I like to draw

And I take full responsibility for that, as a a creator, as an adult and a person

Tw// Grooming, suggestive art, inappropriate behavior

Chat translated

Me: You are such a talented kid that it's noticable how much emotion you put in any of your drawings, I would never want to become a bad experience

Me: Also you are such a nice guy (for what I have seen at least) and I really like talking with you

Me: So yeah, I try to be careful with what I said so you don't feel uncomfortable for the age thing and that

Me: I know it's just two years gap but it's clear that mentally someone of 18 it's not the same as 16 years old

Me: I already finished my teenhood and I want you to finish yours with a high note

When I started two years ago, when I was 18 years old I claimed to be conscious of my responsibility as a creator, as a storyteller, and as an adult when in reality I wasn't

I thought I already knew everything I needed to. I wish I was actually mature at the time instead of just presenting myself as such, which brought minors who were vulnerable and hoped to find comfort, a friend, and most importantly an adult figure they could trust

But I treated them as equals, I let myself forget that I was not a teen anymore, which instead of taking responsibility and putting limits since the beginning like I should have, I encouraged them to make suggestive art, I shared suggestive art myself and made suggestive jokes about characters who were minors

At the time I made these actions I mistakenly thought that this was not a big deal, as time went by I started to notice some of my drawings and concepts were odd which I tried to fix in this post.

I clearly didn't get the dimension of my actions, as I do now.

I failed miserably in adapting my jokes (which made more sense to do in irl with my friends in a safe space) to digital spaces where I interacted with strangers. I failed in writing and treating delicate themes with respect, in maturing sooner before it was too late and my childish behavior hurt someone, in respecting individual boundaries and now more than ever I realized that my behavior was simply awful.

And as a result, I hurt people who cared about me and there is nothing I can do to fix it, but to unpack the things I've done and apologize for all the pain I have caused

And for those who were adults like me, they deserve an apology too

Each apology for the victims whose names are known, will be directly written towards them, while those who remained anonymous will be collective

For Wirt Mc

Walter, I'm so sorry for not being a mature person since day one we met

You deserved a best friend who respected your boundaries, someone who could put limits, someone who was truly conscious about the things they did since day one, who were conscious of the weight of their own actions, someone who was not unknowingly a hypocrite, someone who would never expose you to awful things even with the excuse of humor

I always told you that if I ever made you uncomfortable you should tell me and I would stop. But the thing is, you didn't have to do it the first place because you were just a teen who wanted to have harmless fun, you didn't know better at the time, I should have been the one who put the limits

And I didn't, which resulted in this mess I put you through and I'm sorry for being such an immature and disgusting jerk, exposing you to suggestive sexual content with the excuse of jokes, and not really stopping when you had told to

You deserve someone better to be your friend, someone worthy to be your role model and your idol

Wirt, according to what they told us, every time something like this happened, they showed signs of discomfort, and even, disgust. Even so, at the same time they was glad that these moments happened

WirtMc: Ehh, I remember it was like my stomach was churning, like having a weird texture of something kinda weird

-- : Like if you ate a expire food?

WirtMc: Something like that

They commented that thanks to their fanaticism for the artist, they encourage her and keep going with these behaviors, and even so, according to what they said, making drawings of suggestive nature was only for Vacz, no because they liked it, but more like for fear

Fear, to lose contact with the artist

WirtMc: Of course, you know that at that time I wasn't so much of respecting my own limits, I put people first before me and I was too compleacent, you know I never said no. She, being someone I admired so much, I always tried to make her happy for not losing contact. Even the weird drawings I made for her. She never put a stop, she even mentioned publicly once. Maybe she even did that in an indirect way in other conservations

Like Maia, for not putting a stop, though that what they do together was right

"Everything I did was to make her happy"

The most worrying thing is that, in actuality, Vacz seems to not know what she did.

