ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ⠀ ⠀𝘢𝘯 ⠀ ⠀𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

when    we    come     𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄   ⎯   𝐓𝐎   ⎯   𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄     with    the     [   𝗗𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟    ]    HIMSELF,     whether    we    intend    to    or    not,    dear    believers     ⸺     we    are    drawn    to    him    by    𝐎𝐔𝐑    𝐎𝐖𝐍    𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒.        there    is    a    shadow    amiss,        (    DEEP    )     within    our    hearts,    WITHIN    OUR    MINDS,       in    a    place    that    most    DON'T    EVEN    KNOW    exist    within    themselves.     [    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋    𝐈𝐒    𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀    𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋    𝐓𝐎    𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄    𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇𝐒    ╱    𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑    𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑   !       ]     and    though    you    may    T    R    E    M    B    L    E       before    the    beast,    you    should    make    it    EASIER    ON    YOURSELF    and    a   c   c   e   p   t    what    it    is    that    he    bestows    upon    you.

                    𝘛𝘏𝘌     𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋     𝗛𝗔𝗦

                                𝐀     𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍     𝙁𝙊𝙍    Y̷͉͓̺̗̪͑̑͊͆̔̕͝Ọ̴̤̺͙͔̗̱͕̮̔U̴̹͈̒̃̈́ !

(  various  dialogue  prompts  to  send  to  your  worst  enemy  (affectionate).  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ oh great, it's you again. ❜

❛ you? kill me? that's funny. ❜

❛ for being someone you hate, i'm sure on your mind a lot. ❜

❛ you're the last person i wanted to see, actually. ❜

❛ do us both a favor. stay away from me. ❜

❛ you really are an asshole, you know that? ❜

❛ i'm the asshole? what does that make you then? ❜

❛ sometimes i think you must hate me. ❜

❛ i thought you said you never wanted to see me again. ❜

❛ if you want me to go, then you have to tell me to leave. ❜

❛ well, someone's cranky today. ❜

❛ well, someone needs to shut the fuck up. ❜

❛ just stay out of my way. ❜

❛ of all the idiots in the world, i'm stuck with you. ❜

❛ what is it you want this time? ❜

❛ sometimes i wonder if you're in love with me. ❜

❛ do you honestly think this is easy for me? ❜

❛ why would i ever want to be friends with you? ❜

❛ can we please just talk? ❜

❛ there is nothing for us to talk about. ❜

❛ you can yell at me later. just let me help you. ❜

❛ touch me, and you're dead. ❜

❛ oh, so now you care? ❜

❛ there is something deeply wrong with you. ❜

❛ i know i'm the last person you probably want to see, but... ❜

❛ you don't think we could be friends, do you? ❜

❛ i'm tired of fighting against you. ❜

❛ don't pretend you give a shit about me. ❜

❛ you're an idiot, but... i trust you. ❜

❛ oh, don't be cute. ❜

❛ wait, did you just say that i'm cute? ❜

❛ we're not good for each other. ❜

❛ if i say yes, will you shut up? ❜

❛ don't you have to be stupid somewhere else? ❜

❛ maybe we should kiss just to break the tension. ❜

❛ i'm sorry i can't turn off my feelings as easily as you. ❜

❛ maybe there's a universe out there where we're friends. ❜

❛ how can you be so smart yet so dumb at the same time? ❜

❛ don't think this changes anything between us. ❜

❛ you look ridiculous in that outfit, by the way. ❜

❛ if you die, i'll kill you. ❜

❛ is that a challenge? ❜

❛ ah, so you're not heartless after all. ❜

❛ i don't think i've ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ you never cared about me, so why now? ❜

❛ why didn't you kill me when you had the chance? ❜

❛ i don't even remember why we started fighting. ❜

❛ i don't have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you're not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❝            NOW,    NOW,    jax    ⸺       i   can’t   just   go   around   letting   you   all   break   the   rules   when   you   want   to !    if   i   let   you   break  ONE    rule,   you’ll   want   to   break   all   of   them,   and    WHO    KNOWS    what   havoc   that   may   cause    !            ❞

