VALENTINE

After months of perfecting her craft, Fawn felt she was finally ready to release her first album to the public. For a while there, she was a glorified Instagram model who happened to be tied to the VanCamp name, even down to releasing a line of lip kits centered around the touted desirability of her own. Months of hard work was finally paying off and she had to say she was proud of herself. The joy was apparent on her face as she walked through the alley with a large vase of flowers in her arms, a gift she’d bought for the Valentines in order to decorate a part of their living room. Really her mother helped her picked them out.

Then there he was, the man who had the ability to control her every emotion, even if she never openly vocalized that fact. “Excuse me.” she spoke softly, knowing he hadn’t seen her since she’d disappeared off to Charlotte to work on her album, but she wasn’t about to let him know how much she really missed him. So much. Of course, he hadn’t heard her, and she had no hands to motion for him to get out of the way, so she cut her eyes to one side and let out the deepest sigh she could muster. “Ya… but there’s some left.” she state plainly, finally placing the vase down as it’d gotten to heavy to continue holding onto. “You’ve been well, I hope.”

The months slowly piled on top of each other until this moment. Milo remembered nodding at Emmi’s excitement when she told him about Fawn going to the big city to work, but it wasn’t until he had reached for his laptop to send her another piece he’d been working on that he really noticed her gone. When he saw one of their mutual friends post about the lip kits on Instagram, he clicked on the link and bought the entire collection- in a silent show of support, because she was one of his little sister’s oldest friends. Milo walked by the kits in his apartment so much that he even recognized the one that lined her full lips as she stood in front of him- staring up at him through a full set of dark lashes. “I’m not hungry.” He only asked because he wanted to make sure she had her fill already. If not then he would have made sure she did. He nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip for a moment. “Yeah. Peachy as peachy gets.” 

Milo reached down to pick up the flowers where she set the vase down, momentarily allowing himself to be her arms. “Let’s put them inside.” He waited for her to lead them inside and continued to talk- it was his way of extending an olive branch. “Do you have a release day yet?” Milo was never fazed at the stark difference between their hopes and dreams, Fawn was born bigger than Fallbrook so it felt like the natural progression of things. He set the vase down and could hear the happy noise of the brunch crowd winding down outside now that his hearing aid dialed was in. When he turned to let her move the flowers around to her liking, he hadn’t expected her to be so close. He stepped to the side to give her room. “What are the flowers for?”

The glow of his phone screen caught Milo’s attention. He rolled over in bed to check it and was up in a matter of seconds. He tossed some jeans and a black hoodie on before he headed out. He was still keeping friendships to a minimum, but the few he managed were top priority and it didn’t take long to get to Pit Stop and find Jude.

Milo grabbed her wrist to untangle her hand from where she was trying to tame that one rowdy piece of hair- it had been sticking up all night. “What drink are you on?” Milo found himself in an easy friendship with Jude, but they never went to bars together and he couldn’t tell if she was a lightweight or not. He also avoided bars like the plague -no reason to shove his past in his face- but he got a call to pick Jude up, so there he was. “Let’s get some food in you.” He nodded at the bartender- another familiar face in the town he grew up in. 

There were things just above the horizon that Milo couldn’t always ignore. Sunday Brunch with the family wasn’t easily opted out of, even when the sun was starting to set and he knew people would head to their own homes soon. He hooked his helmet to one of the handlebars after having parked his motorcycle on the curb- and as usual, he had to wade through a sea of vehicles along the driveway to reach an entry point to the backyard. He pushed through the door there, into the alley that lined one side of his parent’s property and saw her standing there with something in her arms. Milo wasn’t surprised to see the blonde. After all, family gatherings often extended to friends and his little sister always dragged hers to them.

He tipped his chin down, letting his sapphire eyes meet hers for a moment before they dropped to her lips. He watched her mouth move and waited until she was back to the familiar expression she carried around him to finally reach up, touch his hearing aid, and fidget with the dial. “What?” He always turned it off when he rode his bike. One of his brothers, his wife, and kids walked by and pulled him into hugs as they said their goodbyes- letting him know that there was still a bit of food left. He watched them go first, but dropped his eyes to his watch with a frown. He was later than he thought. Milo turned back to Fawn. “Have you eaten yet?

