what each “C.A.L.M” song reminds me of
red desert: the smell of a campfire, driving at sunset with nothing but road rolled out in front of you, scratchy summer bug bites, the warmth of someone’s bare shoulder pressing gently against your own skin
no shame: a fuzzy gray and blue sunrise, digging your keys into the palm of your hand, a scorching throat from a night of screaming, sticky sweat on your neck and chest
old me: rubbing the corner of a glossy old photograph between your fingers, smudged makeup from the night before, listening to someone recount a story that you can’t remember, sneezing from dust caught in your nose
easier: anger buzzing behind your lips, their pelvis pressing and pushing against your own eager hips, the deafening blood rush of standing up too fast, wrists bound by trustworthy hands
teeth: a bloodied nose, shivering awake after accidentally wrestling the blankets off your bed, a rib-pounding heartbeat, nervously scratching your skin red
wildflower: sugary sweetness melting on your tongue, accidental hickeys, overgrown prairie grass practically begging to be frolicked through, recognizing the taste of someone’s breath in your mouth
best years: a pinky promise, falling asleep in the living room then waking up safely in your own bed, the fading flicker of a dying cigarette, the misleading softness of cloth carved intricately into stone
not in the same way: cold bathroom tiles against your knees, dry swallowing a pill, hands moist and nervous and always unsure, holding the flesh of an orange slice between your teeth until the juice runs dry
lover of mine: a pair of rose petal lips, picking up the mannerisms of someone you love, cold ceramic against your teeth from a coffee cup left in the fridge, the iridescent scales on a butterfly’s wings
thin white lies: getting the wind knocked out of you, smeared and sullied handwriting, tired eyes refusing to close, letting the breeze whip and tangle your hair
lonely heart: weighted breathing in a dark room, a purpling bruise, begging to hold someone’s hand, the sensation of being completely unknowable
high: full moon aglow over tepid ocean waves, liminal space, an underwater ascent to the surface, growing and changing like a flower garden reaching up toward the sun
