really did cue you to start walking.

"Hi! Long time no see!" You said, resisting the urge to violently cringe at your over-enthusiastic tone.

"Yeah," Wooyoung chuckled. Before you could ask anything, he beat you to the punch.

"Your pie was great, by the way," he said, and you wanted to scream. Dammit. One question I could have asked, gone!

"Oh, That makes me so happy!" you responded, trying so hard not to chew through your lip as you internally bombed this interaction. I skipped the first two lines of the script!

"Um, so how- how was school? Is- is school. How is school?" you fumbled, "I mean college. How is college. College, right? Yes, your mom said college. Where do you go?"

Wooyoung looked at you incredulously. He'd never heard you say so many words, and considering how much you were tripping over yourself, he realized why you didn't say much.

He wanted to say something, tease you for being nervous, maybe insinuate that you might have a crush on him, but from the way you literally looked like you wanted a bus to come hit you to end this interaction, he figured that you wouldn't appreciate him giving you shit, even if it was light-hearted.

"I go to KQU," he said, trying to avoid chuckling at your antics and instead putting on a face of genuine interest in having a conversation with you. It wasn't like he wasn't interested in having a conversation with you, but he figured you responded better to sincerity over amusement, even if he was feeling both. "And I really like it."

You were sweating. You were happy that it was cold and that you were outside, otherwise you'd be taking a very obvious step backward right now. You were happy that this conversation wasn't a total bust yet, but you wanted to get out of it as soon as possible. Yet, still, you didn't want to waste this opportunity. You wanted to make friends, and you knew you'd never be friends with the cookie shop guy since he was older than you and you never crossed paths outside of this and Lord KNOWS you'd never ask for more than that, but this was at least good practice.

And if you ran away now, you'd never be able to show your face at the cookie shop and get this precious practice ever again. So you had to suck it up and try.

"What's your major?" You asked. Three words. You gave yourself some grace.

"Photography," he said with a smile, and you looked at him in awe.

"Oh wow, I love that you're doing art," you said, and he looked genuinely touched that you'd called it art, "I was really expecting you to say medicine or business major."

"Do I look like that!?" he asked in horror. "No!" you exclaimed, "No, not at all, but usually attractive people do normal jobs!"

Wooyoung smiled. He couldn't help himself this time. "You think I'm attractive?"

"I think your mom is really beautiful and you look like her," you said with a smile. It was quiet for a second before you said, "I'm also not blind." This was the only situation you were prepared for, surprisingly. You never overstated or understated a person's attractiveness. It was almost clinical how you evaluated it, though you were often afraid of making people think you liked them. At least you were good at saying no, if it came down to that.

"Well, thanks," Wooyoung replied, "I do agree that my mom is beautiful."

You couldn't help but giggle, and Wooyoung was proud of himself for making you laugh.

"So what about you? Have you started school yet? College, I mean," he asked.

"Not yet," you said, and he smiled, "You're gonna love it."

"I hope so," you breathed. It was quiet for another moment, both of you just looking at each other with small smiles until Wooyoung looked down.

"How many cookies are you getting today?" he asked, already putting one in the packet.

"You got any-" "We got Maple frosted, sweet potato marshmallow, and white chocolate cranberry, I put the maple frosted in there since it sounds like the one you'd like the most," he said without of thinking.

You were flabbergasted, mouth open, before you tried your best to hold back your smile, "Two cookies, please."

You watched as Wooyoung put a salted caramel chocolate chip in the bag and handed it to you. You took out your wallet, but Wooyoung immediately pushed it down. "You're not paying for shit anymore, when I'm here, okay?"

"I- Really?? Oh my gosh, thank you!" you exclaimed, taking the cookies, "Wh-why?"

"You're my favorite regular, and since I'm not around often anymore, giving you free cookies won't make us bankrupt," he chuckled, "So take them from me."

"...Thank you," you said softly, "Seriously... I'll make a pie for you to take back to college with you next time-"

"No- no, I need to watch my weight, I'm happy to have the ones you give to my mom," he chuckled.

"Are you dieting? I can make you something," you insisted.

"No, really, it's okay. This is to make up for the years we could have and should have been friends until now," he said.

"Oh," you said, not knowing what to do with your face and hoping it wasn't outwardly obvious. It was. "Okay."

"Great," he said, holding his hand out, "Friends?" "Yeah, friends," You replied.

You didn't get your hopes up in thinking that you guys would be real friends, the way he was friends with those boys from school back in the day, but it was nice to see him during your last summer before college, because after that... you didn't see him more than once or twice a year for about 3 years.

You were always happy to see him, but you especially needed this in the summer before your senior year. You were overwhelmed and you just needed your comfort cookies. You were prepared to buy the whole store.

You didn't realize that that might actually be the case.

Wooyoung was in the window with a tired smile on his face. You waved with an oblivious smile.

"Welcome back, grad!" you said, "How are you?"

