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if i were a shrimp id be so embarrassed because everyone can see my poop line

Cannot stress enough how much you need to get on this stir fry shit. Newly living alone and don't know how to cook? Stir fry. Saturday morning after a rough night and need to whip up something tasty and hearty in a hurry? Stir fry. Approaching your thirties and deciding you need to eat healthier, balanced meals? Stir fry. Pick yourself out a protein, a starch, and like three veggies. More if you want. Then, simply stir and fry

Then they spit roast me

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

they should add a drop of glowing purple fluid to doctor pepper. just one drop

im not asking for much here

next unannounced tumblr ui update should swap date format to eternal september just to keep things fresh

your entire adventuring party all gets transformed into girls from like an evil spell or trap or whatever. the method isn't important. what is is everyones boobs are bigger than yours

steam big picture mode was designed to be clicked on by accident two or three times per year