&. | of pearls and heels.

Calum chuckled as he was passed the drink from the man standing behind the bar and took his first long pull before visually showing her the rolling of his eyes. “Riiight. Always had a bit of kangaroo in you didn’t you?” He teased as he watched her expression go from slightly one that was slightly playful to panicked. One that made sense considering the problem at hand. He’d literally caught her red-handed several times. Or at least he thought he had until she questioned whether Callie had told him or not. “What do you mean? Callie didn’t have to tell me anything. It’s been a little obvious.” He mused as he swirled the beer around in his glass. It wasn’t like he needed to. It was a cheap shitty drink, but somehow took the place of any other fidgeting he might have tried for. “I didn’t realize you two had run into each other again after the whole incident at the bar opening. Which I’m sorry for again. I’m sure that probably wasn’t the most comfortable situation to walk in on.” He said, unsure now if he should be the one that was nervous or not. Nothing had happened between the two of them since she’d been back which was honestly perhaps a bigger surprise than what he thought they needed to talk about. He paused again as she rambled off about telling him sooner, as if he hadn’t seen enough already, trying to figure out how the hell she really expected him not to know when all of a sudden she stopped to ask what they were supposed to be discussing. The confusion probably clear as day on his face as he sat back in his seat to shoot her an estranged look. “Umm probably about the fact that when you arrived in town you told me you were sober, trying to get clean and that clearly hasn’t happened since being back. The whole falling off the bandwagon thing. But I have to be honest, you haven’t done a great job at keeping that a secret.” 

Kangaroo? Was that a dig at a pouch? No! No. He just means they’re jumpy, stop thinking into this. The guilt -- god, this entire fucking situation truly was getting to her, wasn’t it? Nervous chuckles is all that passed through her lips, flurrying out like a melody as worried hues turned down to the glass that sat in front of her. “Obvious? I mean I wouldn’t say obvious, I know I gained a little weight, but I thought I did a good job at snapping back, I mean fuck, my body’s been through a lot,” she’d murmured out quietly, begging for her brain to stop the words that had begged to escape. Tell him. Tell him and it’ll be all over, just like that. He’ll hate you, but you can move on -- fuck, he can move on. Move on after he knows all the sins you’ve committed. You’ll beg, he’ll just let you go -- like you were never even there. Two years gone, but jesus -- isn’t anything better than this shit show you’re calling a life? Than keeping the little girl you love so much a secret? Sober. Falling off the bandwagon. God, why did it sound so much fucking worse coming from his mouth? Still, it ignited the small flame that flickered within her, defense firing up as eyebrows knit together, a smile coming across her face as she tried to keep her cool, feeling the liquor settle in, the warmth overcoming her. “Sorry... Cal I just -- I don’t.. No offense, but you don’t know what the fuck is going on in my life, so I don’t think whatever judgement you’re expelling right now, is justified. So who cares? I said I wanted to stop drinking, I changed my mind. I’ve been going through a lot of shit okay. Besides, I-I’m not a fucking addict. I don’t have a problem, I was just a little too wild, a few fucking drinks aren’t gonna kill me.”

hollis deadpanned truly, smacked by reality and practically frozen. how could he have known how hard it had been for her? it’s not like she had exactly reached out. he couldn’t blame her though because who in their right mind would have ever wanted hollis to be the father of their child? he was practically a boy himself and deeply, he had some growing up to do. especially now. all he could do now was shake his head, pressing lips together and swallowing down creeping worry and dozens of questions. there wouldn’t be any finger pointing here, that’s not what they had been trying to do. if they were to come to any sort of resolution or plan, he needed to keep his mouth closed. a feat he had not tried in a long, long while.

the way she tried to get any smaller than she always was gave her away. how long had they been friends? hollis knew that she had been trying to disappear. “good mums take breaks some times.” or so he was told. but he couldn’t shake the guilt washing over him, cece’s sadness almost able to be felt from across the dead space. he longed to take her up in his long arms, hug her and let her know that it would be okay. that would be counter productive to the cause though, hollis knew that. “she’s not going to remember all of this in the end, c. she’ll only pick up on your emotions, which, i guess i’m just sayin’ that if anything, i hope that i, uh, well can help with that. take some time for yourself here and there. go get a massage or something. at an actual spa, not in dick form-“ hollis snorted at himself, trying to hold back a fit of laughter. even in important moments, there he was making an utter fool of himself.