Fawn had settled with the fact that she wasn’t important enough to be owed an explanation for whatever happened that took precedent over their date. There would always be a sting in her heart when she thought about how easily Jude bonded with Milo when she was clearly struggling to keep any corner of his attention occupied no matter how hard she tried. At this point, she accepted that she was just going to begin the process of forgetting about him and moving on. With her working on music again, but she could sell herself to VanCamp records as a valuable asset. As ridiculous as it sounded, since her father passed, she was dropped from the label and seen as a liability more than anything. Part of her wondered if her mother was in cahoots with her uncle in more ways than one. Her blue eyes found his for a moment, silently wishing for the first time that he would jut go away, but she knew being extra mean to him would only prove Jude right about how selfish she could be at times. “Kay…” she said, staring at his hand and intentionally ignoring it as she slipped her bag onto her shoulder and took a couple hundred bucks out of her purse to leave on the table as a tip for the incredibly kind waiter who didn’t kick her out after hours of just listening to the jukebox. “I think you need soup..” she tried to sound monotone, even, like she didn’t care and was simply offering common sense advice. In reality, she preferred to have her mother make it for him, but she knew it would be going too far at that point.

If Milo was feeling better than he was then he might have acknowledged the small victory of getting her to agree, but he was tired as hell and only flicked his gaze to the tip money for a moment before he moved alongside Fawn. He wasn’t sure what to make of her surprising generosity or of her. “Soup sounds nice.” Was all he could say because in the next instant he bumped his arm into hers on accident and the relief that came from having her support should have embarrassed him, but instead he hope she wouldn’t swat him away. He was being a burden and started to think that he should have stayed home and made it up to her later. On second thought, he only went there to apologize and do something to rectify the situation later. Hadn’t he? His memory felt a little fuzzy, but she seemed okay spending time with him despite being sick. He looked back to make sure she didn’t forget anything and opened the door to let her walk out first when he was satisfied that she hadn’t. Milo reached up and adjusted his hearing aid to the outside world and realized how much his skin needed sunlight after basically turning into a recluse to finish the soundtrack. “Jude’s graduation is next week, right? I know you and Emmi probably have it covered but if you’re throwing a party, I can help.”

Jude scrunched up her nose slightly as she wiped at the tears. “No… You see nothing.” Although it wasn’t as if Milo hadn’t seen her at her worst before. She glanced up towards him after the quick peck to her temple, her eyes resting on him before shifting in the direction of the windows in front of the cafe as if she was expecting Fawn to come storming in after that simple gesture. She laughed, wiping the last few tears as she nodded her head. “Yeah, that’s what people on booktok call the male main in this book.” She chuckled as she slipped the book carefully into her bag as she let her eyes raise up towards him. “If that day ever comes I think he should be prepared for my love of books. I just subscribed to kindle unlimited so now I get to borrow some of the ebooks that I want.” She teased, thinking about the fact that there were only a handful of books that worked with the subscription. She smiled, glancing down towards the cup of coffee on the table in front of her as she shifted in her seat, reaching out to wrap her hands around it. She hadn’t been expecting the nice compliment and at this point in her friendship with Milo she should have been used to it but sometimes it always knocked her off her horse a little. “School is good. I actually graduate next week,” she confessed. “I’m mostly hoping at this point that my dad makes it.” She lifted her eyes up towards him as he asked her about the party in Queen’s Park. “Ah,” she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not really sure if I want to go or not. I mostly just end up sitting on the couch in the corner towards the end of the night so… I don’t know.” She brought her mug up to her lips, taking a sip of it. “What about you? Are you going to attend the party?” She kept her gaze on him for a few seconds. “Or are you spending the weekend with your music? Get any further with that piece yet?”

Milo thought about it again when she explained. A tampon. But he didn’t ask more about it since she was already moving on. He wanted to ask Jude if she had other hobbies, but every way he thought about it sounded offensive and that wasn’t how he meant it. That was Milo’s real curse; he needed to make sure everything he said came out exactly how he meant it or else there was no point. Words could cause a lot of hurt and he didn’t want to hurt anyone else. That was why he stayed quiet most of the time. “Sounds like you have a lot of reading to do.” He pointed out with a smile and took another drink of his coffee. “Just make sure you make carve out some time for me, yeah?” He nodded when she mentioned graduation. It was all Emmi had been able to talk about for the last month, because she wanted to get Jude the perfect gift. Milo didn’t think it was a good idea to tell her that he already got the perfect gift for her best friend, but the thought made him chuckle. “I’m sure he will. People don’t miss out on that kind of thing, Jude. At least no one that matters. I’ll be there. Look for me behind the wall of balloons Emmi’s going to bring for you.” He shrugged about the party, more interested in why she always ended up sitting on the couch. “You know parties aren’t my kind of thing, but I’ll go if you go.” Only so she could be with a friend instead of waiting it out. Milo didn’t think about what the gesture looked like after giving her a gift he knew she would like either. 