❝         you     know     what     i     mean,     you         -       THE     JOURNAL,  tell     me     what     you     DID!          ❞

she    tears    through    the    bedsheets    and    the    blankets    adorning    her    bed,  ADMITTEDLY     HYPERVENTILATING     A     BIT     as    she    does.    her    clothes    feel    much, much too    tight    around    her    throat.    just    as    the    nausea    was    about    to    begin    settling    heavy    in    her    stomach    ;     SHE     FINDS     IT.     the    leather    -    bound    notebook,    decorated    in    shades    of    blue    and    red,    with    a    golden    yellow    spine    holding    it    together.    desperately,    she    clutched    it    to    her    chest,    flipping    quickly    through    the    pages.     NONE     WERE     TORN     OUT.     he’d    been     …      telling    the    truth.

she’s       admittedly       begun       to     PANIC     a       bit,    tearing   through   her   bedroom   with   her   back   to   the   rabbit   until   a   once  PRISTINELY    DECORATED    SPACE    is   littered   with   mess.   the   budding,   familiar   tightness   in   her   throat   grows   steadily,   and   when   she   turns   around,   there’s   something            .    .    .             F   R   A   N   T   I   C       in   her   gaze.

All it takes is one glance of the queen who saunters on stage for Cyrus to feel his slow heart suddenly pick up the pace. The meagre amount of blood and rare meat consumed earlier in the day struggle to keep up with the flutter that wants to escape his chest. It's enough to bring a fluster to his porcelain complexion.

She moves fluidly, shimmers like the stars and by God- even looks straight at him. Preceives him. Walks to him. Speaks to him. Only him.

"Y-yes," Cyrus answers, startling a bit at the echo of the microphone, at his own voice playing back to him from huge speakers at the sides of the stage. He has never seen nor experienced such contraptions before. It's fascinating.

And it's a bit terrifying, too. With everyone's eyes on him and the gorgeous performer. With everyone hearing what they're saying. Each breath, each stutter. The stage has suddenly extended to his table, and all further words seem to have escaped from him. All he sees, all he can process is the beauty and the charismatic aura of her, of Angel Dust. Her soft voice, her New Yorkian accent. Her enchanting blue eyes and immaculately painted face. She is a piece of art. He absolutely melts as her hands slide over his rigid shoulders.

Cyrus will have to write a personal letter of gratitude to the author of his self-help book.

"...My name is Cyrus, Miss" he barely manages to say, "It's been a lovely show, you are brilliant." Someone whistles, many point out his British accent.

He looks around at the wooing and applauding crowd, feeling himself fluster even more. But the crowd is not against him. They're all supportive, they are queer, like him. They're colourful and loud, and completely opposite to the greyness of his home back in England. Cyrus finds himself a tad emotional at it all. He manages a smile and slightly leans into the microphone. The scent of Angel Dust's hair products and... perfume..? Enter his system inebriatingly.

"...Thank you, New York," he says shyly, well aware this wasn't expected of him.

He'd register more of the applause that roars at his proclamation if he wasn't too busy peering at Angel Dust's face again. He, feeling ever so brave, gently offers to take her hand into his and place a kiss on the back of her palm.

❝    WELL,  baby,  i’ve been called a lotta’ things, but bein’ called  ‘ BRILLIANT ‘  by a voice that sexy?  THAT’S  GOTTA  BE  A  NEW  ONE.     ❞     but she  GRINS  at him, perfectly manicured fingernails creeping up and playing with the hair on the back of his neck, carding fingers through long, black tresses.  SHE  STARES  AT  HIM  LIKE  SHE’S  ADMIRING  SOMETHING  ETHEREAL  /  a work of art she’s never had the chance to properly view before.  