"I'm okay, y/n. Figuring it out, I guess."

That was when you saw it. The sign on the window.

"Closing for business?" you asked, brows furrowed in concern.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I guess you were the only one keeping us in business y/n. You stopped coming every day and we stopped breaking even."

The look of dread on your face must have been intense because Wooyoung was quick to stop your spiraling before it started.

"Woah! Relax, relax. I was kidding," he said, "We love the cookie window, but my mom's getting old and business is slow. We'd keep it open as a passion project, but it's a family business and we don't have anyone else in our family to run it. My brother's too young."

You latched on to the only part of that sentence that didn't make you sad. "Oh, how old is your brother?"

"Six," he said with an affectionate smile on his face, "He's really cute, you haven't seen him with my mom?"

"I didn't realize he was your brother," I said in realization, "He was so young and you were so much older, I thought he might be a grandson or at least a nephew."

"Nope," he chuckled. "Um," you said softly, "So what are your plans for this place?"

"We own the property so we'll probably rent it out to another shop," he said with a shrug, "Maybe we'll take it back and open up again some day, but it doesn't seem like it."

"I see," You said, "Sucks that your brother won't grow up with it like you did."

"I thought about that," he replied, "But I think Kyungmin already has a special childhood with two older brothers that are kind of old enough to be his dad. He'll get over it."

"F-fair enough," you said.

Wooyoung frowned, "You're upset."

"I- I'm not to good with change. I feel like time is- is moving so quickly, I keep thinking I have more time and then I just lose another thing to it, and I've only given you like one pie-"

"Y/n, I'm not dying," Wooyoung chuckled, "I'll still be around."

"But I don't want to- I don't know where, and I don't know what you do outside of the cookie shop, and I'm not trying to intrude or-"

"Hey, woah," Wooyoung said as you suddenly collapsed into a squat, your head tucked into your knees.

Wooyoung looked at you self soothe for a second. He'd been meaning to for a while, and yeah, you were a little weird, but he kind of liked it.

"Y/n... do you want to hang out with me? Outside of the cookie window?" he asked, and you slowly raised your head, eyes furrowed as you asked slowly. "Hang out? And do.... what?"

"I don't know, what do you like to do?" "Don't ask me that," you said, chuckled to try and hide the heat in your body from showing, willing yourself not to sweat through your top in nervousness.

"But... why?" You asked.

"Because change doesn't have to be a bad thing," he said to you, "Time doesn't have to be slow, and you wouldn't be intruding or inconveniencing me if I were to see you outside."

"Change..."

"Change like our relationship being more than just cookie seller and cookie consumer, y/n."

You couldn't help but laugh and he grinned triumphantly once again. He really liked making you laugh.

"Okay...," you said softly, "And just to be clear, not like a date, right?"

"No, it is like a date," he confirmed with a nonchalant nod of his head.

You gaped and he looked at you seriously, not breaking a smile or anything.

"Seriously?" "Yes, what is so unbelievable about it?"

"Nothing," you said, covering your mouth to hide your smile, "But I'm going to warn you beforehand that I'm really awkward."

"Watch you not be awkward at all and we both have a really good time," he said, and you shook your head, "I'm warning you just in case because I am awkward."

"I don't believe you," he said, "and if you are, I've already seen the worst of it."

You gaped in horror and he laughed, "No seriously!"

"I'm going to die," You said with embarrassment.

"Don't die, please. I like you."

You were silent for a moment as you processed that.

"Where are we going?" You asked suddenly to move on from what he said. "Heyyy, I said I like you," Wooyoung pouted, leaning through the window to put his face closer to yours.

"Oh, thank you," you said, "When are we um... hanging out?"

"Let me take you to Taco Tuesday," he said, "At a restaurant I really like."

"Okay," you agreed, trying not to look too excited, but he caught on. Even your micro-expressions were obvious.

"And it's a date, y/n," he said, "Don't forget."

"Okay," you said, biting your lips, "A date."

And that was how you ended up being invited to Thanksgiving a year later at his mom's house. Your life had changed drastically, and while that was once daunting to you, you couldn't help but find that Wooyoung made things easier.

You'd found it hard to make friends, to stray from routine to do fun and exciting things, but just living was fun and exciting with Wooyoung. He made it easier to breathe.

And you could stop giving warnings to people about how awkward you were. Wooyoung did it for you.

"Everyone, this is my girlfriend, y/n. She's very awkward, but she's really lovely, so everyone be nice to her, okay?"

"Okay!" The family said in unison before his mom engulfed you in a hug.

"I manifested this when I called you cookie girl and cookie boy last Thanksgiving," she whispered, "Welcome to the family."

It turned out that, even if it took a long time, you didn't have to be someone else to be loved. You just had to love the things you loved until you received love back.

So even though you loved the Cookie shop that was now gone, it still loved you back. Through Wooyoung. Who made you love so much more.