happy little pill.

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He shied away from him for a moment, truly hurt by his sentiments before sighing. “But we aren’t your family Alucard. We are but...I didn’t run around the halls of some family mansion or-or estate hand and hand with my brother, you did. I’m not reading Ashton and Kai bedtime stories, your sister did that for you. And then here you are, half dead because of them. And for what? A mob family? Some sort of blood oath? It just doesn’t make sense to me and I just want you guys to be happy and care about each other like you said you used to.” And maybe that was his fault, maybe Blue had got so wrapped up in living vicariously through Angel and stories of guilded halls and beautiful, loving mothers that the obsession for it clouded his mind from the true monsters they were. The true monster Alucard probably was, and yet he couldn’t imagine not loving him.

Blue allowed himself to be pulled into the vampires lap. His small legs bent at the knees comfortably allowing him to settle down so they were eye level. He sighed, tears welling in his eyes once more as they touched heads, “I’m sorry you had a bad day baby.” It was as if they both just gave up. Not in the literal sense but he could feel the way the heaviness of their conversation and the day hung heavy on them, deciding to put it all to rest for now.

the chaos of cosmic dust; @vcxxangel​

Alucard sighed as Blue ranted at him. “Princess, this is what my life is. This is why I tried to hide it from you. Do you think that I enjoy coming home to you looking worse for wear? Do you think I want to explain why my fucking arm looks like it was mangled by a psycho? Do you think I want to worry you, Blue?” He washed his body as good as he could with only one arm and turned off the shower. Alucard wrapped a towel around his waist before drying off in their bedroom and pulling on a pair of silk lounge pants. 

The pure blood sat on the couch, silent, as he watched Blue prepare the drugs. “Have you ever known the feeling of fighting with a sibling only to realize halfway through that they’re fighting to the death? I had that realization, today. The feeling of knowing that your own flesh and blood wants you dead hurts more than a fucking broken arm. Like it’s not even the first time but this time felt different. It wasn’t a hit or a set up. He was using his bare hands. That’s fucked up.” He couldn’t help but to chuckle at the realization. 

“I could have killed him. Three more seconds and he would have been dead. But his death was never what I wanted. Yeah, most days I can’t stand Dragan. He knows it. Sypha knows you. Shit, everyone knows it. But at the end of the day, I’d murder a whole city to protect him. But knowing that he wants me dead kinda puts me in a weird spot.” Shrugging, he let his head fall back onto the couch. “What if I just walked away from it all; Nightbloods, my family, Agdoeg? What if we just cleaned out my account and fucked off to some town where nobody knows who we are? Or what if I did us all a favor and took myself out of the equation? I know my family would love that.”

His head lulled forward and he shot a smile at Blue. “It’s not realistic. But it sure is nice to dream about.” He winced as the final bone seemed to pop back into place. Slowly, he lifted his arm and tried to bend it. “See, good as new.” He spoke through the last of the pain. “As long as I can come home to you, nothing else in my fucked up life really matters.”

☾

Blue didn’t say anything at first, simply poured a bit of the baggies contents on the dark glass of the coffee table. He took the ends of the card, sliding it along the smooth expanse of it as he gathered the pile into a slender line, before slicing it into individual lines. Going on to do the same with both a sling or glittering tear dripped down his iridescent skin as he listened to Alucard talk.

“No,” he sniffed, “no I don’t know what it’s like to fight with a sibling. Or a parent, or a cousin, or an uncle or any fucking one that can be your flesh and blood Alucard, because the only person I really have on this God forsaken planet, in this disgusting, evil, filthy city is you. All I have is you. And right now you’re sitting behind me, talking about taking the one thing I’ve ever loved that didn’t hurt me away from me because of how those people, that I dreamed of at night when we first met, make you want to do that.” Blue could vividly remember when Alucard first told him he had siblings, not like he didn’t know at least a little bit, the whispers in the precinct were always about the Jeups and he had to assume if Alucard was one there’d be others. He remembered how he’d lay awake, wondering how they were, if Sypha was doting and caring, would he feel the warmth of a mother in her smile, or the strength of an older sister in her hugs. He’d wondered if Dragan liked video games, and was he a bratty baby brother like he assumed all were. But the longer and longer he craved to be apart of that family the more and more their skeletons poured into his life. His life he thought he’d cleaned up.

