never good enough

I will always be your second choice The one you crawl to when no one’s left You only want me when you need me And you only need me when i’m not around My arms become shovels as i reach for you I keep digging myself into this hole and Blaming you when I can never get out My mother taught me not to build homes Out of people but you left a key under The mat and I thought that meant that I Was welcome but it was only you letting me Know you’re too busy to open the door

When I’m hurt, I shut down. I turn into a total sarcastic bitch. I shut off my emotions, and act indifferent towards everything even though it might be killing me inside.

You didn’t even have to say you lost feelings, I fucking felt it

You’re not in love with me, not really, you just love the way I always made you feel. Like you were the center of my world. Because you were. I would have done anything for you.

I don’t know what more you could possibly want from me. I gave you everything and it still wasn’t good enough for you. You still chose her over me. And the one question I ask myself every day is ‘why was I not good enough for you’ because darling I don’t know what I could change for you to want me again.

Please, for my sake don’t fucking say ‘I love you’ if all you’re going to do is lie to me.

How do you look at someone you love more than life itself and know its time to say goodbye and let them go?

and I wanted to love him in every way possible, but he wouldn’t let me.

“I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him because it meant finally breathing after holding my breath a minute too long. Because it meant coming back to life with energy bursting through my veins the moment he touches my skin. Because it meant waking up from an endless dream. Because the feeling of his lips pressed against mine could change my world and make everything brighter, louder, faster and alive.”