“if she’s mine that isn’t even a question, celestia,” hollis told her, all but cutting cece off while sitting up straighter. “neither one of us asked for this but if it’s what’s meant to be, and we have a kid together, you and i will find a way to make it work. what’s the term for it? i know there’s gotta be one.”

pausing, hollis really thought about that question. it felt as if he had been standing on a floating dock, connected to shore but just barely. just a few weeks back none of this had been on his radar and somehow his life had changed. he had come through cece’s home expecting to be a good friend helping her paint and honestly maybe get laid, but instead he came out a father to her baby. potentially. most likely. “i’m fuckin’ wrecked about it, honest. nothin’ to completely kick off about but, you know you had all that time to process it or maybe, at least kind of. it’s not like she just appeared for you, right? for me actually, she’s still this little enigma. i can’t even dream up what she looks like or what it’s gonna be like to know her. and, so be it if i am her father, i think it’d be quite neat to know her. half of me. parts of us. it’s so fucked up, cece.” and then, he really did start laughing, shaking his head and squeezing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “god, can you believe it? in it together for the rest of our days. quite fucky, huh? the way it all works out.” in fact, hollis wasn’t sure he’d ever really believe that this was the outcome. he’d be gaining a family, a daughter and cece as that baby’s mother. but taking responsibility, really owning this, meant that he couldn’t just up and run. the days of hopping out of windows and scaling balconies to get away from the uncomfortable were up for him. he’d have to face calum, face the ghost of evie. really close the chapters of his life that were left open ended. there’d be no way he’d be hauling that baggage while trying to…. parent. he’d have to face himself and that was the scariest thing of all because when on god’s green earth did hollis do that? 

“so. i go to the appointment and give them my dna or what have you. they tell me she’s mine or it’s a match or i’m the golden ticket holder and then what? we do this thing? like, platonically parent or-?”

“good moms try... so i guess that’s what i’m doing here, just... trying.” hollis had known her long enough to know her quips, quirks, everything in between. whatever she tried at, most of the time, she’d succeeded in. but this? this wasn’t in the realm of books, study, fashion, or brains -- no this, this was a beast of another kind. but to hear him say that? to hear him tell her that if she’d needed it, he’d be there. after all the shit she’s hidden, kept buried down. months of self-decisions, decisions he should’ve been involved in, decisions where he should’ve had a say but selfishness? that was always her downfall, hadn’t it been? reality had batted her down, beating the very last piece of it out of her. because her life? it wasn’t hers alone now, no. her life was her. “i’m sorry... i’m sorry i didn’t tell you,” she whispers out, her chin coming to rest upon her knees as she looks to him, shaking her head, listening to his words spew out. “-- you’re the first form of dick therapy, i’ve gotten since having her, so i don’t think that’ll be an issue.”

watching him sit straighter, she laughs because it’s ridiculous. all of this is so fucking ridiculous that it makes jane the virgin look tamed. because this man? he’s not supposed to be the person that she has in her life for.. forever. he’s not supposed to be the one she’s sharing a promise with another man she’s made for so many years. it’s fascinating, watching him think, watching the goofiness fade away and for him to only have this serious expression drawn across each and every feature. 

