valerian (val)

Everything was a haze.

Movement all around, the screams of terror bouncing around in her brain– it was too much.

Wind screeched past her ears, tangling in her hair as she launched herself at an object in the sky. Her hands gripping tightly onto the sword of pure darkness, as she tried to interfere with the biggest threat in front of her.

Burnt flesh. Burning wood. Black smoke everywhere, as she now raised her sword to slash at the demon in front of her. Every bone and muscle in her body screaming at her to run, but she refused.

A blink of an eye, and she saw Phelloth’s arms rising high over her head. A giant weapon she couldn’t make out in time, before everything went dark.

Silence followed for too long.

She knew she was dead, in some form. She felt the molten hot feeling of her body being split into two, but she didn’t fully die. Not yet, at least.

Venus.

Slowly, the sensation began to flow back into her fingers. Feeling the soft silk of the bedsheets beneath her.

Venus.

Then, it was the light coming through her eyelids. The ambient lighting that drew an amber color across her. Everything felt warm, comforting. 

Venus.

Her body felt weak, groaning quietly to herself with every movement she made. It was like her body was covered in molasses, heavy and slug-like with every forced touch and shift she made. Was she truly alive? Or was this another trick, another ploy to pull the wool over her eyes?

Venus.

It was like a light switch flicked on within the depths of her mind. Her eyes snapped open as she surged up from the bed. The covers over her flew forward, rustling with her limbs as she tried to kick them off quickly. She didn’t recognize this place– she didn’t recognize anything.

“What-” She stammered out, her hands gripping at the post at the edge of the bed, forcing her still wobbly legs to hold her weight as she practically launched to her feet. 

“Where- Null?” She called out, only for no response.

The silence was too heavy all around her. The usual void in her mind that Null occupied felt empty. Cold. There was nothing there, no one present to keep her sanity still and to guide her down the right way. She was alone. 

Alone.

The feeling that gnawed at her chest wasn’t new. She had grown accustomed to it the first time they were separated for so long, but she didn’t expect to feel it again so soon. It was disorienting, and it made her more scared of everything—

Shuffling of feet and the skittering of footsteps outside of the ornate double doors to her room drew her attention up quickly. She gripped onto the banister of her bed with volition, straightening her posture as if she was ready to lunge at the next person she saw. All she was waiting for was for the doors to swing open, and… 

“My Lady!” A shrill, yet upbeat voice came through the door as they swung open. A mid aged lady dressed in some modest, yet elegant clothing waltzed through the door. Her hair brought back into flowing curls, rolling off of her shoulders like waves as she practically ducked into the room. “I’ve brought you some breakfast, and-“

Her thoughts drew to a halt, her rhythm faltering as she saw Venus already on her feet. Her eyebrows flew up in surprise, as she gave a warm smile. Her motions resumed almost instantly, moving into the room like a wildfire. She threw the curtains, much to Venus’s dismay, and began to tidy the room up.

“Looks like you’re already ahead of me! Good, good.” She hummed softly, before going over to Venus with the plates she had brought in with her. She had set a tray down right as she came in. Steaming food, warm and fragrant, was just feet away— Venus nearly lunged for it the moment she saw it. 

“My,” The woman paused, taking a better look at Venus. “I hope you haven’t fallen ill, my dear Lady.” She murmured with a sudden shift of tone, moving to Venus and grabbing both sides of her head. “You’re paler than I remembered! And-“ She did another once over of Venus. “Shaking- you haven’t caught the plague, have you?” Her eyes widened slightly, before giving a hearty laugh.

“No, no. Dearest me, I think you’ve got the case of cold feet!” She waved Venus off, quickly setting Venus down to the bed with a small push and shoving a warm plate into her lap. “Eat. It will brighten you up for the day you have ahead, my Lady.”

What the fuck was going on?

Venus could barely keep her head on straight as this mystery whirlwind of a woman barreled into her supposed room. She let her eyes linger on the scenery around her, especially now that the woman was bringing more light in. Everything was… fancy? There weren’t many words Venus could find to describe this place other than regal. It was a very sudden shift to what Venus was accustomed to seeing.

With a smooth motion, Venus pushed a spoonful of porridge into her mouth. She hummed quietly, seemingly nodding to whatever the woman was rattling on about. Something about guests, and duties, and—

“We’ve got your gown all ready for the day, and your dress should be all set for tonight!” The woman clasped her hands together, giving a small sway as she practically skittered back to the corner of Venus’s bed. “Now, once you’ve finished all of your grub, we’ll get you out of these-“ She scooped up a comb from the vanity, moving around the bed with such practiced grace.

Venus stiffened as the woman climbed onto the bed behind her, the food harder to swallow as the woman’s hands began to rake through her hair. “My, you must’ve had a fitful night of sleep, my Lady.” The woman murmured, carefully and tenderly combing Venus’s hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it this tangled- no matter!”

Nearly choking on her food, Venus coughed. “You don’t need to do all of that.” She murmured hoarsely, trying to glance over her shoulder. “I can dress myself-“ She was cut off by the woman’s warm hands turning her head back forward, and the spoon in her hand forcibly being scooped back into the porridge. 

“None of that, now.” The woman scolded affectionately, going back to brushing her long— brown?— hair. “You will eat, and then we’ll begin our very busy day. Your father has already arranged everything, so-“ 

The words droned on, and on. 

What did she get herself into?

Why was everything so foggy, yet so clear at the same time?

What was she doing here? Where was Null?

Did she have to play along? Was she stuck here?

“…Looks like you’ve finished your food, good!” The plate was pulled from her hands before she could realize it. The woman practically tossed it onto the tray that she brought in, now seizing Venus’s hands and pulling her up to her feet. It felt like forty pound weights were attached to her ankles at first, but with each tiny tug she got back onto her feet once again.

“Now, up!” The woman’s hands grabbed for the nightgown that Venus wore, expecting her arms to raise in routine. Venus blankly stared at her, before an awkward flush came across her cheeks. “Don’t be coy, now. It’s nothing new to these old eyes!” She didn’t seem to take the hesitation at all, as the cloth was yanked off of her almost instantly.

Venus grunted, the cold seizing her skin as the woman kept rattling off the things they had to do. Tea with her mother(?) before the big welcoming ceremony, and then she gets to do her studies(?) before the banquet lunch. The next few hours are set aside so she and her maidens(?) can get her all ready for the ball tonight, which—

WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON???

It was one thing to wake up in a place she didn’t know, getting forcibly undressed by some woman who has seen her body before— but another thing was that her supposed PARENTS WERE ALIVE?

The woman shimmied the boning of the corset around her waist, holding the fabrics that were now thrown across her snugly. Glancing down, she saw that the woman had dressed her in an array of whites and purples. It felt foreign wearing all of these fancy garments, she was so used to wearing her dirtied and bloodied clothes for weeks on end. To be clean, and to wear comfortable clothes? It was… new.

The woman carefully pulled her hair into a half up half down updo, brushing her wavy hair over her shoulders. She felt too— feminine. She knew it was whatever the story needed, but it was so much all at once.

A small hum came from behind her, as the woman finished with placing a waxy flower in her hair. A hand smoothed over her wings in the back, the fabric that was sort of a train behind her having a sheer effect on it. Her wings practically glittered behind her, and the woman seemed satisfied for the moment.

