on and on the music plays

Finwë's second son was Fingolfin, and he spoke against Fëanor, he swore not the oath and he did not bloody his soul at Alqualondë. Yet Fingolfin too went to Middle-earth, there he too was slain, and the bards' songs tell of his last battle with the iron-crowned. Only Finarfin, youngest of the Noldor princes, upon receiving the doom of Mandos, repented and returned to Tirion, where he ruled the Noldor of Valinor.

The Roman Speculatius propositions Caesar with a new plan to conquer the indomitable Gaulish village: Where military might has failed, economic manipulation shall succeed. Caesar agrees, feigning to abandon his campaign and withdrawing all troops from the four camps around the village.

Sceptical, the Gauls go to investigate, but find that the camps truly are empty, safe for one person: Speculatius, disguised as a merchant. With him he has a large number of "Persian rugs", which he claims are all the rage in Lūtētia right now, and could be sold there for a huge profit. Alas, without the protection of the legionaries, he does not dare make the journey for fear of bandits. Here in the countryside though, the rugs are nothing but dead weight to him, and he would be willing to part with them for way below market value. The Gauls, excluding only Astérix and Getafix, are won over by Speculatius's promises of high fashion and higher profit margins, and are eager to buy his entire stock – only they have no sestertiī to trade with. Thankfully, the clever merchant comes up with a solution: By melting down their weapons, the Gauls can mint their own coinage, which he would graciously accept at a generous exchange rate. Dismissing the warning words of Astérix and Getafix, the villagers proceed to melt all metal they can get their hands on into GaulCoin, keeping only Vitalstatistix's shield, Fullyautomix's hammer an anvil, and Cacofonix's lyre (he wants to trade it but the others won't allow him, fearing that without his lyre he'd resort to singing). Obélix, in lieu of any metal items, offers Speculatius a menhir, but he is not interested, nor does he want any of Unhygienix's fish. The entire scheme almost fails when a fight breaks out between the Gauls over who's face to put on their coin, but Speculatius suggests Dogmatix as a compromise that most villagers get behind. Astérix and Getafix, trusting neither the Romans' sudden withdrawal nor the suspiciously generous merchant, send Dogmatix to deliver an important message, its content and recipient unknown for now.

Having disarmed the Gauls as planned, Speculatius leaves, and the Roman garrisons, who have been camping in the forests nearby, prepare to take the defenseless village. However, when the legionnaires line up, they too are missing their pīla and gladiī. You see, centuriō, we got wind of this great investment opportunity – Persian rugs, very chic, all the rage in Mediolānum – but as you know, centuriō, our pay is not that good, and when it comes to trading, you have to act fast and decisive and be willing to take a few risks sometimes – ālea iacta est and all – so yes, we did sell our weapons, but once the returns on these rugs come in, we can buy them all back, covered in gold if we wanted. With both sides unarmed, the Gauls handily win the ensuing brawl, fighting with fists and fish and of course Getafix's magic potion.

But they are not safe quite yet, as Caesar, not fully trusting Speculatius and his plan, approches with fresh, heavily armed soldiers from the elite regiment stationed in Lūtētia. As the Gauls are preparing for a final, desperate battle however, a messenger from Rome arrives at Caesar's camp. A dog was found carrying insider information on lucrative trades, he tells, and as a result the patriciī have invested their entire fortune in goods from the Orient and novelty coins featuring the prophetic dog, taking on large loans to outbid one another. In anachronistic anticipation of the Crisis of the Third Century, this increase in money has led to hyperinflation and devaluation of currency. Upon learning that their pay is now as good as worthless, the legionaries under general Posthumous go on strike, and Caesar is forced to return to Rome empty handed. The Gauls meanwhile trade boars from the local forest for the legionaries' equipment, restoring stātus quō ante historiam. They celebrate with a customary feast, sitting on their rugs.