Reading how you confess to feel disgusted and even sick when I made awful messages makes me shake and my stomach hurt, it makes me wonder about how many times I made you feel that way and worst. I'm truly so sorry, for putting you into so much stress, forcing you to make things you weren't comfortable with, not reading basic signs that you weren't okay, and being so irresponsible to not realizing I was taking advantage of you being a people-pleaser. Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted

You made me happy, but not even at that time I wanted that being in exchange for you feeling uncomfortable, it didn't have to be that way and I'm sorry for not realizing sooner

I read the messages back, and even I can't believe I say those awful things, but I did. I apologize for such disgusting behavior, for being so careless and disconsiderated

Vos fuiste el primer amigo que hice aquí, el aprecio que te tenía era grande. Aun asi, arruiné nuestra amistad y te defraudé de una forma imperdonable.

Lamento haberte defraudado, lamento haber sido una inmadura de mierda, lamento no haberme dado cuenta antes de todo el daño y el estrés que te estaba generando, lamento muchísimo no haber sido responsable como correspondía, lamento muchísimo haberte expuesto a cosas de índole sexualmente sugestivas, lamento haber normalizado chistes y conversaciones desubicadas, lamento muchísimo haber prometido ser la mejor persona posible y terminé lastimandote.

No te juzgo por odiarme o mínimo estar decepcionado, tus sentimientos son completamente entendibles, válidos y justificados. Se que lo mejor que puedo hacer ahora es irme y dejarte tranquile. Tomará su tiempo, pero se qué podrás sanar tranquilamente por qué estas rodeade de gente que SI te cuidaran de verdad

Deseo que nunca jamás vuelvas a pasar una situación así ni por una similar, y que a pesar de todo puedas ser feliz.

For Maia

According to what Maia said, she went through a lot of problems before this encounter. She talks that thanks to her bad experiences with SA (Sexual Abuse) and being exposed to NSFW content at such a young age, she passed through a strong hypersexuality that, according to her, it was fomented for these interactions, that even if it was initiated by the minor, it harm her in the long run, beneath all because Vacz didn't stop this behavior.

Not being an Isolated case, Maia mentioned five moments where Vacz created fanservice or enjoyed the idea of her character having a matrimonial relationship with another minor

Which she included the fascination that Hunter pregnant Luna, the OC character of Maia, who again was also another minor

According to what she explained, these problems were intensified

I'm sorry for encouraging you to make that strange yumeshipping

At the time I took it as harmless fanservice because fankids and shipping were common things in fandoms, and so I confused the situation and made the terrible mistake of not taking it with the importance it deserved. I'm truly so sorry Maia, I should have realized sooner the obvious and put you limits, and yet I didn't and it was horribly irresponsible of me accepting this kind of thing, and worst, being part of it

I'm really so sorry for not recognizing how messed up and weird the scenario even was, how I allow all of that to even happen and encourage it, it was so gross. I should have helped you to stop but I did the opposite. And for that, I am so sorry, sorry for being so ignorant of your condition too, por ser una re pelotuda and for not taking charge and not putting you limits when I was the adult, and I'm sorry to make it even harder for you now

Me arrepiento tanto de la forma tan irresponsable en la que te traté en aquel entonces, creí que era algo mucho más simple de lo que realmente era, ni siquiera tenía por qué interactuar contigo y aun asi lo hice y lo siento muchísimo. Lamento haber sido tan ignorante, tan permisiva, el hecho de que tenías como 14-15 y yo te permitía hacer esas cosas y encima las alimentaba es imperdonable

No te merecías nada de esto. Lamento haber sido tan irresponsable, lamento no haber sido la figura de confianza que merecías, lamento haberte romantizado tópicos insanos, lamento haberte animado a hacer ese tipo de cosas, lamento no haber sido consciente del daño del que te estaba generando y lamento muchísimo haber contribuido a que tu condición empeora

Te merecías una adolescencia tranquila, aún que sea tener un espacio seguro en donde no estuvieras expuesta a cosas sexualmente sugestivas, y yo lamentablemente no te lo di, y fracasé como amiga, como adulta y como mujer, eso es algo que nunca me voy a perdonar

No te juzgo por odiarme o mínimo estar decepcionada conmigo, tus sentimientos son válidos y están totalmente justificados, y por ello se que lo mejor para vos será irme y dejarte tranquila. Lo bueno, tienes a un grupo de personas maravillosas que se que eran un mejor trabajo en cuidarte y apoyarte como corresponde

A pesar de todo deseo que puedas recuperarte, que puedas tener una vida tranquila y disfrutar de experiencias de forma sana. Te deseo lo mejor y una pronta recuperación.

