Venita's Playground

The warm summer air lingered on as the sun took its resting place at the sea’s surface. Along the cobblestone paths were neighbors and strangers gathering before the extravagant mansion, each of them dressed to impress and hiding their faces to add to the allure of the unknown. Advertisements had been going out in the cities for weeks about the late spring ball, which fueled excitement among so many. It was an opportunity to mingle, rekindle, and allow for new friendships to bloom. Those who chose not to go were regrettably making a mistake of a lifetime, as some would tease.

Standing off in the distance, the young Au Ra watched as people flocked indoors with their friends, lovers, and strangers. All with someone, rarely none alone. This was a defining moment for the woman. She had managed to brave the outdoors and reunited herself with the nature of the world, but she had struggled to find the place where she truly felt part of with others. All week, she spent her well saved gil to invest in fine fabrics and dye just to prove to those back in the homeland that she wasn’t so without or broken in the head. Glistening in fine gold and black silk with all the frills and fluff, Venita slid on her mask and mustered up the remaining courage left inside to take her first steps forward into an unknown beginning.

In her younger years, the Raen listened to the tales of their makers. The clash between Dusk and Dawn paving the way for the birth of the ancestors. It was known as fact that the two great beings struggled with power before settling their match. Peers of hers were convinced of this raging war between Dusk and Dawn. Thus giving life to the idea their own lineages were precious and absolute, the better of the two. Xaela tribes were the insufferable other half of the Au Ra, better off reduced to nothing more than ash given their more barbaric way of life. The Raen sought to dominate through sophistication and blood-right, which left Venita questioning what made them any different than their brethren across the line.

Questioning the divide was one thing, but to also seek truths about the ancient tales was to tread into waters better left untouched.

Inside the mansion, the party raged on. Thunderous drums and music filled the halls with laughter from all around echoing room to room. Taking careful steps around the crowds, the Raen managed to squeeze past the large groups of people idling at the stairwell and found her ideal spot just south of the pastry table. The sweets neatly arranged by type and sizes! Bigger slices of pies and cakes filled the bottom shelves, whereas the smaller quick pick snacks laced the top shelves. Curiously, she tilted her head at the mass selection and knew then that if nothing came out of this event, at least she got to eat cake. Lots of cake.

Paying no mind to the dance floor, she missed the moment where the butler ran about to gather couples to the area. He mashed strangers, foes, friends, and lovers together to encourage them in taking part of the whole purpose of the night’s event! Once satisfied, he called attention to the floor. He had to call for it a few times before the room settled down and the music ceased. As he gave introductions, Venita became all too aware of what was happening and filled her plate with a few more tasty pieces before cramming herself into a nearby chair. After his grand announcements were complete, he motioned with a flick of his hand and the music picked back up. The slow wave of notes rising and falling like a gentle breeze on the water’s surface. It paved the way for those wrangled on the dance floor to find common purpose, be it by giving in or finding enjoyment in the arrangement. Though timid most of their steps were, something remarkable happened.

The Raen watched as the paired partners discovered the rhythm they shared with the other. Even if they fumbled for longer than their neighbors, there was this love of life which sparked between two souls. With balance came harmony, which in turn produced one of life’s most treasured moments. Venita could not help but see what she had known for all these years to be true. Back in the homeland, her ideals were dismissed as wild stories of an ill mind, but she knew it not to be so. The legend told of the bloody war waged between Dusk and Dawn, but had their ancestors been any wiser, they would have seen the dance between two beings. Dusk reached for Dawn to feel its warmth and the Dawn craved the Dusk’s endless embrace; together, their colors weaved between the lines sparking the explosion of purple and orange hues as they connected to one another. The opportunity to write and rewrite a moment in time.

It was almost prophetic watching the couples twirl and glide along the dance floor, especially as the music slowed to its end. There was a brief series of seconds were the partners could sense the world’s eyes upon them and it did not matter. The thoughts of what comes next was in their control, they were the creators of their own truths and futures. She watched as each individual spent their next seconds carefully and though no two choices were the same, she felt a warmth fill her soul as she witnessed the full cycle of what she had always known.

As beautiful as it was, a familiar pang rose in her heart and although she hadn’t been there for long, she knew it was time to go. Stuffing her face with one last delicious pastry, the Raen left as quietly as she arrived. Once outside, she found herself breathing easy again. Wrapping an arm around her front, she wandered on to the shoreline. She may have failed to make the friends she longed for, but the night was not wasted.