“There we go, as beautiful as ever.” With a small tug of the strings on the corset, and with a flourish of a bow or two– the woman stepped aside. She looked awfully proud of herself, as she motioned for Venus to approach the floor length mirror off to the side.

Venus nodded wordlessly, swallowing shallowly as she stepped to the side. The woman placed some small heels off to the side, nothing too intense– and busied herself with putting things away as Venus peered into the mirror. The dress fit her so perfectly that it took her breath away. It felt like the fabric hugged her torso like it was placed there by loving hands, crafted to hold the shape of her body. The colors adorned across the dress were still the lilac and shades of white, as her eyes flickered up to the waves of brown that was her hair.

She only had a white streak along the length of her bangs. Her hair wasn’t completely white. She remembered it being white. Why did it change? What else has changed?

She tried to draw her fingers close, forming the shape of a hilt in the grasp of her hand. Drawing from the darkness, drawing from the depths of her soul– willing for something to come forward. Willing for something to form, but…

Nothing happened.

She gawked at her hand, a fear wrapping tightly around her heart. The blood ran cold in her body, and her vision went static for a mere moment. She can’t get her void blade. She can’t fight him if she needed to.

She was defenseless.

A hand was placed onto her shoulder, as she was now whisked out of the room and down the hall. It’s been forever since she’s worn heels like this, wobbling with every few steps. The maid, or whoever she was, kept Venus upright. Murmuring about nerves, and how everything will be fine.

Venus couldn’t pay attention. She was brought into a large courtyard full of brilliant flowers, colors of every kind under the sun. Large trees with flowing blossoms, and a nice and brisk summer air. It was so perfect, it made a chill run down her spine.

The maid ushered her out, patting her head slightly as she closed the large double doors behind her. Leaving her out in the courtyard, only with the instructions of “speak with your mother”.

Owlishly blinking, Venus moved forward with reluctance. She took each step down the marble steps with caution, her hands bunched up in the skirts that flowed around her. The garden around was stunning, something she’s only ever seen in dreams far, far away. It resembled what she remembered of the Feywild, something she hasn’t seen in what felt like decades.

A large gazebo sat in the middle of a circle of pink and purple trees. Floral arrangements were wrapped around the railings of the stairs, and opening up into an opulent setting. A glass table, with a dainty porcelain tea set seated in the middle. Gold was practically painted onto the edges of the table, and the chair that was open seemed to be made out of solid bronze.

She stiffly walked up the steps, her hand grasping onto a free spot on the railing as the person waiting for her came into view.

Her mother. Andromeda.

She looked exactly like the last time she saw her. They were nearly carbon copies of each other. The fierce glint in her mother’s eyes, the silver streaks that peeled through her hair like how the river flows. The way her lips pierced together, and the way she carried herself– it was almost like seeing a reflection.

Andromeda stood up with such grace, her dark purple dress and fabrics falling around her like a goddess. She moved towards Venus, clasping her hands against her cheeks. She tilted Venus’s head up, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. She was taller than Venus remembered.

“Are you doing okay, Ve?” Andromeda whispered to her, the back of her hand slipping up to press against her forehead. The hair stuck to her skin like a film, sweat starting to form along her brow. “You look… Pale.”

Venus cleared her throat roughly, giving a weak smile to try and convince the lady in front of her. It was weak, and shaky– but it got Andromeda to let go of her face. “I’m- fine. Just a bit nervous for tonight, I guess.”

The hum that emitted from Andromeda made Venus’s chest tighten, as the warmth of her mother’s touch rested on her shoulders now. “That’s alright,” She drawled, her accent heavy in her words as she spoke clearer. “You’ll no doubt have fun. Your little friend is coming along, ain’t he?”

Venus blinked a few times, tilting her head to the side slightly. “I- uh..” The words died in her mouth, her eyes scanning her mother’s face. Her eyes were such a dark blue, they almost looked brown in the lighting. The smallest differences that derived Venus from her, but it was haunting nonetheless. “...Who?”

A hearty laugh escaped from her mother’s mouth, her hands squeezing Venus’s shoulders before letting her go. She motioned for her to sit down, as she rounded back over to the seat she once occupied. “Your friend Katar, right? I received his mother’s letter a few days ago. They’re about to arrive any moment now.” 

Venus had to manually blink and breathe at this point, as each movement within her bones made it difficult for her to stay sane. She grasped onto the top of the bronze chair tightly, hearing the metal groan slightly with the pressure as she pulled it out and sat. The corset around her ribs made it hard for her to slouch like she usually does, keeping her upright and rigid.

“...Yeah, yes.” Venus nodded quickly, her hand grasping onto the slightly steaming cup of tea her mother set in front of her. Floral, maybe lavender tea. She sipped it slightly, wincing as the burning liquid brought more nerves back to life. She was acutely aware of everything around them– and she was so, so scared.

“Such a sweet boy, and those sisters of his?” Andromeda chuckled softly, shaking her head as she stirred her tea with a methodic rhythm. “Troublemakers, I swear. I’m surprised Vanya even has time to focus on all four of them.”

Venus placed the cup back down in front of her, her eyes never moving off of the woman that sat across from her. It was seared into her mind the look of betrayal and fear that was held in those same eyes the last time she saw them. She knew what she had done, but did Andromeda? Did she see the weight that Venus carried? The sacrifices she had made, only to be stuck back into the spider’s web?

Her mother kept filling the empty space between them. A weak hum from Venus every now and then, but she kept detailing the plans of the day, how excited she was to see Venus on her own this time, and— it was dreadfully boring. Was this some fantasy romance novel? Somebody shoot her now. She’d rather be fighting through a crowd of infected people any day of the week rather than this.

The drawl of conversation got cut with a sudden opening of another set of doors across the courtyard. A man with white, almost unnaturally white, hair came marching in. He barely looked any older than Andromeda, nor Venus. They must’ve settled down young, she guessed. She assumed this man was her father, as Andromeda rose to greet him with a warm and full smile.

The man was donned in purple and gold. His tan skin complimenting the colors, only making him look more lively and youthful. He quickly closed the distance between him and Andromeda, wrapping her in his arms and lifting her slightly. They spun for a moment, laughter bubbling from them like they were teenagers.

Venus had to hold back a grimace, her eyes dropping nearly instantly. She felt the bile in her stomach twist, coming into her mouth as she became quickly nauseous. She let them die. Yet, they’re so happy right there in front of her. Did she even deserve this?

“How are my girls doing?” The man drew his head back from his giggling wife, looking down and at Venus with a brilliant smile. Dimples at the corners of his lips, and electric golden eyes. Did his genes even fight?

“Cas, you know-“ Andromeda sighed a little, patting her husband’s chest fondly. “I’m thinking Ve’s a little nervous about the ball. Look at her! She’s barely eaten anything, poor flower.”

Cas, assuming picking up on his wife’s words, nodded along. Venus’s eyes reluctantly drew up, meeting his gaze once again. “Yes, yes. I was nervous for my first grand ball, too! Just..” He looked off in the distance as he thought, only for Andromeda to fill the gap for him.

“..A few centuries ago?” A teasing smile played at her lips, amused by her husband’s apparent common behavior.

