Poetry is Heart on Paper

He thought about all the times she had waited in the wings for him

All times she had said “I didn’t have any plans anyway”

How she would just drop everything to rush to his side

Giving up herself to be his

Bending over backwards to make his life easier

  He thought about how selfish he had been

How cold and uncaring

How he had never noticed how she was always there

That he had just taken her for granted

Assuming she would always be there

  Now she was going away

Putting herself first for the first time in years

He could just stare blankly

Wondering why he had never noticed how much he needed her

How much he really cared for her

  He knew that he couldn’t take up any more of her life

That he could live a thousand life times and never deserve her devotion

So when the time came to say goodbye and let her go

He smiled and waved acting like it wasn’t ripping out his heart

The sky grows lighter

The birds begin to sing

A new day is dawning

I wonder if you slept well

I haven’t slept a wink

I just sit here watching the sky go from black to pink

The birds have been singing since three

I wonder if they wake you up

If they make you toss the pillow over your head and grumble

I wonder if they are the same birds

The night seems so long when I sit here alone

No one speaks and the only thing moving is the darkness

I wish I could share it with you

But you are so far away

Once upon a time

There was prince

He was charming and handsome

He loved a princess

She was beautiful and wise

But she loved someone else

He would slay dragons for her

He would change the way the world turned for her

But all she would bestow on him was a kind smile

He wanted more

He wanted so much more

He wanted her love and affection and her heart

But when he saw them together

Saw the way the princess face lit up with love when she walked into the room

The way there was always pure love written in her eyes as her lady stepped closer

He let it go

He walked away

He knew that he would do anything for her

He also knew that though she loved him as a brother

That was not the place for him

I fight her

I fight her as she screams and howls

I fight her as she claws her way to the surface

I keep her on a tight leash

Chained to the back of my mind

She is always biting at the bit

Always thinking how easy it would be

I haven’t let her out for years

I know

I know what the beast within me is capable of

 I know that I would watch her destroy

There is a pain

That goes without saying

That is in everyone

That we ignore

There is very little that I can say

That will address the situation

That will stop the pain

But I know there is one thing we can do

If we just understood that

Everyone longs to be accepted

No one asks to be alone

We all want some form of human contact

We all want to be loved

We try to turn it off

To pretend that we are better off without

But all that does it cuts us off

All that does is make us sad

And we need more lovers

And less fighters

We need more people that cry

Than people who kill

If we just open our hearts and minds

That pain would be erased from us

And we could live without fear

Maybe if

Maybe if I just cried

Maybe if I just bowed down to the inevitable

And gave up

Maybe then then the words would flow

Maybe then I would feel the heartbeat of the world that I feel so left out of

Maybe then I would feel less like a throbbing nerve

And more like a human

Maybe if I just quit trying so hard

This boredom that has drifted over me

That is slowly clogging my arties filling my head with why not

That has made me not care

Would disappear

Twelve new coffee shops

Three different cities

Twenty different drinks

Over a hundred new songs

Two new boyfriends

One new ex-girlfriend I should have left in the past

Five new dance studios

One new fish

One set of new furniture

Five new apartments

Two years

There is a razor in my bag

I have never used

I hold it for a girl whose secrets I keep

I am an open book

Ask me a question and I will tell you no lies

The only part of me that is secret is the truth I hold for others

Sometimes I wish that I was not their confidant

That I was not the one they ran to when the world crumbles down

That I could just live with my head buried in the sand

Pretend that life was sunshine and daisies

But I would not trade their trust for the world

I would never give back their secrets for my life

Because I love them

I would never wish to be the last to know

When it is too late to do anything but cry

I know that even though I can do nothing

The fact that I love is must enough

To keep them on and keep them well

In a world that needs their smile and needs their laugh

There is a razor in my bag

So you want to be happy

You want to erase the pain and embrace oblivion

You think that will make you better

You think that that will make you whole

You think that that will make it easier

To life and make friends

When really happiness is not the way

The way is acceptance

Acceptance of your flaws and shortcomings

You may never be happy 

But you will make friends

And they will make you happy

Because they will accept you 

Today I am a true adult

Her crew and captain are true

The warm wind blows in softly

Seven syllables for the next

Hermits never have to deal

They never have to cope

For when you only have yourself

There is no one else to blame

  A hermit’s life is lonely

But you ne’er hear them complain

For when the hermit does come out

There is no one else but them

  A hermit is a funny man

Who never had a friend

But if you see them know that they

Are friend to all of men

  A hermit is a silly bloke

But do not point and laugh

For he is the one who sees you cry

When all your friends leave your side

  Now as you can see there is one thing he lacks

And if you follow my advice

Be nice to this lonely soul

For he is kind and loyal