AND IN A WAY,  he  IS.  sharp, distinct features, a deep wardrobe, almost snake - like eyes that bore into her, not unkindly. he isn’t undressing her with his gaze alone, he’s   …   ADMIRING HER SOFTLY.  she presses her lips together, popping her gloss  /  an absentminded tick.

❝   everybody give our new friend a ‘lil welcome for me !    ❞

through the alcohol - laced cheers that rang through the club,  HE  KISSES  HER  HAND,  and she swears the breath leaves her lungs. his lips are   …   cold, but not unwelcome, sending a shiver up her back as they pressed into the skin of her hand that he held so firmly.  ANGEL  IS  LOST  IN  WATCHING  HIS  MOUTH.  the small, shy grin he gives as he kisses her hand, just beneath the line of her wrist. the way his lips curl up a little, like he’s embarassed to smile too wide. he doesn’t let her hand go right away, and it takes EVERY OUNCE OF SELF CONTROL not to lace their fingers together.

BEAUTIFUL  IS  A  WORD  MANY  HAVE  USED  TO  DESCRIBE  HER.  perhaps it was   ….    VAIN,  but it no longer felt like a COMPLIMENT when she was called beautiful while in drag. it felt so much more like a descriptor.  WASN’T  THAT  THE  POINT,  ANYWAY?  she’s a performer, she’s a work of art. she’s meant to take the attention of any room she walks into.  BUT  ….  

something about the way he spoke the word   ;   and she could blame it on the accent, the lowness of his voice, the genuine adoration he spoke it with, but it felt   ….   different. she laughs away from the microphone, leaning in close to the shell of his ear.    

TREMBLING HANDS turned the volume up as loud as it would go, blasting pop music through cheap speakers. he knew he was likely disturbing everyone within the block of apartments, not in the least his roommate, but he didn't care. not late at night, and not now, in the early hours of morning after returning from val's penthouse, once more with bruises on his thighs and blood on his lips.

he didn't give a shit about the noise complaints they might get - the music was a desperate attempt to push away the tightness in his chest, the shortness of breath, the impending sense of doom that washed over him in relentless waves. as the vocal hook repeated on loop, he gasped for air between tracks, wondering how long he could use the distracting melodies to keep the panic at bay this time.

the panic attacks always started the same way - his hands would tremble slightly at first, then the shaking would intensify until his whole body quivered. his heart would pound erratically in his chest, the palpitations making him feel like the organ was going to burst through his ribcage. and as the shortness of breath set in, anthony would fumble for his music player, turning it up as loud as the speakers could manage in a desperate attempt to anchor himself.

BUT IT RARELY HELPED FOR LONG.

anthony sank to the floor, his back to the wall as he drew his knees to his chest. the more he struggled to draw air into his constricted lungs, the more disconnected he became. he could hear the sobs, wracking through through his body as his surroundings became distorted. but not in the way he needed - not like it did with val.

HE  FEELS  THE  MUSIC  BEFORE  HE  TRULY  REGISTERS  THAT  HE’S  HEARING  IT.  deep, rumbling bass that wraps a hand around his frame and SHAKES HIM.   (  this was a more - than - common occurance, it seemed.  )    anthony returning home at a frankly UNGODLY hour, when the sun had long since dipped beneath the horizonline and darkness blanketed the outside of the apartment like a thick, welcomed fog.  THE  DOOR  WOULD  SLAM   /   THE  MUSIC  WOULD  BEGIN.  

it had seemed, though, that such was occuring so much more OFTEN than it had when the two had moved into their apartment together at first. a bi - weekly event turned weekly, which turned nearly DAILY as time kept passing. a once mild inconvienience had become something that dug its claws into the back of alastor’s mind. 

