I had moments that i feel depressed. Confused and trapped in situations that i cannot changed. I hated myself, why i couldnt be able to create a way out. That moments happened repeteadly, in years. I tried, than i failed. Tried again, but no way out. I shout to God beg for a way, situations still the same. Because of that feeling during time i realize i become so easy to anger, so hard to forgive, so quick to judge, so prideful but also cried fearfully, so afraid and scared for the future to come. That the same ocean of sadness in my heart will remains here in next year, the year after, and after that, and so on.. After years, In that season i learn, when things dont change as you persistenly pray, when God seems quite in your tears and not provide our needs. That is when God want to CHANGE the old us. Our old way to love, Our old thoughts about what is the besy things in love. Our old standard of happiness. Our old wisdom of knowing Him. Our old daily life. Our ould way of praying. Our old life purpose. Those every little thing that cannot be CHANGE unless we travel years of despair and hopeless moments. God is in control, and He choose to change us today. Am i still depressed? Yeah maybe, we fight the devil until the very last of our breath. But i shall remember this : God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. - psalm 41:6.