It had been a while since the blonde had even heard from Milo, and if she were being completely honest with herself, she was completely hurt by his sudden absence. Not only were they meant to go on this Easter date together, but she had everything planned out. Having bought him a custom locket with a photo of them in their younger years together, she held a card in her hand and waiting for hours. The card detailed how she had been feeling about him lately and left it open for him to make a decision, but that she would want to remain friends even if he didn’t feel the same way. All of that went out of the window when he left her there looking like an idiot. After crying herself to sleep that night, she was inspired, turning lemons into lemonade and she decided to write. For days, she barely slept, penning lyrics on how she truly was feeling about Milo in all. Some of the most painful lyrics she’d ever written down, some that would likely hurt him if he were to figure out they were about him. Her favorite spot in Maggie’s was right next to the jukebox, where she could drop a quarter in every now and again to request her favorite songs. This time it was Don’t Wanna Fall In Love by Jane Child. Her perfectly glossed lips were wrapped around her straw, sipping away at the milkshake on the table when she heard Milo’s voice, followed by him sitting beside her. Blue eyes cutting in his direction, she had to forced the tears back that immediately threatened to leave her eyes. “I don’t care.” her tone harsh as she scooted to the edge of the seat to be as far away from him as she possibly could. “You should go home, you don’t look too good.”

Milo wasn’t lying when he said he had been looking forward to the date. It seemed like a good opportunity to talk with Fawn about something they had in common; their love of music. Not only that, but he could use the break and spending some time with this blonde made the more important blonde in his life happy— not that it was hard to make his younger sister happy. The guy was unaware of Fawn’s complicated feelings for him and seeing as Milo swore off that kind of emotional connection to others since Adelaide, he was just there to make up for being a dick. Fawn looked like she was trying really hard to pull off the unbothered look on her face and the bit of hope Milo held on to that she hadn’t waited for him and that he hadn’t in fact stood her up vanished. Although there was a reason behind most people’s actions, Milo wasn’t the type to use those reasons as excuses. With how things stood between the two of them, he wouldn’t have done anything differently. He thought Fawn would choose making moves in her dream career to him too, but it didn’t make him any less of an asshole in that moment. “You don’t care.” Milo gave her a slow nod. The aches in his body shot to the forefront at her words and he wished. He almost agreed with her because she was right and he didn’t feel so good, but he left his apartment and trekked over to find her for a reason. He nodded again and stood up like he was finally going to take her advice and leave, but turned to face her. He wasn’t going to admit how much standing up took out of him. A beat passed before he spoke so he could scan her eyes. “Is that what you want?” On a normal day, Milo would leave it at that but the fever that started to crept in made him chattier than usual. He stuck his hand out for her. “Come with me. We can take some food to go.”

continued from here

Elio took a few steps off the ladder, wiping his hands together as he let his eyes focus on Milo. Truthfully, the last thing he wanted to do was drag Emmi into something so soon after Leyla. He had been ready to spend the rest of his life with the Osman woman and he knew the one thing he shouldn’t do was jump into a new relationship even if the blonde was someone who lightened up his day. But he also knew that Emmi had her own demons to deal with and the last thing he wanted to do was put her in something she wasn’t ready for. It was a big mess. And messes weren’t something Elio was good at containing. He brushed his tongue along his lower lip as he tilted his head up towards the ceiling. He wasn’t really sure why Mr. Valentine always asked him to do the stuff around the house especially with all the sons he had. “Only by a few minutes.” He said as he turned his head to look back at Milo. “No, Emmi’s upstairs with those two girls she hangs out with… Uh, Fawn and Jude. I think.”