“Yes! Yes.” Cas nodded firmly once more, now withdrawing his arms from his wife to move behind Venus’s chair. She hated how easily her body relaxed in their presence. The joy radiating from both of them was infectious, and she just- wanted to run.

“Now, see-“ Cas gently grabbed Venus’s chin, turning her head forward as he began to point wildly around the horizon where she could see. “Your mother and I met under that tree, and then at the gala that night I threw up into that bush before asking her to dance. It was horrible, I killed my mother’s roses. Your grandmother still has not forgiven me for that, by the way.” He quietly murmured the last part, a hint of a snicker in his voice.

Venus barely paid attention to what he said, but she felt the corners of her mouth rise. It was.. nice. All of this was nice, and peaceful. She didn’t know how to react, nonetheless feel. Her parents were abundant with emotion and love, something she never could experience outside of her own despair. She could feel the warmth in her chest deepen, as she placed her palm against the flat of her chest.

Why did she feel so empty without him?

In a blink of an eye, everything shifted.

It wasn’t normal the way the colors of the garden melted away, nor was it normal the fact that Andromeda and Castien’s silhouettes shifted into different objects of the environment. 

The sudden movement of Venus’s surroundings made a sickening twist settle deep within her stomach. She lurched forward from her seat, trying to grab at the table to steady herself– but it vanished. It melded into the floor, leaving her standing back in her room from when she woke up.

She stumbled forward, her hands now slamming into the vanity as she scrambled to catch her balance. These damn shoes are going to be the death of her.

The light outside had already dimmed, the sun already low outside the window of her room. Beams of orange and amber light cascaded through the window, casting a warm, summer glow across the furniture. It was inviting— maybe she could lay down and forget this nightmare even started. Maybe she would wake up back in the Nexus, or on the ship with whoever survived. Maybe she’d be with—

The doors opened without warning. Girls, maybe early 20s at the absolute oldest, skittered in like a line of ducklings. They all held various fabrics, accessories, and many other things that made Venus’s stomach twist once again in dread. Was the ball happening already? How much time passed between now and then?

Why were they fucking with her?

Why can’t she get a grasp on reality? Was she truly crazy?

She didn’t fight it this time as the girls surrounded her. She stared past them, towards the windows as the sun continued to set. None of them spoke, just quiet nudges and nods as they placed another gown over Venus. She hated every single moment of it. She felt the stares weighing heavy on each part of her body they brushed past— she could feel the weight of their confusion and judgement at the myriad of scars across her torso.

She should burn them all.

The group of them split into two, focusing on her hair and light makeup as the others finished the final touches of her dress. It was a brilliant silver gown, like the stars themselves came down into the fabric she wore. It flowed down her body, trailing behind her— radiant as the moon. Golden accents were adorned on the sides of the dress, along with her family crest placed on the center of her chest. 

She looked stunning. It was still foreign to see her in a dress, much more such a formal ballgown like this. Yet, she couldn’t blame them if they stared— why did they all fit her so well? 

The women left without much word after setting Venus’s hair back down. Her white strand now tucked back with a hair accessory she couldn’t quite see, but kept it out of her face for the time being. She pierced her lips together, as she stared at her reflection for a moment too long.

The orange in the room made her anxious. The silver along her body made it worse. Next, she’d see green, or maybe blue. Maybe there’d be more colors she’d never seen. Maybe she’ll be driven to madness in front of all of these people she never knew, stuck into this same droning routine over and over again. 

The thoughts swarmed her head, sitting heavy on her shoulders. She felt herself hunch over slightly, this newest corset barely a whisper against her torso now. She heaved in every breath, her eyes unfocusing from her reflection. She didn’t recognize herself. She couldn’t. This was too much. Too unknown.

She had to get out of here.

Her legs moved faster than her thoughts. Her steps were quick, and hurried as she moved over towards the doors of her room. She shoved them open with one push, practically skittering down the hall at the first sign of light. She kept her focus straight, unable to try and appear like she was… normal.

The halls were sparse, unlike earlier. The lighting around the castle was dimmed, almost in a romantic type of way. It was intimate, it only made the dread settle deeper into her bones. It gnawed at every sense in her body— dulling the rational side of her even more.

Yet, every turn she took— she felt more lost. She didn’t know where the hell she was, and much less where she wanted to go. She kept moving, taking a right and an occasional left. The hum of conversation became louder and louder, and something itched at the back of her brain that this isn’t where she wanted to be.

It wasn’t her decision to make.

Her pace slowed as she saw a line of guests shuffling in, faces beaming and others looking around in astonishment. The entrance of the ballroom was decorated in such a way that Venus couldn’t help but stare as well. Grandiose is a word she’d use, but…

A warm hand gently took her elbow, as her mother’s voice spoke in a hush tone. “There you are, Ve.” She murmured to her, turning Venus to look at her. 

Andromeda wore a deep purple dress, magentas and indigo trailing down to the ground like petals. Her wings, now unfurled from their resting position, shimmered in the dim lighting. Venus couldn’t help but let her eyes stare at the dragonfly designs against the translucent wing— She really was just like her mother.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, but-“ Andromeda let out a soft sigh, a smile now playing on her lips. “Your father nearly sent the guard out looking for you, saying how you must’ve run off again.” She shook her head, casting a glance into the ballroom for a moment.

“That Cas doesn’t know where his head’s at. I’m surprised he even remembered our anniversary today, really-“ She laughed a bit, pulling Venus aside as more guests seemed to file in. “But that isn’t what I’m here for. Are you okay?”

Venus was clearly disoriented, her eyes bouncing off of every ornate and overzealous outfit that passed by her. It was a wave of colors, a crowd of people. Blues, oranges, greens– everything reminded her of them. She couldn’t even focus, her breathing starting to pick up as panic settled into every nerve and muscle in her body. 

Where is he? Why can’t she–

Her mother’s hand carefully cupped Venus’s cheek, her thumb pressing against the apple of her cheek. The motion was calming in almost a forcible way, drawing Venus’s attention back to her mother’s intense gaze. 

Venus blinked the haze that threatened to pull her back under out of her eyes, staring towards her mother with a deer in headlights look. She pulled her lips up into what she thinks is a convincing enough smile, feeling like she’s exposing too much teeth all at once. Her mother scanned over her face with an analytical gaze, trying to read her without saying anything. It was unsettling.

“I-” Venus stammered out quickly, shaking her head to brush Andromeda’s hand off of her face. “I lost track of time. I had to rush down here.” She reached over, grabbing her mother’s wrist to prevent her from touching her face once again. “I’m okay, really. Just– out of it. I wasn’t expecting this to start so soon.”

Andromeda’s shoulders relaxed, clearly taking that as the best answer she can get. Her mother glanced back over her shoulder, noticing that the guests were starting the festivities. She leaned close, pressing a kiss to the top of Venus’s head briefly. “If you need to leave, you can. I won’t keep you here if you’re uncomfortable, just… Let me know, okay?”

Venus gave a stiff nod, watching as her mother pulled away and absorbed herself into the crowd. The white streaks in her hair allowed Venus to see as she ducked between the guests, sharing smiles and taking a drink as she made her way towards Castien. 

It felt like a weight lifted off of her chest for a brief moment. She can’t keep letting this happen. She can’t afford to get distracted.

