shuurfak

what if you were a guy and your older boon companion (who you hero-worshipped and who had led your people to a hundred cool victories) went off on a very important quest to hang out with beautiful people in a foreign land and left you behind. and you were objectively very good at your job but also your dad felt, not unfairly, that you had not led your people to a hundred cool victories, and also that you sort of had nerd vibes. and you were like hey guys not sure if my dad loves me. and then your older boon companion (who you hero-worshipped) got shot with arrows 1 million times in a row. and you went home and said hey dad do you love me? and your dad said "do you want to meet my small, hilarious child" and you said dad, why do you have a small, hilarious child and your dad said "because he swore fealty and service to me" and you said okay dad. well anyway, out of curiosity, about the "do you love me" question, and he said "i love... the idea of claiming and wielding something of such immense power and might that everyone who comes near it has been destroyed" and you said okay. well what do you want me to do about that dad and he said "i want you to prove your quality" and you said how, dad and he said "by fighting insane battles forever" and you said will you love me then dad and he said "i will certainly love you. i will not put you on a big pile of sticks and light you on fire." and you said thanks dad. i believe you. this happened to my buddies george russell and faramir captain of gondor

we could give george a gun but he'd sooner shoot himself than anyone from mercedes and that's really the whole problem

haven't been the same since someone pointed out that george's t-pose is the exact silhouette of jesus crucified