On cue, Milo picked up the shuffling of feet upstairs. Emmi’s room was overhead, right on top of where they were standing. They weren’t being very subtle up there and it surprised Milo that he missed all the noise at first. “Hmm.” He was hearing impaired, but it challenged him to pay better attention to his surroundings and he usually didn’t miss things. He shook this one off; his mind was cluttered lately and he hadn’t expected Elio to be at his childhood home so it threw him off. His eyes moved back to Elio. Milo had no reason to stay there too long, but now he knew that Jude was upstairs and he wanted to talk to her about a book she suggested. He could text her later, but he liked seeing how excited she got when she talked about reading. His thoughts moved back and forth through a plethora of possibilities in just seconds. He was putting the pieces together, like how Elio was always by himself like him. He heard the man had a hard time recently and Milo could understand what it felt like going through hard things alone. That’s what pushed him to ask. “If you’re done, there’s an old Nintendo 64 in the living room. I haven’t played Mario Kart in a while.”

Milo was still on a mission to rebuild the friendships he neglected during college. He caught Tia in a worse mood than usual earlier that day and she told him her twin was back; Milo didn’t hesitate a second before he went back to his apartment, wrapped work up, and headed to the Reyes household. He hadn’t been to Eris in a long time, but the neighborhood always felt the same. He parked his motorcycle by the curb, turned on his hearing aid, and greeted Mrs. Reyes who told him to wait in the living room while she called her other daughter. Milo smirked when he saw her walk in. “When were you going to tell me that you’re back in town?” It wasn’t until that moment that he realized how much he missed having an old friend back in his life. He stood up and walked over to welcome her with a hug that wasn’t usually something the guy did, but something more innate in him needed to feel Penelope’s density; the stability of a friendly face. “You are back, aren’t you?”

Milo didn’t look great. Actually, if he looked even half a fraction as bad as he was feeling then he most likely looked as good as whichever kind of gunk was stuck under his shoes. He pushed past the front door; his eyelids felt heavier than usual and he hoped the cup of coffee he had that morning would do something about the redness that stained his undereyes. He was sick. Or getting sick. That was what working day in and day out made of people. Work had become his life because the deadline for the soundtrack was coming up. Unfortunately, that meant he lost track of the days and, thanks to Emmi who cluttered his inbox with an array of text messages that followed the trajectory of her thoughts, from excited about who his Easter egg date was to upset about him forgetting all about it, he was looking for Fawn to apologize. Finding most people in Fallbrook was easy, the town only had a couple of select places people liked to spend time in without going to the city, but Fawn’s social media outreach made it easier. He wasn’t stalking her. That’s what he told himself when he looked at the location of her most recent picture, because Emmi was too mad at him to make things easy so he did what he had to do. Part of him thought Fawn wouldn’t even care, she was probably busy too and didn’t notice. Maybe she didn’t want to go on the date with him when they could barely hold a conversation that spanned longer than five minutes these days. “I know you’d rather be sent to Antarctica then talk to me right now...” Milo paused and scratched at his jaw. “Or not.” Sometimes he thought he could read her, but she always seemed to display the opposite of what he thought she might be feeling. “Hear me out, you can continue to sigh at me forever after.” He wasn’t sure why that was the line that came out of his mouth when he finally spotted the blonde, his exhausted body practically falling into the spot next to her. “I’m sorry I forgot the date Fawn.” He was ready to make things right if she wanted so he added one more thing at the end to get rid of the animosity if she was feeling it. “I was looking forward to it.”

Jude was memorized by the illustrations on the cover of the book in her hands. Ever since she had seen the special editions of the acotar series she wanted a copy of her own so the fact she was holding the first book in her hands, it was surreal. There were a lot of things the young woman had done her life to make her feel like she didn’t deserve moments such as this one. “You —” her eyes lifted up from the cover for a second to look at Milo and in that moment it was hard for her to understand why he spent time with her like this and did these nice things for her. And being the emotional person she was, it was getting harder for her to hold back the tears that were starting to build up and the more she tried to hold it back the harder it felt to swallow. Her fingers tapped against the book as she nodded her head, looking back down at it as she kept the smile spread along her features. “Thank you,” she said a little softer this time, the excitement starting to die down and the fact it had been so long since someone had done something nice for her and not to because of Fawn. She didn’t remove her eyes from the cover of the book as his hands reached out to settle her back into her seat, it dawned her in that moment they were in the book cafe and she had screamed inside of that building. Her eyes darting up for a few seconds to glance around to see if anyone was looking over at them and if they had been they certainly weren’t now. There weren’t two people more in this world that she loved more than Fawn and Emmi but she knew ever since prom that the moment Jude snapped about Fawn’s helpfulness that it changed everything between her and one of her long time friends. If she hadn’t indeed been so insecure about herself would she have been a better person. Suddenly holding this book in her hand made her feel like she was unworthy of the kind gift, that whatever Milo had to do to get it would ultimately be something he regretted. She almost didn’t realize he had leaned down and hugged her until his cheek touched hers. She turned her head to look up at him as a few tears dropped from her eyes, a little laugh leaving her eyes as he shifted to move to sit down across from her. Raising her hand, the brunette wiped the tears from her eyes. “You could have warned me that you were going to make me cry,” she smiled through the tears as she looked back down at the cover, carefully putting the book down on the table as she pointed to the person with the mask on their face. “That’s tampon,” she chuckled as she raised her eyes up towards him. “It’s a lot to dig into,” she breathed in. “This is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,” she cleared her throat, a little embarrassed about her emotions. “Kind of stupid to cry over but… Thank you again.”

