A Love Letter to Shifting
The day I found shifting, was the day my soul came alive. My whole life I had been searching desperately, without even knowing what I was searching for. Hiding away, music in my ears as I dreamed about going to different worlds, childish fantasies that I never thought would come to fruition.
It always felt like a piece of me was missing, my whole life. I never felt complete, never felt like a whole person. Then shifting came along, it felt like looking into a possible future that was so blindingly bright and beautiful that I couldn't help but be flooded with hope. Could I truly take control of my life? Could I actually live and love the way I have always desired to? Would I even be able to accomplish a feat so amazing?
It took 5 and a half years to finally shift but I would not change a single thing. Now, having shifted, having experienced this magical thing, I can confidently say: I would go back and do it all over again even with the uncertainty of knowing if I would actually shift by the end of it. I would try even if there was a 0.000001% chance to shift. I would love every struggle, the terrible experience that it may or may not be; with certain failure on the horizon just for a sliver of a chance for me to shift.
To experience even a moment of the beauty of shifting that I am familiar with now, I would rather fail a hundred times over, than not find out about something this magical. I would bear any pain and disappointment if it meant that I could have the opportunity of even trying to shift. There are truly not enough words to describe how much I adore shifting.
I have only been to one other reality, my WR so far, and I cry tears of joy often for even getting the chance to experience another reality at all. A reality that I feel safe in, a reality where I spend time with the love of my life. Every day I go there, I count the leaves on the trees and plants in my garden, I run my fingers over the walls just to remind myself that yes, this is real and yes, I did it. I look stupid, aggressively sniffing the flowers, then awe and tenderness replaces that expression when I hear my s/o laugh endearingly at my antics.
Looking in the mirror and seeing me, the face that I scripted, staring back at me. It is so surreal and amazing, I sometimes can't even believe it!
My immense joy cannot be explained, shifting has brought me the kind of happiness that I never thought I could feel. You don't even know how rare and beautiful it is to even have the privilege to simply know about shifting, to even try to shift, to fail to shift. Failing to shift is an honor, I see that now, though it would make my past self who was trying so hard every day very furious to hear. It is an honor to fail to shift because you have the opportunity to try, to even get close to finally shifting.
To actually experience the reality you have been trying to go to for years, it feels like you can do anything. Like the limiting and hopeless world you knew has dissolved and realising that the multiverse is endless feels like freedom of the highest level. The first time rush, the exhilarating feeling, the relief and then the tears as I freak out and touch everything in sight to ground myself. It is the second most cherished moment in my life, the first being finding out about shifting.
Sometimes, shifting feels as normal as walking into another room, sometimes it feels like the most powerful and magical ability to ever exist has been handed to you. No, not handed to you, you pried it out of fates hands and clutched it to your chest like the most precious thing you could hold. Because it is.
Now that I can shift whenever I want, I feel whole. I feel genuinely happy with my life. Everything, negative and positive, that has ever happened to me has led me to the place I am today. How rare and beautiful it is to even exist! I hope everyone is able to feel this way. I hope every shifter can succeed and never give up because this the best thing that I have ever done and will continue to do for the rest of my existence.