Boss, you have given me the opportunity to see more than others and I am full of worry that our troubles are only just beginning. There is this gnawing in my being about something missed, something crucial, and I must find it for you. Until then, the Blades retrieved a prisoner. The elder who was hunted down is now ours to question and the one who originally commissioned the first mission we took on weeks ago. It is in our best interests to learn as much as we can before we hand him back off to the authorities.

Always, Venita

PS: The Blades did a good deed. We opened our home to the boy who was caught up in a mess he didn’t ask for. The group gave him some of the riches to restart his life and help his family. I am hopeful this kindness will return to us ten fold.

An old letter with frayed edges was delicately held by Venita. She recalled the events before and after, which brought a heaviness to her heart again. The Blades were struggling to maintain peace among all the chaos they were enduring and she remembered how hopeful she was that the bit of good they performed would shine a new light on the company. Alas, it barely made a difference.

What would have been a commendable moment of a joint effort to take the innocents away from the brewing war had turned into this sliver of time lost when the casualties and issues outweighed the deed. 

“If only you could have seen,” she whispered to the man laying in the patient bed. He hadn’t moved or made a sound in days now. Venita was beginning to question the vial of medicine he received, but she was almost instantly reminded by a voice in her head quoting the good doctor.

‘Medicine is not instant and special gifts others have cannot be abused. There must always be a balance, do not forget and most importantly, have the patience.’

“Quickly, hand me the vial from up there. It is the one with a purplish hue.”

Scrambling across the room, the Raen stomped up on the ladder and snagged the vial. With ever the urgency, she rushed it to the Miqo'te who promptly grabbed it from her hand. Popping the top off, the good doctor poured the contents into the mouth of the unconscious Roe. He was badly bruised and battered. All across his body were scars from long ago now adorned with fresh wounds and some burns.

Nervously leaning over, the Raen stammered with an immeasurable amount of uncertainty, “What now?”

A soft shake of his head, the doctor peered up at the woman and offered a short lived frown. It was a break in character for him from his usual pensive stares. “We wait. Go gather more supplies so we can clean him up, this will be good practice for you on tending to long term patients.”

------

Awaking from his slumber, the Roe groaned in more confusion than agony. All he could recall was reaching for a hand and now the same one clung to the blades of grass surrounding him. Immediately shook to his core, he sat up and started to pat down himself in a desperate attempt to find his weapons and armour, but all he discovered were the simple linens adorned on his body which could never offer the protection he sought.

Peering with one eye at his surroundings, he tried to understand where he was. It was calm, brighter than he ever yearned for, and lush. The grass had been sprinkled with tiny flowers and their buds, so he figured he was in some sort of field but where? This was not his last place, he knew for certain as he could not forget the dust and dirt kicked up in the air.

The faces of curious and delighted folks filled the tiny square within the city underwater. Today was a special day as a visitor from above had managed to convince their performance piece would be a wise investment for the longevity of the town. Not that they needed permission to be there, but given the reclusive and isolated nature of the city under the sea, they still sought the approval in hopes to draw a robust crowd.

It was a gamble worth taking as most who resided within the cramped bubble had come out to see the performance. The aging citizens much more decisive in their first impression had peered on with a look of steady caution. Meanwhile, the younger ones appeared eager to see the newest visitors to their small area of the world. To so many who lived beneath the sea’s surface, this was a rare opportunity to catch a glimpse of the glamour from above. It illuminated the mysteries and wonders they had been quietly spoken about.

A makeshift stage had been set with recycled planks and crates, but the average individual wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference because it was decorated in such remarkable fabrics and heavy beading. A variety of colors on the purple spectrum were layered beautifully to match the flowing waters of the sea and the gold beads added a flare that gave just the right dazzling effect when the light touched it. 

The wonder did not stop there. Lining the outer bottom area of the stage were a few peculiar looking individuals wearing dulled grays and sitting before strangely shaped boxes. It would later be told that the odd boxes were musical instruments that complimented the intensity of the performance. It was not long before more outsiders filled the main stage. They matched in their outfits, all wearing the vibrant lighter shades of red with the same gold colors laced through. It was difficult to catch every detail, but it appeared as if some of the threads in the fabrics on the performers were also threaded with thin pieces of gold to give a shimmer all over. Subtle, but eye catching.