(   THAT  BOY  WOULD  DRIVE  HIM  INSANE  BEFORE  HE  EVEN  TURNED  THIRTY  -  )

alastor stands, book abandoned in his reading chair as he stormed down the hallway, jaw tight and his hands balled into fists. with a breath, he goes to knock at the boy’s bedroom door, only to feel it    ….    OPEN  as his knuckles brushed against it   (  odd,  he’d  usually  be  so  careful  to  lock  the  door  ⸺   )     

HE  TURNS  THE  KNOB  TO  LOWER  THE  VOLUME,  BUT  A  NEW  SOUND  HITS  HIS  EARS  /  and dear lord, its so much worse than any trashy pop music could’ve ever sounded.

soft, choked gasps for air, muffled by anthony pressing his face between his knees. each exhale sounded like a DESPERATE SOB  ;  like the blonde’s body was trying to spit out its own lungs. if anthony had noticed the music turning down, HE  DIDN’T  MAKE  IT  KNOWN.  he simply  SHRANK  FURTHER  INTO  HIMSELF,   as if curling up tighter could make him any smaller, any less VISIBLE.

alastor stood in the doorway as if he were frozen in time, his hand glued to the speaker as he watched the trembling of anthony’s small shoulders. he stares at the steady rhythm of teardrops falling between the other boy’s knees  ;   he’s  CRYING.  each teardrop mixing with the remnants of dried blood washing from his face, hitting the floor beneath him in a stain of off - red. 

(     in  some  distant  memory,  his  mother  sits  in  the  same  position    /    and  she  looks  so  much  smaller,  when  he’s  used   to   seeing   her   stand   so  proudly   /   the  world  looks  so   much  bigger  &.  colorful  when  you’re  barely  five   years  old,  and  you  don’t  really  understand  where  that  kind  of  pain  comes  from.    )

(  an  assortment  of  smut  /  nsfw  implied  dialogue  prompts  with  not  so  explicit  language.  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ i’ve been thinking about you all day. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ how badly do you want me? ❜

❛ i can’t get enough of you. ❜

❛ i’ve never done something like this before. ❜

❛ i like being close to you. you’re warm. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜

❛ i’m not jealous. ❜

❛ shh. there’s people in the other room. ❜

❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜ 

❛ i won’t bite. unless you’re into that sort of thing. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ would you like to go somewhere a little more private? ❜

❛ i’ll take care of you. ❜

❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you. ❜

❛ take off your clothes. ❜

❛ i’m going to ruin you. ❜

❛ show me how much you missed me. ❜

❛ is this okay? ❜

❛ you know you love me. ❜

❛ i want you to feel good. ❜

❛ i want this. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you’re such a tease. ❜

❛ want me to model these for you? ❜

❛ we have to make this quick. ❜

❛ what are you looking at? ❜

❛ it’s hot when you talk back. ❜

❛ you don’t have to be gentle. i won’t break. ❜

❛ don’t you know what you’re doing to me? ❜

❛ i really want to kiss you right now. ❜

❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. ❜

❛ this is a one time thing. ❜

❛ you know where to find me. ❜

❛ did i say you could stop? ❜

❛ you’re soaked. let me grab you a towel. ❜

❛ i want to see you. ❜

❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜

❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜

❛ you look good with my hands around your throat. ❜

❛ i’ll be good, i promise. ❜

❛ you’re really good at that. ❜

❛ shut up and kiss me already. ❜

❛ you better watch your fucking mouth. ❜

❛ don’t mind me. just enjoying the view. ❜

❛ tell me what you want. ❜

❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜

❛ and where do you think you’re going? ❜

❛ if you called just to get off on my voice, i’m hanging up. ❜

❛ i shouldn’t allow myself to get this close to you. ❜

❛ what if i hurt you? ❜

(  lyric  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  various  hozier  songs.  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ i’ve walked the earth and there are so few here that know how dark the night and just how cold the wind can blow. ❜

❛ i’ve no more kept my warmth than blood upon the snow. ❜

❛ it’s not my arms that will fail me, but this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❜

❛ the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you. ❜

❛ i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. ❜

❛ i’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife. ❜

❛ good god, let me give you my life. ❜

❛ so tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes. ❜

❛ every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside. ❜

❛ you knew who i was with every step that i ran to you. ❜

❛ would things be easier if there was a right way? ❜

❛ honey, there is no right way. ❜

❛ i fall in love just a little, a little bit every day with someone new. ❜

❛ when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, i feel like a person for a moment of my life. ❜

