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sephria x fem!reader

contains: fluff, avoidance, kissing, one-sided love

masterlist 1 , materlist 2 (wlw), taglist

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Sephira - the most beautiful girl you had ever seen in your life.

She made your stomach coil, her long brown hair, her pretty hazel brown eyes, the most perfect smile, and cute button nose. 

Things clicked right away, you met through your modeling.  

She broke through your shy front right away - things with her were easy, fitting even. 

You felt as though you belonged with her, you fell in love platonically at first, then it wasn't platonic.  

You noticed your romantic love for her one night while you two were sitting on the balcony of your new york city apartment, the way the city lights hit her just right, the way her presence silenced all the noise from the streets, the way her smile sparkled. 

You pushed it away, this wasn't worth losing your friendship. She meant everything to you, enough to completely push your feelings aside. 

It was okay pushing it aside until it wasn't - sephira found someone. 

She met a guy one night at the bar, they started hanging out a lot, then made things official. 

Public to the internet, family, friends, you.

It made your stomach turn, your heart tight, your chest stuck. Opening your social media to see a picture of them happy together.

You shouldn't feel this way, she's one of your best friends. You should be happy for her. She deserves this. 

But you couldn't avoid it, you couldn't avoid thinking. Maybe if you just admitted your feelings you would be the one in those pictures, how much better you could treat her, how much more you know and understand her. 

You were mad at yourself, mad at the world. The sick feeling in your stomach grew as they became closer, outings would now involve him, hangouts would be spent talking about him. There was nothing you could do anymore to avoid the way you feel. The thoughts took over your mind completely, in an unhealthy way. 

Every bone in your body ached, there was nothing you could do but push yourself away. What else were you supposed to do? Risk ruining your friendship? Homewreck a happy relationship? 

Hangouts became more quiet, you just lingered. You started saying that you were busy, it made you feel sick. You were so in love with her, the spark in your eyes left. 

The media noticed too - almost everyday there would be a picture of you and sephira, now there isn't. 

Maybe once a week, but it's never on your page - always hers. 

You lay in bed, endlessly scrolling on your phone after a long day.  

A notification comes up on your phone - sephira.

Sephira: y/n

Sephira: me and atticus got in a fight

Sephira: a pretty bad one

Sephira: i’m freaked out

A lump in your throat builds. The thoughts in your head build as well. You  block them out, this isn't about you - it's about sephira.

You take a shallow deep breath.

You: what happened?

You: do you need anything?

Sephira: I had to model with a guy today, he's convinced I like him.

Sephira: Can I come over? I cant be here rn and idk where he went

You: yes of course

You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling waiting for her to come over.  You numb your feelings about her, like always. 

You need to be here for her right now, it doesn't matter what you think. They've been together for a while now, your chance was missed.

You check her location to see she's on pulling up, you walk over to your front door. 

Leaning against the doorframe as she walks up.

“Hey” you say softly, going in for a hug.

Her body is warm, breath is just slightly frantic, your chin rests on top of her head. 

“Come on, let's go.” you say, leading her down the hallway into your bedroom.

You sit on the bed, tears falling down her face leaving a tearstain on her outer corner. 

You hand her the glass of water that sat on your bedside table. She sips on it, slowly regaining a steady breath pattern. 

She talks for a while about what happened. Saying he got madder than she's ever seen him, and she couldn't calm him. No matter how much reassurance she gave he was still convinced she wanted this guy. 

She eventually got tired, after ranting mindlessly. She ended up falling asleep in your arms, legs intertwined, arm around your stomach. 

Waking up the next morning was groggy - sephira sits up, ending the contact that didn't break at all last night. 

The strap of her tank top falling down her smooth arm.

The first thing she does is check her phone, receiving a long message from atticus. 

She reads it aloud, complete bullshit. 

It's the classic boyfriend apology. “Im sorry” “i didnt mean to lash out” “i just love you so much”

Every man says shit like this, though she was too blinded and hopelessly in love to notice. Which wasn't her fault, it was normal and you forced yourself to understand that. 

“I'm gonna go.” she says. Voice still rasped from the slumber.  

“Are you sure?” you ask, with a concerned yet semi judgey look on your face. 

“Mhm” she hums, slowly getting up. 

You walk her to the door, watching as she slips away once again. 

You flop on the couch, palms to your face. 

Envy and anger filled in your veins, he had her wrapped around his finger and she didn't even notice. All you wanted to do was kiss her pink - pillow soft lips, and remove her from the hellish relationship she was in. 

But you couldn't. 

A little more than an hour later you receive a facetime call from sephira. Without a second thought you pick it up. 

“Hey y/n, thank you so much for last night. I really needed someone to talk to.” 

“Yeah of course, how are things?” you reply. 

“So good, we talked for a while and then had makeup sex.” she giggles. 

A look forms on your face without even knowing, you had no idea what to say. 

“What. What's wrong?” she asks. 

“Nothing” you reply, unamused. 

“Theres a look on your face, what is it?” 

You snap out of it, bringing your face back to normal. 

“Nothing i just think he should’ve actually made it up to you rather than just had sex.”

“What does that mean?” she asks, slightly offended. 

“I don't know, I just think he should've done more than just sex after being aggressive with you. You deserve better ya’know.” 

