You deserve the world.

i am evil and gay. i commune with the rats. i have 17 knives. i don’t have horns yet but i’m working on it.

Talk to your inner demons the way rich old white ladies talk to any retail employee.

“I know what I need thank you. Please stop talking to me it’s very annoying.”

“Literally who hired you?”

every semicolon i’ve ever used has been a shot in the dark

Semicolon use is actually quite simple; semicolons separate two complete, related sentences.

cool; bro

[texts back three years later] haha not much what about you

au where gatsby Doesn’t Die™ and instead realizes that he’s too good for daisy and that the true love he’d seen in his dreams he already had with nick carraway, who moves into his big empty house and it becomes a lot less empty somehow when they’re together and no one ever bothers them because gatsby doesn’t throw big ass parties all the time anymore. also daisy leaves her trash husband tom and elopes to a beach house with her lesbian lover, jordan baker, who teaches her how to be a lot less of an empty person. after a year or so nick and gatsby and daisy and jordan go on cute couples vacations together and tom is left to die alone.

never i repeat never put on time warp at a party unless you want the theatre kids to destroy your house

a bold assumption to think I would allow theatre kids within even 500 feet of my home

im gonna go shower and become wet like a crocodile my favorite beast

please for the love of GOD stay safe

did you just tell yourself to stay safe

Self care

me in a moshpit: sorry, sorry, excuse me, oh my god i’m so sorry, excuse me, sorry