“Yeah.” Milo pulled his lips in and nodded, his universal gesture to let her know it was okay to drop the subject. He got that for her because that’s what friends did, it didn’t have to go past that. Not even in a town like Fallbrook. It was easy to see why Milo and Jude became friends. Beyond how approachable he thought the brunette was, Jude had something she could lose herself into for the same reasons as Milo. While books captured her attention, music did his. He never outright asked Jude what she liked about the escapism those stacked pages between her fingers offered because he thought that he knew. He turned his head when she did. “You’re not seriously crying about a gift, are you?” Milo chuckled so lightly it sounded more like a puff of air. He gave her temple a quick kiss and stepped away, not thinking much of it past it being a comforting gesture. “Tampon.” Milo nodded again, but a smirk pulled on his face that time. The nicest thing anyone has ever done for her was get her a special edition of her favorite book series? Milo wasn’t sure what to think about that. “I’ll make sure to pass the message along to your future partner.” He teased. “One nice book and she’s a puddle of emotions, man.” His voice mimicked the scenario and he stuck a finger out in a matter of fact manner before dropping the act. Milo saw the way she faded into the background with Emmi and Fawn, but she never looked like she liked it. She tolerated it, succumbed to it. The idea that she couldn’t hold her own in a group was unthinkable to him when he saw her light up the entire book cafe in seconds. He was one the verge of asking her about it, but decided against it. She was happy; Milo liked seeing Jude happy. “That smile suits you.” He heard himself saying as he reached for his coffee and took a sip. “More than the tears.” Even if they were happy ones, he finished. He looked around and most people had gone back to their daily activities but a few whose eyes still lingered. However none of that was out of the ordinary, not for a Valentine and he guessed that it wasn’t for a Moulin either. “How’s school going? The semester is almost done, right?” He took another sip and put the mug back on the small round table between them. “Are you going to that party in Queen’s Park with Emmaline and Fawn this weekend?” Milo wasn’t a fan of parties because he always ended up with a headache and turned off his hearing aid only to have a lousy time trying to communicate with a bunch of drunk people who didn’t know ASL, but there were other reasons too. Ones that he was less open about even though Jude knew most of it now. 

The walk to Jack’s apartment was short and familiar, one that Milo knew in day and night because of how often he sought out his twin brother. College years had pushed them to opposite sides of the country but they made up for lost time soon after they both returned to Fallbrook nearly two years ago. Milo texted Jack earlier so he knew the door would be open for him. The plastic takeout bag in his hand crinkled in the space where it clung between his thigh and the door as he opened it and walked in. “How was the festival?” Milo meant to go, but when he found out that their mom registered him for the Egg Basket thing he suddenly realized he had a lot of work to do and kindly opted out. That didn’t mean he could bail on the date he won with one of their little sister’s best friends. “Brought Chinese.” He held the bag up with a questioning look to ask where he wanted them to eat. 

