vecktern

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

still beating deathstroke the terminator

Robin!Dick

Dick juggles anything he can get his hands on, including stuff like Bruce’s car keys, wallet, socks, etc. Bruce always eyes Dick warily when he’s juggling socks because sometimes Dick randomly throws the socks at Bruce’s head. “I’m just making sure your reflexes are up to snuff,” Dick says after he throws them and sees Bruce glaring at him.

When Dick is really young and attends galas with Bruce, Bruce stops schmoozing with people to help Dick make a plate of food. Dick holds on to his drink and tells Bruce what he wants as Bruce goes down the table to dole out food onto Dick’s plate. Bruce also sits with Dick while Dick is eating to make Dick feel more comfortable (plus he prefers Dick’s company to that of the other guests). If cake is involved, Bruce makes sure to load up on napkins so that he can wipe icing off Dick’s face. 

Nightwing!Dick

Dick refuses to be anywhere near cooked pork because the smell of it reminds him of his burnt flesh after Alexander scorched him.

He does not fuck with fire after everyone in his apartment complex burned to death/fire nearly killed him at the circus. He doesn't like being near it. Doesn't like the smell of it. Being around it always puts him in a terrible mood that lasts for days. He's more likely to ignore people and stew in guilt on those days. It's a bad time all around for him.

Every now and then Dick will ask Damian, "Kid, what did you do to your hair?" because sometimes Damian puts too much gel in his hair, and Dick always finds himself having to help him fix it.

Jason is the only one who can get away with calling Dick "Dickie." If anyone else calls him this, Dick will scrunch up his face and tersely remind them to just call him Dick.

Dick sings “Barbara Ann” by The Beach Boys just to piss Babs off.

Bruce buys Dick one of those huge Lovesacs for his birthday. When Donna drops by Dick’s apartment to visit him, she sees the Lovesac and immediately jumps on it. Dick joins her, naturally. They then video call Roy to show the Lovesac off, and before they know it, Roy has brought Lian over to Dick’s house for a movie night. After they take turns throwing Lian on the Lovesac, all four of them manage to climb on it together. This becomes their preferred way to watch movies together, especially since they usually always fall asleep on it.

If Dick ever hurts one of his legs (or if his leg that got shot ever starts acting up), he walks on his hands to get around, but only for short distances.

It's not really a conscious decision usually, but if he's thirsty and there's a drink within reach he'll take it rather than go all the way to the kitchen to get his own. if his cup is empty at dinner, he'll reach over a take a sip from one of his siblings', or, most often, Bruce's, cups. It drives everyone insane, in a funny, exasperated "why are you like this" rather than genuinely angry way, especially Alfred (though Dick doesn't usually steal his drinks, seeing him do it at all makes Alfie's eye twitch a little).

Bruce at this point has just given up saying anything about it. He hasn't had a drink to himself that wasn't alcoholic since 2003. At least he knows his kid is staying hydrated. It's fine. Really.

Family includes first and second generation Titans, Clark, and Diana btw. Wally will just hand Dick his cup before Dick can even reach for it and Roy tries, in vain, to keep his cup away but Dick gives him puppy eyes. Roy rolls his and hands it over.

It's a left over habit from when he was young, his parents did it too. Mary also had a habit of never finishing her drinks and just handing her cup to John or Dickie to finish so they could go ahead and wash it with the rest of the dishes.

If someone asks him to grab them a drink, he'll take a sip before handing it over. His usual excuse is that he overfilled it a little and didn't want to spill, but it's actually because if he has a drink in his hand he drinks it on instinct before he remembers that it's for someone else. When it's someone he knows it annoys just a little he does it and calls it a delivery fee.

It's actually kind of sweet in a gross way. Like I said, he only does it to family, so whenever a new sibling comes along the first time it happens it's kind of a weird form of acknowledgement and claiming.

Aight headcanon that in 2003 poor itsy bitsy Dickie grabbed a whiskey out of Bruce's hand at a gala and drank it before anyone could stop him. A lot of coughing and spluttering ensued, ruining Bruce's suit, and his teensy lightweight son was most definitely tipsy for the next hour.

Okay, so I don't think I'm wrong here, but he's been really upset (not mad, but he gives me these really sad looks that make me want to apologize over and over again).

Background:

I (m17) lost my father a year ago. My brother (N, m24) focused on my new little brother (R, m11, we just found out about him, mom not in the picture) because he thought I would handle myself. R and I didn't get along initially because we were jealous of each other and he took every opportunity to antagonize me. N took away something very important to me and gave it to R without telling me, and I found out when I walked in on R gloating. N's defense was that he knew I wouldn't take it well so he planned to tell me later, and that R needed it more. We argued and both said some things we wish we could take back.

(I don't blame him for any of this anymore, it was a very hard time for all of us and he was thrust into our father's shoes while grieving. We've talked, and I know he did what he thought was best for me and R, because he believed placing me as an equal to him would show that he trusted me. But he apologized for not understanding how much taking it away would hurt me and that I still wanted to be a kid, not an adult, and I apologized for not being more understanding of his position. We've moved on and are working on our relationship.)

Anyway, the main conflict was that I believed our father was still alive and nobody else did. My other older brother (RH, m21) was the exception, but he's estranged and didn't want to get involved.

(Side note: my siblings except for R are all adopted by our father, but I got emancipated after his supposed death)

N said I was going crazy due to grief and insinuated that I should be locked up in Arkham (an asylum in my city for the criminally insane). I chose to leave to find proof that my father was alive.

Fast forward six months and I found proof, but in the midst of it, I had to have an emergency splenectomy. When I came back and gave them proof to bring my father back, relationships were still strained so I didn't tell anyone. We reconciled in time, but I still didn't see the need to tell them as it wasn't important to them.