Blue wipes his face with the back of his hand, glitter still scattered along his cheeks even as he leaned down and sucked a line through his nose. It was an image he’d known far too well, disappointingly so. He finally turned to face him, his brows furrowing in sorrow at Alucard’s smile. “Your arm is good…but what about everything else.” The elf asked him, eyes falling as they watered all over again.

the chaos of cosmic dust; @vcxxangel​

“I didn’t fight back because it was Sypha. I’m not about to beat up my sister. My arm will heal and it’ll make her feel like she did something right as an older sister. I left Dragan on the floor in worse condition. Pretty sure he thought he was gonna die.” He got out of his underwear and turned on the water. “So, are you showering with me or getting drugs?” He asked before stepping into the spacious shower. 

The water fell over him like a rain storm and it would have been very poetic, considering the day he had. But he did t have time for poetic thoughts when his arm felt like hell as it healed itself. He was starting to be able to wiggle his fingers but it would still be about an hour before he’d be able to have full function of the limb. He perked his head out at his soulmate and smiled, softly. “I really do like the new hair. What made you want to change it?”

He’d only known Blue to have his signature blue hair as long as he’d known him. But this dark hair was lighting a fire that he wasn’t even aware was trying to burn. “What if I cut off my hair? Do you think I’d still be just as hot?” He joked, knowing he wasn’t going to cut his hair anytime soon. “Or maybe I should dye mine? Maybe blonde?” He stuck his head back into the shower. 

☾

“I don’t care that it was Sypha! What if one day one of them actually hurts you Alucard? You said last time you think your own brother was trying to get you killed! Why are you being so fucking nonchalant about all of this?” Blue couldn’t wrap his head around the dynamic. His entire life he craved for a family. Hoped for someone to take him in, to have brothers and sisters like Alucard did. How could they continue to hurt him this way? And why was he so okay with letting it happen.

As much as Blue bitched and whined it hurt him. Having to dig bullets out of Alucard’s body was traumatizing, he had nightmares of not being fast enough, of watching him bleed out on the bathroom floor and yet he seemed to be the only one who cared at all. “Stop talking about my fucking hair Alucard Jeup.” Blue barked, fed up with the dismissing of the situation, the cosmic energy beginning to boil over once more. Stars and galaxies began to pool in the toxic mask of lighting at he stared up at the vampire.  

“And you’re never going to do shit with your hair if you’re goddamned dead.” The elf growled before stomping out of the bathroom. With a bratty huff  went to their coffee table, crouching next to it to it to pull out the little antique box he’d bought them to stash their less than desirable things. Maybe he needed a line too, the more and more things got stressful with Alucard and these so-called Night Blood’s the more Blue found himself spiraling back into a dark hole he’d been running from the past few years.

The little clear baggie filled with white powder biting his bottom lip with a soft sigh before settling on his knees in front of the table, Alucard’s black card in hand.

Ashton smiled as they pulled away. “It was just because.” He answered back before pulling him back into a kiss. Kissing Blue was a lot different from kissing Kai or even the quick kisses he’d recently shared with Alucard. Kissing Blue was always so soft and never rushed. Even when their bodies were reacting in ways that made them want to ravage each other, their kisses always seemed sweet. “Blue?” He questioned, lips brushing against the smaller man’s. “I…do you want to get out of here? We could go back to yours or mine?”

He bit down on his bottom lip, hoping Blue would catch on to what he was asking of him. They had done a lot of making out and dry humping. But they’d never gone all the way. It wasn’t because they didn’t want to. It just never seemed like the right time to do it. Ashton was sentimental and he didn’t want it to just randomly happen on the couch or anything like that. He wanted it to be special. He wanted to be sure that this was something special and by now, he was definitely sure of it.

☾

There were moments like this where Blue really got to take a look at Ashton. He had the prettiest smile he’d ever seen, his face often had this brightness to it that was hard to ignore. Looking at him forced the warmth of petals to bloom in his chest and the fox had sank his claws into them each time. It was these moments that told him he’d like Ash for a long time, as he couldn’t remember a moment where he didn’t feel this way. The sun always seemed to peek from behind a cloud in the gumiho’s presence, even if it was pouring rain. 

As the younger leaned back into his orbit Blue could feel eyes on them, and for once he hadn’t felt the need to pull away, simply slipping a digit along the exposed skin on Ashton’s arm, notating the way the energy shifted between them. Their pulsating adoration was now sparking with an electric mirth that made the idea of  ‘getting out of here,’ much more enticing. “We haven’t even finished our picniiiiic,” he teased with a flirtatious smile, placing a hand on his broad chest to push him away slightly. “But sure, let’s pack up, I think our old apartment is closer.”