Jude had a book in her hand, looking at the description on the back of it. It was another one of Sarah J. Maas books and a part of her worried about starting this one so soon after she finished the acotar series. Five books, a lot of tears, squealing, and the five stages of grief bookworms went through when they finished a really good series. She pressed her lips into a thin line as she debated whether or not she should start another one of this author’s series because the last one almost ruined her life. Truthfully, books were her only escape and she may have gotten too entangled in the fiction of it all but sometimes it felt better than being her for a while especially since it wasn’t as if anyone would certainly miss her if she disappeared for a month straight to read a book or more. She turned her head to look over her shoulder to see Milo behind her. Milo and her friendship somehow blossomed throughout the last two years since he came home to Fallbrook. It was actually kind of nice to have someone who understood what it was like to find a really good book and fall in love with it. He was also the first boy man that she ever gotten close to that wasn’t Soo and of course she would be lying if she never had those look at my best friend’s older brother feelings but it was kind of impossible when Emmi had so many cute brothers. “You —” her eyes dropped to the special edition a court of thorns and roses book in his hand, a scream… an actual scream left her mouth. It was one of those excited screams that had the whole cafe stopping to stare at her, her hands raising to her mouth. “Shit, I… Shit.” She put her hands out, only letting them hover over the edition for a second. “Oh my God, Milo…” If she hadn’t been excited out of her fucking mind she probably would have started crying and paying a little more attention to the flutter that happened in her chest. She reached out and took the book from him. “Sorry, sorry.” She ended up saying after realizing she didn’t apologize for screaming so close to him. “I just.. It’s Tamlin and Feyre on the cover even though he’s a massive tampon I’m so… God, I could just…  hug you!”

The first thing Milo ever wrote a song about was the ocean. In retrospect, some might say it was pretty ironic because the thought of it still haunted his family to this day. It was a beautiful piece about the brother he hadn’t been old enough to remember; the meaning of it was one only Milo knew because even of the ocean some members of his family still stayed away. It wasn’t until an evening when he headed towards his and Jack’s shared room and he heard his mom crying while listening to it that Milo realized what music could do for others, not just himself. In the present, he looked at Jude and smiled. It was the usual easy, close lipped, but happy smile that she pulled out of him when they spent time together. He had to ground his feet when he watched her practically jump out of her seat and squeal with excitement. He had to adjust his hearing aid. “Someone I’m working on the soundtrack with has a friend at a publishing company in New York.” He explained the favor he cashed in on when people turned to look at the commotion and a few eyebrows and smiles came their way as they all, including Milo, watched Jude. He realized then that he couldn’t get enough of her. It was because Milo hoped people would have that same reaction to his art once day. Milo watched her face go from excitement to disbelief to pure bliss and as her happiness grew so did his smile. He took a step towards her and pressed his hands on her shoulders so she would sit still and take a good look at the book. He was still standing when he leaned over Jude, eyes on the illustration and the gold foiling. He thought that if he looked at it from that angle he might see what she saw but, like music, books were personal. Each experience unique to the individual. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her that hug. He didn’t mean to press his cheek against hers, but her happiness was intoxicating and for a moment he could have sworn that it rubbed off on him as he pulled away. He would laugh and tell her to relax, but he didn’t see her like that often. “Which one’s the massive tampon?” Milo pulled a chair and sat down. His eyes moved from Jude to the cover and back expectantly. 

What if? The question haunted the blonde singer often. What if she had never soiled her chances at becoming America’s next popstar by having such a stained past? Memories often tethered themselves to her psyche. Can we get a little more powder on her nose? The stylist had such an issue with blotting Fawn’s face. Honestly, it was a nervous reaction, her face secreting oils and sweat. She couldn’t fully help it. There were many nights where she hugged herself to sleep, eventually drifting off to a dream land where she was on a Grammy’s stage, headlining her own tours, signing autographs. Many people told her it wasn’t too late, if she went on a little apology tour of how she’d changed and marketed herself to labels once again, maybe she would get picked up again. The reality she lived was so close, being glammed up for photoshoots, recording half of her album and even recording a music video. Even when she was living on her high, she always hoped that Milo would like it. Would Milo think she’d stayed true to her sound all along? Would he consider her a sellout if she decided to experiment with her sound? It was stupid for him to be so heavily on her mind, but he was. The vices she’d fallen prey to were something her family wouldn’t be proud of, and she definitely wouldn’t want them finding out. Her mother barely paid attention anyway, and that was what upset her the most. The short clip of music caressed her eardrums and she was intrigued. “Can… I listen to that?” she asked softly, opting to take a seat next to Milo instead of going to the backyard as he’d originally suggested. He was mysterious and aloof.. but best of all? He was someone she’d found herself so in sync with. They loved everything to do with music. He was the reason she had even fully pursued her dreams. He believed in her when others would shoot her down. Your voice is too loud. I’m trying to work. Can you go practice elsewhere? And when she’d had her hand on the sweetest of victories, it crumbled into dust before she could put it to her lips to get a proper taste. That was what sucked the most.

