hey. i (disabled trans femme person) need urgent help escaping abuse.
i come to you with some very bad news and a long story, i guess. it's a story of financial abuse and years and year of my life in vain.
snippets of this were things ive talked about before, but theyve been intensifying recently to a point that i can't ignore them anymore. they dont blend into the background anymore. figurateively, im being poisoned, and im feeling it.
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look below the cut for further details of what's happening. i wish i could've been more concise, but the ongoing situation is convoluted and its hard to wrap my whole head around it sometimes.
ive had my patreon for around 7 years, now. since the beginning, i wanted it to become sizable and to earn me a living eventually; it never did.
ive also released several games, which, again, didnt earn me a living.
ive done a lot of work on projects under nda, which didnt earn me a living either.
none of it came together.
as a result of this, i have spent that past while being strongly supported through donations from people like you on tumblr and discord (thank you ;;) and... from my parents.
the latter is the crux of this. their control over my finances lends them a very strong influence over what i am allowed to do and what im not allowed to do in my life.
as a result of this, they have essentially kept me from pursuing the jobs and the life ive wanted to pursue for the past 7 years. anything i was able to come up with wasn't good enough. game development is an "expensive hobby". "an outcrys" nomination was a "costly adventure that didn't retain value". my art is "sad and depressing, no one wants to see it". video games are "not real, you need a second foot to stand on".
so ive been toiling away, trying to please their whims of what im "supposed to be doing", using precious time i couldve used entering the industry i actually wanted to enter learning skills i didnt want for jobs i didnt want, applying and being denied. for a brief while, between 2020 and 2023, i was allowed to do my game development thing, finally, because of covid and such. that grace period is now over.
they have also been strongly controlling my bodily autonomy as it relates to choices im allowed to make without having to suffer emotional damage from them, which has been paranoia-inducing to say the least.
at this moment, i am at a crossroads.
either, i take on a job that pays whatever my parents think is enough for a living and is the "right kind of job" (with my lack of education outside of artistic fields: close to impossible);
or i find a well-paying high-profile job in the video game industry (with my qualifications and the state of the industry: close to impossible);
or i enter my country's disability pay system.
i have a disability diagnosis, so this would be within reach. it would also be a good deal more money than my parents are keeping me drowning with. to succeed with my application however, id need to:
close my patreon
stop developing games (not enough resources, mental or financial)
be at the whims of this country's political situation and how it relates to welfare, which is in sharp decline
im asking you all for help choosing none of the above.
i want to be free from their financial influence. i want to be able to instantly send them back their "alimony" and know that they can no longer direct my life according to any whim they may have. i want more time to be allowed to stand on my own two feet without being emotionally hurt and financially controlled - because it is nothing short of killing me.
i've started goal on ko-fi - 6000 $. i need a buffer like that in order to be able to have a bargaining chip in this arrangement, at least for half a year.
i need that money to be able to refuse the money my parents only use to have power over me and my life choices, to be able to consistently emotionally harm me and my prospects to become independent in the way i want to.
thank you for reading. even just talking about this makes me feel a little better. please help, and donate if you are able.
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i'm late on my rent for reasons outside of my control. HELP
To keep things short: I came home from a walk today to find a 3 Day Notice on my door. It seems like the autopay my roommate had set up may have not gone through this time? Unfortunately, he's currently not really available because he went in to a surgery appointment literally a couple hours before the note was posted on our door... so I'm having trouble figuring out how to fix this, especially since he won't be home for another couple days at the least, and I don't have the rent payment account info.
If I can't figure out what happened to the last payment we sent in time (and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to), I'm going to have to figure out how to get another full month of rent + late fee to the management so they don't evict us.
AUGUST 4th: 0/650
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Shared a screengrab of a T-posing, low poly model of myself in my previous post. I made her my VRChat avatar...but now I've worked out (Mostly, she still needs a bit of tweaking)
Anyways! Here's a nice crunchy gif showing off what I've put together.
It me. In low poly, 3D! Gotta come up with a cool scene so I can make a vignette with her in it. I'm really proud of how she's turned out! S
It me. In low poly, 3D! Gotta come up with a cool scene so I can make a vignette with her in it. I'm really proud of how she's turned out! She's actually using a 3D scan of my face that I've modified to bring it down to a poly count that's more like something from the PSX. I also threw her in VRChat!
(Also, my commissions are open, if you'd like something like that, you can DM me)
Hey! My commissions are open if you need any PSX Styled 3D work!
Commission includes source files, and can be made game-ready.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Merry Christmas, everyone! My evergreen wishes for you all on this and every day are that you all find yourselves safe and warm, in good health with good food to eat, and surrounded by the good people in your lives who make you feel loved.
What are everyone’s particular goals and wishes for the new year? I’m hoping to have more time for personal artwork, especially finally getting the chance to work on the next issue of The Makeshift Man like I keep talking about. And in my personal life, I’m hoping to get more tattoos, ha ha!
It’s the 12th of May, 2022. You wake up to an anemic day, significant in all it lacks. You will stay at home, doing your menial tasks; you will not move mountains, and you won’t change the world.
Crumbs is a 20-25 minute short autobiographical simulation game made in RPG Maker 2003. You play as Quinn, a little animal in a world that has no horizon, trying to amuse themselves, even as their spirit is eroded by the things they try to forget.
This game is my “goodbye” to this engine. In creating it, I bumped up against hurdles in RM2k3’s construction that show me it’s time to move to greener pastures.
It has been featured by @pizzapranks in this month’s issue of Indiepocalypse:
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Hey so I’ve avoided having to do this before, but I need to actually ask for help, for once. The last couple months sucker punched me kinda hard and I need to keep being able to make rent, so if I could get some help (whether in exchange for art or not) I’d greatly appreciate it.
I set up a “Ko Fi” for this, you can either drop a little in a jar, or buy slots of various commission types.
As for the parts about gamedev work: I’ll honestly need an actual job when I’m back from my trip, so if anyone is looking for an artist who can do concepts, spritework, 3D models, so on… send me a line, I’m in the market right now.
mail for work talk: kitetfrogspond at gmail dot com
kofi page: https://ko-fi.com/kitetfrog
commission listings: https://ko-fi.com/kitetfrog/commissions
