velveteen red rabbit

Hi, I'm red rabbit, I'm 23, I'm queer, this is my vent blog.

If you know me from somewhere else, please leave because I don't want to hurt your feelings. Friends, protect your wellbeing by leaving this place alone. This is a vent blog, it's not on my main for a reason. There are things here that may hurt you that I had to get out of my system. If I dont tell you something directly, it's because I value our friendship. I don't want my issues to sabotage it.

Much of this is too raw to read for people who know me. "The raw version" is not the truest version, it's just what my brain and emotions spat out.

I use this blog to keep track of how I think/feel when I get triggered for therapy reference, to see how to deal with those thoughts and where they started.

blog rules:

Don't reblog my posts with a character or franchise (ie, "#this is so sasuke" or "#percy jackson" *reblog with picture of vi* etc) unless you're a fictive/sourcemate of them, this applies to OC's too. I'm a real person and these are my real pain and struggles, its not "content', so please show compassion.

Otherwise, reposts are okay. And if you have a similar experience, you can give a bit of detail about the similarities/differences of the situation or similarities/differences in how it makes you feel in the tags, if you feel comfortable.

Please no reblogs with intense lengthy vents in the tags. Remember you can make your own vent blog if you want to! The world is your oyster.

If you cross these boundaries more than twice I may block you. No hard feelings, this is my safe space.

"Daddy issues" blogs about wanting for old men will be blocked. Same with ddlg or anything alike. There's plenty of blogs out there for you but I'm not one of them!

Blogs often mentioning ED's or sh will be blocked. I do sympathize with you but it's my boundaries for my wellbeing.

Be advised, this blog is sometimes explicit, including kinks. I tag kink so u can block it. There's talk of dark subjects. (I mean, it's a vent blog)

I block freely but as long as you follow these rules and try to be kind, you're welcome here

my vent tag: #velveteen vent | things that remind me of past years: #velvetimecapsule

divider credit: @ pixopix

editing of pics & quotes above: me

but once I'm not out doing some task with another person anymore I just don't feel fulfilled at all and wonder if I ever will be. Like

every day, going from "hm this is nice" to "what am I even here for, I can't see my friends, I'm poor, I'm dumb, I'm not cute rn, I don't want to 'find a bf/gf' bc the last thing I want is to try and woo somebody bc I HHHATE HATE HATE competition. But knowing myself, I'll need a partner to be happy in life and I can't expect someone ideal 4 me to just fall head over heels for me without effort from my end.

I hate life. Everything is a competition somehow. Classism, school, work, love, family, even friendships sometimes. And I don't want to participate but if I don't ill die.

Maybe I'll just become a Buddhist and embrace suffering and leave regular lifestyles behind. Lol probably not

Like I have no choice to participate in the constant stamping onto me of my apparent, societally-defined level of monetary value and desirability value and healthiness value.

And if I don't, I can't get a job, I can't find a date, I can't make enough money to live, I cant get a downpayment on an apartment or car bc I dont seem like an Upstanding Person™️! who cares about their appearance and their confidence enough to be worthy of having their basic needs filled, apparently!! Amazing!!!

I hate this country I hate this nothing is worth it and it's meant to crush us.