OKAY SO BACK AT THIS BECAUSE IM NOT NORMAL ABOUT IT
It's about this guy. This lil shit:
A not-so-organised, not-so-comprehensive list of his clearly autistic traits that my brain just refused to see as autistic for the [checks watch] four years of his existence:
organised as fuck. Keeps all of his things, whether personal belongings or items in his office, in their place. Labeled, neat, has a thing for symetry and WILL grow irritated if someone messes that up or if he's prevented from keeping it that way. Has a whole-ass system for it, too. Loves structure, loves charts, loves predictablity, loves order, will make a 26648 page PowerPoint presentation with clear ciations and sources in an afternoon
doesn't have literal thinking in a sense of not understanding sarcasm or jokes, but has literal thinking in a sense of "reads out letters on an optometrist sheet when they ask if he can see them instead of just saying yes or no" and "if he's asked an area of time for his last employment on an interview sheet, he will meticulously think for specific dates instead of being general" and will also genuinely answer rethorical questions
very very blunt and doesn't tend to sugarcoat things nor does he beat around the bush about anything. If he wants to say something, he does so. But not necessarily because he's an asshole who doesn’t care if he hurts someone, but rather because he doesn’t care if others are blunt and upfront with him, so he tends to forget not everyone likes the same kind of treatment and also because he doesn’t see being blunt and upfront as something that could be seen as harsh or rude because honesty good?? No?? hahaha projection who?
this also means that he has trouble recognising when certain behaviour isn't appropriate and he's being mean or rude, even if doesn't intend to be and it's not uncommon he hurts someone's feelings with the things he says. It's also not uncommon for him to be misinterpreted by others because they tend to look at the hidden meaning his words have, something that is is simply not there. I always just assumed all of this was because he's so blunt and upfront that it confuses people and partially that's true, but also haha he has the tism and is confused himself about social interactions who would have thunk it-
to further this, he's not too keen on casual social interactions either. Definitely because he's on the introverted side of things, but also because he finds it exhausting to keep track of all the social cues and behaviour he has to uphold during conversations (Val, are you?? Stupid???)
has a small personal space bubble he'd like to be respected please and also don't touch him. Not unless you're like really really close to him and even then he'd like to be asked please
so. fucking. stubborn. A big inspiration for Aaron’s character were people who uphold incredibly extremist beliefs to the point of force and violence no matter what political side they stand on. Aaron was deeply radicalised by a set of events I will not be getting into right now, and definitely sees himself as whatever the SC equivalent of leftist/liberal there is (I hate those terms but ugghhh lets use them for the sake of this argument), to the point of seeing himself and the people who are a part of his organisation as martyrs/Robin Hood-esque figures, the righteous saviours of The PeopleTM, whether they like it or not. He wants freedom and equality for everyone, wants to overthrow and reform the government, but he’s the kind of person who will not shy from enticing violence if it means he can push people towards the agenda he believes and get what he wants. Which. Isn’t a great thing, I think we can all agree on this, no matter what end result he imagines this would have. Anyway, why am I yapping about all this? Because it’s context to the aforementioned stubbornness. Aaron will not budge an inch over the stance that He Is Right and if you aren’t with him, then you’re against him. He vehemently refuses to change his views and opinions in any way, have them challenged, or even agree that it’s not wrong if other people see things differently. This isn’t just about his political ideology btw, but it’s the strongest example I can offer. He’s terribly stubborn about a billion other things too, ranging from things like what way to make coffee is the correct way or how a mission briefing should be approached bla bla bla. And while this stubborness was originally written to be (and still is, even after this realisation, especially the political aspect of it) as a character flaw for him, stubbornness about shifting someone's opinions, ideology or even the way they make breakfast is also a very well recognised trait of autistic people