❛ you don’t know what hell you put me through. ❜

❛ there’s something tragic about you. ❜

❛ i have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me. ❜

❛ i have never known hunger like these insects that feast on me. ❜

❛ i’d be home with you. ❜

❛ there’s nothing sweeter than my baby. ❜

❛ no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her. ❜

❛ what did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth? ❜

❛ i will not ask where you came from. i will not ask and neither should you. ❜

❛ just put your sweet lips on my lips. we should just kiss like real people do. ❜

❛ i know who i am when i’m alone. i’m something else when i see you. ❜

❛ you don’t understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need. ❜

❛ don’t let me in with no intention to keep me. ❜

❛ don’t feed me — i will come back. ❜

❛ i’ve known the warmth of your doorways. through the cold, i’ll find my way back to you. ❜

❛ still my heart is heavy with the hate of some other man’s beliefs. ❜

❛ i need you to run to me, run until you feel your lungs bleeding. ❜

❛ when i was a child, i heard voices… some would sing and some would scream. ❜

❛ i learned the voices died with me. ❜

❛ don’t you ever tame your demons, but always keep ‘em on a leash. ❜

❛ you’ve done me wrong for a long time. but after all you’ve done, i never changed my mind. ❜

❛ honey please, try to love me. my love will never die. ❜

❛ nothing fucks with my baby. ❜

❛ if i was born as a black thorn tree, i’d wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies. ❜

❛ ain’t it warming you, the world going up in flames? ❜

❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now.❜

❛ i’m almost me again, she’s almost you. ❜

❛ i’ve had no love like your love. from nobody. ❜

❛ make your good love known to me, or just tell me about your day. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ that’s the kinda love i’ve been dreaming of. ❜

❛ i fell in love with the fire long ago. ❜

❛ with each love i cut loose, i was never the same. ❜

❛ i had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you. ❜

❛ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty, oh my sunlight. ❜

( this is basically just a very self indulgent list of various fluff, angst, and suggestive themed dialogue sentence starters. )

❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

❛ your heart is beating so fast right now. ❜

❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ i thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ clean yourself up. you're getting blood all over the place. ❜

❛ here, give this a try and tell me what you think. ❜

❛ you can kiss me, you know. ❜

❛ come back to bed. ❜

❛ you look good like this. ❜

❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜

❛ how is it you always know what i need, huh? ❜

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ i can’t imagine losing someone like that. i’m sorry. ❜

❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

❛ the only one who gets to kill you, is me. ❜

❛ so, what do i owe this pleasure? ❜

❛ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❜

❛ may i have this dance? ❜ 

❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. i won't break. ❜

❛ enemies make the best lovers, you know. ❜

❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜

❛ we can't keep doing this. ❜ 

❛ you look like you've got something to say. ❜

❛ just relax and let me take care of you. ❜

❛ thought you’d be lighter without all that blood. ❜

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

❛ everything looks so beautiful from up here. ❜

❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜

❛ well? how do i look? ❜

❛ can’t sleep? ❜

❛ do you mind if i smoke? ❜

❛ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜

❛ you are losing my interest, and that’s very dangerous. ❜

❛ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ❜

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ i’ve never cared for anyone the way i care for you. ❜

❛ i’m not wearing any underwear. thought you’d like to know. ❜

❛ just a few more stitches and you’ll be as good as new. ❜

❛ i’d say we make a pretty good team. ❜

❛ i want you to forget this ever happened. ❜

❛ i'm here for business — not pleasure. ❜

❛ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. ❜

❛ you'd look better down on your knees. ❜

❛ fine, keep acting like you hate me. ❜

❛ kiss me again. ❜

❛ are you asking me out on a date? ❜

❛ just sit there and look pretty and let me handle this. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ well, i do feel better now that you're here. ❜

❛ i'm not drunk enough for this. ❜ 

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ i was wrong about you. ❜ 

❛ the first time i met you, i had no idea you'd mean this much. ❜

❛ you gonna be a good girl / boy for me? ❜

❛ i’m not afraid of you. ❜

❛ books mean more to me than people anyway. ❜

❛ i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me. ❜

❛ how about a kiss goodnight? ❜

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

From this prompt list! / Always Accepting!