she listens to his words... really listens, to what he has to say because this? it isn’t a choice of hers anymore, this is his choice. his choosing on whether he leaves or stays, once everything checks out, of course. lips purse, quirking to the side as she takes in a breath, and emerges a series of chuckles, because this -- well, it is quite fucky, indeed. everything about this entire situation had been fucky and at this point, she doesn’t think there’s anything better than a way to describe... well -- whatever the fuck this was. “she has my lips... your cheeks, thank god or else she’d look like a fucking chipmunk, my nose -- your eyes. this hazel, it’s like this brown but they change colors when they hit the light or with different days and you could swear they’re green,” she mutters out, a small smile coming to her face as her gaze focuses in on the carpet, and it slowly slips from her face as the negative thoughts come rolling in because god, this was asked a lot, even if she wasn’t asking. “she cries.. a lot -- probably gets that from me, i’ve always been a brat. but when she giggles, it makes up for it,” large brown eyes turn back to the pair that lay out on the couch in front of her. “you don’t have to do this because you feel guilty. i’m not gonna ask you to stay, if you don’t want to. you’re not stuck, and i’m not going to hold this over your head, or ask for anything, i-i just... i needed you to know.”

at his words, she can’t help but scrunch her nose up, as she bites at her lower lip, eyes rolling. “yeah, so you’ll go, they’ll swab a cheek and if you’re lucky, it’ll come back positive after a few days,” she tells him, because that little girl? she’s a treasure, and she refuses to see her as anything but that -- not anymore. “co-parenting is the term i think you’re searchin’ for, bruv.”

Calum didn’t go out without Callie often. Call him clingy but he missed her too much for it. But he knew that she had work to do and he also knew how distracting he could be so he figured that one drink wasn’t going to kill him. One drink at the old stomping ground. A place he’d been enough times, mixed with a scene he’d experienced enough times to almost feel at home when he saw the long dark-haired girl sitting at the bar. Remembered briefly one of the last times he’d seen her there. When he showed up drunk to beg for her to take him back prior to their very last break up. He wondered if there’d ever come a time that he didn’t experience those conflicting feelings when he’d seen her. That he’d ever have to pretend there wasn’t some part of him still deep down that cared for her. Call it a habit? Or perhaps call it this poly thing he’d spent so much time talking to Sadie about, but no matter how deep down he tried to bury it she was someone who was always going to matter. As well as someone who was always going to bring out the worst in him as he slid up behind her, clearly scaring the crap out of her in the process as he sat down. “I can’t help getting over-excited anymore than you can help being easily terrified.” He announced as he waved the bartender down to order himself his usual. “But now that I’m here I think there’s something we gotta discuss isn’t there?”

Taking the glass into hand, she pulls the liquor through her lips, letting it slip down her throat as he speaks, rolling her eyes at the statement. How much longer was she supposed to do this? Carry on a conversation as if everything had been normal, that they were simply in the place they’d been before, acting as old pals catching up, when all she’d done was betray him. Just a little bit longer, her eyes spoke out to Callie. A little bit, but time’s running out. “That’s where you’re wrong, Cal-zoney, I am not easily terrified, simply jumpy.” Celeste watches as he flags down the bartender, taking the last few sips before all but choking on the last droplets, eyes widening in his response. Apparently, time ran out. “Callie told you?” The words come out just above a whisper, but she’s studying his expression. Studying any bit she could pull from the contours of his face, but... well -- that got her nowhere except recognizing the worry that had been written across his features so many times before. “I-I was gonna tell you about it, Cal. I swear, I just -- there was never a right time, you know? It was either too soon, or too late, or too awkward or too many people -- not enough people, I just --,” she pauses her ramblings as her eyebrows knead together, lips pursing slightly as her lips press together. He should be angry, why isn’t he angry? Nostrils slightly flare as she stops her words, thinking it over carefully before speaking once more. “-- wait, what is it we’re supposed to be discussing here?”

“turn back time, start over – i mean, i guess. but then i think about all the shit that wouldn’t have happened, so i’ll go with… be happy. completely, totally, unconditionally just fucking thrilled, twenty-four seven.”