Vale Starr

(Prone to changes) * * *

Stepping out into the night air, River made sure to lock the door securely behind him, testing it just to make sure. Finding it firmly locked, he tucked the keys into his pocket and pulled his hood down further over his face as he headed in the direction of home. As he walked, his thoughts drifted back to the two men he’d met – both connected to the Freak Circus.

Both his kind. Both dangerous.

River had rarely come across others like himself, especially in the last few years. So seeing two in one day was a little unnerving – even if he found one of them attractive. River ran his tongue over his sharp teeth as he walked, thinking about that Pierrot.

He was certainly something, River admitted to himself. He found himself wondering what the man looked like under that mask.

Finally unlocking the door to his apartment, River slipped into the small but tidy apartment he’d called home for almost 5 years now. It wasn’t much, but it was all he needed.

 Dumping his bag on the floor he made sure the door and curtains were all secure before he crossed to the bedroom. 

First he pulled out the black ticket, carefully setting it down on a side table. Only then did he strip off his work clothes and toss them to the floor of his room, uncaring. He stepped into the bathroom and switched on the shower. As he waited for it to heat up, he stood in front of the mirror and removed the black facemask that hid the lower half of his face.

At first glance, River’s face looked normal until the yawn that parted his lips revealed the sharp teeth beyond. He could make them look normal but it drained his energy – it was easier to cover up with a facemask and tell people he was a germaphobe.

Rubbing a hand over the horns that now erupted from just above and behind his ears, he yawned again.

“I got back earlier, but I still feel just as tired as on a normal day,” he grumbled to himself. “At least my shift starts later tomorrow. I’ll take a quick shower and crash in bed.”

While he waited for the shower to heat up, he stripped off the last of his clothing and leaned into the mirror, studying his reflection.

By human and monster standards, River was considered to be rather good looking and he’d used this to his advantage on multiple occasions to get what he wanted – that and his rather special ability.

Stepping into the heat of the shower, he scrubbed the smell of coffee from his body with rigor. He may enjoy the smell of coffee, but that didn’t mean he liked reeking of it. Getting out he carefully wrapped a towel around his head and returned to the bedroom with another towel wrapped around his waist.

Switching on the TV, he dried himself as he watched some mind-numbing game show, not really paying attention, his eyes drifting instead to the black ticket sitting innocently on the small table.

‘I was unsure about the circus,’ he thought to himself. ‘But it might be fun. They have this kind of gothic and eccentric style, and the ticket was a gift after all. I hope it’s okay I agreed to go.’

After getting dressed, River flopped onto the bed, staring at the television without real interest, figuring he'd watch it until he fell asleep. Given how tired he was, it didn’t take long, the effort required to keep up his normal appearance and work having drained him. The last thought on his mind as he fell asleep that night was his encounter with Pierrot.

* * *

He couldn’t get too close.

He needed to keep his distance, despite the fact River had fallen asleep. Even with the TV on he would surely sense Pierrot’s approach. River’s particular species had razor-sharp senses, and another of their kind approaching would wake him up. They were also very territorial over their homes and the area around them. Pierrot knew this, he’d met this kind before.

But none of the ones he’d met were like River Surfeit. Yes, that was the name he used to pass in the human world. The label as much a mask against the world as the ones Pierrot and his family wore upon their faces.

Watching River, seeing him –studying him– had been difficult without tipping him off. The other man’s nature was that of a natural hunter, one who could quickly become aware he was being stalked… like prey. Although that wasn’t Pierrot’s intention, it would be how River’s inner nature would see it – and he’d react in a way Pierrot could not allow. 

He was a little surprised that River had not detected him already, perhaps he was simply tired? Or maybe he knew Pierrot was there and didn’t mind?

Pierrot had observed every step, studied every routine and learned all River’s preferences. He knew the way River’s brow furrowed in confusion or deep thought. He knew how River avoided the touch of people around him and that he didn’t like being flirted with. Pierrot had also learned River hated being cold and loved baths.

And all of it was adorable.

Perhaps River would not like that label, he thought as he stared at the curtained balcony door, the light of the television not visible due to the thickness of the curtains. The sound of River’s deep breathing told Pierrot he was fast asleep, though he still didn’t risk getting closer.

Pierrot had met many people over his life – some good, some bad and some… evil. But never had any of them captured his attention like River had. The moment that River had stepped forward to yell at the aggressive human, Pierrot had felt something ignite within him and now he couldn’t go back, he wouldn’t let go. He had to have River.

