i’m going to forget you. i’m going to forget your palms and how when they pressed against my chest i felt my insides, which i imagine to be bloody & bony, unfurl underneath you. i will forget it all: your stupidly soft hair, the soft agony of your mouth, your eyelashes & how i once said they were as long as elephants, the coiled shape of your tiny ears, your slender wrists, your knuckles, your exceptionally crooked teeth. i wont think of how we walked in autumn fields and your hand span was larger than the largest leaf we saw. your bath tub and how it felt like a safe place i could sleep in forever. i wont think of how i can’t fucking stand the rain but when i was with you it was utter rapture. i wont think of you, i wont think of how we could spend hours with my mouth buried in your neck, our skittered pulse like a ping pong ball bouncing around our bodies. i will erase you – for instance, i will spend an entire day watching you ride your red bike away from me. i will recreate every memory. i will rearrange my muscles. skin cells. if that is what it takes. i will never go back to the ocean - that ocean, the ocean where the waves broke higher & higher and the stars bobbed underwater. if by any chance i am to see you again, i will pretend like i don’t know you better than anyone else. i will look at you like you are kindling & no spark. i will look at you like you are transparent, a window serving the sole purpose of being able to see something more miraculous on the other side.
jessica therese, “I’m Going to Forget You & Other Truths”, after agooduniverse (via contramonte)