Sin held his phone between his ear and shoulder and he locked the door behind him. “Okay, just stay calm. I’m on my way. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Just sit down wherever you are and don’t touch anything. I’ll stay on the line, okay?” He made it to his car and He put his phone on speaker before he sped out of his parking spot, glad that the streets were fairly empty at this time. When it came to Blue, he felt the need to protect him. He had learned a lot about the man in the time that they’d known each other and he knew Blue wasn’t the type to easily ask for help. 

That was why he knew that this was serious. His voiced was always so melodic to Sin’s ears but tonight the melodious timber was a clash of notes that seemed to haunt him.   “Blue, I need you to take deep and steady breaths. I want you to calm down and just breathe.” He pulled into the street that he knew belonged to Blue’s boyfriend. He parked on the street and turned off the car. “I’m here. I’m coming up to the apartment, now.” He stood outside the door, bracing himself for whatever scene was behind it. “Blue, it’s me.” He called out as he opened the door.

He entered the apartment and stepped deeper inside. The smell of blood hit him before he saw it. The scene before him could be likened to a Wes Craven movie. He looked down at what was left of the man and tried to stay composed. He’d never seen a body so mangled. “Blue, what happened? Are you hurt?”

☾

Blue remained stationed in the corner of the room, in between sobbing and hyperventilating as he waited for Shinwoo to show. A familiar deep drawl stepped through the door accompanied by the thunder of the hellhounds shoes along the floor. 

Quickly he sprung to his feet, hysterically approaching him attempting to get the story out in his shortened pants. “I didn’t mean to I promise, I promise, please believe me, I promise I didn’t mean to. I don’t even know how I did it.” His usually poised hands practically clawing at his muscular body. He didn’t know what to say, words lost him aside from jilted pleas.

He couldn’t even bring himself to tell him what actually happened, even as his little shorts barely hung to his hips as they laid half hazardly open. “Please hyung, please I promise I didn’t mean to.” It felt like his mind was breaking, the full weight of the situation finally settling into his bones now that someone else was seeing it. Now that an officer was seeing it.

“Sin hyung....Sin hyung I can’t go to....what do I do, please just tell me what to do my heads going to fucking explode.” As he spoke the room surged with energy again, sprinkling stars and galaxies into the room with sparks of electricity.

vcblue​:

the chaos of cosmic dust; @vcxxangel​

Alucard groaned as he made the drive back to his penthouse. His broken arm hung limp by his side as it slowly began to heal itself. Sypha always had to play the role of the peacemaker. But she should realize that he and Dragan would probably never have the relationship that they once had. He pulled up to the familiar building and let the valet take his car. He could already hear Blue making a fuss over him as he took the elevator up. 

He fumbled with his keys until he got the door opened and was greeted by his boyfriend. “First, you look hot as fuck, Princess. Second, put down the bat. Third, I fought with my siblings. Well, I mostly kicked Dragan’s ass but Sypha wouldn’t let that slide so, she broke my arm because we broke her ugly ass table.” He hung up his jacket and placed a kiss to Blue’s cheek. “I’m gonna take a shower. Then I really just want to get high. Can you get some lines ready while I clean up? Or you can come help me shower. My arm is healing but it fucking hurts.”

He walked into the bedroom and used his good hand to remove his pants after toeing off his shoes. “Blue, can you help me unbutton my shirt?” He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. “It’s probably gonna take another hour until I can move my fucking arm again. If anything she should have been breaking Dragan’s arms and legs. He started the fight. All I did was finish it. Their lucky I didn’t kill his annoying ass.”

☾

He chose to ignore the compliment, even though a rose toned blush crept over his cheeks and the pointed tips of his ears that stuck out beneath his growing hair. As soon as he’d uttered the words the bat thunked loudly to the wooden floor, Blue releasing it realizing he was no longer, see: never was, in any actual danger. 

At the mention of his siblings crystaline eyes rolled dramatically. As much as he wanted to find his way intermingled into the Jeup family legacy by marrying their middle child, he couldn’t help the twinge of rage that sat at rolling boil. It was like every time their life settled into a small sense of stability, it was his own family that had sent him barreling back into the anxious fear of knowing he was of gang adjacency. Little bolts of energy zapped and buzzed around his head in fury and frustration, his pretty features scrunching in anger. “Aya~  how come every fucking time you talk to one of your siblings you end up hurt!” The elf yelled over his whine, stomping over to the vampire to help him into the bed room . 