…Can she?

With a small movement, she tried to walk forward. Join the crowd, or– whatever. She didn’t really know what she had to do, but it was clearly something–

Venus.

A chill surged down her spine, every nerve ending in her body setting itself on fire. The hairs on the back of her neck rose, as her head swiveled to look behind her. Her eyes darted around, trying to catch a glimpse of– someone. Something. She didn’t know what she was looking for.

Venus.

The crowd seemed to migrate around her. She unconsciously moved forward, letting herself get enveloped into it. The walls of bodies and flesh surrounding her, cocooning her so she couldn’t escape. 

Her head spun around, trying desperately to find the source. Was she finally going crazy?

People blended together. Movement slowed. Everything felt slow, but her body wasn’t forced into the same lull everyone else was.

She bumped shoulders with people as she forced herself through the crowd. She didn’t even glance back, knowing that their faces won’t matter. None of them do. No one here will matter once she’s done here. That’s what always happens.

She pushed her way through another group of people, colors of their dresses and lavish suits flashing by. All she could think about is the stupid strings playing with her, watching as she struggles to grasp onto a single strand of her sanity. This had to be it. This had to be some game that they threw her into, but she had no idea what the rules were. She was defenseless, alone, and scared.

I have to get out of here.

I have to get out. 

I HAVE TO GET OUT.

.

..

…

A grunt emitted from her as she rammed into a person. Her face slamming into someone’s chest, and an arm wrapped around her waist. The person stumbled back with the force of her running into them, but before Venus could truly pull away– a laugh erupted from the person.

“Ve, I get that you missed me, but seriously-” Katar’s voice rang in her ears, and every muscle in her body wound tight. Her entire body tensed, as her head snapped up to look up towards the ginger man before her. He was beaming, radiating happiness from every pore of his body. He didn’t look like a day passed since she left him on the ship, so long ago.

The day she chose Null over them.

She didn’t say anything, as Katar continued to ramble on. “It’s been only a few weeks, but I missed you too!” He threw his arms around her, squeezing her to his chest in a bear hug. “I didn’t go off to war or anything. It’s like,” He laughed once again, pulling back to brush the hair that’s fallen into her face. “It’s like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you okay?”

Her head spun. She didn’t expect to be bombarded with every sense imaginable. Her hands pressed against the dark blue suit that he wore. Golden etchings across the fabric, making him look more noble than she ever saw him as. It wasn’t that she didn’t respect him for his status, well– maybe a little bit. The fact is, she saw him as a warrior. A man who has lost too much, and still bears to smile. Still carries the weight of everything on his shoulders, and still has the capacity to love. 

Did he see right through her? Did he see the pain on her face? The panic in her eyes? The way her eyes scanned the room, looking for the next danger? Did he not trust her? 

Did he know who she truly was?

“Venus.” Katar said with more emphasis, his hands grasping onto her shoulders with the most tender touch and shaking her. Her eyes focused back on his eyes, all blue with the depths of worry and concern within. “What’s going on?”

A smile forced its way back across her teeth, forcing her lips to curl up and bare her teeth towards Katar. She shook her head, pulling her hands back and away from him as she forced what sounded like a laugh from her chest. “Too many people, it’s-” She pulled her eyes away from him, looking around at all the people. Their faces, now animated and defined, made her anxiety rise further. “It’s nothing. I’m fine, really.”

It didn’t sound convincing leaving her mouth. It barely sounded like words at all to her, but Katar seemed to buy it. His hands squeezed her shoulders once again, before moving to her upper arm and doing the same. His kind gaze never wavered, and she hated how it brought an odd sense of calm to her. She knows this is fake. She knows this isn’t truly him, but it feels so– nice.

She has to reassure everyone that she’s okay. Why? It feels like an automatic response. It feels like the words punch out of her before she can even say anything relative to the truth. 

She can’t say what she wants to. She can’t act. She has to play along to the puppet strings pulling her along. 

It’s driving her insane.

“Want me to get you a drink? Snack?” Katar’s voice cut through the general hum of murmurs and chatter around her. Her eyes flickered from his chest to his eyes once again, blinking away the static that was at the corners of her vision. “I promise I won’t get you those stupid snail things this time.”

Even with the stupid grin Katar flashed, Venus couldn’t help but notice movement over his right shoulder. She stood up straighter, thanking her heels for giving her the height to actually see over him.

The crowd seemed to part as her gaze lifted, everyone seeming to face in her general direction besides one. A man, clad in black, with his head down as he moved through the people. It was fluid the way he brushed past people, but no one acknowledged him. No one gave him a second look as he passed through them. Their eyes glassed over, as they continued to talk about meaningless daily drama. 

Who was this guy?

Katar moved slightly into her vision, glancing over his shoulder to try and see what she was looking at. “What’re you looking at?” He mumbled in confusion, his eyes darting around to find… nothing. He seemed lost, as he looked back towards Venus.

“I-” Her mouth went dry, forcing herself to swallow down the lump in her throat. “Get me that drink later, okay? I- I might need it.” With a gentle push, Venus moved past Katar and practically dove into the crowd.

When she wasn’t focusing on people, it felt as if their faces melted away into just one single color. No features, no voice, nothing. Just mindless figurines, moving as if mechanically operated from afar. It sent chills down her spine, even as she drew her focus back towards the people in front of her. As soon as her gaze hit them, they’d reanimate like nothing happened. Laughing, talking loudly as if they weren’t just wiped clean. 

It was like a cloud shifted over the crowd every time her gaze would move. In each direction her eyes went, it was like life got breathed back into the people in her vicinity. They’d start moving with fluidity, dancing like they were finally articulated, and– Alive.

Confusion settled deep into her mind. It tried desperately to fill the gaps on the man she saw. She didn’t see his face, but he was moving through the crowd like he wasn’t affected. Not forced within the lull of the crowd, not being pulled by a string.

The answer was on the tip of her tongue. The haze of all that’s around her making her mind clouded, foggy with all the stress that she’s been through. She kept pushing through the crowd now, no longer caring if she bumped into others or tripped over limbs. It was her only mission now to see where that man was going. 

Even if it meant forcing an answer out of him.

Before she could realize it, she felt the soft night’s breeze hit her face. The crowd instantly dulled, as she finally clicked into place that she followed this man outside. Her head spun around, seeing the party struggle to reanimate and move as a whole. The music kept playing, the soft lighting all around lived– but the people weren’t. They weren’t alive.

“You were never the stealthiest, hm?”

a/n: CAN YOU HEAR ME STRANGLING MYSELF FROM HERE. i love them so much i hate it i need thme GONE

It got to a point where things became so boring that all Venus did was lay in her bed and wait. She sensed the change and shift in the pauses, and the general hum of things coming back to life as the strings regained their characters. It was like the air shifting, and things started to creak and groan. It’s when Venus would go back to her spot, typically marked by a scratch of her blade.

Yet, that wasn’t going to be for another few days. She’s been lounging in bed for most of the week, not really caring to get up and move.

It was driving Null crazy. He kept making little comments here and there, urging her to even move. It was a pitiful existence, sure, but she didn’t seem to care all that much. Maybe it was the depression that finally settled into her bones, leaving her stuck in this sort of empty feeling.