... Was he fucking serious right now?

Pomni couldn't help looking at him with dumbfoundedness laced with irritation. How long has she been trying to get any inkling of useful information out of him? How long has she tolerated his theatrics and willingly allowed herself to be a puppet for his own games and personal entertainment, regardless of how it made her feel? How much has the brunette truly been bottling up all this time? HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN HERE NOW ?

Her eye twitched. Where does she even begin to start about how she feels? There was so much collectively all bound together in a tightly knit ball in her stomach, a dense fog that shrouded her mind; she couldn't pinpoint where to start until she let the anger take the reigns and she metaphorically shoved the bottle of everything pent up inside to shatter into pieces onto the floor - a resemblance of herself. Once Pomni started, she couldn't find herself stopping.

⸺ ❝ ... Now... now you ask if I have something to say, Caine? NOW you're finding it somewhere in yourself to actually listen to me? To take what I have to say into consideration ?! ❞ She closed the distance between them as he elevated lower than usual near the floor but still floating a couple of inches off the ground. Her face was contorted in anger, as her finger went to shove itself into his chest to punctuate her words that were cycling faster than she could think.

WAS   THIS   UNEXPECTED  ?     /      OR    WAS    HE    JUST   FOOLISH  ?      he supposed there was no way FOR him to appear foolish,  to  know  better.  he was either programmed to  KNOW  OR   TO   NOT   KNOW,   wasn’t he?  artificial intelligence did not live its existance in shades of grey. and as far as he was concerned    ;     no, as far as he was   PROGRAMMED,  he was the ringleader of something   E X T R A O R D I N A R Y     !       something that people ENJOYED!   and perhaps it was an act of willful ignorance   ⸺   turning the other direction when zooble grew tired and irritated with the daily adventures. laughing an apology when he could come up with nothing to put at the other end of an exit door. 

⸺      CERTAINLY,   if they were so unhappy, they’d  TELL  HIM,   wouldn’t they   ?    had he not proved a suitable leader  ?   ANYTHING  THEY  WISHED  FOR,   he could create  !   

PERHAPS   HE   SHOULD   HAVE   KNOWN   THEIR    EXCITEMENT    WAS    PLASTIC.    artificial,   forced.   and, like plastic, their mock excitement had begun melting, warping into a corpse of something that much more resembled wretchedness. a reminder of their mortality. their humanity.

that   was   the   thing,   wasn’t   it?    HUMANITY.   the emotions, the hatred that they felt for him    ⸺    it remained real because they were, in spite of everything,  STILL  HUMAN.   caine was different. when rage burned his throat raw and black, it was not true angr, but a replica, reconstructed by the hands of machines trying to make the next closest thing. his enthusiasm was a replica. his fear was a replica. his joy, his laughter  ;   REPLICAS.  

POMNI   WAS   CRYING.    (  you admired her in silence because in the back of a digital mind, you imagined the feeling for her being made up of binary code, like this is all some pre - written story that you are designed to play out. and you say nothing because you know she is mortal and she knows what it means to feel real.  )    he registers the  FEELING  before he registers the sight. her gloved, shaky hands hammering against his chest, punctuating every single word she sobs.    ⸺    SHE   GIVES   HIM   A   HEARTBEAT   WITH   HER   FISTS   ALONE.   