Finally stepping out of the cold and into the heated air of the cafe was a welcome relief. The smell of chocolate, pastries and especially roasting coffee beans was a scent River had always enjoyed, despite the fact coffee was not his preferred source of energy. His boss, Nathaniel was already behind the counter finishing up some orders and looking unusually strained.

“You got here just in time,” the large man said, looking up as River pulled off his coat, storing it in one of the lockers just around the corner. “It’s busier than usual with the cold. Start as soon as you can, Carol's running late and I’ve been covering for her. The orders are already on the counter, please take them to the tables.”

Tying his apron on, River frowned, “you covered her whole shift? Is she okay?”

“I couldn't reach her," Nathaniel replied, concern evident in his voice. “Maybe she’s not feeling well.”

“Got it, I’ll get started,” River assured him.

“Sure thanks.”

Adjusting his gloves, River picked up the orders, wondering where Carol was and slightly annoyed that she hadn’t shown up, or even called. Heading over to the nearest table, at which two people were seated he set down their orders.

“Good afternoon!” his well practiced customer service persona firmly in place. “Here’s your espresso and Macchiato. Can I get you anything else?”

“Thanks,” one of the customers said, sipping the hot drink with obvious relief. “I was dying for some coffee.”

“Did you see those flyers for the circus?” the second customer asked as they picked up the espresso.

“Yeah, weird, right?” their friend shook their head. “It’s been ages since a travelling circus came to town.”

“And the clowns are so creepy,” the second customer muttered into their cup. 

The first one shrugged indifferently, returning to their drink. “Probably good for their marketing though,” they seemed to realize River was still waiting for an answer. 

“Oh, sorry! Yeah, we’re all set. We don’t need anything else right now.”

“No problem!” River’s bright smile was false, as practiced as his polite demeanor. “Just call me if you need anything.”

Arranging the trays neatly, he moved to the next customer, setting a hot chocolate on the table, “here you go, your hot chocolate.”

“Thanks, I’ve really been craving something warm with this chilly weather,” the woman at the table said with a smile.

“It got cold all of a sudden, didn’t it?” River agreed, adjusting the final tray, which had the most items on it.

“Yeah,” the woman agreed, frowning slightly. “The weather’s all over the place. You leave the house with a jacket and umbrella and you still end up sweating by the end of the day.”

She gave a soft laugh as she picked up the drink, her eyes flicking over River with interest as he responded.

“For real, if you need anything else, just let me know, okay?”

“Perfect!” she chirped, her eyes offering an invitation he had no interest in. He moved away, feeling a stare on his back that wasn’t from the woman. He ignored it, focusing on the drinks he was still carrying. He always drew attention, and he was long used to it. 

Muttering to himself about the drinks being hot, he moved to the last table at which a man and a woman were seated.

“A coffee with cheese bread, and a cappuccino with a brownie, right?” He set the final order down in front of the last two customers.

“That’s right, thanks!” one replied cheerfully.

“Hey barista, did you see the news?” the other asked.

“Hm?” River asked, not really interested, only asking out of polite necessity. “Not yet today, did something happen?”

“They’re still talking about the one who disappeared,” the woman’s eyes glinted with an almost morbid delight as she shared the news.

“Oh,” River said, frowning. Why did people take delight in such things? “Wasn’t that the one who ran off with a lover or something?”

“No one really knows for sure,” the other customer said, swallowing his bite of cheese bread. His companion looked up at River, something almost like concern in her eyes.

“I just wanted to say… be careful if you’re going home late, okay?” her voice was low. “This place closes quite late, so… stay alert, alright?”

River felt a trickle of amusement go through him at the warning – as if he had anything to worry about. However he just smiled at the customer and nodded, “will do. Thanks for the heads up! And enjoy your coffee!”

Stepping back towards the counter, something in the window caught the corner of his eye, but disappeared before he could turn his head. Figuring it was just someone walking past, he stepped around the counter and began to wipe down where the drinks had been sitting.

“It’s really sweet of them to care,” he muttered to himself sarcastically. Then he had a thought – missing people drew attention. He needed to be careful. “Maybe I should start keeping an eye on the news sometimes.”

River had just watched the last customer leave and cleared away their cups when his boss came back out, looking around the cafe. He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“I’m sick of ripping those flyers off my window,” he grumbled. “Don’t let anyone hand them out in here. And when you have a minute, go around and pick up the ones scattered around.”