Not long after the performers filled the stage, the sounds of beating drums echoed from the bottom area and the crowd hushed to give a hyper focus attention on the now stilled figures patiently awaiting the next beat. What came next was nothing short of gorgeous, heady, and exhilarating. The performers turned the music being played with this story without words where their bodies twisted, flipped, bent, and so much more. When one beat slowed, the next one gathered the next flourish and the performers carried on. Watching the show in real time had made the rest of the day stand still. So many were attracted to the glamorous show that by the time it had finished, they had hardly remembered what it was they had to do before attending. 

It goes without saying, but as the show finished the crowd erupted in applause. This small community had been charmed by the wonders of a world outside of their tiny bubble under the sea. For many, it was a once in a lifetime experience and tomorrow, the day will carry on as it did yesterday and all the days before it. However for the slim few, they were touched by how incredible it was and it left them wondering how to move on to tomorrow after seeing such glitz in action. It was almost as if they had been fueled by a piece of the performance that ignited this desire for so much more than what they had now. Not that their lives were so insufferable, but it wasn’t a life for them. It most certainly was not the life meant for a very specific Raen who could not stop talking about the show for weeks.

Drapes barely dusted hung from the highest points of the ceiling in the overcrowded meeting room. From the doorway, the entrance was cluttered with stacks of books and reports scattered across the small desk, shelves, and floor. To the other side, there was a massive table fitted with the most current map of the world. Little figures, towers, and buildings appeared to be littering the surface, but in reality they were in their individual space for a reason. The focal point of the room was the grand U shaped table adorned with flecks of gold in the dark wood. One each side of the table were seven plush chairs, perhaps too luxurious for this space. Finally at the point, or head of this table, was a large chair built from steel. Usually, the meeting room was filled to the brim with family and friends gathered around to listen to the latest news and get new assignments, but tonight there was only the old man Roe and Raen.

Though they were only a few steps away from one other, they might as well have been miles apart with all the tension in the room. His liquor glasses either partially full or toppled over and ash from his cigars spread across the once well kept surfaces of the room. 

Managing to grumble out in annoyance, “What do you want?”

Nervously rocking on her heels, the Raen cautiously approached and maintained the gentleness in her voice. “I have come to check on you and ensure you are taking care of yourself.” He scoffed almost immediately and waved a hand at her dismissively as he turned his attention to stare longingly at the bottles of liquors he had carelessly left too far from his reach.

“It is never too late to try again, Boss. I know I am no expert in this field and I am without real merit in solving all the issues here, but we all believe you can set it down and find strength, comfort even, elsewhere.” Her eyes drifted to the bottles as well when he didn’t bother to gaze back to her as she spoke.

His fist violently hit the table and made the Raen flinch. “Do you think I am not aware? Do you believe I do not agree with all of you? I hear it each and every day. If not from you, from the doctor, from my partner, from them ALL. I know what I need to do, but can’t you all leave a grown man to wallow in what little dignity he has for one night?!”

“If.. If I may, Boss. Should you allow yourself this, then what comes next? What happens when tomorrow or the many moons passing after that this happens again? If you cannot find another way that does not lead you here yo--”

Immediately cutting her off, he bellowed his retort that made the walls wriggle in response. “Get out, Venita.”

Flowers in the vase had long lost their beauty months ago. Beyond wilted, what remained were droopy dried out petals on brittle stems. They were the last bunch of flowers to be picked by the two of them. She could recall the day almost perfectly because it was one of those moments caught in time where it just didn’t seem real, but she knew it was.

Venita was convinced he had loved her, even if only for a short time. He did not stand to gain power or wealth from their relationship, so there was nothing for him to immediately seize as she heard about from so many other failed companionships. She remembered how he used to watch her from afar, those early days of discovering his own feelings for the Raen. He was timid, but calculated in his approach. Meanwhile, she couldn’t catch a clue as to what was going on. Ever naive and oblivious to the advances of another simply because she did not know more about these subjects in life. It took others pointing it out in the broad daylight for her to finally realize he wanted more than her warm friendship. It was a feeling like no other. A special budding of emotions that grew within as she had earned his affections.