“And why don’t you fucking fight back, I’ve literally seen you tear a person apart! You just let her break your arm?” He continued on, slender fingers unbuttoning Alucard’s shirt dramatically. Slowly he took the fabric off of the elder’s shoulders, over and down his limp arm, leaving him to do the rest. “It’s already hard enough seeing you like this, it makes it worse to know its done by the people who are supposed to care about you the most.”

blue had long since grown accustom to his new place in alucard’s apartment. he was finally officially moved in and while it was strange not living with ashton any longer being close to the elder sated the need to see his friend, now boyfriend, every day. besides, while the fox and his ghoul companion found a special place in his heart as his other pieces, the vampire was his eternal lover no matter how the dice rolled between the quartet.

the elf made use of his day off, working on a gown for kiyomi, impromptu dying his hair and finally finishing all his unpacking. once he’d found a stopping place on the garment, in the fleeting light of the setting sun, he made his way to take a quick shower in the grand bathroom before setting comfortably on the couch clad in a pair of his new fendi underwear, thanks to his rich lover, and one of the ghouls shirts. 

it was the fumbling through the doorway, again, caught his attention. standing to his feet he decided to open the door, knowing well that no one nefarious could get passed the many of night blood lackies that stood on all corners of the building. (though he still grabbed the metal bat next to the shoe rack before hand) as he pulled open the door he was met with the battered and  bruised aforementioned lover. 

“alucard. seriously?” he said hardly fazed. “what happened to you this time?”

A Meeting at Wits’ End

dabin felt like the bartender started to give him a lot of ice in his drinks nowadays. he hadn’t noticed it before, but as he swirled the blocks of ice in front of his face, he could swore they were far too large for this cup. maybe it was her trying to give him a message, he had always been nice to her, tipped her beyond the scope of acceptable and treated her with kindness and respect (didn’t try to flirt with her once). yes she listened to him vent and bitch a lot but he was pretty sure it was part of her job description. and given the issues that the gangs dealt with on day to day basis, he was sure he wasn’t the only one. ‘huh, that might be the problem.’

the only other person he vented to a lot was an elf with beautiful eyes. somehow in this haven from the rest of this wretched city, the two found solace in drowning out their feelings to a complete stranger. how it started had long been forgotten but the fact that it continues, gives him something to look forward to. because actual therapy is expensive. 

he had just come from a client meeting for a new art piece. the email detailed plenty of exposure opportunities for future clientelle and a large sum of cash for just drawing their family with bridgerton vibes. it wasn’t until he was being chased out the penthouse that he realised it was all a scam for rich people to screw over the lower class per usual. had they been supernatural, he could have challenged them. but they were humans so a colorful array of words and a threatening gaze was all that they recieved. he was sporting black dress pants, and a white button up rolled up half way up his forearm. the tie was somewhere around here while the suit jacket was thrown over the back of his chair. 

“my favorite drinking buddy.” he called back, dusting the seat off beside him rather dramatacilly. the two weren’t really buddies, hell dabin forgot their name sometimes as it was an unsual one. but he remembered this time. “where you been blue? haven’t seen you around lately.” although he saw the drink in their hand, he motioned towards the bartender for two more. she rolled her eyes then smiled and prepared it slowly in an attempt to help them finish their first. 

with a smile blue slid onto the decaying stool, legs swinging  as they left the floor. he sat his drink down on a napkin a bright smile on his lips to reunite with his friend.

“i know, i know. my life got...hectic isn’t even the term. but i am out of school for the summer so the bar life gets to see me again. that means you’re stuck with me for the next two months.” the elf leaned to nudging the elder slightly. “what about you? you’re just as brooding and moody sitting here as i remember, guess not that much has changed hmm?” blue added completing his teasing. he brought the frosted glass up to his lips, delicately coating them around the straw as he delve into the fruity concoction. far more tolerable than what dabin had in his glass he was sure of it.

blue brought a foot up onto the stool so they could sit comfortably without the annoying dangling of his legs. his height seemed to be a detriment in many of his usual bar settings but he chalked it up to his species, not much to dwell on but it sure did harbor some sort of irrational inconvenience. 

he could remember when he and dabin first spoke, only kind of. it was a blurry night for blue if he was honest and he’d indulged in far more than just a few drinks while they both volleyed between their shared disdain for the happenings in their lives. he remembered leaving feeling, refreshed, like he’d rolled at the very least a few of the boulders he was carrying. even more so he was happy he was able to shed some of those layers to someone who wasn’t interested in taking him home.