(•ᵥᵥ•)

     " ‘don’t worry’? are you kidding? clary — c’mon, how long have you known me? all i freaking  do  is worry. like, uh, remember in the third grade, when i wanted to drop out of hebrew school because arnie friedman kept ragging on me? and i didn’t wanna tell my mom or the rabbi ‘cause snitches end up in ditches? you remember what you said to me? you said, ‘don’t worry.’ you said he was just a stupid, jealous bully, and he was eventually gonna get bored and move on, and then the next time i went, he tied my shoelaces together so i tripped and broke my glasses and  everybody  laughed? you remember that? ”

     “ simon, ”  she’s admonishing, but gently,  “ that is  so  not — ”

     “ — not the same thing? yeah, no, you’re totally right. it’s not. ‘cause this is way more important. i could replace my glasses. i can’t replace my best friend. so i’m not gonna stop worrying, not until i know you’re okay. maybe not even then. suck it up, fray — i’m your number one worrier, for life. get used to it. ”

     “  you’re pretty good at  leeching  all of mine.  ”   he pulls him in by the shirt to kiss him with a smile,   “  ––  ironic,  all things considered.  ”

     “  i’m sure we’ll find a way to keep things hot.  jacuzzi tub,  remember?  ”

     “  ––  balcony’s kinda small,  though.  definitely could have swung for the penthouse suite.  think we’ll have enough room out there?  ”

     “  it’s nice––a lot cleaner than i expected.  that’s a plus.  ”   @vampanik​

     “  what?  no,  you’re not saying or  doing  anything at all.  just let me do the talking and follow my lead.  this isn’t a joke,  simon.  the seelie realm is a very dangerous place,  and there’s always a chance that one or both of us won’t make it out alive.  or with all our limbs.  they’ll take my stele and all of my weapons the second we enter the queen’s court,  so keep that in mind.  ”

     jace kisses him then,  partly to shut him up but mostly because he doesn’t know how  else  to say that this is something he  does  want to do,  so he shows him instead with hopes that it’ll be enough.  that his point comes across without diversion.   “  i know.  one parent,  one sister,  and one bubbie helen from poland.  ”   one arm moves to drape over his abdomen,  the other resting behind his head.  his gaze only drops once,  to watch simon’s hands fidget with his shirt,  a light pull at his hemline with no real motive;  he uses that time to think before he says anything.  what he wants to believe and what his father had conditioned him to believe were like two separate entities,  one always trying to overshadow the other.   “  …  yeah.  i guess.  but the mundane world and our world are––different.  we don’t have family dinners or go on  dates.  half of the shadowhunters you see in  relationships  met their other half on mission,  and the rest do it for honor.  we were always taught that our  duty  comes first  ––  and the time in between for anything else isn’t a necessity,  or a requirement.  it’s a privilege that we have to earn.  ”

     so he  does  pay attention. that, and the sudden warmth of the kiss, is enough to keep simon from interrupting again. there’s a whole reel of emotion trying to play itself out behind jace’s silence, the slight dip of his frown, the quiet fullness of his mouth that always looks like a pout even when he’s not pouting. the more he says, the more it all makes sense; not just why shadowhunters as a whole are the way they are, but why  he  is. it’s sad: that’s the first word simon thinks of. it makes his chest hurt, heartbeat or no heartbeat.

     “  dinner?  what dinner?  ”   hanukkah.  december sixth.   “  ––  right,  no,  yeah.  i told you i’d be there,  so i’ll be there,  ”   and he’ll worry about which suit to wear and whether he should  bring  anything apart from his dazzling charm later;  right now,  his focus is on the strain,  the friction,  and the fact this conversation isn’t even close to being over.   “  clary’s  date  is british and saw us  making out  like you were about to bend me over the bar,  so,  i’d say that was a safe assumption for him to make.  there’s nothing  going on,  simon,  this is just …  it’s new,  alright?  i don’t know how to  date  someone and i’ve never––done  this.  met someone’s parents,  or went to restaurants to actually  eat  there.  i’ve never been  that  guy.   ”

     “  chuck wepner,  ”   he corrects,  bouncing up on the balls of his feet to keep the adrenaline flooding hot,   “  rocky balboa isn’t  real,  and wepner wasn’t mundane,  ”   there’s a fiery glint in his eyes,  a curl at the corners of his mouth that doesn’t drop even as his back hits the floor;  if anything,  it only broadens.  he might have been impressed if not for having already anticipating the counterattack,  surrendering to it as though simon finally had the upper-hand.   “  which i guess,  now,  ”   he leverages his weight,  pushing forward to jump upright and make for his center gravity.  they both hit the floor,  and from there it’s a power play that ends with jace on his back,  legs hooked behind the bends of simon’s knees and one forearm braced at his throat.   “  ––  means you really  do  have the advantage.  but hey,  pro-tip?  ”   using that lock he has behind his thighs,  he flips them over so that  he’s  on top,  keeping simon pinned beneath his arm.   “  if you’re not  winning,  you’re not trying  hard enough.  ”

     “  s––seriously,  this is what you want to talk about?  right now?  i didn’t think  you’d  be the first to complain about getting laid this much.  can you just––  ”   trying to wriggle his wrists free doesn’t work,  and rutting forward doesn’t  help  much of anything.   “  who’s ‘everybody else’?  alec?  ”

     “  hurt … ?  what makes you think you can’t feed without hurting someone?  ”   her gaze shifts from simon to the bartender,  whom she offers the sweetest smile.  far less imposing than her  brothers  have been in the past.  one of them had to get their good looks and charm from their father;  she’ll proudly stake that claim.   “  mm …  i’m pretty sure the worst vampire  ever  is the one whose fangs were taken for trophies before it was outlawed by the accords,  and you’re not that guy.  trust me,  i’ve met him.  it’s sad.  ”

     “  wh––why did you stop?  what are you doing?  ”   /  @vampanik

     “  join the club.  relationships are  not  for the faint of heart,  providing you still have one  ––  but i guess if this  lucky guy  is anything like you and i,  you’ll have an eternity together to figure it out.  à votre santé.  ”   testing the waters is about as much as she can do without giving herself away entirely.   “  ––  oh?  you know,  i could never get behind  vegetarianism.  willfully depriving your body of what it needs is  masochism  if i’ve ever heard of it.  but,  to each their own.  in  that  case,  i’ll have whatever you’re having.  makes it easier on both of us,  don’t you think?  ”