“Got it,” River replied as he closed the dishwasher, letting it kick to life before he continued. “Hmm… some people are being kinda rude to the circus folks, don’t you think?”

“The way they act freaks people out,” Nathaniel replied, rubbing his chin. “Best to keep them away, bad for business.”

“Understood boss,” River’s words were perfectly even, belying the annoyance underneath. He watched his boss walk back to his office before heading around the cafe, picking up all the flyers for The Freak Circus.

“The customers just keep leaving these on the tables,” he scowled at the pile of papers in his hands, his grip crinkling them slightly. People were just making more work for him, who had to clean up. 

Just then the bell above the door jingled and the customary “welcome” slipped from his mouth automatically.

“Thanks!” came the response from the man who’d just entered. “I’d like a strong hot coffee.”

“I’ll bring it right away,” River replied, the hairs on the back of his neck rising as he recognized the other man for what he was. He could feel a gaze on his back as he poured the requested drink and brought it over. “Here’s your coffee.”

“Thanks,” the man’s smile didn’t quite meet his eyes as he studied River with the same intensity as the red clown from earlier. “What’s with those flyers?”

Blinking, River lifted his other hand, realizing he was still holding the stack of flyers he'd picked up from the tables. He had a feeling the man knew exactly what they were.

“Oh, someone was handing them out. I had to pick them all up.”

“How rude to do that in a place of business, right?” The question wasn’t quite sincere, and River looked him dead in the eye as he responded.

“Yeah, it just creates more work for everyone else.”

“If you want I can take them for you,” another false smile. “I’ll toss them out when I leave, no big deal. I was gathering some paper for recycling anyway.”

“Really?” River didn’t believe him for a second. “In that case, that’s better than just throwing them away, thanks.”

“No problems dear,” came the soft response as River set the flyers down on the table.

Do you need anyth–” he began, but was cut off.

“Do you like the circus?”

The unexpected question threw him for a second, making him frown before he composed himself enough to answer politely, aware his boss may be able to hear.

“Huh? Uh, I think I might be a little too old for that now.”

“Nonsense, the man smiled, his eyes flashing slightly. “This circus isn’t for kids, they’ve got some pretty creepy stuff.”

“So you’ve been to the circus?” River tilted his head slightly, feeling a familiar heat in his eyes that told him he needed to get himself under control. He didn’t usually like chatting with other people, not even his own kind. 

Unfortunately it was part of the job to be polite and socialize with customers as necessary, no matter how uncomfortable he was with it. 

“Are you even listening?” the man’s voice interrupted River’s thoughts.

“Sorry?” River flushed slightly as being caught daydreaming. The man chuckled, thankfully not offended..

“Thought so. Anyway I think you’d like the circus, you should visit sometime.”

“I’ll… give it some thought,” River said evasively, as he moved away. “Let me know if you need anything else!”

River continued with his other duties, constantly aware of the man’s gaze watching him. He ignored it however, people always stared at the weirdo with the facemask and strange blue eyes. It was night before his boss came back out to talk to him.

“As soon as the last customers leave, close everything up and clean the place,” he told River. “We’re closing early today.”

Looking up from putting away cups, River studied Nathaniel closely, seeing the man was clearly distracted by something. There was tension around his mouth and strain in his eyes.

“Did something happen?” he asked, setting the last cup into place.

“I have an unexpected appointment,” his boss informed him. “And since you’re working alone today, I’d rather you didn’t leave too late. I’ve gotta go now, can you take care of everything?”

“Yes!” River assured him. “No problem, leave it to me!”

“Call me if anything comes up,” Nathaniel said as he stepped out the door.

“Will do. See you!” He watched his boss leave, grateful for the shorter hours, but also wondering what happened to his coworker, Carol. It wasn’t like her to skip work. Just as he was pondering this, the man from earlier spoke up.

“Hey there, here’s the payment, I’m heading out. Have a good night!”

“Good night sir,” River replied, polite as ever, trying not to think too hard about how the man’s statement sounded more sinister than anything else. Looking around the cafe, River felt relieved that all he had to do was clean the tables and lock up for the night.

But just as he approached the final back tables, he heard the sound of a bell and turned, expecting to see a customer, “sorry, we’re…closed.”

Looking around the empty building, River frowned, tuning his hearing to better pick up any sound, but heard nothing. “Huh? But I heard the bell… Hello?”