Something Null thoroughly enjoyed filling, when he could. He felt more like a cat on these days, or a parasite looming in for the kill. He occupied the empty feelings in her head, and the sinking feeling that blossomed in her chest. It gave her comfort, in some strange way. Knowing he was always there, and able to understand her to the finest points. She never had to say anything, as he already knew and understood. 

You should get up. You haven’t moved in hours.

She brushed her hand to the side, trying to wave off his comment like he was sitting next to her on this bed. At times, it really felt like he was next to her. Speaking in her ear, telling her what she needs to do and what she wants to know.

I’m not going to ask you again.

“Can’t you just.. let me rot? We don’t need to do something constantly to appease your bloodlust.” She grumbled out from where her face was pressed into the blankets. The soft fabric felt nice against her skin, but she knew it was only a temporary feeling. Especially as she felt Null lurch inside of her.

Unfortunately, I am bored. I need you to do something, rather than marinate in your thoughts. Get up, before I make you.

She let the silence fill out the room she sat in. Whenever Null talked to her, it bounced off the walls of each room she was in like he was physically there. Yet, she knew it was just a trick her mind played. She knew he could manipulate what she sees, and what she hears, and she’s slowly stopped caring over the months.

She felt her hand move without her wanting to, as the covers were forced off of her. She groaned out in complaint, trying to keep herself down as she felt Null’s presence grip into her skin. 

I told you I’d make you. Stop squirming around like that. You’re making this much more complicated than it needs to be.

Venus let out something akin to a whine as she was heaved onto the ground. She laid there, her wings smushed against her back as she tried to relax once more. Her body ached, but not how it usually was. She didn’t understand the small knot in her stomach, or why Null seemed to hesitate as he forced her back onto her feet.

You look pathetic. Clean your face.

She felt herself stumble forward to the bathroom she had, gripping at the doorway to steady herself as she carefully took each step. Her legs felt asleep still, as the sensation came back with the blood rushing down. She grimaced, now using the sink as a crutch as she glanced at the mirror.

Looking into the mirror, she could see herself. Exhaustion setting deep in her eyes, and eyebags that were almost purple just beneath them. She looked paler than usual, and her hair was pointing in every direction. Yet, she let her eyes linger on the spot just above her shoulder.

A dark shadow filling the silhouette of a man looked next to her. Much taller than she was, but she’s grown very accustomed to it as she continued to look into her reflection. She could almost feel his presence next to her physically, her nerves humming with the quiet hope of touch.

She looked into the eyes of Null, who seemed to be hovering over her like she was going to collapse at any moment. “You don’t need to baby me, you know.” She murmured out, her hand coming up to brush some of her hair away from her face.

And yet, I do anyway.

She glanced down as the water was turned on for her, reluctantly reaching down to scoop some to splash up onto her face. She weakly sighed at the coolness, feeling the grime wash away that she didn’t realize was there.

She felt gentle combing through her hair, as Null’s fingers, or what she thought were his fingers, untangled knots in her hair. This felt strangely domestic in her mind, but she didn’t oppose it as she felt her hair slowly smooth out.

She felt the tension slowly start to ease from her shoulders, as she leaned heavily onto the sink. She let her head drift down, trying to inhale slowly to gather her thoughts. 

As much as you think I don’t care, I do. Maybe not in the way you think, but… If you die, I die. So, unfortunately for the both of us, I have to keep you healthy and raring to go.

Venus let out a small sound akin to a hum, letting herself almost lean back into the sensation of his fingers smoothing her hair out. She closed her eyes, and it felt real. He always felt closer when her eyes were closed, and especially now- it was like she could hear his breathing as well as his fingers now pressed into the base of her neck. She tilted her head down with his guidance, as he continued to carefully rub down the slope of her neck.

“You’ve never been this touchy before.” A soft whisper passed her lips, as her eyes squeezed tighter together.

You usually stop me by now. Whenever it feels too real you always.. panic.

Venus stiffened slightly, shifting on her feet- yet she didn’t move to stop. “I don’t know why I’m letting you. I think I’m getting bored, or weak.”

That’s one way to put it.

A shiver ran down her spine like lightning as two “hands” squeezed against her shoulders. Trying to squeeze the tension out of her body, in a way. 

You haven’t relaxed in so long, Ve. You know that. Look at you-

A hand moved from her shoulder, gripping onto her chin to make herself tilt her head up. Her eyes opened, only to see a shadowy-arm holding her face up in a gentle hold. His index finger and thumb pressed into her cheeks, almost making her pout- but firmly keeping her eyes forward. 

You’re weak. You haven’t relaxed since we got here, and even then, I can feel your body screaming. You can’t keep doing this. You and I both know you have to relax, or we won’t be able to continue.

The pout now finally formed on her face, as she tried to look at the spot above her shoulder where he stood. She could feel the thrumming of her heart start speeding up, as she now pushed off of the sink. “And what am I supposed to do about it? Everything is paused. The sun has been out for days, and I can’t sleep when I know the unpause could come at any second. I just-“

His hand shook her face slightly, his grip tightening on her face to make her stop talking. You’re not listening to me. You have still failed to realize I live in your head. I see what you see, hear what you hear, and witness every thought and need within you.

I know what you want.

Venus froze. Her eyes flickering to where he hovered, before looking down to where his hand was in front of her. It wasn’t a figment of her imagination anymore. He was truly hovering behind her, and it made her heart skip a beat at even the thought of it.

You don’t think I haven’t seen what you’ve thought about me? The times you think you’re alone, with just only your thoughts?

His voice was so close to her ear. It was as if his mouth was pressed right against the outside shell of her ear, and she squirmed in place. One of his clawed fingers shifted on her face, pressing into her cheek softly.

It amuses me. Amuses me how much you crave after a creature that you can’t see. Someone you can never have, unless you take me out. I can control what you see, feel, and hear- but you might not ever truly feel what I want you to feel.

Venus’s eyes widened, as she tried to twist her chin out of her grip. She heard Null tsk, his grip tightening as he forced her back against his chest. His arm came around her, pressing into the hand that was resting on the sink.

You haven’t been touched in years. Your body is practically thrumming with energy, more than I’ve seen from you in the past few weeks. It’s almost pathetic how much you want this, isn’t it?

Null’s lips pressed into the outside of her ear, kissing it almost softly. The air in the bathroom was heavy, as Venus was panting in each breath. It was something very different, and a line Null hasn’t crossed until now. She didn’t think he’d indulge her in this way, knowing he’ll never truly feel the way she does- but she was wrong.

Move back to the bed.

Venus weakly nodded, her legs feeling like they were full of lead as she made her way back to the comfort of her bed. The shadow followed her, becoming more and more humanoid as the moments passed. More and more real, and physical.

She sat back onto the bed, pressing her back against the headboard as her eyes followed the shadow that lingered. It had small, white dots for eyes. Its limbs disproportionate from its torso, as he pressed one of his legs onto the bed to lean in front of her. 

I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look in your eye. It suits you.

A rush of warmth flooded Venus’s face, as she looked away from him for a moment. She shifted on the bed uncomfortably, trying to reduce the ache deep within her stomach. “Shut up.” She grumbled out, tugging on her shirt to avoid the way it wanted to stick to every curve and dip in her skin.