For the anonymous ones

I didn't put limits when I should have, I treated you all like if you were my equals and I'm truly so sorry for being such an irresponsible jerk

I said I knew about my status, when in reality there were moments I thought I was a teen too and acted as such, when I should have never in the first place. I'm ashamed of the things I did and say, my behavior was awful, inappropriate and disconsiderated

I'm sorry for being someone too immature for her own age, I'm sorry for not taking heavy themes with the tact it deserved, I'm sorry for being such a hypocrite, I'm sorry for exposing you to suggestive art, I'm sorry for promising to be careful with what I say and do but didn't, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable under any circumstances, I'm sorry for not putting proper limits, I'm sorry to had encouraged you to make innapropiate art, I'm sorry for not realizing the weight of my words and actions, I'm truly so sorry for not realizing sooner how much I've been hurting you and didn't properly apologize before

No matter what type of career I do, the simple fact that at the age of 18 years old I didn't take real consciousness of my actions was awful from me as a person

To my pairs of the same age

I owe you an apology to you too. I took awareness of my actions when it was too late, and didn't know how to properly handle them either

I'm sorry for being such an irresponsible freak with minors, I'm sorry for not being careful at all with what I say to them or to you, or not being careful with how I handle dark themes at all, I'm sorry for making jokes about making NSFW without considering the fact that were minors involved, I'm sorry exploring heavy themes without considering the feelings of real people who had similar experiences, I'm sorry to make you all you uncomfortable with this and any time I made you felt that way, I'm sorry for not putting limits on my self, it was so wrong from me. And I'm dreadfully sorry for disappointing all of you, when I should have known better

A few clarifications:

This specific section IS NOT TO JUSTIFY ANY of my actions, there are specific accusations that I didn't do

According to the story of the universe for that time, the character had grown mentally after being trapped into the fictional world known as "The Unknown" however his body and age outside of that world it was still of a minor. Something that, with the pass of time, it was partially reverted, however these drawings remind "canonically" since there was no other content that affirmed that opposite

She herself, knowing this fact, that herself imposed, decided to create the inappropriate content mentioned before.

I made these drawings from where I have the concept for the character to be around 18-17 years old (Around my own age). The drawings specifically were concepts that leaned into fanservice, they never were canon, tho I never clarified it properly, so I totally understand the confusion. When I decided the character would be definitely 16 years old, I already stopped with the suggestive art a while ago. However that doesn't change that these drawings shouldn't have been made in the first place, and less shared this content with minors. I regret making them and I'm so sorry to exposed teens to this type of content.

Inappropriate behavior in illustrations

Vacz, like it was already mentioned, worked a lot in the suggestive art with the character Hunter, in many cases, including other characters from different ages, including adults and minors.

Thanks to the illustrations she created usually normalize and show not healthy conducts in romantic relationships like:

• Possession

• Sexual Abuse

• No consent situations

In the canon of the story I made, it was never meant to portray possession as something normal or romantic, however in fanservice I did, based on concepts from the anime trope of Yandere, and shared them with minors, who didn't have the discretion enough to consume that type of media, and I should have been conscious of that, but I wasn't, and I'm truly so sorry for being so irresponsible and not realizing what I was truly doing and how it could affect their development as a person.

About the comic: With these drawings my intentions were never about romanticizing or normalizing this type of situations, I use them to symbol themes of guilt and self hate, but no SA (Sexual Abuse) because even at the time I knew I wasn't capable to narratively handle such a serious theme, so I stood into what I thought it would be "safe" for my audience. At the time, I was unaware that forced kisses also count as SA and didn't take it with importance it actually has, and I'm genuinely so sorry for taking such a serious thing so lightly. I'm truly so sorry for being so disconsiderated and make you all uncomfortable, because it was unforgivable.

