Vampire obsessed fanfic writer

The night went on and you lost your memory half way through your little fucked up "cuddle session," as he called it. The morning sun arose and you found yourself in bed with the monster that took you from the pond side while trying to explode ducks with baking soda and vinegar. You were nude, he... well, he's always nude. 'What the fuck even happened...' you thought, lying there while checking your body, feeling the multiple bites the dickhead left on you.

You awoke and sat up, your left eye crusted shut, you wipe your eyes and blink rapidly, looking around the room you now resided in. It wasn't the foyer, but a bedroom, the walls dark and grey, adorned with swords and paintings. You took note of the bed you lay on, the duvet of velvet and the king sized bed. A knock was then heard at the door, making you jump with a start. It opened and a tall, older looking gentleman stood there, his grey eyes bore into you a moment before words came from his mouth, "My deepest apologies, m'lady. I found you in the foyer last night after returning home. Poor thing, you were soaked and shivering in your sleep, I hope you won't mind I carried you here to warm you up. Nothing more, nothing less." You stared at him for a long time, blinking twice before looking at your clothes, still damp and you still felt cold. "Is there a shower or a water closet I can use, kind sir?" You meekly spoke, the man straightening out and nodding, "You may call me Sir Wikstrom, guardian of my home, this castle. I do have amenities you may use, and I can provide you with warm clothing and towels." You giggled at his formalities, "Well, Sir Wikstrom, may I be shown them?"