Look at this as a benefit. I help you relax, and I finally get some quiet time. It’ll be good for both of us.

The figure leaned forward, pressing his knee in between Venus’s thighs to push them aside. She swallowed roughly, sitting there as Null only got closer and closer.

I won’t hurt you, but I sense you might want me to.

If Null could smile in this form, he’d be grinning. She could hear the smugness in his voice, as one cold and shadowy hand began to press into the fat of her thigh. She recoiled slightly, hissing sharply through her teeth at even the idea of being touched.

Reactive, hm? This might be more fun than I thought.

His hand moved up, higher and higher until it dipped under her shirt slightly. It found the hem of her jeans, along with the soft skin of her stomach. She felt him take in a shaky breath, as his other hand soon joined under her shirt. They gripped at her sides, and her ribs- right below her heaving chest. She could feel him take in every inch of her skin, as if he wasn’t already living within her body.

Soft, and warm. Perfect.

Venus couldn’t stop the quiet huffs as she tried to steady her breathing. She twitched as his thumbs pressed into the cup of her bra, before both of his hands forced her shirt up entirely to expose her torso.

I’ve caught glimpses here and there. You always try to hide your body from me, but I know what you’ve hidden away. You can’t keep this away from me now.

His hands stroked her sides, his white dots focused solely on her chest as it rose and fell with each quick breath. His eyes flickered up to meet hers, and she could feel the smugness radiate off of him. 

None of the others made you feel this way, hm? None of your precious little flings you desperately held on to. None of them were even close to what I make you feel, and I know it.

His hands gripped almost greedily at her chest now, practically ripping off the undergarment that covered the soft mounds on her chest. She was definitely bigger chested than she would’ve liked, and with how sensitive everything felt- she whimpered at the feeling of the air hitting her. 

“Null, I-“ She tried to gasp out, before his firm look silenced her as she squirmed on the bed beneath him. The heat behind the blank gaze was almost attractive, as he brought his hands back up to her chest.

His long, and lithe fingers gripped at her breasts. Feeling them as if he was worshipping them, and feeling every last inch that he could reach. He held onto her tightly, his thumbs running over her now very hardened nipples. It elicited a gasp that she never thought she’d make, her back arching up into him instantly.

Her hands gripped down onto the sheets, her shoulders pressing into the headboard of her bed. She heard the wood creak and groan under the force, her body shivering just from the rough touches Null pressed into her. She screwed her face up, her breathing becoming heavier as he kept up his motions.

When was the last time you’ve felt like this? Sure, I’ve seen you try and fail to touch yourself, but it’s not the same. I’ve always wanted to just..

He leaned forward, pressing what would be his face against her chest. She heard him inhale deeply, as he continued to hunch over her. It was almost feral the way he held onto her, his face now starting to split open gradually. Cracks in the darkness of his face, jagged teeth revealing as a white void emitted softly from his mouth. Something wet pressed into her skin, as his tongue now met the warmth of her nipple.

Venus grunted quietly, her hand coming up from the sheet to grip onto his shoulder tightly. He seemed to hum quietly, his hand cupping her breasts to practically devour her. He was taking in every sound she made, every gasp that slipped, and he would only hum deeper into her mind.

You drive me crazy when you do that. Touching yourself like I’m not in here with you, perfectly able to help. You were never one to accept help though, are you?

His eyes flickered up to her face again, taking in the flushed cheeks and disheveled hair. She was already a mess in his hands, and he couldn’t be more happy.

After paying attention to each nipple almost painfully prolonged, he started to press his jagged mouth down her body. His hands released her marked chest, his teeth leaving behind bruises in his wake. He moved further down the bed, now yanking her down by her hips so she was laying fully.

Venus struggled to keep her head up, trying so hard to watch what he was doing. His hands hovered at the waistband, his mouth pressing harsh but careful kisses against her stomach. It felt strange, to be treated so delicately but so rough at the same time. It’s like he couldn’t make up his mind to wreck her, or to ease her into it.

Her thoughts were pulled away as Null yanked down her pants, pressing kisses down her thighs as she did so. She inhaled sharply, letting her head fall back as he yanked the material off of her legs and onto the floor.

This is the most compliant I’ve seen you. Maybe I should do this more often to get you to listen to me.

Venus let out a small laugh, pushing a pillow underneath her head to prop herself up. “You think I’d listen, even then?” She murmured out, raising an eyebrow in his direction. She opened her mouth to continue, before being interrupted by the movement of his hand.

He pressed his thumb into the bundle of nerves at the top of her core, gently caressing it and moving around in tight circles. He hummed as a shudder ran through Venus’s entire body, her thighs squeezing around his hand almost instantly.

No, no. You don’t get to hide from me now.

His other hand that wasn’t preoccupied touching her gripped onto her thigh, yanking it away from the other and pinning it to the bed. He tilted his head to the side, getting a better look at the mess she was starting to create already. If he had a face to emote with, she felt like he’d raise his eyebrows in surprise. Maybe amusement, but definitely pride.

You’re already so wet for me. I’ve barely touched you, Ve, but I know how long you’ve wanted this. Wanted me.

A broken moan fell from her pursed lips, as the hand holding the pillow anchored itself into the plushness. She responded almost instantly, his words working its way into the depths of her very soul. “S- shut up.. It’s been a really- really long time.”

Oh, I can tell. Stay still for me, mhm? Gonna show you what it really feels like to want release.

Venus was about to question him, before his hand came to hook under the string of her underwear. A thin piece of fabric, soaked through, and shielding herself from his hungry advances. It made her ache, and a gush of warmth left her even at the thought of this going any further. 

He lifted his finger, cutting the fabric off of her in a small jerk of his hand. He discarded the ruined fabric off to the side, leaving her practically bare on the bed she woefully spent weeks on. His eyes scan over every scar, most from what he has done to her, and every small imperfection along her skin. His thumb traced up, pressing into a small mole against the side of her rib cage as he whispered. His voice was much gentler, and yet- she felt it in the base of her skull.

I never thought we’d truly get to this point. Thought maybe you’d want one of those past pathetic flings you cared so much about. But, as time went on and.. the more I pressed into memories. The more I realized..

His hands were searching her body now, rubbing the fine tips of his claws ever so gently on her skin. He was leaving small scratches in the process, threatening to pierce her skin. A lingering thought wanted him to just sink them in, for him to lean forward and bite into her neck like some rabid animal. Practically speaking, though, it wouldn’t end well for her.

His hands brushed back down her stomach, before pressing back against her thighs. Venus let out a weak sigh, letting her head relax back into the pillow as he carefully traced the fat of her thighs. His claws fingers make sure to feel every square inch, before making their way back up to the apex of her thighs. Where the most heat radiated, and the spot she needed him most.

You’re more desperate than me. You’ve wanted me to take over for so long, and show you what a real fun time is. You’ve had your way for so long, and now I’m in control.

Venus chewed on the inside of her cheek as his thumbs reached her core, pressing open the folds to see her fully. Even with the briefest touch, she jolted. It was such a rush of exhilaration coursing through her veins, her heartbeat pounding in her ears as Null leaned forward once again. His face nuzzled into the warmth of her thighs, nipping at the soft skin a few times to leave angry red marks.

Venus tried to reach down, to grab at his head and force him to close the distance already- but he snatched her hand before she could. 