About the purple doodle: I didn't mean to normalize no consented actions, and wrongly take forced kisses like it wasn't serious, but it is. I exposed minors to this type of thing because I was unaware of all uncomfortable situations I had caused, which I am deeply sorry for.

I didn't mean my art and my comments to sound fetishist, I never meant to gain anything sexual from any actual minor, I never meant to make anyone uncomfortable in any single way. The only thing I wanted was for this being a safe space to enjoy a horror theme AU without teens being exposed to anything gross, which I miserably failed. I cannot blame anyone but me for how I handled things in general so poorly

"Mention of fetishes that involved an underage character"

My fanservice concept art and the way I talked about the character's body were taken as signs of fetishes, specifically tricofillia (Attraction to extreme corporal hair) and or attraction to slim bodies (This type of fetish doesn't have a name)

The truth is, I don't have tricofillia, nor attraction to slim bodies

Originally, it wasn't even my idea to add these characteristics to the character, but from a user who was a minor, while we were chatting about concepts for the AU project. I accepted the idea and started to create content with these characteristics, exaggerating them because I thought in the context of the story it would make sense, since in the concept itself, the character didn't take care of himself for being in a decaying state, as one of the concepts I wanted to explore in the AU; the decaying of the human soul

However I am responsible for the over-sexualization of this character and I'm sorry

I didn't put limits on me and I let myself fall into fangirling, which led to me handling theses concepts so poorly and used it for the sexually suggestive art, when originally it was NEVER the intention of the user that proposed the idea and I'm so sorry for running those art concepts.

I'm sorry to have exposed that art to minors, and to have talked about sexual desires about the character (at the time I envisioned them around my age, this was before I canonized them as 16) with such a light impunity while not respecting boundaries, and once again, forgetting I was not talking to an equal

Grooming

According to NSPCC learning , a groomer is someone that builds relationship with minors with the intention of abuse

I never had the intention of abusing WirtMc, Maia, or any real or fictional minor, and I never asked or have access to their real life integrity.

All the things I did were made from my own immaturity, for being irresponsible, and unaware of what my condition as an adult entailed.

A groomer is a criminal, someone who's completely aware of their power onto minors, aware of their own twisted desire towards children, and yet deciding to manipulate them to gain gratification from them, through direct contact or from media, and not caring less about the permanent damage, trauma and harm they cause to the victims

No, I was not grooming WirtMc because my intentions were never about to have access on them or harm them. The only thing I wanted since the beginning was to chat with a friend

And this whole situation actually helped me realize that I, myself did have similar experiences with adults online when I was a minor, and that I normalized this type of strange behavior, humor, and such and I'm sorry for not realizing sooner, because all of this could have been avoided and there's no way to undone the things I did

Of course, none of this makes my actions less wrong, and none of this erases the damage I caused, and I take full responsibility and recognition of the things I did

I failed as an friend, I failed as an artist, I failed as an adult, and I failed as a person

I have failed all of you, for not being mature when I had to

But there's one thing I can do

The best for everyone is that I leave this place. I ruined my relationships with all you and I'm, again, so but so SORRY for not being the good and mature person I thought I was

You were so nice to me, and yet I still hurted you all, which I deeply lament for all the damage I caused

Now I owe you, to all of you, to become the best version of myself. And this thing, despite how painful it was to see, it's the truth I needed to hear

So thank you for telling me all the things I've done wrong and not staying silent

If you are a victim too, you can contact to WirtMc to share your experience, because despite me apologizing, no testimony should be silenced

While for you, I hope that despite this awful experience you guys still keep together and strong as ever. The way most of you support the victims and took action quickly says how good and caring as a community you are, I'm glad that they are now safe and have actual responsible people around them

I'm sorry if I forgot to mention anything else to apologize for. The message is clear; I was immature, hypocritical, gross and irresponsible, and I take responsibility for all the damage I caused to the victims and apologize for each one of the horrible things I have done.

Now I'll leave and take time to work on myself, I hope one day to finally be the person I claimed to be. I not only owe that to myself but to you