Then suddenly, it was like a firecracker erupting in the skies. They bursted with all the raw emotions of love and adoration for one another. She had never experienced the feelings of being smittened by a single glance or touch. He just had a certain way of making her melt without trying. She would write for days about what new feeling or experience she was going through now that he was part of her life. The light of it too.

However what she could not see or expect was that like any firecracker in the sky, they are bound to fizzle out. Though she had not grown tired of him, he had of her. She could not see as clearly as she did now, but his shine from the sky of color they painted had faded dramatically in what was left of their relationship. It was difficult for her to grapple with the fact that people could demolish everything once built in a swift motion. All it took for her was a note left in the night, yet she knew that was more than others ever received in situations like hers.

These months of solitude had taught her that matters of the heart are friable. Love can make the heart swell with such an immense power and heartbreak can crumble the emotions & memories into dust within seconds. The next part to this was what comes after? Is there an after when she figured life would be absolute in one way and now she is forced to live in a reality which challenges it? How do people of the surface world navigate these dark waters?

A - Always think quickly.

D - Don’t be overly witty.

R - Remember to be precise.

O - Opportunities are like doors. When you open one, you step into a new world.

I - Individuals differ from one another.

T - Treat all with kindness.

Proud of her work, the Raen rushed to her mentor and pushed the parchment on his desk. Beaming with a smile, she impatiently tapped her fingers together as if to gain his attention. After some time, it worked. He peered to the normally shy child before waving his fingers to send her off. As the Raen left the room, he narrowed his eyes down at the paper and read over the assignment submitted. It was a far left from what he had tasked the group of children with, yet he found it to be a tinge amusing.

“Don’t be foolish, you must contend with what could be a reality. Simply saying you do not believe will not make it any less true if it were to become fact, Venita.”

Incredibly frustrated, the Raen displayed a rare glimpse of emotion which was not of her usual happy, easily excited self. A huff escaped her lips as she fought back the urge to spar in words with the Miqo’te. There was no malice in what he referred to, in fact one could argue he was merely attempting to prepare her for an outcome that may be less than perfect. All he had heard for months now was a ‘new’ lead drawing the Raen to the idea she was any closer to finding the only sibling she had lost so long ago.

“Have you considered that I may have already given such an idea some thought? I rather not dwell on something so sad when there is nothing to point to it as being fact. It could be as you said weeks ago, he may be living another life on the surface and I have not explored enough of it to stumble upon him.”

Furrowing his brows, the Miqo’te laid back his ears before trying a gentler approach in the conversation. This was not his forte as he did not share the same endless patience she had when doing so for others, including himself. “Venita, that’s not entirely what I said. Yes, I mentioned he could be living this new life, but also added that he may not want to be found. If the turmoil at home was bad for you, imagine what it may have been like with him long before you were ever thought of to be born. It’s not terribly uncommon for men and women to simply disappear.”

It would be dishonest of Venita to be dismissive of something she hardly understood herself. How could she speculate to such depth as he did? Was it all in the experiences he had with others? Or maybe he was used to those around him disappearing without a single goodbye? She couldn’t allow these questions to weigh her down, it would only distract her from one of the few goals she brought to the surface in search of a better life.

“I mentioned it before, you do not have to partake in this matter. I am perfectly capable of locating someone and I can find my way around better than I did yesterday,” her subtle tremble in her voice defying the confidence she was attempting to put forth.

What he may have lacked in patience and tact, he made up for in small gestures. As he approached the Raen, he pulled her into his embrace and held her in a long (much needed) hug. “You don’t have to be brave for everything, Venita. This is not something worked on lightly and you are not alone in a pursuit like this. There are others, perhaps they can help too and give us some advice.”

Us.

It was the first time he had used the term and she did not let herself forget it. Hopeful eyes peered up at him as she responded, “I apologize for seeming as if I am not listening. I promise, I am. All I have ever wanted to know was what happened next after he left. I cannot ask home for help, Father refuses to acknowledge my brother.. His own son. This is all I have and if the truth revealed he simply no longer wanted what was part of his life back in the sea or that he may have suffered an end to this life, then I will be content with the answer. Until I know more, I must keep searching. He would do the same for me, just as you have done for your own family.”