Before he could move, the lights suddenly went out, plunging the room into darkness and setting his senses on high alert. The room appeared empty, and yet...

“Boss? Is that you?” he asked as he scanned the room, his eyes taking in everything. Of course there was no response, and River hadn’t expected one. He walked towards the breaker, figuring it had tripped again. As he walked, he realized that while he’d heard the bell, he hadn’t heard the door. 

Opening the panel and flipping the breaker back on with a sigh of irritation, he had just closed it when the door actually opened, letting in a rush of cold night air and jingling the bell. River turned, his senses still wary.

“Sorry, we’re closed! Ah!" he recognized the man who’d just walked in. “You’re the guy from earlier…”

The red clown from that afternoon was standing before him, smiling, clearly glad to see him again. He was also bleeding from the head, the bright red of it trickling from the hairline of his silver hair, providing a shocking contrast against the white of his mask.

“Oh my, you’re bleeding!” River stared at the injury, wondering who could have gotten so close to someone like him. “A-are you okay?”

The clown just tilted his head, his smile still in place, not saying a word. Without much thought, River sighed and gestured for him to sit down, reaching for a napkin. 

“Ugh, I hope I don’t regret this,” he muttered. “Sit at the counter, I’ll help you with that.”

The man sat down, allowing River to clean up the blood on his face, his golden eyes never leaving him as he moved. The smell of his blood both turned River’s stomach and made him hungry, reminding him he really needed to eat. 

He finished cleaning the blood off and stepped back, the clown following suit. And yet still, he remained silent. Curious, River decided to ask about it.

“You don’t talk… or is that part of the act?”

The man glanced around as if to make sure they were alone before stepping a bit closer.

“I can’t be seen talking.”

“Ah, so it’s part of the act!”

“Yes my lord,” he replied, still smiling. “I sincerely appreciate all your help. I’m the Pierrot, nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you, I’m River,” River replied, returning the smile. There was something about this Pierrot that he liked already. He’d have told himself it wasn’t the other man’s height, but that was a lie – River had always liked tall people.

“I know,” the Pierrot replied in a low voice, so low even River didn’t catch it at first.

“But, hm… A Pierrot? You don’t really look like one” River observed, taking in the red, gold and black of his costume. Then he realized what the Pierrot had said. “Wait, what?”

“Indeed you are right my lord!” the Pierrot quickly interrupted. “We were required to…modernize my attire. But my role, remains unchanged.”

Tossing the napkin away, River’s eyes scanned the Pierrot thoughtfully, “people have been pretty rough with you guys.”

The Pierrot tilted his head, “I suppose we may appear a touch… uncanny. That tends to unsettle people.”

“Do the Pierrots out on the street with the flyers perform too?” River asked curiously as he washed his hands in the small sink behind the counter. He knew what this Pierrot was, so he had no issues with him seeing the claws he kept hidden from the world with his gloves. The Pierrot probably had similar ones.

“Indeed,” the Pierrot nodded, seeming pleased with the question. “The circus has but a small cast, but we both perform and hand out flyers.”

His voice changed, becoming darker, his smile fading somewhat, “though I must say, I am the only Pierrot, my lord. The others are jesters and… harlequins…”

He rolled his eyes at the last part, cluing River into the fact he clearly didn’t get along with everyone. Drying his hands, he pulled his gloves back on, the Pierrot's eyes briefly fixed on his hands.

“That’s actually kinda cool! So are the others quiet like you too?”

“I am the only one who remains silent,” the Pierrot's bright smile returned. “Though I do make an exception when it’s just the two of us.”

Trying not to show how smug he was, River simply responded, “got it. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Thank you my lord,” the Pierrot replied happily. “And I’ve brought you another small token of my appreciation.”

He held out his gloved hand, in which sat a black ticket to the Freak Circus. River blinked at the unexpected gift. First the man from earlier and now this Pierrot. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the offer however and so, despite the suspicion gnawing at him, he picked it up.

“A ticket! Are you sure this won’t get you in trouble?”

“Not at all,” Pierrot assured him. “We have a few special ones to hand out. I would be most delighted if you came to watch me, my lord.”

“Hmm… alright, I’ll take it. Sounds fun after all,” River was admittedly curious about this circus. Plus, he wouldn’t mind seeing this… Pierrot again. 

“I assure you, I’ll make you smile during my performance,” Pierrot assured him, his smile mysterious, instantly piquing River’s interest. Again. Damn.