to add to this, he also has a very strong sense of justice but it's justice HE personally perceives rather than it being something society sees as justice. He has a very strong moral compass that he upholds and very rarely deviates from, has a strong desire for fairness and can become upset if he perceives an injustice, whether towards him or others. (This also reinforces the previous point about him being very stubborn in his views on ideology and politics and The Way He Does Things because if everyone did it HIS way then everything would be fine.) He also tends to hold grudges towards people who wronged him or others, even if it's over something seemingly insignificant hahahahahaha projection?? Who-
EDIT because I remembered this right after I hit post but another staple trait of his character is that he tends to Take A Long Time to properly disect and understand his emotions. He approaches his feelings like it's a city siege and carefully analyses his emotions from all angles before he draws a conclusion on how he feels, specifically because if he doesn't do this, he tends to get confused and overwhelmed with all the emotions he's feeling that are piling up within him because he's not processing them The Right Way and predictably this can have unpleasant consequences in forms of withdrawal and quiet meltdowns (Val how can you be so fucking blind IT'S RIGHT THERE HE HAS "AUTISTIC" WRITTEN ON HIS BIG BALD FOREHAD-)
furthermore, this guy hates change, but also kinda deals with it quickly instead of being stunned into paralysis by it?? He'll take change and act accordingly to it, but just because everyone else percieves him adapting well doesn't mean he's not screaming internally and/or upset about it (masking??? In front of my salad???)
FURTHERMORE he also has big trouble with 1) making friends and 2) letting go of people. Something that was a genuine surprise to realise when I started thinking about this is that throughout the story, Aaron never actually makes the effort to make people his friends, he sort of just *is* himself and then forms bonds with people who approach him and take the effort to befriend him, not the other way around. This is majorly because he just doesn't know how to, finds socialisation confusion and hates smalltalk. On the other hand, if someone he's close to suddenly isn't in his life anymore, whether it's because they cut him off or passed away or any other reason, he will borderline obsess over them, think about them constantly and generally will be unable to let go of the severed bond for a veeeeeeeeery long time HAHAHAHA PROJECTION WHO-
has a few specific areas of interest that he's disgustingly educated on and will yap your ear off about if you make the mistake of asking him about it. Wanna go through a sixteen hour lecture on the perception of neo-renaissance in Dominion architecture and the depressing shift to minimalism the recent modern era tends to glorify? Too bad if you don't, because it's not optional
sees food as "something I shove into my mouth because it's fuel for my body" and doesn't seem to be too excited about it but isn't inherently disgusted by certain dishes either? More like he shuts himself down into Robot ModeTM if he hs to eat something he doesn't like and just goes through the motions until it's over (MASKING WHO??? HELLO??????) unless it's about plain turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise that he could eat until the end of time and be happy about. Or tacos that he never misses when the HQ serves them at the messhall. He'll also be there early to make sure he can pick the good taco meat (oh my god OH MY GOD-)
No, I did not have a tiny breakdown about this. Shut up
these are more like discarded wips of his character because now there's other reasons for why he does this, but 1) one of the original reasons for why he didn't mind having metal arms was because having less skin to experience sensation with meant no terrible sensory things to get secretly upset over and 2) he keeps his head shaved for a different reason now but back in like 2021 when I was first flashing out his character, having any hair was like sensory hell to him and that's why he originally was as smooth as a dolphin aside from just eyebrows
also to nobody's surprise, asexuality is common with autistic people wow who would have guessed. Again, don't touch him
In conclusion: this is so fucking obvious it's painful and I am not sure if me not seeing this is because of my own masking and my own percieved shame over being neurodivergent that I feel like I have to repress and hide at any cost and pretend that it doesn't exist, that I have only recently started chipping away at and overcoming, or if I'm just so painfully oblivious to something in a "hidden in plain sight" kind of way??
Or it's just my own autism not catching on??
Wow, what do you mean that the character I, an asexual autistic person, project onto and write about a lot, turned out to be asexual and autistic?? Wild. Nobody could have predicted this. Fork found in kitchen
jacobvanloon
blakekathryn
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