The sounds of crumpling papers filled the silence lingering within the office. It was a quiet night, one filled with the rich scent of bourbon and cigar smoke. Inside, the decor was hardly warm and welcoming. Littering what empty spaces were left on the walls were scrolls of assignments and schedules needing the attention of someone, anyone by this point. In the corner, there was a shelving unit filled to the brim with bottles of every liquor one could imagine. Some unopened, but most partially used or serving as ‘decorative’ pieces to keep the space filled.

Hunched over the desk, the hulking Roe rubbed at his smooth bald head as he squinted his eye at the newest letter to arrive. Cursing the sender under his breath, the man crumpled the parchment and tossed it across the room. This was not the life he had intended to build, but here he was responsible for so many and carrying the ever growing burdens of leadership upon his shoulders. He had become an avatar of strength and hope to those within the Company, but they could not see his true turmoil.

Under all the bulk of muscle and stoic gazes was an uncertain man questioning the depth of his ability to solve his own problems let alone that of a company he decided to build. At the time, it did not seem like it would be a bad idea. Who could turn down the opportunity to grab some friends or strangers and run across the world taking on odd adventures others wouldn’t dare to touch? It wasn’t about the money or gifts paid in the end, but the thrill of the hunt and discoveries made along the way.

Or so he believed.

As the company grew, so did its problems. Riddled with his own insecurities and doubts, he struggled to see why so many stayed. What did he have to offer when it felt like their days were cast in cold shadows and dramatic endings? Was this an unknown part of the company’s life adventure he thought could never be true so long as they played it relatively safe? He could protect if he knew the dangers ahead of time. He would calculate every moment and predict what comes next without having to leave it to chance. For what it was worth, it worked.. At least for some time.

When the cracks in the company’s foundation began to surface, so did those in his leadership style. He was never one for immediate confrontation unless tasked for it in a battle which required little to no words spoken. He could let his weapon of choice speak on his behalf, but now with a company filled with personalities it was much harder to justify an axe thrown into a table as a way to ‘ask’ for silence.

“Why does it feel so heavy here, brother?” The child’s brilliant white hand pressed against her brother’s chest where his heart lingered. Sheltered from horrid truths left behind on the surface world, the young girl didn’t know any better when she uttered such words. Oblivious to what pain and suffering meant in the wake of death and destruction, but nonetheless, he offered her solace in one warm, if faint, smile.

“Ah.. and so you can sense it now too,” he exhaled with a tinge of amusement in his tone. The curious child staring at her brother as if lost on the meaning of his words. “Of all the stories you have been told, the ones which carry the most pain are often left unspoken. This ‘heavy’ feeling you sense is nothing more than the many memories of pains, hardships, and a life long gone on the surface world.”

Adjusting on his seat cushion, he motioned to the open streets of Sui-no-Sato where the people cruised around one another as they scattered to complete their errands. “One day when you are much older, you too will carry your own heaviness in your heart. It is a reminder of the past, the pain once felt in a time we did not understand why, and then it will mend to give you peace even if the truth lets you down.”

The lavender haired child furrowed her brows as she tried to comprehend the wave of remarks her brother threw out, but again having never known a true suffering in her life, she couldn’t grasp the meaning threaded between sentences. Instead, she politely nodded to his teachings and said nothing more.

In their shared silence, his heart did weep for the burden it carried that even she could not see.

----

“I don’t understand,” the Raen cried out in frustration as her balled fists slammed into the table. The shock to the wood rattling the water bowl filled with flowers and oils nearly tipping it over entirely.

For days on end, she had spent every waking moment searching for her brother again. Not once had she seen his face in the crowds, nor in her visions. It was as if he was lost in a fog, eluding her for reasons unknown. It also did not help that her father was so shutdown to offering her a sliver of information which may change the entire course of her efforts in searching for her brother.

“Why can’t I see you!?” The Raen exclaimed into the nothingness around her.

Her shoulders slumped as she felt an unfamiliar heaviness fill her heart. Unbeknownst to her, the fit of emotions swelling within was much more than her heart aching to know a beautiful truth, one only to be sated when she thought seeing the brother she had lost all those years ago. Tears began to form and slowly rolled down her cheeks as her frustrations mounted.