“Can’t wait to see it,” River put the ticket in his pocket. “And sorry to say this, but… My boss told me to close up, we can’t stay too long here.”

“I completely understand,” Pierrot said, taking a step back. “I had hoped to arrive earlier but, I did not wish to cause you any inconvenience, my lord.”

Given his size and the way he was dressed, River wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

“It’s alright,” River bushed a stray lock of his dark hair back, not noticing how Pierrot’s eyes followed the movement. “This way we got to talk a bit. Now I know you wouldn’t have been able to answer me in public.”

The Pierrot tilted his head again, a flush creeping over his cheeks, making River wonder how the mask could blush like that. Another mystery for him to figure out perhaps? He was so distracted by it, he almost missed the Pierrot’s next words.

“That’s true. Have a good night my lord,” Pierrot stepped away, heading for the door.

“Goodnight!” River called after him. After he’d left, River quickly finished up the night duties and switched off the lights. “Well, time to go home.”

I'm not sure if I want to continue this, but here it is anyway. --

River stepped out into the unseasonably cool afternoon air, making sure his gloves and facemask were firmly in place as he headed down the street. All around him, people were bundled up in gloves, coats, scarves and hats, trying to stay warm. While he hated the cold, it didn’t really affect him much – he just didn’t like it, like most of his family he thought dryly, as he crossed the road at the light.

As he reached the other side, his foot crunched on something and he glanced down, spotting yet another flyer for The Freak Circus – the things were everywhere. He’d heard of this circus from others, but had never been in the same area as it before. He was a little interested to see what he could find there. If he decided to go, since he didn’t really like large crowds, especially when they were made up of humans.

“Hey! Get out of here weirdo!” an angry voice sounded from just up ahead, followed by the sound of a loud thump, instantly diverting River’s attention. Looking up, what he saw made his blood boil instantly, his eyes narrowing to slits. If anyone looked at him closely, they'd likely see a slight glow there. But everyone was too distracted, staring at the commotion.

A man dressed in a red clown costume was on the ground, another man standing over him, fist raised. The standing man looked angry, his face red and spittle flying as he yelled at the clown.

“Ever since you guys showed up, people have been disappearing!” he shouted. Go back to whatever hellhole you crawled out of!”

River scowled behind his facemask. Just because someone ran off with a lover, people had taken to blaming the circus? The idea was ludicrous – it was people just wanting a scapegoat. Not that River had paid much attention, people were always going missing after all. Even as he watched the angry man took a menacing step closer to the one on the ground, who was silent.

“I’m talking to you freak! Get out of our town!”

River had heard enough. Stepping closer, he yelled at the man, “what do you think you’re doing? You can’t just attack someone like that! I’m calling the police!”

Apparently, River wasn’t the only one who’d seen enough. A watching human joined in, also condemning the angry man for his actions.

“Yes that’s right.” they said. “You’re going way too far!”

“Wake up, you idiots!” the violent man rounded on them. “They’re the ones kidnapping people!”

Before River could say anything, the other person snapped back, “stop with the paranoid nonsense. People go missing all the time.”

“To hell with all of you!” the man fumed, fists clenched as he glared around all the people watching him with disapproval, before storming off. Everyone continued on their way, not paying any more attention to the man in red, or River as he approached.

“Are you ok?” he asked, holding out a hand. “I’ll help you get up.”

The man in red was unexpectedly tall, surprising River, who was above average in height himself. Swallowing down his surprise, his eyes flicked to the other man’s cheek, where a red mark had formed from the punch. People could be so violent and for no good reason other than their own paranoia.

“Some people are kind of hot headed… better not get too close, you know?” he reassured the clown who just nodded. “Not everyone flips out like that guy. You’ll be fine, okay?”

Still the man remained silent, even as he stepped closer, tilting his head. His eyes moved over River, clearly assessing him. River was used to this, especially from others like himself – they always wanted to get his measure. After all, who knew what tricks someone like him had up his sleeve. Unfortunately for this man, River had a job to get to and couldn’t indulge the obvious curiosity.

“Well, I gotta go or I’ll be late,” he stepped back, lifting his hand in a small wave, noticing the other man’s eyes flicking to it. “Take care, okay?”

As he headed down the street towards the cafe where he worked, River was certain the man behind him was watching him the whole way, causing the small hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. He had to resist the urge to look back, instead heading around the corner towards the cafe where he worked.

You had remembered.