The issue:

A week ago, R caught a nasty flu. N wanted me to give him his medicine, I declined. N, frustrated because he thought I was just being difficult, told me to just be nice to R when he’s sick and that it won't cost me anything. I snapped back that it may cost me my life, not that he would care.

Something in N's expression shattered, and he let out a little, "what?" I remembered too late that I didn't tell him I lost my spleen. I tried to backtrack, but he kept pushing until I finally admitted I lost my spleen and under what circumstances. He was devastated, and I felt really bad for not telling him because he looked like he was on the verge of tears (he's really emotional, and that year took a toll on us and is still a sensitive topic). N asked whether it's because I didn't trust him, and I said I didn't know.

Ever since then, N has been hovering over me and bugging me about my health and diet and sleeping and working habits. He told the rest of the family and they've been overbearing as well.

N, however, still feels very guilty about the whole situation. I feel bad for making him upset, but I still stand by the fact that I did nothing wrong by not telling him. I think it was just unfortunate circumstances and that neither of us are to blame. R vehemently says that I'm the AH for never saying anything because my family and I engage in an activity that gets us injured frequently. He said I endangered myself and others by not telling them (he's worried about me and that's how he shows it, and probably also feels responsible about how I lost my spleen because his maternal grandfather was involved and he's got trauma surrounding him)

I have never grieved in the most conventional or healthy of ways. Originally, I didn't want to believe he was dead, but I kept that to myself because I knew it was irrational. Then I found proof (personal, can't get into it). It's another reason I felt betrayed when N didn't trust me—he'd seen me grieve many people before (my parents, several friends, then-girlfriend, etc) and knew that I didn't grieve like that. He knew what my grief is like and still didn't trust that, at the very least, I wasn't just in denial.

Why am I using a throwaway account?

My family is very well-known, and so is my Reddit.

Why is it only N I'm concerned is hurting?

I'm concerned about R as well, but we have no precedent of trust or honesty, so he'll be fine. Everyone else can go choke (RH not included—he was off doing his own thing. He's fucked me over in many ways over the years, but this isn't one of them) for all I care. N is the only one that has the right to feel upset because—as I said before—I have no precedent of trust or honesty with the rest of my family. N and I were very close previously.

Why am I beefing with an 11 year old?

He tried to kill me. Several times. He pushed me off several very high places and stabbed me. I got over it though, and he's apologetic now. Maybe someday he'll actually apologize.

BABS (10 years old)

Dick: My name’s dick

Babs: That’s a bad word.

Dick: No? It’s my name?

Babs: Daddy says it’s naughty to say bad words.

Dick: But it’s my name?

Babs: I’m gonna go ask daddy *runs up to commissioner Gordon* daddy, that kid says his name is Dick, can I say it when I’m talking about him?

Dick: *the son of immigrant parents, grown up speaking an amalgamation of Easter European dialects and was names after Dick Tracy still confused as to why his name is a bad word*

***

Jason

Dick: Hey buddy, I know this is all very new but my name is Dick and I—

Jason: hold up, hold up. Dick?

Dick: yeah, I know, I know but —

Jason: Damn and I thought my parents were assholes.

***

Tim

This little stalker already knew Dick’s entire biography, so there wasn’t a reaction, bless him.

***

Damian

He was brought up by assassins, also no particular reaction.

***

Steph

Dick: nice to meet you Stephanie, my name’s Dick.

Steph: you said Dick?

Dick: short for Richard, yes.

Steph: Nice. *nods*

***

Cass (Cass uses sign language because I said so)

Dick: *finger spells D I C K*

Cass: *there’s a sign for that*

Dick: yeah but we ain’t gonna use it, kiddo.

***

Wally (13 years old)

Dick: it’s so cool to meet other sidekicks! I’m Dick.

Wally: as in your name is Dick?

Dick: Yes *blushing because now he knows why everyone is reacting like it’s strange*

Wally: Ok from now on I’m gonna be the one to introduce you to anyone we meet, deal? Oh you’ll see man it’ll be so much fun *proceeds to list out all of the ways they could sneak dick jokes into conversations*

***

Roy

Wally: Roy, I have the pressure to introduce you to my Dick.

Roy: what the fuck do you mean now!?

Dick: *quadruple flips over Wally and lands in between them* ta-da!!!

Roy: who’s the kid?

Wally *placing an hand on Dick’s shoulder*: this, is my Dick

Roy: that’s your actual name?

Dick: it is.

Roy *looking between the other two*: ok I want in on your plans to introduce him to the others

————

…what if an element of the mystery is WHO covered up the crime? Because it seems like there are two parts to the murder—someone killed the person, and then someone else covered it up. Like there are very clear elements that put two distinct parties at two separate times at the scene.

And so the story is all “well who covered it up, it had to be one of the bats, right???”

WRONG.

It was the fucking Joker.

For two reasons.

The first—because he knows that Batman’s whole thing means that Batman’s probably going to quit if he finds out he killed someone which…BOO, HISS, BORING.

The second—

BECAUSE IF BATMAN IS GOING TO KILL ANYONE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIM!

Batman killing some RANDOM HENCHMAN over THE GODDAMN JOKER???

It’s just…it’s WRONG, is what it is. And not the fun kind of wrong, it’s the kind of wrong that is fundamentally incompatible with the laws of the universe…

And so the Joker must correct it by doing his best to erase everything about it ever happening and everyone can be happy, hooray, good guy Joker!

(Why yes there may be some meta-commentary here about retcons.)

Summary: With his grades slipping, Tim worries Bruce will take Robin away. So when the Red Hood breaks into his room with the intent to kill him, Tim decides it's a good idea to ask him for help on his English homework.

It works. And then it doesn't. And then Tim solves a mystery and almost dies anyway.