Milo’s eyes rested over Fawn’s face as he took her features in for a moment of deliberation. He nodded, brushing past his thoughts because he was sure they would affect his mood when he didn’t want them too, and made room for her on the couch next to him. He knew that if he hadn’t, she would still make her way into the space. Just because he didn’t look to the door to see when Emmi would walk in didn’t mean that he wasn’t thinking about it, but it wasn’t the first time he was alone with one of his little sister’s friends. He spent a considerable amount of time with Jude at the book cafe or tagging along when there was a book signing or convention in Williamsburg. If he were willing to admit it, Jude was one of the few real friends Milo had left after years of neglecting those same friendships, but he wouldn’t admit to it only because he knew she was Emmi’s friend first and he wasn’t in the business of taking anything from anyone anymore; he had never meant to fall into it in the first place. Jude wasn’t a secret, but no one had asked Milo about it yet and it wasn’t in his nature to talk about things people didn’t ask about. On the other hand, Fawn and Milo shared the same love of music but just about nothing else. Even in their music tastes, they were different. He encouraged her creatively and helped mix melodies or compose when she asked, but it had been a while since they worked on a project together. The last time was before he graduated and went off to college a year earlier than the three musketeers. He wasn’t blind to what brought Fawn back; when he heard the story on the news he thought back to the incident he witnessed between Fawn and a formal head cheerleader when they were teenagers. He hadn’t thought about it in so long and the memory as as good as forgotten until that news segment brought it back. Part of him hadn’t been surprised, but he knew how shitty it felt for the past to creep out. It was why he never asked her about her time away from Fallbrook; never asked her about much actually. He caught how Fawn’s hair draped effortlessly over her shoulder and looked away, eyes on the DAW on the screen of his laptop. Most people would explain what they were working on at this point, but the guy just hit play after giving her an Are you ready? look. The instrumental that followed was for his most recent job, but it felt personal as music usually was for people like them. Letting her listen to it and knowing that she knew who he was felt like an invasion of privacy, but Milo didn’t mind because he knew Fawn understood. It started with four piano chords looped, building up to a more loud and grand point, then it introduced strings. Milo had barely slept in the last month, spending as much time as possible composing and then recording himself playing each instrument. The editing was the final stretch. He let the music play, sitting back so he could watch Fawn’s reaction without interrupting the moment if she noticed. 

Fawn had her own special way of doing things in life. She liked to exude what the kids were calling ‘main character energy’ at all times. In most cases, it worked in her favor, but of course there were the times that people were so incredibly tired of her. Milo was one of those people who didn’t get tired of her, or at least he didn’t show it. A lot of her more recent music had been written with him in mind, though she didn’t know it. It was more of a sub-conscious thing, where she would tell people that she had pulled inspiration from watching a lot of television, but in reality, Milo’s name was written all over those pages in a distinctly black ink. Long legs contributed to the sway of her hips as she walked her way into the Valentine family home, looking for Emmi to tell her about a new song she was working on. Who else would be sitting right there besides Milo himself, bringing a mischievous smile to the blonde girl’s made up lips. “Hey, have you seen Emmi?” she asked quickly, seemingly disinterested in making any small talk with him. In reality, all she wanted to do was get lost in conversation with him.

Milo straightened, pulled legs to the floor, and reached for the tea. He knew Fawn was about to make herself known, but what he failed to realize that she never had to do that with anyone else because Milo was the only one who didn’t bother to interject himself into her life. She took up enough of his thoughts as it was, although not for the reasons some may assume if they heard that. He wasn’t a fan of remembering his past self and he couldn't help it every time she was around. Both left a small town to pursue their passion and returned as different people. The group therapy leader at NA said that grief had no timeline, but almost two years later and Milo still couldn’t think about that time in his life without his legs giving out and his breathing getting sharp and shallow. He turned to Fawn when she asked about Emmi and watched her strut into the room, not interested enough in her next move to try to predict it. People used to think Milo was a jerk because he never talked much, but he wasn’t. He really wasn’t because a real asshole would have told her to text Emmi and check for herself, but Milo nodded as lazy as ever. “She’s running late.” Their mother asked her to pick up some last minutes items from the grocery store; more details he didn’t think Fawn would care about. He took another drink from the glass and tried not to wonder if Fawn got those comments about her time away and return too. The You’ve changed since the last time I saw you! It’s a good change. Milo wasn’t a fan of that one. Or the You look different. That was neutral, he could do with that. It meant the change was more obvious, harder to ignore. Then there was the We aren’t as close anymore. It’s nobody’s fault, I just don’t see you as often as I used to.  At least that one had truth to it. The one he couldn’t stand was one he could see in the eyes of people he loved who would never say it out loud; We’re still friends, family, but a part of me wishes you could have stayed the same. He knew they meant something along the lines of You’ve left behind a lot of parts of your old self. “I’m sure she’ll be back soon if you want to go to the backyard.” He was sure she could hear his parents out there even if he couldn’t, they were always laughing or talking loudly about something. He accidentally tapped on the space bar and a melody he was working on started to play. Another tap and it went silent again. 

