i'm not joking when i say ilya admitting to shane that he looked up compatible was one of the bravest things ever. shane also asking for ilya's room number was so brave too. i love them

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

i still cant get over carter vaughn sitting next to closetron 3000 and 3001 and saying "yeah its rough for the gays here. i'm an ally though". hands down one of the funniest moments in the entire show

the water in hotel showers will do things to the texture of your hair you didn’t even know were possible