“We made up, why does it matter? And why do you hate him so much?” 

“I don't hate him, he was a piece of shit last night. I'm looking out for you, Sephira.”

“Yeah you do, every time he's mentioned you go quiet, and you completely stopped hanging out with me. Why can't you just be happy for me?” 

The lump in your throat appears again, your chest tightens. 

“You wouldn't understand.” you answer.

“Clealry not.” she says, hanging up the phone.

You let out a deep sigh, staring at the food in front of you with no appetite anymore.

You crash into the couch right away, no thoughts, just staring at the ceiling. 

Memories flood your head of every moment you spent with her, she opened up your heart, brought light to the smallest things. 

You really had to do this, stop it for good. You wanted her to be happy, even if that's not with you.

You stare at pictures, this was it - no more reaching out, no more hang outs. You had to do what was best for her, keeping yourself there would do nothing but blow her life up. 

You sit outside the fire escape smoking a cigarette. The cold nyc air hitting your feet, the warm smoke filling out lungs. 

A black car pulls up, a girl with long brown hair gets out. 

You don't pay any attention to it, probably just one of the girls who lives here.

“y/n!” a girl shouts.

“Sephira?” you reply. 

She runs into the building, you put the cigarette out, trailing to the door. 

You guys make it there at the same time, opening the door to reveal the two of you standing face to face. 

She lingers for a minute before crashing into your lips. 

The once forbidden place is now unlocked. 

You begin walking backwards, into the bedroom. 

The two of you fall onto the bed, her body on top of yours - legs intertwined. 

She lifts you up, removing your top. 

“What about Atticus?" you ask, breathless and shocked. 

“I left him, I should've realized. I'm so sorry y/n.” she chuckles. 

You chuckle back, removing every piece of clothing. 

The floor covered in clothing shows the exact thing you thought would never happen - happening.

aww sleeping ceeee. okay i be awake doing hw -_-

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You did everything for Nate. Everything. All you wanted was to make him happy—to be enough for him. He was your whole world, the only person who ever made you feel like you belonged somewhere. So you gave him everything you had, hoping that maybe, one day, he’d look at you the same way.

You rearranged your life for him. Dropped things that mattered to you, picked up responsibilities he didn’t want, showed up every single time he needed something—because you thought that’s what love was. Proving yourself. Earning a place in someone’s heart.

And you loved him. God, you loved him.

He felt like something you had been missing your entire life, like everything finally made sense when he was around. Maybe it was a little pathetic, the way you clung to him—but you didn’t care. To you, he was everything good. You admired the way he carried himself, the way he could make people laugh without trying, the way he seemed so sure of who he was.

But other people saw what you didn’t.

They saw how he ignored you. How he only came around when it was convenient. How he took and took and never gave anything back. They saw the way you shrank yourself just to fit into his life.

And still—you stayed.

You told yourself he just didn’t know how to show love. That he’d come around eventually. That if you just held on a little longer, he’d realize how much you meant to him.

But then there were other girls.

At first, you tried not to think about it. You told yourself they didn’t mean anything. But you couldn’t ignore the way his entire expression changed around them—the way his eyes lit up, the way his voice softened, the way he looked at them like they actually mattered.

He never looked at you like that.

Not once.

Even in your most intimate moments, there was always something missing—something distant in his eyes, like he wasn’t really there with you. And deep down, you started to understand something you had been avoiding for way too long:

he didn’t love you.

“Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder why I’m never enough. Why everyone I care about ends up hurting me. Why I’m always the one who loves more.”

That realization sat heavy in your chest as you waited for him, sitting on the edge of his bed. Your hands wouldn’t stop shaking. You couldn’t even remember the last time you fell asleep without crying over him.

You were exhausted.

Exhausted from trying. Exhausted from hoping. Exhausted from loving someone who didn’t love you back.

When he finally walked in, he barely spared you a glance.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, like your presence didn’t mean anything. Your chest tightened, but you forced yourself to speak. “Do you even care about me?”

He frowned slightly, like the question didn’t make sense. “Why do you treat me like I don’t matter?” your voice cracked despite your effort to stay steady. “Like I’m just someone you can use whenever you feel like it?”

He let out a quiet laugh, and it felt like something inside you broke. “Why are you laughing?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “You never complained before,” he said with a shrug. “That’s not on me.”

The words hit harder than anything else.

“I did all of that because I love you!” you snapped, tears spilling over before you could stop them.

He laughed again.

“Y/n… I would never love someone like you,” he said flatly, not even bothering to look at you. “You’re just… there.”

For a moment, everything went still.

It was like your heart forgot how to beat.

And somehow, even after that—after everything—you still whispered, “I love you anyway.”

Because it was the truth. No matter how much he hurt you, no matter how badly he made you feel about yourself… you still loved him.

“I don’t care.”

Those three words were enough to shatter whatever you had left. You swallowed hard, nodding slowly even though your vision blurred with tears.

“That’s okay,” you said quietly.

But it wasn’t okay.

Not even close.

Still, you turned away. You walked out without looking back, even though every step felt like it was tearing you apart.

And as much as it hurt, as much as you still loved him, you finally understood something you should have realized a long time ago: love isn’t supposed to make you feel this worthless. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @hollisedd @kingoveverything @qiyokuliife @2bun22 @myliifeisamess @killcel