I will take as long as I want with this, brat.

Venus nodded wordlessly, her hand twitching as he now pressed it to the mattress beside her. His attention was pulled back to the warmth in front of his face, as a small sliver of a smile cracked across his face. There was creaking, as Null wordlessly began to unhinge his jaw to let his tongue lull on out. His fingers gently rubbing, but knowing his claws- couldn’t penetrate her. She wanted to say fuck it, but she didn’t feel like being torn apart right off.

His tongue was longer than she remembered from just a moment ago, and much slicker. It carefully came up, flicking over her clit before sliding down to the slit in a fluid motion. Venus grunted out in a pleasurable response, unable to form words as he began to truly devour her.

His tongue made these motions a few more times, truly slickening her up for the torment that would soon come. He teased the entrance, pressing just enough to open the slit before sliding back up and down. It was enough to make Venus’s thighs tremble, as she wanted to lock her legs behind his head and force him in.

Null, at this point, was practically growling at the taste. The vibrations made his tongue shake with a small tremor, as she could feel the true pressure of his tongue against her entrance now. Venus held her breath, waiting for the moment he’d surge forward and bury his tongue to the absolute hilt. She expected him to just- go wild. She wanted him to go wild.

Null let out a deep moan, before his tongue began to snake its way within her. Twisting, writhing, and pulsing as he hummed in approval. His hands, large and steady, held tightly to her hips and held her firmly against his face. His nose, or what she thought was his nose, brushed against her clit. Bumping into it, and angling his head to press into the hidden spots within her.

Venus was a whimpering and whining mess, now. Her hands were clutching at his back and shoulders, digging her nails into the darkness of his flesh. She dragged down her hands, trying so hard to keep herself from bucking into his mouth like a wanton slut. It was nearly impossible, though- with how loud and aggressive Null’s tongue was slurping inside of her. He was drinking her, and his grip didn’t let up at all.

Her hips rolled forward, a suppressed moan coming forth as she tried to cover her mouth. It was futile, she was already so loud- she was so thankful that the others nearby couldn’t hear what went on during these pauses. What Null and her were doing, just above them all. She felt so filthy, but Null’s tongue twisted and pushed deeper within her.

Give it to me.

A demand from the back of her mind, leaving her skin hot and her chest greedy for each breath. Her hips were rolling in rhythm to his tongue, as he brought her to new heights she never thought possible. Her hand was never going to be able to replicate this, or-

I don’t want you to. Only I will be able to make you feel this way. Only me.

“Y- yes..” She stuttered out, her voice taking up in pitch as the coil started to tighten within her stomach. Her hands clawing, her hips moving, and her brain mush. She couldn’t hold on for much longer. He was ravenous, eating her out like she was a homemade meal in front of a starving man. She didn’t think he’s had an opportunity to do this, not fully. He’s lived for thousands of years, thousands of timelines- but he hasn’t experienced this?

His hands squeezed at her hips in a silent warning, before the speed of his tongue now began to thrust in and out of her. She arched her back off of the bed, her hand clutching at the top of his head as she forced him closer. “Can’t- I can’t. Too much-“

It’s far from enough. You can take this. Give it to me, Ve. Be a good girl.

The sound that came from her mouth was downright pathetic, her legs trying to wrap around his head tightly as her hips were losing their rhythm. She moved with pure desperation, trying to seek her orgasm against his face. She couldn’t care less how wrecked she looked in this moment, she was about to-

The moment it hit her, she saw white behind her eyelids. It was like reality shattered, and pieced itself back together within milliseconds. His tongue worked overtime deep within her cunt, pressing into every spot that made stars dance behind her eyes. She was cumming, and cumming hard against his tongue and face.

A growl of appreciation rumbled through Null, as his hands were caressing her hips tenderly. Helping her ride out her orgasm, and settling her back down as he began to slither the length of his tongue out of her. He heaved with every breath, the white dots of his eyes meeting her gaze once more.

There was nothing said between them as Venus laid there naked. Her eyes closed as she tried to ground herself back into the reality she was living in. It was hard, especially as Null crawled over her. The weight of his presence was apparent, as his mouth ghosted over her own. Her slick, and her arousal painted across his lips as he smirked. Smirked with his jagged teeth, as he gripped at her chin suddenly to force her mouth open.

Taste yourself.

His tongue slipped back out, still coated thoroughly with her climax as he pushed it past her lips. Venus let out a weak moan at the intrusion, quietly and eagerly beginning to clean off his tongue. They both shared a groan, deeply aroused by how dirty it felt. Venus suckled on his tongue like it was her lifeline, before he pulled it out of her mouth. It sounded like he was panting, like- like he was struggling to keep himself together now.

Null’s hands suddenly gripped at her hips once again, now rolling her over onto her stomach with a fluid movement. Venus scrambled for the covers, trying to regain her strength as he pressed down against her back from behind. He shakily breathed, if he could even breathe, as his clawed finger traced down the scars of her back. Moving her wings out of the way with a tenderness, before hovering over each individual hole left behind in the broken wing. The acid had done its damage years ago, but he still treated it like it was painful to the touch even now.

He let his hands cover up most of her lower back, rising up her hips so he could adjust her position. Her legs were like jelly, as she swayed slightly in the way Null placed her. Her head still pressed into the bed, along with her upper chest. Her hands braced herself on either side of her head, as her legs were spread open and up on her knees. She was fully presented to him, and she could hear the way he hesitated as he took in the sight below him.

Should’ve done this sooner. Should’ve ruined you.

The coolness of his finger slid between her folds once again, smearing around the remains of her arousal. A weak whine emitted from Venus, trying to press her hips back to get any more friction- but he kept her still.

He retracted his finger, as she heard and felt movement on the bed. His left hand pressed against her upper back, keeping her pinned onto the mattress as he hovered over her. A weak grunt came from him, as she heard something almost slide into place. A creak, as a stutter in Null’s breath was all she could really hear before something warm pressed against her.

You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this. Wanted to bury myself inside you and never leave.

Venus twitched almost violently as he pressed himself against her folds, rubbing her across the length of his.. she didn’t really know what it was. Was it his dick? Another sort of elongated tongue? It felt slick, but it throbbed heavily. She could feel the hardness as well, so she assumed it was some sort of genitle of his. Whatever Void Demons even had-

Stop thinking so damn loud. I can hear you.

Venus blushed, letting out a weak laugh as he kept grinding himself through her soaked folds. The tip of his mysterious dick slid against her clit over and over, eliciting moans from the two as they seeked friction. Null only did this a few more times, before the hand pressing Venus into the mattress suddenly gripped into her hair.

Venus’s eyes snapped open as she felt him prod the head into her entrance, holding her breath in anticipation. She wanted him so bad, and she knew if anyone she knew saw her in this position- there wouldn’t be enough answers to give them. All she knew was that she was about to split open, and she wasn’t mentally prepared at all.

Her thoughts were suddenly cut off by him sliding in, easier than she thought. A deep grumble left Null, as he continued to press harder into her. The intrusion was nothing she’s ever felt before. The width of his dick was just enough to make her stretch more than ever before, but not tear her open. It was a wonderful, and deep stretch from within- and it made her skin go on fire. 

