Unreality.

She doesn't know how much I enjoyed his company or all the plans I wanted to make She doesn't know how hard I tried to make him happy when all he wanted was her She doesn't know all the times I waited for him while he was busy with someone else She doesn't know that I was his consolation prize after she had gone home She doesn't know that while she was falling for him, so was I. She doesn't know about me.

I don't date. I don't date because I'm afraid of wasting my time and getting my heart broken. I'm afraid that I will out myself out there for a guy who is just putting out for everyone who shows interest. I'm afraid of opening up to someone who won't really listen. I'm afraid of showing the real me to someone who will run away. I don't date because I don't know how. I'm a relationship girl, and I haven't really dated before. I don't like dating. I don't like the uncertainty. I don't like knowing that he's probably dating multiple people while I've just chosen the one. I've made good decisions and bad decisions. I've gotten attached to someone who probably doesn't care about me even a quarter of the amount I care about him, but that's okay. I enjoy spending time with him. I enjoy learning about him and the things he is passionate about. He's made it clear that it'll be this and nothing more, but I think I'm okay with that... I'm enjoying the time that I have. I don't mean to him what he means to me, and that's fine. I can't expect him to. The only thing that really hurts is that maybe he feels this way for someone else.. or maybe he's looking for someone else he can feel this way for and is just keeping me around to pass the time. That's life, though. I made my decision to be here, and it's my own stubbornness that is keeping me around. I don't date. I don't date because I can only handle one person at a time. I don't date because I get attached. I don't date because I'm scared.