The silence in the house did not help, but it was a necessary one. Her dearest friends had departed in hopes of pulling the information long sought from her father, but she knew in her heart, they would not be successful. It mattered not how much she told them this mission was not their burden to carry, they chose to. These people who had once been strangers were willing to lay down their precious time to return the favor when she did so herself for them. This wasn’t unexpected, but Venita was too embarrassed to admit how much she admired the strength they had. They probably would think her childish as she looked to them as if they were heroes written in the history books, achieving the impossible, overcoming the darkest of days, and still managing to hold on to one another through it all.

Knowing her friends and all their greatness put her upset self at ease for the time being. She made her way out of the loft and ascended to the personnel quarters to patiently await the arrival of her friends, the real heroes of the world.

The day has passed and the night carries on. I am late again, though late for what I am unsure of. It has been some time now since I have left Mother and Father, but I find myself feeling punished from afar for enjoying simple pleasures such as staying out late. It is not because the company I keep.. Mostly because there is no company, but mainly for the fact that I simply enjoy watching people.

The surface world is full of personalities and conversations I could not find back home. I saw a man and woman arguing over the shade of red being painted on a wall. Then not too far from them, a lyrical genius was singing a song about the pale skies above and wishing for a drop of rain to come this way. His eyes could set on anything and the words he sung flowed like bending rivers coursing through the land. Oh, I could have sat for hours and simply listened.

Why is eating much more enjoyable after the sun has set? For some odd reason, I crave it more than I do when the sun is shining at the highest point in the day. The masters of these delicious treats have assured me there’s no magic or difference in when they made it, but I am convinced something makes everything much more tasty when the stars are out.

.. I have forgotten mostly why I was trying to write today. Keeping up with this journal is much harder than I had given it credit for. Tomorrow, I have an interview for .. well, I am not sure what to call it, but it is an opportunity without a doubt. I am trying to keep myself positive, but how is it possible that I have not shared any news of this life I am living and yet feel Father’s baleful presence looming nearby. 

I promise to keep trying, even if it will never make him proud.

Always,

With arms stretched out, the gleeful Raen smiled as brightly as the sun towards the house. The massive structure cast all the right shadows across the lush lawn and it was in plain sight of the shimmering ocean only a few steps away. Delighted as she was, the man nearby stood stoic as ever. His gaze barely lifted as he studied the house, something she was all too familiar with him doing. Eager to stir a bit of excitement from him, the Raen spun about and reached for his hands.

“Can you believe it? We spoke so much of a place to be our own and now here we are. It is exciting and scary, but it is our home. We are free to do all we dreamed about and safe from the chaos. Our opportunity for more.”

Despite all her warm attempts, he remained unmoved. Disheartening to say the least to the ever inspired Raen, but she had convinced herself these manners of his were only out of protection and one day, he too will appreciate this life they aim to build together.

-----

The lights inside have stayed dimmed for months and the once decorated tables filled with sweets were now empty. The last flowers in the nearby vases had long lost their color and life. They were wilted and slumped, much like the Raen who spent her days quietly staring at the fireplace. 

It had been more than half a year since he disappeared. A note barely explaining his departure, but it made clear he would never return. She didn’t understand where it all went wrong. Was it because of the turmoil at the Blades? Had the chaos infected his very being leaving him with opened wounds she could not help him heal? Or was he simply tired of her?

Among so many firsts in her life, heartbreak was on a scale she could not measure. Once so oblivious to his flirtatious ways, how could she be just as so when he was slipping away? The young Raen tried to again decipher this foreign meaning by thinking back to every memory they shared. From the outside, they were as so many couples are. They shared in laughter, adventure, and stories. He wasn’t cruel to her, but maybe she was too naive to pick up on it as such. Despite all his longing and desire for her, it felt at times as if he kept an ocean’s length away from her. She knew he had been burned in the past by lovers who took advantage of his affections, but he seemed to believe history would repeat itself no matter who he surrounded himself with. Try as she may, she could not fix his broken edges. It wasn’t her place to do so and not certainly because she didn’t want to. 

The truth revealed itself later where the letter tried to hide it. He had moved on rather quickly, far before he let her go. All the days she spent mourning the loss of his warmth, she was reliving the grief as a foolish woman. Why would anyone inflict such pain to another? Was it too much to say what they had was not enough? She could understand better if he had simply said as much, but running off into the night with only a letter to explain the farewell was cowardly. Yet as mad as she wanted herself to be, she could not shake the emptiness and loss that had filled her.