Venus was incoherent at this point, as Null had pressed her head into the pillow below her to muffle her. His hands tangled deep within her hair, yanking on it and holding firm at the same time. The sight below him made him growl once more, a stutter of his hips making Venus tremble.

So wet for me. Your little cunt is taking every inch I give her, but she wants more- doesn’t she?

Null’s other hand now settled on Venus’s ass cheek. Gripping the fat, and spreading her open even more for his hungry eyes to see. He kept sliding in, painfully slow, and dragging his cock through every square inch of her core. It was agonizing bliss. Torturous pleasure. Every single nerve ending within Venus’s body came alive all at once, and they were singing his name.

He sheathed himself fully into her, their hips pressed together snugly. Venus couldn’t see him at the moment, but she heard him take another deep breath. The hand that held her head was shaking slightly, as his hips shifted further against her. He was trying to have her adjust, but Venus knew he was trying to not lose his mind then and there.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re a virgin. 

His hand yanked up her hair slightly, bringing her head up so she could see the wall in front of her. His mouth came closer, whispering right into her ear.

But you and I both know you’re a little slut.

In that exact moment, Null pulled his hips back. Dragging himself through her snug walls, before snapping himself back forward. A loud moan escaped Null, as Venus let out a shriek of surprise.

He started at a brutal pace, the natural slickness of his cock and her already soaked pussy made it too easy for him to thrust in and out. Deeper than she’s ever felt before, almost as if he was trying to reach into the depths of her soul from inside of her.

Her hands were grabbing at the covers frantically, trying so hard to keep up with every thrust that rocked her forward. She bit into the pillow, as Null now pressed her face back down into the mattress. He wasn’t trying to be careful. He was taking and she could barely handle it.

“N- Null.” Venus whimpered out, muffled by the soft pillow between her teeth. She groaned shortly after, electricity crackling up her spine with each erratic thrust. “You’re going to break the bed if you-“

Good. Maybe then you’ll realize how real this is.

A snarl came from Null’s mouth, as his claws pressed ever so slightly into her scalp. She was forced deeper into her arch, her head pressed fully into the mattress and her hips as far as they can physically lift. She could feel the strain in her knees, struggling to keep herself up to meet his thrusts. It was brutal, but it was desperate.

Venus was murmuring incoherently at this point, pleading with Null to slow down or to catch her breath, but he never slowed. He only became rougher the longer he spent in her cunt, as if the tightness was driving him further insane. 

He let go of her hair, both hands coming to spread her ass cheeks apart. He tilted his head to the side, a firm grip on her as it was the only thing keeping her from collapsing onto the bed.

Look at you. Taking it all. Taking every last inch like a good-

He interrupted himself with a thrust in between his words, grunting out the rest.

Good girl. I should fill you to the brim, and bury myself within you forever. 

He gripped her ass cheek harder, his clawed thumb pressing into her skin gently as he laughed. A harsh, and almost surprised laugh as he softly slapped the skin.

I felt that. You want to be filled, don’t you? You enjoy the thought of carrying my seed around, hm? What would they think of you then, I wonder. Corrupted by me, and then turned into my little personal cocksleeve. 

Venus was shivering, her hands gripping at the sheets so tight her knuckles began to turn white. She was fighting every inch of her body that wanted to relax- she wanted to feel the way he kept pounding into her. It was something she craved so deeply- and it was now finally coming true.

The sounds she made were practically inhuman, as she was trying so hard to not just scream into the open air like she was dying. She was biting her lip so hard that it started to bleed, and tears started to well up in her eyes. It was too much. It wasn’t enough. It was perfect, and world ending at the same time.

You’re holding back. Don’t.

Venus shook her head, a weak whine coming from the back of her throat. “Don’t- don’t.. wanna.” Her voice was hoarse, and wavering as she tried to look over her shoulder. “Want.. more.”

You can barely take this, and you’re begging for more? I can’t believe you.

His hands came down to her shoulders, suddenly heaving her up so she was standing on her shaky knees. Her back pressed against his chest, as his arm looped around her neck to keep her upright.

I should keep going until you pass out. Maybe you’d finally get it through your thick skull that I’m right.

Venus’s eyes rolled back into her head, the new position making him slide and hit in places she’s never felt before. It was feral, nearly rabid, as he began to use her as a flesh light. Her hands gripped at the arm around her neck, as he now began to squeeze slowly.

He sped up, his hips slapping against her ass so hard it echoed around the room. Her body ached. He was being so rough, and Null wasn’t going to let up.

The one hand that wasn’t looped around her neck slid down her stomach, carefully feeling the curvature of her abdomen before pressing against her lower stomach. A small indent was pressing through from inside, as he caressed and pressed down into it.

There we go. Taking me so well.

Venus’s mouth was agape, drool pooling at the sides of her mouth as he kept up the pace. It was like he’d never get tired, even with his heavy panting directly in her ear. He never let up, or weakened his hold on her. 

His hand kept moving south, though. Past her lower stomach, and down to where her clit was. The pad of his index finger pressed firmly against the bud, rubbing in tight circles once again.

Cum. Cum, and I’ll fill you as many times as you want.

Venus groaned out in effort to try and not pass out right then and there. He wasn’t squeezing his arm enough around her neck to choke her, but the sensation along with the thrusting and playing with her clit- it shoved her over the edge.

Everything seemed to freeze as her breath caught in her lungs. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, as his arm tightened its grip slowly. He kept moving in and out, drawing out the earth shattering orgasm that rocked through Venus’s body. 

She didn’t realize how much her body was shaking until Null finally relented, dropping his head to bury into the crook of her neck. A shuddering breath came from him, as warmth started to pool deep within her. It set every hair on her body standing, as she now completely relaxed into his arms.

He grunted deeply, moving the two of them so they could lay on the bed. He wrapped one of his arms around her waist, steadying her as he kept them connected. It could’ve been seen as tender, but Venus couldn’t even think nor see that much. 

Her eyes were unfocused, the darkness of the room shrouding over them more than what she was used to. She felt numb, and tingly. Weak against Null’s chest. She felt like he took her apart at the seams, ripped out everything and put her all back together all at once. 

Null’s hand splayed across her stomach, while the other brushed the hair that stuck to her neck away. It was comforting, as his mouth pressed softly to the spot behind her ear.

You’re exhausted. Sleep.

“I’m.. fine.” Venus mumbled out, her eyelids already starting to close. Her body hasn’t been this relaxed in– ever. It was like Null grabbed the switch within her brain, and forced her body to finally let go of all the stress within her.

Sure you are.

.

..

…

She did fall asleep.

It was the longest time she was asleep without waking up. No nightmares, no dreams even- she fell asleep, and woke up in her bed. Fully clothed, and the covers strewn across her.

She groaned, stopping to lift her head up before her body ached. She gripped at the covers, through them off of her to see her clothes were indeed slid back on. She tried desperately to grapple whether it was some fantasy, some fever induced dream that she had- but her hand drifted down her stomach, and against her hips.

She shifted her jeans out of the way, staring at the dark purple bruises that were against her hips and upper thighs. Her eyes widened, as she slowly moved it back into place and laid down. Her eyes on the ceiling, as her heart beat started to pick up in her ears.

What, you thought that wasn’t real?

“Shut up.”

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