Milo knew that Fawn and Jude were Emmaline’s best friends, but it was easy to get to know them. He had been a grade ahead of them in school and they were always at the house growing up, being loud and laughing up and down the stairs like girls do for as long as he could remember. As a homebody, Milo was always somewhere in the background. He saw how their operation worked. Fawn was clearly the leader who demanded attention without having to ask for it, Emmi the happy girl next door everyone liked, and Jude the sweet and reserved girl who had to run to keep up. They were his sister’s friends, but ever since his return to Fallbrook nearly two years ago he started talking more and more with Jude until they developed their own friendship apart from the group. He ran into her at Moore’s Book Cafe one day and that became their meeting place ever since. Milo pushed through the door, gave a nod to the barista at the front, and spotted the brunette in the back at the usual spot. This time he had something in his hand and handed it to her the moment her eyes met his. “Found you something.” 

The apartment next to Milo’s was getting some work done; the people there decided to renovate the kitchen after water damage from a leaking pipe. It was good news for them, however for someone who not only had a hearing aid sensitive to sudden changes in frequency but needed a quiet place to work, it was pure misery. It was Sunday and April weather in Fallbrook blessed them with a sunny day for the weekly family brunch. His parents were outside starting the grill and getting some of the sides ready for when the rest of the family and friends arrived later. He was usually there early enough to help set up, but this time he knocked on the door a couple of hours earlier in hopes of getting some work done in peace. His legs were up on the couch and crossed at the ankles, his laptop balanced on his lap with Fl Studio pulled up, a notebook on the floor where he could easily reach it, a pen on top of his free ear, and a cup of tea on the coffee table. Milo had obviously made himself comfortable and had been there for a while when one of Emmi’s friends walked in. She was early and by the look on her face, she probably didn’t know Emmi hadn’t made it yet. He looked at her with the same indifference as always, used to Fawn Seigert from a lifetime of friendship with his little sister. The guy didn’t bother saying anything as he returned his attention to the screen. 

Elio stood on the ladder, moving the metal scrapper across the hole in the ceiling. He didn’t know why lately the youngest Valentine child had been crashing his thoughts especially only a few months after his relationship with Leyla ended. He also knew that there was one thing bugging him about the blonde and it was something he had to figure out how to approach her on since he knew individuals with eating disorders did everything they could to act like it wasn’t happening. His tongue brushed along his lower lip when he heard the sound of footsteps heading towards the living room. He half expected the blonde to be there since she had a habit of popping up whenever she was on his mind. He noticed it was Milo and he didn’t know whether he was disappointed or relieved. He parted his lips to say something but when the male pointed out he looked disappointed, his arm dropped to his side as he started to step down the ladder. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Valentine.” He cleared his throat as he put the scraper down onto the plaster. “You know I’ve been working on your family’s house for a few weeks and this is the first time I’ve seen you.”

Milo knew Elio, Elio knew Milo. They knew about each other because small towns weren’t known to give many other options. It seemed like the only thing they had in common was that neither were big on friendship groups, preferring to keep to themselves when possible. Milo found a mutual respect in that, but he would be lying if he didn’t admit to being surprised at response Elio game him. It strengthened his prediction about the initial look. Icy eyes moved with the object in Elio’s hand until he set it down then he met his eyes again. The amusement in Milo’s voice didn’t travel to his features. “Whatever you say.” It wasn’t like Milo to push it, but if he didn’t want people to know about his interests then he should be better about hiding them. Milo arched a lazy eyebrow as he walked past Elio to one of the big sectionals in the living room. His father didn’t have a shortage of sons to help him around the house so what was Elio doing there? “Must’ve missed each other.” He offered no explanation before he looked around the room. His mom’s purse wasn’t in its usual spot and his father’s shoes weren’t thrown around by his recliner so they weren’t home. “You usually here on your own?”