It had happened during a stormy night at the hospital, when the cries of fellow patients were drowned out by the fury of the elements outside. The storm hadn’t bothered you, in fact it was preferable to listen to than the despair of the others. 

All day you’d been bothered by a persistent throbbing headache in your temple, one that had gotten progressively worse as the day went on. However, you'd wisely not mentioned it to anyone, since the orderlies would likely have dosed you with medication. 

The medication they used always left you feeling uncoordinated and nauseous, almost like you were drunk. In this state, you were more open to manipulation, something your doctor took advantage of on occasion – determined to get to your lost memories.  

He’d failed.

Almost a year of your life had been spent in that place, locked in a small room with only a bed and a toilet, the latter of which you were fortunate to have. Everything else was taken from you upon arrival – your clothes, your phone, your jewelry.

The only items you were allowed to keep were two small metal pins in the form of a gold star and a green heart, which seemed to have had great significance to you. Although you couldn’t remember where you got them, you were desperate to hold onto them – they were important somehow.

When you arrived, the orderlies had tried to take them, only for you to become incredibly volatile –even after sedation– until you got them back. And so, they had remained in your possession, with everyone agreeing that they might help with your inexplicable memory loss. There was just *something* about them, they had felt important somehow, and you couldn’t let go. It was right there, on the edge of your thoughts, a mental itch that you couldn’t quite reach. 

But on that night, staring at the small pins in the palm of your hand, barely illuminated by the light coming in through the small window on the door, the answer had felt closer than ever. You reached, searching, *searching* for the elusive memories that haunted you with their absence.

Just as you were about to put them away, another bolt of lightning flashed, reflecting off the metal and the memories returned at last, the fog obscuring them burning away with a final spike of pain through your head. Memories of *that* place…*

Of Pierrot.

Of Harlequin.

A shudder went through your body, and… *of Jester.*

You'd remembered everything, the methods of the hospital finally breaking through Jester's mind lock and releasing a torrent of memories, both good and bad. The shock had caused you to stumble to the toilet and throw up next to nothing, the sound of the pins tumbling to the floor lost in the sound of the storm. 

Right after you had passed out, your mind buried under the crushing emotional force of so many memories that your brain switched you off to deal with them.

You had remembered.

♡ ☆ ♡ ☆

"Well, I'm glad you're out of hospital River," your friend is smiling at you now, their eyes unable to hide their curiosity. "Did you recover all your memories?"

You really don’t want to be having this conversation again. Everyone asks the same questions, questions they don’t realize hurt you. Each innocent inquiry is just another needle, stabbing into a past you don’t want to remember. You struggle to keep those memories at bay on the best of days, and their curiosity just makes things harder. Swallowing the urge to deflect, knowing it’d raise red flags, you force a smile.

"Yes, everything is back to normal," you assure them, pushing the memories deep down, where they wouldn’t show. You really just want to go back to your new apartment - your old one had been rented out to someone else after you entered the hospital. "Well, I have to go, the job search continues!"

Your friend laughs and wishes you luck, then walks past you to continue on their way. As you turn to see them off, you see *them.* Your mind balks at the sight before you, for even at this distance, you can’t help but recognize the two figures at the end of the street. Their figures seared into your memory and not only because of fear.

It's Harlequin that notices you first, glancing down the road and doing a double take when he sees you. He must have said something because Pierrot quickly turns to look as well, his golden eyes going wide at the sight of you standing there.

Your vision begins to blur, your heart hammers against your chest and you try to control your breathing as you take a step back then another. Neither make a move towards you, just staring, the glow in their eyes evident even at a distance – or maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you. An insidious whisper crosses your mind, sounding suspiciously like Jester had that night.

'Fool,”' it whispers. 'Now they know something is wrong. You should run, little rabbit.'

You turn and walk away, trying desperately not to listen to the voice and run, you don’t want to draw their attention to you any more than you already have. You can feel their stares, boring into your back as you head around the corner towards home, trying to hold back the monster in your mind.

You barely manage to get through and close the door before black spots appear in your vision and your stomach lurches. Staggering to the kitchen, you grip the sink, retching over it, throat burning as nothing comes up. Because you have forgotten to eat today – again.

Trying to remember the breathing exercises your new therapist had recommended, you scramble for something to ground you. But you don’t find it, your legs giving out, sending you crashing to the hard wood floor. You don’t even feel the pain, the noise in your head building to a crescendo, drowning out all sound and sensation, leaving no barrier between you and the nightmares.

The darkness had arrived.