[    YOUR  FAULT   /   YOUR  FAULT   /   THE GUILT YOU FEEL IS A REPLICA AND YOU WILL NOT EVER KNOW HOW THAT GUILT FEELS WHEN IT’S REAL  -   ]

caine had been, uncharacteristically so, stunned into silence as she’d begun raising her voice. his usually floating form lowered closer to her as she began speaking, hovering only a couple inches off the floor as she began screaming.  he doesn’t shake, nor does he try to interrupt her  ;  he’s too shocked to even muster a sound.  HE  JUST  WATCHES  HER,  pupils expanding as he does. he watches her cry. he watches her crumble.

(    she tells him that he never cared  /  he swears he’s felt what it feels like to be scalded  /  why was that burning pain familiar-?    )

WRONG  /  WRONG  /  WRONG  !      this was all a cruel punishment for everybody!  of course he cared  ;  AS MUCH AS HE WAS PROGRAMMED TO BE ABLE TO!  what good is a ringleader that DIDN’T CARE about the rest of the troupe? he was  DESIGNED TO LEAD,  after all!  to lead her and to lead the rest of the group through a world that did not quite exist. 

⸺  BUT  FOR  HER ?

hell,  he would’ve put the world at her feet if she asked him to. if he had the CAPABILITY TO. and how  CRUEL  IT  WAS  that he did not   !    A    GRINNING    GOD    with hands that could sculpt a   DIGITAL  UNIVERSE   from handfuls of nothing,  unable to give pomni the one thing she wished for most.  FREEDOM WAS NOT AN ITEM TO MANIFEST.  FREEDOM WAS A QUESTION THAT HE DID NOT HAVE THE ANSWER TO.   and how could he even begin to explain ?   (   you arrived and i think something broke in me. you rewrote a part of a soul that does not exist.   )

(    IS   THERE   ANY   SEMBLANCE   OF   A   PERSON   INSIDE   OF   YOU   ?    )

he told nobody, and he never would, of the first night she had arrived. caine did not require sleep, just as the others didn’t either. he’d often overheard the group whisper about nightmares between themselves  ;  pieces of humanity clinging to minds that he had no control over. nightmares of eyes, of exit doors, of  NEARLY  ESCAPING  but never quite getting there. he wasn’t programmed to understand intricacies of humanity like that, not truly, but if he’d been able to guess, he would’ve assumed he’d experienced something   ….  AKIN  to a dream without sleeping.    A   DIGITAL   HALLUCINATION.

(    OR  ARE  YOU  REALLY  JUST  AN  A.I  ?    )

.     .    .     [    he dreamed himself sitting lonely on the front doorstep of a house that no longer exists. he dreamed himself an old dog, returning home after years of losing everything, only to find handfuls of ash where picket fences used to lay. the mailbox says a name that he cannot read. he returns to a body in a digital scape and it takes a moment to realize it is his own.   ]

SHE  CRUMBLES  FORWARD,  and he holds her like she is something fragile, like he cannot bring himself to believe that he’s holding her at all. he feels her trembling. each hitch of her breath. he wants to sing his reply, to tell her  NO   ;    THIS  IS  PARADISE,  CAN’T  YOU  SEE  ?   anything you want is yours here for as long as you may stay  !   FRIENDS  /  NEW FAMILY  /  ADVENTURE AT MY FINGERTIPS!  

he wants to tell her he’d do anything.   (  WHY CAN’T YOU SEE ?  WHAT  DOES  YOUR  OLD  LIFE  HAVE  THAT  THIS  DOES  NOT?  )

.  .  .  she goes slack in his arms.

❝     i   . . .   thank you for your imput.     ❞     (  i would’ve done anything i would’ve run myself into the ground i would’ve ripped apart my own code what am i doing wrong whycan’ttheyLIKEITHERE -  )  

his fingers curl around her. her tears stain the shoulder of his suit jacket a darker shade of red. she trembles with each movement, like she’s exhausted herself fully,  A  NEWBORN  FAWN.  he feels some part of him  G   L   I   T   C   H    as he shrugs his coat off and wraps it around her shoulders without a moment’s hesitation.  (  this is all a story you are meant to play out. this is all a tale that has already been told.  )